THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

Slow morning and taking the opportunity to check some emails on a laptop rather than my phone. The GA has finally made it out of bed into the computer room:

emmsie young mate. one, I DECIDED THE PRUNINING OF rose could wait another day, when they told me, the resident comp was up and running, so I thought i'd be sure to get a glimpse of morning tea from your e'mails? WHICH MAY i ADD ARE GETTING MORE GUT ENTICING AS YOU COOK? OR SHOULD ONE ASK 'CREATE'?Bloody caps lock, OR MORE PERTINENTLY A WEAK BRAIN? w.f.brain?

If I don't make reference to furry bottom she'll prolly muck my computor up again!
How yer goin' Hobart? Has the mistress stopped beating you yet? Wot are all those brown bruise marks on yer fur? Give 'r a good scratch for me, duckie.
I'L EMAIL ANOTHER TOMORROW. IN PLACFE OF THE indescribably badly written effort I had started. Couldn't take the chanceof your boss seeing what a dunce your father must be.
the young woman who overlooked my effort to write, who at 20 years had nevever seen a pen to write with before in her life, expressed considrable amazement when she saw the pen dipped in ink then leave readable marks on paper,
Then SHE SLID THE LUNCH TRAY TOWARD ME AND DEFTLY PUSHED THE INK BOTTLE OFF THE TABLE, Quink everywhere. She was stunned, 'OH' that's what ink is'? Talk about dumb blondes, JESUS
Me back oesn't like sitting up after 4 or 5 monts of lying down. Getting old kid, So's yer mother, old and cranky, and meaner than her fsther. Still we won't continue in that vein, nothing can be gained by complaning about the unchaingeable. I could give me ammunition for tomorrows effort, nearly hd another slight heart atack when the news showed the train crash in Belgium. I always have turulations when Europe gives nasty news.always wonder whre you were at the time,
Corned beef 4 lunch, Not a great meat eater cant' stand the thought of the beasts previous slaughter, maybe I;ll grow up one dayy?
Cheers to u both. Fight te good fight, Give my regards to Mrs Danzer(?) spelling
luv from the old fella.XXXX

And then yesterday another one:

you ought to expand your cakeartby adding the odd symbol.Religious. Arsenal logo 'We are the very best!, I think, or up yours, even just plain old bollox. tHAT WOULD MAKE EM COUGH ON fheir Maccafukkinroons. Just come in from the garden bit, working with no brace around me upper body. bit painful now. but every little helps to get a bit of strength and weight back. Down to 74 kilos at the moment. But finding it difficult to eat meat. THEA.B.C. Doco of Chine hanging beatifull dogs so their blood congeals in the meat, Made the meat sweeter for eating. mate. iFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PUT MEAT, any meat into my gutsfor the moment. TThat last pic of a ferraal was of Philippa's black furry monster. Right?. i'll have to dob you into Hoby. SeeYOU KID. HOPE YOUSE ALL KEEPING WELL? Luv ex yer DadXXXX

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB LONG OVERDUE

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 31 March 2009 00:31
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: Me at sarah lee's house

still haven't seen your sarahlee's house photos. your mother has got a new comp, maybe she hasn't transfered them. F.K.

yOUR SISTER EMAIED ME THE OTHER DAY that tho the dy was sunny in D'port, you could feel that winter fingers were touching one's bones with icy undercurrents. Today I know what she meant. Was bloody cold out in the garden patch thisa.m.. Except today is accreditation day for the home, they check the answer to the question, 'is the government money being spent wisely?. If it weren't for prying bodies snooping around I'd be in bed. MAYBE THIS ARVO? on IT. nEEDless to add, companionless!
What's with you and your ever-changing admirers? French. German? Celonese? LOOK AT THESE? Life is so boring I think the altenative can't be any the worse. I guess I' ll see soon enough/ Cheers. yer pa.xxx

# # # # # # # # # #

From: John Davidson
Subject: RE: Me at sarah lee's house
Sent: 02 Apr '09 00:59

got the pics ofyou at the tucker at Sara Lees house. Gawd help us I'd eat tht beatifull looking food offa baby's nappie. I haven't had a real belly-full of ' real 'for farkin yonks. O nly SAlly Ann shit which is crossed turds on a plate with freckles on them, the farkin smell is crook, I tell yer.
Get talkin' to the wall paper and msake yer poor ol' Dad a happier man!Luv yah. Pops.XXXX

# # # # # # # # # #

> -------Original Message-------
> From: John Davidson
> Subject: RE: Me at sarah lee's house
> Sent: 19 Mar '09 00:45
>
> Ain't caught up with ma this week. Saturday prolly. When she brings the
> paper(W.E,Australian when we attempt the crossy. We must be getting older,
> for we cannot do as much of as once we did. Sorry y'r tired. It's a bit of
> a bastard when y'r young you have to spend such a lot of energy just to
> keep up! Ave another effi beer. Guiness for St Pat's day. What beats me St
> Pat was a Welshman who went to Ireland (Omagh) to spread the word. Yet an
> irishman would bang you in the lughole if you reminded them of that FACT
> Your great grandparents were Irish, from Dublin. Which might account for
> yer screwball father's antics? See yer. my dear girl. How about that git
> who gave his Daughter, 7 children. Fark. He was Austrian. So was Hitler,
> and he definitely WAS a nutter. Heil Hitler Luv from yer pops.

# # # # # # # # # #

> -------Original Message-------
> From: John Davidson
> Subject: RE: Last night's supper part one
> Sent: 15 Mar '09 23:54
>
> per the re: three parts. thereis nowt on the input on this comp. Sorry
> to say

A TALE OF TWO CITIES

View Larger Map

My neighbourhood now


View Larger Map

My neighbourhood then

xx Lektrogirl

WAITING FOR THE MIRACLE

From the website of photographer Olga Chernysheva:

According to Ernst Unger "Life consists of a miracle…"

This photo-series is shot in an attempt to free an everyday view.

Usual, familiar images become mysterious and magnetic. They urge the spectator to see the state, but not the objects themselves. In their loneliness, isolation, dignity and natural self-sufficiency these images are, in fact, a striving for beauty. They are directed toward future.









There is more of these pictures here.

Today I was lying in bed and I saw a spider crawling up the wall and that really freaked me out. Jokes aside about it crawling out of my vagina, the though the spider had been anywhere near my body in the night gives me chills. I killed it with my Chanel flip flop. Where I am from, we are trained to react like this from a young age. Snakes however are given more grace and we give them a wide berth.

My nephew has his 7th birthday party tomorrow - my sister has rented out the local pool, two life guards and some super slide something for two hours and made some green cake in the shape of a car from some show something called Ben Ten or something. My sister and I were joking about our birthday cakes as a child... We'd have to argue for chocolate cause Mum didn't like chocolate cake for example. Anyway after having one of the Cardinal's cakes I won't be turning back.

HAHAHA Mum and I actually were talking on the phone the other night about all the Christmas presents my sisters kids got. I reminded her about how I was obsessed with getting a Mr Potato Head and I never got one. She told me that I could have saved my pocket money and got one and I was choking laughing saying "What pocket money? 20 cents for every cabbage moth we caught in the garden!?" Which only happened when the runner beans and broad beans were growing. One day though she still might get me one and I will be so thrilled!

In my house, if we got the day off school cause of bad weather, we would have to sit in our school uniforms and do a few hours school work before we were allowed to change again and get back to life. The plus side of my weird father is that we had a big back garden full of fruit trees, a train track over the back fence where we would go and play aborigines, a big garden shed where Dad let me use the tools, rabbits [although we had to eat them...], two dogs, a cat, a cubby house, spoiled for sunshine and a haunted hallway. My ex will tell you the house has a ghost. He nearly shit himself when she appeared in the room one night. He had to sleep with the light on after that. ROTFLOL.

Last night I bought a Le Creuset casserole so I am feeling very smug. Then I freestyled a lamb casserole with plums, turnip and onion and kind of fake Moroccan spices. It smells amazing. Credit crunch home cooking / microwave lunch at work.

TRACK FOR THE MORNING: DJ Rod Lee - HUMP

So yeah, I'm waiting for the miracle.

xx Lektrogirl

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

I have had the Commander on the case. An email arrived this morning.

# # # # # # # # #

Hello Emma, He was wearing brown Blundstones. I've spent hours trying to find info all I've come up with is XXCENSOREDXX (if you want a laugh look up XXCENSOREDXX or XXCENSOREDXX on my space) and his father who sponsored a rally car in Tas. I thought I might phone the shop in Sydney that sell his guitars and say I want to interview him for something? so I can at least find out which state he lives in. (I need to work on the story more) why is he so elusive, has he become a shut in like me? the tan says no.** Hobart night life is all spray tan, choppy haircuts, knife fights and serious binge drinking, there were photos going around last year called the bottle girl-yes she did put it there and she was proud of it. Funny you mention XXCENSOREDXX when they had to leave the last restaurant the other shops around them had Champagne to celebrate.

# # # # # # # # #

Hmmm... no closer to discovering the whereabouts of a certain someone BUT some tentative plans in place. The last brilliant piece of news I got from the Commander was when Myers in Hobart was on fire and the new MAC counter melted flat as a pancake. That was a while ago now.

xx Lektrogirl

** Am very impressed with this deduction.

OH GOD and some elected themselves the love of my life not so long ago in the heat of an argument and it was one of the statements that burst into the room like a balloon of pink fairy floss fantasy so insane and bizarre - like a cat in a volvo dropping by to deliver Easter eggs wearing a false moustache - I could only laugh and laugh [you know one of those snorty chokey hilarity ones] and take great satisfaction in saying "Errrr and what planet are you living on?" and realise that the whole argument was mute. The guy was seriously deluded.

SHOEGAZER

Rewind to when I was aged 19 or 20, living in Hobart, leaving art school and working in the bookshop. Two guys came in and I watched them. I'm sure one of them stole something. They were acting really weird and laughing - total retards. I saw them out at a club or in the street I dunno - all the same vibe back then - and I ripped shreds out of the taller one. It turned out that he really fancied me and was only in there with his mate to check me out and to work out how he was gonna ask me out.

So welcome into my life everyone, Nicholas Dunn.

As he was my first love, of course I turned myself inside out for him. Also, this was the first time in my life I met 'the dark season' which happened on the day of the bush fires, but that is another story. We lived in houses full of rats with shitty landlords together, he would try and coerce me into jumping the back fences in the neighbourhood to go skinny dipping in peoples pools [err when they were still obviously at home], we would go and stay on his mothers farm and walk around wearing nothing but Wellingtons in the morning sunlight eating blackberries from the canes and saying hello to the sheep. His mother made the best mixture of tea leaves Orange Pekoe and something - I wish I knew what it was - and she was Hungarian. She was a good cook.

Sounds pretty perfect huh?!

For this idyllic life as I joined adulthood, this is the price I had to pay:

We listened to Revolver, Lush, Mudhoney and RIDE ALL THE TIME.



Listening to this makes me want to throw myself from a fucking bridge. But I was only too happy to be wearing oversized corduroy shorts, flannelette shirts and pig tails at the time. I have a Marjan Pejoski shirt now that makes me think of me then. It is the same colour as the Stussy woolly hat I used to have.

Nicky had ideas bigger than his ability at that time and totally not practical and 200% idealist. Someone had to pay the rent. I got a job.

Then we broke up and I had to leave the house we shared - even though he had no way of paying the rent. His sister left her boyfriend for a woman and his other sister was off in the jungle somewhere.

Last time I saw Nicky, he was in a hounds tooth suit looking pretty pretty good. But that was about 10 years ago in Tasmania. I would like to see him again.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #8

I think it is number 8 or maybe 9 - either way it doesn't really matter.

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX.com]
Sent: 13 July 2008 05:44
To: Emma Davidson XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX.com
Subject: appropos of s.f.a.Except yer a lousy shite who doesn;t email her dad when she shouiod remember she can't text me and tell me she is stil in the land of tge almost living

Dunno woss happened here. I started typing but the faggot continued in the re: line, May e I forgot to shuft te curser. F.K?
How aew hings going?.- over the shock yet? Any signs of the culprit? The theiving plonker? Male or Female? Don't suppose you had time to notice. Bad cess on thebastard.
Any luck with a job? Do not actually know what is implied but the abjuration of 'bad cess? Probably means somebody will pour a bucket of shite on him. Because A 'cess was a pit into which theworking class emptied their bowels.Cheers. E'maile me or did he take your fingers too? yer pa.XXXX


And for an added bonus, here is a little something from my nephew Sam!

From: Sam
Sent: 13 July 2008 04:58
To: Emma Davidson
Subject:

hi auntie emma i hope you are having a good time in england i miss you emma i really love you emma i will always love you i will never ever not love you. i am going to a new school in devonport i will be nice to you next time you come down here for a holiday in australia. it was my daddy's birthday the other day and it was coutney's party as well daddy turned 34 and coutney turned 7. on wednesday it will be auntie rae's birthday auntie rae is turning 36 uncle mark turned 28. tom is going crazy so am i so is chloe it's winter down here today it's sunny on monday i am going to the dentist and i don't have to go to school i can go swimming from sam



xx Lektrogirl

JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

So I haven't heard much from The G.A. of late - but it seems it was my turn to get in touch with him anyway.

----

Bored to tears. Sick to death of aged wittering twats of 'THE DUMPED ELDERS OF THE COMMUNITY' God help us we don't contribute much to current events. Penty of hot air, but what else to do?
Ofcourse one can wait patiently for a word from an errant daughter. Word to know she has eaten enogh to subsist, that she has a quid to pay for necessities and that some bastard hasn't done the wrong thing by her---apart from your best friend the Tin Tank, of course!
I think of him as the Crunt from Chigago. Still, as you have told me a million times, what goes around comes around. And even you must admit poor old Dutchy DeJong suffered a bit? pOOR DULL BASTARD. Still I would be lost without his Grand Daddy's big arm chair in which I plant my bum most days for a bit of private reading time. And I hide things under the cushion from prying eyes.
Lunch is up, kid. Luv yer to bits. Hope things are bearing up and all? Love DadXXXX

----

I wish The G.A. didn't say that about the Dutch Boy because I still think of him and wonder where he is and what he is doing and if he will ever talk to me again. Dad is right - I wasn't the greatest. I'm sure he wouldn't even want to hear me say sorry. But some of my happiest memories are with this guy. And some of my biggest regrets. I didn't think he was dull. As for the 'Crunt from Chicago' next time I hear from Dad he will have a go at me about something mean I did to him as well. So fickle! So I take that with a pinch of salt. As the crunt should too.

xx Lektrogirl

A NOTE FROM HOME

My Dad occaisionally gets it together to send me an email when he can. Here is the latest:

Howdy. Fuck knuckle haven't heard from you 4 yonks. Wot r u on? can't be speed ya friggin lurcher. Mind you wouldn't be surprised wot you'ld have a puff at?
How's the painting. Finished? Dick of a job unless you really like playing with a bit of btush?
Been to Deutchland recently? Got a new resident who is P lish but yaks away in German quite a bit. Keeps me on me toes
Sara brought the kids down for a couplea days, Goodness me they have grown. and get smarter every time you see them.
Took a tumble in the bathroom the other day. Jesus your head bleeds. no stitches. just a pressure job and plastic pull togethers. Fme that hurt, the wheel chair tipped backards when I overcalanced into it'BANG knocked meself like a light' not sure how long out, but long enough for a puddle of blood about a meter across to drip into the drain. Fark! Hurt the muscles in the back of me neck moostly. Silly twat,(me!)

I hope everything is well with you, mate? I wish I could take you to some of my old hasunts in Londinium. Maybe not if the population are still alive they've got to be a bit oldish--eighty-ish or more. Fark.
See you. YER DAD WHO LOVES YA. cHEERS.


xx Lektrogirl

I'VE LOST MY FAMILY

Not wanting to sound too grim about it, but Mutts and I were discussing the things I wanted from the house when both of my parents 'go to the other side'. I can't really remember what I said now other than some old crockery - in particular the jug with the handles stapled back together in the wartime days when there was no glue. I was going to make a really awful joke then about prisoners of war then but thought better of it. After getting banned from Venom's blog for real [tho' he tried to reinstate me and said he couldn't work out how... a likely story...] I'm trying to be good - honest Gov'. Anyway so - when the G.A. moved into the old man's home, most of the chutch went up to the Auction Mart to pay for the credit card bills Mutts discovered so it is kind of slim pickings but there is still some good stuff there - like the matching jug to my polka dot teapot.

GOD! WTF am I on about...

So, I went looking tonight to find pictures I had taken of my family in college years. I have loads of old prints that I developed myself in the top of the linen closet [no I don't have a boiler in there in case you were shitting yourself about the paper] but I knew I had rescanned them at some point. Ergh - I couldn't find them anywhere in my GIGABYTES of random online storage space, but I did find these online. They are pictures of my distant relatives on my Mutt's side from a really cool old family album that I have dibsy bags on before my sister I hope.




This guy always reminds me of Squarepusher. Do you see it?




The one on the right looks like a man in drag.










What is up with those devil's knot tie side buns on that lady?


SPANIEL HAIR-DO




I have always felt a resonance with Misery Guts here with the dog.


Dude on the left looks stuffed.

If you can make out what some of the scratchy spider writing says it is quite funny. It is a shame I resized the scans cause the book is much larger in real life. Oh well I'm always a fucking idiot somewhere along the way. And if I've actually got ahead in life for a few days some asshole always comes along to put me right back in my place.

You know who you are.

xx Lektrogirl

BOYZ II MEN LOL

And oh yeah - I heard Lady Sov was big in America. Her fans must be awesome.


And finally and unusual hit. This is a video I made ages ago of a Tasmanian Devil at Bonarong park. It has had 61,500 viewers. The track is AC/DC TNT, but I didn't bother to put that anywhere.


xx Lektrogirl

CALL THE RSPCA

Sorry pets, I have been neglecting you for a number of days I know. Please call the RSPCA if you feel the neglect has been too much. :(

Yesterday was Australia Day!

I sent a text around to my friends to excite them into - I don't know - something. Covvo replied saying "Oh I forgot it was Australia day". The Witch said "I'm having a Milo right now!!" And the typical British Gent, Alex T responded with a picture text of a 'gang' of - who I can only assume to be - Australians [they looked equally British!] outside a pub, drinking. He attached the message "This is why I will not be celebrating Australia day today." At least he wasn't saying I turned him of Australians.

Let's celebrate some great Australians!

Phar Lap!


Errol Flynn

Just for the record, he is also Tasmania.

Acca Dacca

Check out Angus' license to sell hot dogs. [He's fly is low in a live show.]

Dame Edna Everage AND Jason Donovan


xx Lektrogirl

WE ATE IT

Today I started a Flickr Group called WE ATE IT which you can see here flickr.com/groups/weateit. Given the nature of the shit that has happened on my blog recently it is sadly not an open group and you can join by invitation only. But if you want to join, let me know and I'll invite you no worries.

Basically, my new group is to feed something other than my appetite - it's my obsession with plate photography. I'm not the only one that does this. Some people I've inspired and others already had the piglet in them!

Look at this beautiful cake from Bok Bok


And this from Rat Boy David Robertson. I have to say that this looks fucking disgusting. I can see he has had a drink of his coke and hasn't touched anything else yet...




Here are a couple of personal favourites from my collection - which dominates the group at the moment but I've invited plenty and I hope they all find time to upload their foodaholic photos.

I went into the West End this arvo and saw Cardinal and we had a looooong afternoon tea at the Heals Meals cafe. The service was absolutely appauling and Philippa was right when she said that they should have made it more like Alice in Wonderland in there. Unfortunately, it was the second time I had been there and the service really was rubbish then too. But the cakes we had tonight were pretty good. I gave Philippa a bottle of Apple Liqueur from the Lark Distillery in Tasmania for Souvenir / Late Birthday present and a Tasmanian Devil oven mit. She liked them both and I was very pleased. The day I visited the Lark Distillery it was really fun. Mum nearly fell down a stair there which was pretty funny and it was 10.30am and the girl serving us was really helpful and wrote out loads of recipies for me to give to Philippa. Then the girl gave me a shot of Bush Liqueur which I really wasn't sure about cause I hadn't eaten any breakfast yet - but I have to tell you that this stuff was pretty amazing on an empty stomach. In fact it felt great! Check out the distillery here.

Then I saw Abbie and Lee who were talking about moving to Germany because one of them may have a job there. I felt much happier coming home today than I did when I set out. But fuck me it's freezing.

For the rest of the evening I am going to spend researching tiles and water pressure guauges to see how many bars my water pressure is to get the right shower fitting for my house. I am really nervous about starting work on Monday - there is a lot going on and my job role changed a bit before I left for my holiday last year.

And I worked out my New Years Resolution [Abbie's is to be Pescetarian to cut down on Global Warming] - I am going to make my house nice while there is no-one here to mess it up but me!

xx Lektrogirl

FRIEND FOR LIFE

Jo M might joke over The Denzel and Wesley Snipes and his Private Party to which I'm cordially invited but R Kelly is always going to be my number one guy. He has a song for all seasons. I certainly have a friend in R Kelly.

So, I had a friend who was asked to test Posh Spices Vegan Diet for Closer Magazine. She has to have before and after pictures and you know what they told her? They said she had to come in for the before picture as fat as possible. Like to bulk up. So wrong. I never read those stupid diet things anyway.

And here I am back in London yesterday unpacking my bag.

Still exxxplosive. LOL.

Tonight I'm feeling a bit let explosive fucked up with jet lag but I have had some amazing chats with people online and catching up on all the gossip. Apparently a certain IDM Fanta Pants [I guess though you would call him Tango Pants here] has been bored at home posting shit on loads of peoples blogs and stirring up shit for everyone. I mean - what is going on here people?! Him and my personal hater - both cunts.

Oh speaking of four letter words and the like - the Restaurant Adviser on Facebook wouldnt let me use the word "cum". I was using it writing a sentence with an Australian accent... I had to spell it properly. I thought that was a bit cheap of them.


Here is the last picture from my Tasmania holiday before I got on the plane.

xx Lektrogirl

LAST SUCK OF THE SAV

So today is the last day and I fly from Launceston back to Melbourne at 21:30 tonight for hopefully a 0:50 flight to London.

Today it is just 28 degrees inside. You Get Me. I certainly haven't had enough of the weather. I'm just looking at my scarf and woolly hat thinking OMG.


When the kids scream and get retarded, this is certainly wearing a bit thin. I also have a zero tolerance for kids messing around. Maybe if I had three of my own and had been dealing with them for the last 6 years I would feel differently. My poor sister really has to work hard with them sometimes. A lot of the time they are amazing:


I only ever got two Valentine's day cards in my life. One from a revolting Irish Catholic pig who I hate. The worst boyfriend I ever had ever. It has some frog on it and it was about jumping into bed. Ergh. I hate him. The other was from my German friend LudiLu who sent me a New Years card as a Valentine's day card after I MySpaced everyone to send me something. Anyway - this letter from my nephew is amazing.


He made me this too. A shame I'm not a teenage Indie kids cause I would probably find more ways to wear it - but as I am in Chanel flop flops, I'm freckly and walking around all screwface cause I'm blind when I take my glasses off and my sunnies on I think to wear the plastic bracelet made from beads extruded by Chinese children I think is okay for now.


An artist.

And here is the ute he wants when he growns up. He says all the time we drive past it what a sweet ute it is.


And this is the shop he will buy his motorbike from:

See that little girl outside? She was actually polishing the bikes. Bogans start young here. I also think that the definitely spelling of "braaap" is finalised, once and for all with this picture.

BRAAAP

xx Lektrogirl

WOE IS ME

It is the last night I spend here in Tasmania and while I hear tales of fisticuffs at the residences' of gentlemen back in London, things have turned sour here too. I accidently slammed my nephews head the the car door in the Kmart car park. It was a stinking day with hot winds and everyone had hot tempers and Sam and I both ended up crying. Me for much longer on a bench outside my sisters house in the wind with tears streaming down my face all about everything and nothing.


Also my exbroken leg from the car accident has been aching all day like crazy. I knew it was gonna rain and it has just started now. It is so weird how that happens.


Today on the way to the raspberry farm, we drove past dozens of poppy fields. Pharmaceutical companies grow them here just in open fields it is a huge business for Tasmania but it is all a huge illegal drug industry too. Each district has a 4 person Poppy Patrol to patrol the fields. How this is effective I don't know because the fields grow right up to the side of the road and are open access to anyone with signs saying "Entry prohibited" and there are loads of fields everywhere. (Mind you - the youth detention centre only just got a real security fence put round it recently when they got sick of kids escaping. Again - highway right nearby. Big scandal recently was staff at the centre were n big trouble for downloading porn onto computers at their workstations. Anyway...) So back to the Poppies. I asked my brothewr in law about the Poppies cause he used to patrol it and he said that people stole crops all the time. But now dummy crops are now mixed in with real crops so that if they are stolen, processed and used the same way as the real stuff in fact the dummy crop will be fatal - you will die. Amazing! Also co-incidentally today we say my B-I-L on patrol at the scene of a major accident and waved to him from the car on the way to the raspberry farm. Some car had decided to do a u-turn in the highway and some other car jack knifed it and there road was blocked and there was a hugh smash up. No-one died though. That would have been gross.

xx Lektrogirl

HOLIDAY

I found out last night I don't have to be back at work until the 7th January. Amazing only a little bit of a bummer cause I can't change my ticket home cause the flights are fully booked. Boo hoo me. I think I will either go to Paris for a few days, or re-tile the bathroom and put in a shower. Both are as exciting as far as I am concerned but not sure which it is gonna be. I'll see if Venom can help me with the bathroom or maybe Cardinal has some advice.

Sara Manara called me a BRAT because of my birthday cake! LOL! I'm gonna get her when I get home. I told my mother about it and she said "I think your friend Sara is going to be a good friend of mine." Favouritism!

It's cold today. I think I have to wear jeans. And we are taking down the Christmas lights.

This morning we watched the DVD from the kids dance recital. The best part was when Sara told me about one little girl who's mother went to school with her husband: The mother got caught at school giving blow jobs to the boys in the school toilets. Of course we had to spell out most of the sentence. The kids were there.

The other thing is my neice and nephews think boys come out of the stomach and girls come out of the 'giney' cause they were all born that way. I love that. Also in the car yesterday we were driving along and the kids were reeling off all the oldies that they knew. Thankfully they said I was a youngie. But they said that "Nameless is an oldie cause he is a baldie." Which is hilarious cause he is younger than me and he used to be totally addicted to a PS game called Baldies. The other thing that makes me laugh - well I laugh at anything - is when they ask for nudie bread - bread with just margarine or when they hit themselves by accident. Oh no - the best joke is one that Tom and I have. I sniff and he says "It was me!" even if it wasn't.

What was not funny this morning was getting woken up by Kookaburras.

xx Lektrogirl

A SWISS VILLAGE IN TASMANIA

That is right - I'm not on crack - or even opium or whatever it is they grow in fields legally around here. There is a Swiss Village in the north of the state that was build by Ralf Voss, who used to own a 'huge' [relatively] chain of supermarkets here in Tasmania. It is called Grindlewald and I even bought the cap!


We all played Krazy Golf and it was great fun until about the 10th hole and two of the kids had a screaming fit and had to be carried off to the swings by their mother. The rest of us continued. OMG - I'm getting a bit tired of the screaming - but the golf was so much fun! It was seriously sunny today and my sister forced me to use sunscreen. I was loving it! I wanted to frazzle myself.


We went to the beach the day before - Boxing Day - for a friendly game of cricket. It was sunny and probably about 19 or 20 degrees but we were all complaining about how cold it was. I even had to resort to wearing a beanie back at the shack for extra warmth - I turned a Sonia Rykiel hat into a total bogan steelo! Uneblieveable but true!! CIO!!


I'm so sorry Pippa. I will never post this on the Maison B site.


Apparently someone or other sucked good cock down at the beach too.


Amd meet my sister Sara. She is the toughest bitch on the planet. She is amazing. I love her. She used to do stuff when we were little like get a big black marker pen and write MY name all over the furniture then Mum would see it and I would get into trouble for it cause Mum would say "Your sister is too little to think of something as clever as that."

I spent the rest of today watching Law and Order: Special victions Unit - Antoine Mitchell from The Shield was in it AS A COP which was really disturbing cause I'm so used to him being a really amazing thug. At least though he wasn't a new token black person and Ice T was still in it. I would have been gutted if in the future [which is of course timewise where I am] when I get back to London Ice T isn't in SVU any more. I also had access to the internet properly so I have gone back and illustrated the previous few days posts freshly uploaded Flickr pics. I surfed eBay for a while for my usual searches - grannie dress, granny jewellery and old medical charts. THEN THE ROBOJAM CHAMPIONSHIPS WERE ON AGAIN. Maggot did a great job again, though no cigar. Booga cleaned up yet again!

xx Lektrogirl

ROBOJAM

Every night after the kids go to bed, Chooka, Maggot, Booga and Killa Kat all come to life and the competition starts on the Playstation for ROBOJAM supremacy. We were all totally rooted last night but the second round of the competition was in full effect. It was neck and neck between Booga and Killa Kat (a childhood wrestling name) until the last round - Booga got in there with two points. This morning we are all still singing the music from the Octo-beat game.

xx Maggot

ON THE ROAD

We are driving to the shack through the bush. There has been loads of roadkill on the way. HOWEVER I saw one amazing thing - AN ECHIDNA strolling down the nature strip. We stopped for some nectarines at a stand at the side od the road. We also drove through a lot of vinyards. We are at the shack now. Later.





xx Lektrogirl

SCRABBLE

I associate Scrabble with afternoons when it is too hot to go outside and my Dad and Grandpa playing it to the death. My Dad is the worlds greatest Scrabble expert - he knows all the two letter words... Anyway I guess it comes from the fact Dad is British and he must have spent every Christmas trapped inside in the cold playing it like Alex T, Bok Bok and Manara. Here in Tasmania, we've been watching HR Pufnstuf DVD's and are getting ready to hit the beach. Oh no - family crisis - my sister can't find the IKEA bag, but she did find the missing transformer for the last set of icicle lights.

Anyway speaking of life in Tasmania I woke this morning to read an SMS from Alex T's uncle - why they were talking about Tasmania I don't know maybe Alex was talking about this amazing WAG he knows... - anyway, the SMS was a joke:
How do you know when a Tasmanian girl is on her rag?
Her blood is on her father's cock.
LOL!!!


Anyway I've been banned from talking about Alex T any more. XXCENSOREDXX told me that Alex T is only interested in 22-24yo Indie girls and I'm too old. Alex T is my real life R Kelly! I can go to sleep dreaming he'll piss on me, but in reality I'm more likely to be R Kelly's girlfriend's mother.

If I was talking about anyone else except Mr T, I'd be worried they would read it and think I was a weirdo. But this is the guy who wants to tell everyone he is a facist on Facebook. I apparently regularly freak out Prancehall (XXCENSOREDXX is the same source of info there) but I really don't mean to.

In other news, Cardinal sent me the best Xmas SMS of the season - she put a red Xmas bow round Jamals neck. Her cat is blind and probably thought she was dressing him up as Easter bunny!

xx Lektrogirl

MIDNIGHT IN HADSPEN

Ahhh at last, the house is dark and I'm alone on the sofa blogging with my phone. I cried my eyes out this morning listening to a cover of Kate Bush by the winner of Australian Idol thinking about how hard this year has been. I'm so glad it is nearly over. I had a reading from a psychic - she told me I would move house. I hope so.


Tomorrow everyone is going to the shack of Poppy and Dash - jet skis, beach, river etc. I didn't bring my bathers. I don't know if I would be allowed to sit and get wasted on Mojitos in front of the kids. So I might stay at the house and go down the creek and play on the PS2 all the kids new games before even they have.

I hope my little house is okay. I'm really missing XXCENSOREDXX which is weird cause I hardly know him but he's so funny and has such a smiley face. I also can't wait to see XXCENSOREDXX who has been teasing me mercilessly because I don't have a penis. It's not fair to tell someone you love them then in the next breath tell them it's impossible. So mean! But I'm REALLY looking forward to going to the secret brown people's gay rave in a sari with XXCENSOREDXX - best fun ever. Apparently you cant take pictures in there though cause some men are married. Finally I will be pleased to see XXCENSOREDXX if that ever happens - charming, funny and vulgar. Quite delightful.

xx Lektrogirl

XMAS DAY

Happy Christmas!


One thing I have noticed about my family is why say it when you can shout it? Why be warm when you can be curt? Why feel hurt for a moment when you can sulk for days and turn a cold shoulder and create a silence that lasts years? Also everyone seems to be covered in scabs that take months to heal (scratched spider bites) or bruises. All Australians to be exact.


Yesterday we went to Chickenfeed in Kingsmeadows. If you walk through Kingsmeadows without tattoos over your whole body you must be gay. Mullets and wrap around sunnies, tight jeans and 'thongs' (flip flops) a must. We also went to Wooworths and did some last minute grocery shopping.


Last night, Sara and I were up until like 1am - I spent 3 hours putting together a doll's house. Sara did a scooter and something else...


My brother in law is a cop and he spent his night chasing people, talking people out of comitting suicide and he came home burning from pepper spray after he had to chase a perp who had been sprayed with it and was making a run for it.

Mum gave me a DVD she had made of all the super8 movies from when we were kids and a cookbook.

xx Lektrogirl

2 FAST 2 FURIOUS

It's Christmas Eve and I'm watching Ludacris and Devon 'acting' in the movie. Now some amazing cars.


Waiting for Santa

Today Santa came by the house in a firetruck and handed out sweets to the neighbourhood kids who were in their pj's and Santa hats.



I can't concentrate on the incredible movie. More later.

xx Lektrogirl