JUJU

And no I don't mean the Champagne bar in Chelsea.





So, The Cardinal gave me the fabulous book Nollywood by Pieter Hugo. I love all the pictures of the women and witches and demons. I know how they all feel! Redwine and peanut sick dreadlock anyone?

SATURDAY! I spent quite a while reading other birthday presents from last week scoffing nougat and waiting for my cleaner to be 2.5 hours late which is long, even by her standards. I did call her to find out what was up and she was having a fight with her flatmates who all had electric heaters in their rooms and not admitting it so she was paying more than her share of electricity. The landlord came for a big meeting so big trouble in little Ghana.

Through the course of the day, I decided the best use for my completely luxurious and useless new Luella notebook calf skin bound and embossed with a mushroom, would be to jot down some of Dora's comments about life. And today I was laughing with tears in my eyes about Elizabeth the other white clear she knew that was so fat she has no shape and so she told her and Elizabeth complained to the supervisor but no-one cared, the old lady who had a stroke and the Jamaican threw away her walking frame and how Jews [the חסיד ones] wear shoes that are so bad that if you throw one, not even a dog would touch it.

xx Lektrogirl

DGJIDGJLITDAXVGJIOL

Sometimes, after a few glasses of wine in the gallery, life is good.

Xx Lektrogirl

HAHAHA

I saw this on Jazz's FB page. So long ago this video. Good times vibes though.

xx Lektrogirl

APRÉS FISH FINGER SANDWICH

I had dinner with my friend who likes to ride a white saddle. I had such a wonderful and lovely time with him. He might be a guy and inflicted with all the failings that such comes with such a genetic fault from birth, otherwise he is a pretty top person. Another human I will add to my "I'm such a lucky person" list.

Got some great gossip: a mutual friend said he thinks I am a babe. Feeling is mutual!

NICE.

xx Lektrogirl

THE LADYGANG

I love us.

xx Lektrogirl

MAYFAIR HA HA HA

On my way to get some lunch I laughed to myself thinking how much The Frenchman hates my glasses and asks me if I thould get something that isn't so heavy and from his pocket the other day he presented these retangular wire frames specs he found on a park bench while gardening. I told him I wasn't going to wear some greasy nonces eye wear. And The Frenchman said "Oh well in the bin." By no means a funny story, but something funny to me.

Also, last night I was hanging out with Madames' boys Duke and Joe. We sat on the little kitchen floor and adverted CATASTROPHE or MUMMY WILL GROUND US and made blueberry muffins which Joe hated as soon as he saw them and Duke pretended to like them but really he didn't. So I said they could get some Kinder Delice from the fridge instead. When I arrived, Joe was dressed like a belly dancer genie and Duke was dressed like Slash from Guns and Roses complete with wig and top hat. He went to make his grand entrance to the living room cause they were going to sing me a song, only he was stopped short by the guitar he we strumming being too wide for the door. CLUNK! Hahahaha. Then we watched Mama Mia and sang all the songs together [I was there age when I heard the songs first time round!] and I quite enjoyed it but by the time the DVD started to skip and I got to turn it off early I was quite relieved.

I am looking forward to the long weekend. Aren't you?

xx Lektrogirl

LIFE OF THE PARTY?

50's fashion, originally uploaded by myvintagevogue.

Everybody recovered after last night's atrocities? I bet there are a few of you just getting out of bed now.

I had dinner with four friends at a local Thai restaurant. I had the Tom Kha and Lab Kai as per usual. My friends - who were taking various different drugs - made for an interesting mix of company. As the evening progressed, so did the conversation and my sense of watching a weird episode of Faulty Towers or something increased. Death by tsunami, death by Muslims on a plane, general death etc conversation for starters. Weird stalkers on the internet, weird sex on the internet and NONE of that was from me. They all hated the pub at the end of my street. It was kind of funny and nice. So they all ended up in my little flat continuing their own personal journeys to Midnight and The New Year visiting the bathroom and the back yard while I sat and drank pink prosecco, on my pink chair, watching the pink TV.

By the time they wanted to leave, I had already drawn a map for them to get back to the tube station and ripped it off the note pad I guess a little too eagerly because my best friend of the lot that was there cracked up and called me fucking autistic. It was also LOL.

Funnily enough though I had a really good time. I hope you all did too at whatever you were doing.

xx Lektrogirl

HAPPY FACE

I'm in Soho and happy. I'm going to buy some chromakey paper. I am going to eat something tasty. I bought someone a present and I can't wait to give it to them. I am smiling. I have a smiley voice. I had an amaretto macaroon instead of mint and loved it. It's a great day and this is normal. I am happy.

xx Lektrogirl

DRESSED LIKE A MORMON

Oh Allah. Today was pretty lacklustre. Dinner was pretty dramatic and ended up giving me a stomach ache. I try and be still like a mountain and last for an eternity but the rain is wearing me down. Then my close friend and confidant Alex said I dress like a mormon. Then apparently I am too tall. I got better though when we got out his iPhone and started looking at knickers on the Internet. And then we saw Nadia dressed like a whore on Kingsland Road looking fucking AMAZING. I wanted to stay out longer but I really felt sick to my stomach - so I decided to come home. And what happens when I check my inbox? The second email of the day from my friend from Hamburg Christian Weiß telling me all about his triathlon competitions with pictures [makes me feel guilty cause I never do any exercise], his travelling [makes me feel sad cause I haven't been anywhere since Christmas and I love to travel]. Anyway it's good cause I love pen pals.

Actually me and Alex made some good joke, had a dance and drink and did a fake kiss for Jonjo so it wasn't so bad. It was Max's birthday.

Oh Jah. I'm just writing bullshit now.

I better go to bed.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Just to say I feel like I have committed a great sin by writing 'Oh Allah' instead of 'Oh God' and worry that I will be struck by lightening or stoned by men in the street tomorrow. Perhaps I should call and ask Manara for advice tomorrow and ask her if wearing a scarf to cover my hair will help? Tonight Alex said I dress like a mormon. Shit. I said that already. I'm not drunk I swear.

OMG!!!
XXCENSOREDXX, XXCENSOREDXX's sister apparently got drunk and fucked XXCENSOREDXX!!!!! OF ALL PEOPLE [who apparently licked some girl's arse hole in the toilets of a club until she came and I swear to you she so didn't...] I tell you - when I heard, my jaw dropped. I was reeling. I couldn't fucking believe it. Shock of a lifetime. My days.

SHITHEAD

I learnt a new card game today called Shithead with Jappers and Mr Chips in Finbury Park. SO MUCH FUN. I love card games and it reminded me of when I played Canasta for hours with my sister. We had the most beautiful card set with some Carmen Miranda lady on the back. The other card game we played was called Mhing. Or something.



Here is me the only time I was Shithead. Mr Chips ended up as Mega Shithead after crowing all arvo about what a champ he is and how he was going to bomb us all with his cards. And a fucking cheater!!



Here is Mr Chips totally desolate after his shameful loss searching through rubbish looking for some meaning to life. A spiritual cripple.



Some others with no dignity were these Italians who looked peaceful at this moment, but actually when Jappers and Mr Chips went to get some Doritos, they had a screaming row which disturbed my peaceful repose while I stared at the sky and dreamt of all kinds of beautiful things that you think about in summer weather. Unless you are stuck in an office with broken aircon.


Chillax to the maxxx

A long time ago I knew a man who was living in a hospital with patients living with different mental conditions. Robert was a real pain in the arse. He used to collect porn mags and display them by leaning them along his window ledge to offend the female nurses. He also stole cutlery so that he might eat in his room. It was not permitted to have such items in the rooms. All rooms were free of coat hangers, the mirrors were made from metal sheets [not very reflective] there were no shower curtains and no shower rails to tie sheets from.



I was wearing and Oeuf t-shirt [remember that label that Andrew Hartwell did?] that said HOMME MINUS on it when Robert saw me. Robert eyed me up and down and said from under his grey moustache "Oh you are one of those women are you?" I was so emo at the time I felt like crying in his face, but didn't. I'm not a real man hater. But sometimes I feel like it.

It is properly raining now. I love it after a warm day. The air smells like magic spells.

I just went searching for my old French teach at College - Mr Redeker but couldn't stalk him. He was one of my teachers who was very encouraging. He told me that I would be able to do anything I wanted, whatever that might me. I just haven't decided what I want to do yet. Someone else said the same thing today. I'm glad I haven't "lost it" after all these years.



xx Lektrogirl

ANOTHER WEEKEND

And so where to begin? It's 9pm and I've heard it was a beautiful day today - I just made it out at about 8pm to walk to McDonald's for something to eat. I wanted KFC but that is further and I couldn't be bothered.

Last night The Cardinal and I were waiting at The Star at the end of the street until it dawned on us that Mr Chips actually meant The Star on Bethnal Green Road for Say Yes. Durrr... So dressed in what we had rolled out of the house in we made it over to The Star to get sweaty with everyone else.



The only woman to managed to keep it together in her Alphabet of Chanel blouse was Jenny Jenny the most gorgeous woman at the house of vice. My only regret is that I didn't manage to get her feet in the picture too. It would have been perfect.



Everybody else was trying to keep cool fanning themselves with 7 Year Glitch flyers that Venom and Cardinal were handing out for the party on 23rd August.



Mr Chips cool as ice and me as sweaty as a Christmas boiled ham. I look like a big fat piece pressure cooked silverside. HML.



It was then off to Lucy's birthday on a roof top in Bethnal Green. It was so amazing sitting out on a warm night drinking the new summer time vibes favourite - Whiskey and Ginger. This is Japper's tipple of choice that I am now adopting. So good. If the truth is known though I really hate the Cardinal right now for being complicit in a spit ball game with Paul Pieroni that took place at Cocadisco which I wont go into detail over but let this be a warning to them both that revenge is best served cold and your times will come. And it was so OMG cause my old friend Koffi was there by chance too. So much fun.



Lucy made Amph dance for ages and did all kinds of moves. She really was non-stop! I couldn't stop laughing! So much fun! It seemed she had a great time for her birthday.



I mean down on the ground with your legs in the air along side someone as smiley as Amph. I wouldn't complain. LOLZ.



A broken man.

Deano was also there and for some reason he was letting me punch him in the face loads of times on both cheeks. My hand actually hurts a little bit today. I hope his face is okay.



My love life is still the same.

xx Lektrogirl

THE CARDINAL

There are loads of parties on Friday night, but the one I am going to is this! The Cardinal from Kuntish Frown [LOL] will be DJing around midnight or so. I will have to find out before so I don't peak too early on Gin and Tonic and end up crying in a corner. Or if I had any sense, I would seek out a bar serving my new favourite Koko Kanu which claims to be "the natural aroma and flavour of coconuts with the finest Jamaican Rum." The bottle is very pretty to say the least. And it is a bit like Malibu but not as sickly. Or maybe if I had even more sense I would shy away from booze all together after the crazy long weekend I just had - but I put all that down to stress release from the week before.

Also tomorrow night is another Night Slugs in Camberwell at the Red Star. DJ Guy is playing there... I'm sorely tempted cause he is good times and funny guy! I will never forget playing scrunchy football with him in Paris at Le Triptyque at the end of a Diamond Grills where Bitch Ass Darius was playing, Goon and Koyote [obs] and a guy that DJ Guy and I thought all night the French were calling "Bum 'ole". We later realised it was "Bobmo". Mega LOLZ and shame face all round!!

God I just remembered the other two 'night slugs' that the Rubber Band Man and I saw ages ago on the pavement in Archway. GROSS!

I'm really bored today. There is a plasterer coming over tomorrow and I still have chores. YAWNSVILLE.

xx Lektrogirl

LAZY BLOGGER

Sorry, I have been so distracted by my real life to have post any real updates with pictures from my real life. I don't know what last nights demented phone blog was all about - but after 20 Drunk Dialled Calls



You Frigging Get Me?! Not so pretty... But see all that hair? I did smell just like BDL but not this morning. All I could smell were my weird dreams about a guy called Moose [like I know... so random] a swimming pool and going to the toilet in a room that had a latch made from leather in the shape of a dog with it's tongue hanging out.

I blame



HER

and



HER

for being too much fun.

Oh God - I just remembered the most hilarious cab driver of all my days last night!! Only I don't have time to tell you now cause I just woke up from a nap [real life was big tings today] and have already missed seeing my lady friends Covvo and Mrs V in town from Berlin and am trying to get ready to DJ at 333 Bar or where ever it is I'm meant to be. Moskow Disco or DJ Aligator. A hard choice.

Urgh and I ate the Chicken Diamond for early dinner at Archgate and keep burping spicy sausage. No toungers from me then.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB [BY SMS]

The Father
Just worked out wot FYI TEXT Y MORE THAN MUM means. Goodness me! Fancy u knowing words like that? Specially to y'r old fashioned papa. R u in bed? What time ru?

The Child
I'm pissed in a club with my mate Philippa

The Father
Half yer 'f'in luck. Have one 4 me. Cheers 2 u both. Luv ya, Pa. xxx

And the next morning

The Father
How's the head? Both of you pissed yet? Cheers. Pa.

The Cardinal and I had such a great time on the weekend. Even though I was standing in the middle of Dalston with no clue where the fuck I was.

xx Lektrogirl

DOUBLE SARA

You know it is going to be a good day when a YouTube video lands in your inbox from a mate in Denver miming a long to Betty Boop. Meet Sara T! I also received a random text from my sister [also called Sara] about contracting BV [gardnerella - ergh poor thing].

In fact, I might call my sister for a chat right now.

xx Lektrogirl

AGONY NEARLY OVER

Shit, so last night at the Tabby Cat Lounge was really fun! On the walk to the venue from different directions, Venom and I both noticed how many really nice bars, pubs and restaurants there are in our area. The Tabby Cat Lounge [the name?!] looks really tiny from the front but actually inside it is massive and split over two giant rooms with a garden.

The Bad Things:
My major criticism was the horrid 'window' display they had of all the drinks on a computer print out without the file names removed - so everything was like tabbycat001.jpg, tabbycat002.jpg, tabbycat003.jpg etc etc. However, when I walked into the impressive interior I forgot about it.

A few of my drinks were listed in the menu to be garnished with cherries or mint. It disappointedly me [and I think reasonable to be saddened] that these items were omitted when the drink was served. It only impacted on my inner vibes that likes to have things done properly but did not impact on the drinks.

At another table there were four American girls talking so loud - one about her husband this that and the other, the other about sticking her fingers into a lighting sconce and electrocuting herself etc etc until one of them deservedly spilt a drink all over herself and down the back of the chair she was sitting on - everywhere.

The Good Things:
They serve Miller's Gin - £2.95!
Short cocktails are £5.95
Tall cocktails are £6.95
Champagne cocktails are £7.95
2oz cocktails are £3.95


My sick drink and Venoms Slippery Nipple.

I had a Cherry Martini, a Louisiana Lush, a Classic Champagne Cocktail, a Tom Collins [with Tanqueray Gin] and some red 2oz drink I can't remember the name of but it did taste a bit like sick and Venom kept up all the way and the whole bill was £60 [including service]. Which Venom paid!

My favourite drink was the Louisiana Lush that was Vanilla Vodka, Limes and something else.

Venom and I got REALLY PISSED. And were even friendly with one another!



It is of course just a matter of time before we fall out with each other again but we really had a great evening. Hopefully we don't have another big falling out before Summer time cause there are definitely going to be some good times there.

I did not have such a great morning this morning when the neighbours alarm clock went off at 5.45, then a wood pigeon from the Heath had a rest in my garden cooing to it's heart's delight in its throaty calls, then the hot mail man came to bring the rest of my new tea set:


I have settings for 6 people in this set. When will we all have a tea party? Maybe when Mrs Vanderbilt and Covvo are back in town which I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO!!!

xx Lektrogirl

RUNAWAY

No lie - GOOD TIMES



I dragged Cardinal out last night cause she was a bit down over Jamal passing. Please all bare with me cause it is so difficult to not be making pussy / waking up next to a stiffy / mouse to mouse etc jokes cause it is also really sad. Out of respect for Jamal I just can't disrespect his memory.

We went to PUSH and drank £2 whisky and cokes with Michael who's new hair cut makes him look like an Air Commodore [it is really good! tip for the Summer boys!] and had a great laugh. Momentarily, I was struck cause on of the DJ teams played Runaway by Del Shannon and I was immediately transported back to the age of 6-7 dancing in my family living room on the circle mat listening to the songs' words and the melody and having feelings inside of me about love and loss and pining for someone. Like suddenly becoming aware of things like a broken heart and wanting to be the Runaway. So either I was incredibly EMO from a very young age / have always believed in love / kids generally are very aware adult concepts from a young age. Anyway - it was really lovely to be drunk with friends and reminded of that really great moment in my life.


Another great moment was seeing this person slink around with a tail of pissy toilet paper hanging out the back of her jeans. I laughed so hard I nearly had to go up to her and as her for a piece to wipe myself down.

OMG!! XXCENSOREDXX was there looking matronly. Possibly one of the worst dressed people in London on a regular basis. She could actually fill heat's "What were you thinking" page every week.


And this guy was a classic dancer! It turns out to be a guy called VINCENT LARKIN [thnx HML] and he was really busting some incredible moves when he hit the floor. Later on in his dance routine, a friend of his was on the floor with his legs in the air and our new best friend Vincent was dry humping him like a crazed miniature dog. FOR A LONG TIME. Everyone just stood around gawking in amazement. Then further on, he was on his hands and knees pretending to give another guy head to the music. It was a really spectacular show.


And Ronojoy was the most wasted I had ever seen him. I have heard reports but not been there in person. We were dancing to some Cotton Eyed Joe track [no clue what the track was some boys music] and in the middle of it all, Ronojoy stopped and started to do what appeared to be coughing up a fur ball in the middle of the room. Actually I think he thought he was going to puke. But he held it down and kept dancing. My personal hero. It is also nice to know that guy in the background thinks so much of us. No wonder he is alone with no friends there being so antisocial. LOL.

OH there are so many jokes to tell you from last night... LOL... I was very surprised to see Prancehall behind the decks with his mates 'grooving' along to Happy Song by Baby's Gang. Baby's Gang is not an East End grime crew FYI. Maybe he got confused and thought it was Chipmunks little brother?

AND BEFORE I FORGET! It was the Little Witch's birthday yesterday evening. Lots of screeching and shoes flying through the air with high kicks and slutty dancing from the Witch who doesn't look a day over 21. As he boyfriend is only 23 it is just as well!! [As she said - 'The youth of today!'] The Witch has always liked Pepsi Max though [The Taste of the Next Generation. YGM] Anyway the party vibes were enough that The Air Commodore even took off his cardi. Or was it that we were in a big gay sweatbox?

And finally


There is now the Booty Photo War that I started and now The Cardinal is retaliating getting The Air Commodore to do her dirty work. Thank GOd there was no crack.

xx Lektrogirl

UPDATE

Today is another day of remembrance. It was with great sadness I received the news from Philippa this morning that Jamal the blind cat has passed away. I shed a few tears from my feather down pillows in his memory. Yesterday it was just tears of pain from the Cava hangover.

In a Cava induced stupor:

P.S. Please don't hate me cause I'm such a babe.

Captain Morgan was a lot friendlier to my system last night which I drank in the company of Alex T, The Cardinal and Amph who Alex T and I called Bongo more than anything else last night. I'm still laughing about the man in the off licence on Brick Lane who gave directions to the nearest ATM as being 'Go down derre. Long way.' to Amph and I. The best joke EVER. Can I also say, Amph has the most amazing thighs? He tells me that his family are from Ghana which reminded me of Hugofreegow's flickr pics



And as Alex T and Amph spent most of the night wrestling while scantily dressed women played musical statues I wasn't too difficult for me to place Amph in some of those funny wrestlers undies.

OMG and now you have to work out what happened to who for yourselves:
There wasn't much else left to the imagination after XXCENSOREDXX got a stiffy after XXCENSOREDXX whispered in XXCENSOREDXX's ear "I can't wait to see your cock". I mean they are as homo as each other...

We all drank so much that we all started to look like this at the end of the night:



So I hope today that the sunshine will treat me well today as I need the Vitamin Sun beauty treatment to be babed out for tonight. I am DJing at my old friend Molly's birthday party from 10pm at the Alphabet Bar on Beak Street in Soho. I'm not allowed to play any 'black music' so it will be all italo, pop, disco etc. Which is a great shame as I have been showing a lot of face to R Kelly's Hairbraider track. A beautiful slow jam.

So in summary, this is my life right now:



xx Lektrogirl

THE BEST FRIDAY

At the depths of despair - or maybe it was chronic PMT - I rang my Mutts the other night crying about everything and nothing. [It is a long story.] And like a superstar she knew just the fixer. She told me to get £20 out of her bank account and go and do something nice the next day. So obviously I went and did the best thing you could do on a Friday in London - I went to Borough Market.



Like everyone else who sees these, I am always totally captivated by them hanging there at the stall at Borough. One girl came up to me after I photographed them and asked me if I thought the stall owners should be allowed to display them there. She thought that they should be hidden. I mean - I could see what she was saying, but I didn't see it as any different to all the other meat on display all over the market [albeit without fur and cute ears] or the fish in the fabulous fish stall which is my personal favourite stall.



Granted the rabbits did stink of blood. I asked her if she was a vegetarian and she said no. She just felt that the display of rabbits was 'a little violent'. The rabbits just made me think of when I was young and we had 'pet' rabbits that were actually bought to grow for meat anyway. But my sister and I had befriended them all and been playing with them regularly taking them out of the cage and letting them run all over the garden. When I went out to the garage one day to see The G.A. almost at staggering stage from a lot of whiskey and a half skinned rabbit hanging from the corrugated iron roof I felt really awful. I asked The G.A. if I could have a go at skinning it, he said yes, I ripped off some pelt and it sounded like Velcro ripping apart. I felt even more awful. Then later at the dinner table, I felt more awful still.

Anyway back to Borough Market.


The money Mutts gave me I spent at Brindisa on tortilla and chicory salad and a coffee. All for £12.04 [including service.] I made the chicory salad for myself the next day for lunch it was so good. And the tortilla was pretty good - warm and gooey - but not as good as the tortilla from La Rosa in Madrid!

Then I went and bought a variety of snacks to be had with Prosecco while Cardinal and I prepared ourselves for Deano's birthday. Focaccia bread, beetroot hummus, fresh tomatoes, blue cheese and garlic olives. Venom also came over but he broke one of my limited edition Babycham glasses that Max gave me as a present when I still worked at the shop. I was drinking 'Rose Royals' [prosecco and French rose syrup] while Cardinal had prosecco with Bush Liqueur I brought back from Tasmania made with Pepperberries. Anyway as soon as we got to the party, and the Imodium I gave Venom to stop him pooing all over the place worked it was good times all round.

And now by Sunday morning, the misery has gone and I am much happier! Thanks Mum.

xx Lektrogirl

HEAR HEAR

I lifted this from Bok Bok's Flickr where he is keen to point out:

nb:
1 - I did NOT say we're aiming at a trendy shoreditch audience. Slugs is a SOUTHSIDE ting.
2 - I said that bit about FWD off the record, can't believe they quoted me on it

I'm really looking forward to Night Slugs 2 even though I do feel like a paedo standing at the edge of a school playground. And I never saw so many checked shirts in one room.

xx Lektrogirl

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Tonight Cardinal, Venom and I went to some random house party full of New Zealanders. Enough said about that. On the way home, we went to the bagel shop on Brick Lane [the yellow one.] In the queue, some cute guy was chatting my up. He was telling me that he felt like a knob the way he was dressed cause normally he dressed more indie [he looked nice - maybe he thought I looked indie?] Unfortunately, he had a pimple on his forehead that looked quite angry with a bit of a scab on it. And you all know my latest obsession about these things. I just looked at it and thought 'No' cause I knew just too well what this facial infection could become. Even so, he was cute and funny. Until he said 'Hermes' wrong. Then I knew it could never be true between us. I clutched my warm loaf of bread and my cream cheese bagel and joined Cardinal and Venom on the street outside and we stuffed the bagels in our faces and caught a taxi home.

If I hadn't found a fiver outside the bottle shop where we picked up some booze before the house party I could have almost written the whole night off [Venom accused me of ruining his whole night and then finished up with his usual rant that I never understand about cab routes - even though for the most part we were having a good time together. If only the afterglow of his disco poo that he was so happy to tell me about had lasted longer...] However it was pretty fun.

Tomorrow looks like it will be a cracker. Cardinal is sanding her floors and has hired a machine to do it. I'm going over in my sweats just to watch! So cool! Tonight at the party I was explaining to Milan the reason why a particular wall had cracked in the house we were in and that in fact they could remove it an have a massive front room. It was a partition wall the land lord must have put in to make an extra bedroom.

Anyway, last time I sat at the computer drunk and late at night I ended up sending a Facebook message to XXCENSOREDXX saying 'I saw you talking to some friends of mine at the party the other night and I was too nervous to come and say hi then. But I wanted to tell you that you were the most beautiful man in the room.' Etc Etc. Suffice to say I have not heard back from him. And honesty, if he had replied to that message I don't think I would have had a lot of respect for him. Instead he did what any normal person would - he immediately told the mutual friend, who rushed into Soho [possibly not any quicker] to tell Pippa all about it. When admitting my shame, I didn't grill Pippa to find out any more about what was said - I can only imagine the guffaws between friends as he read out my message over the phone to her - I mean GOD I would have cut and paste the whole thing and put it on my blog if someone had sent it to me. The thing is, I can't believe I actually did it as it is SO NOT what I would do. What deep and humiliating shame that I have endured. Over a week has passed since then though and I am pretty much over it and LOL to myself regularly about it. And the major disappointment was - when I first saw him in the club I thought he was Spanish or Italian - just some dude. Then Cardinal told me 'OMG that's XXCENSOREDXX'. So in fact he doesn't speak with a swarthy European accent - I watched some video of him being interviewed and it wasn't like my fantasy at all.

So, on that note, I am going to bed to have a real fantasy. And maybe the hot postman will arrive in the morning with another one of his packaged for me.

xx Lektrogirl

NIGHT SLUGS 2

Megalithic Brap Hands!

Imagine if this was like the city of Pompeii and everyone got froze like this and dug up a gazillion years later.

And another amazing thing which should sort of go in the post below, or even in a post on it's own with all the other stuff, here is the final view listing for the NY Underground Film Festival.

Travis Hallenbeck, "1.AVI," 2007 (:10)
Paul Slocum, "New Veriform City," 2006 (1:30)
Michael Bell-Smith, "Video Created to Fix Stuck Pixels in Computer Monitors Recast (with Soundtrack and Sunset) as Video to Fix Your Stuck Mind," 2005 (:45)
Petra Cortright, "webcam girl pizza party disaster cat kitten dog snow effects," 2007 (1:41)
Damon Zucconi, "One Thing Comes After the Other," 2007 (1:24)
Travis Hallenbeck, "27.AVI," 2007 (:08)
Charles Broskoski, "Me Doing Pushups," 2007 (1:35)
C. Coy, "Elvis Action Painting," 2007 (1:23)
Travis Hallenbeck, "11.AVI," 2007
Paul Slocum, "Combat," 2004 (3:00)
Tom Moody, "Hoedown," 2007 (1:32)
Brian Blomerth, "For Kittenz By Kittenz," YEAR? (2:08)
Joel Holmberg, "Earthlink Halloween," 2007-2008 (3:26)
Marisa Olson, "Netacronyms," 2007 (5:04)
Travis Hallenbeck, "32.AVI," 2007 (:13)
John Michael Boling and Javier Morales, "Body Magic," 2006 (2:25)
James Whipple, "Valis," YEAR (4:20)
Kevin Bewersdorf, "Yes," 2008 (1:09)
Michael Bell-Smith, "Hit By Bus," 2007 (:16)
Guthrie Lonergan, "9 Short Music Videos," 2005 (2:00)
Paul Slocum, "You're Not My Father," 2008 (3:54)
Guthrie Lonergan, "Sped Up Bob Dylan Karaoke File," 2007 (:28)
Lektrogirl and Emma Davidson, "The Result," 2007-2008 (2:51)
John Michael Boling and Javier Morales, "Blood Fantasy," 2007 (5:00)

If you are in New York GO!! Don't forget to email your friends, blog about this, and delish it. The Nasty Nets program is in the big theatre and we want a great turnout [obvs]...

So I better get off my arse and getting ready for this week which according to my horoscope is going to be MASSIVE.

xx Lektrogirl

SUNDAY NIGHT & FEELIN' RIGHT

Actually I'm feeling pretty exhausted. Lemme make like Craig David and fill U in.

Rewind to Thursday night when I went to YoYo with my HoHo's at the Notting Hill Arts Club. I know that there are a lot of haters for this place and the club that it is but I will say I LOVE IT THERE cause there is absolutely no hating going on in there, loads of attitude [thug love], people are dressed up and the bar serves cocktails - there is always a happy hour cocktail! So G'ed up with the Sinus Spray and Cold and Flu tablets I was sitting sipping Honey and Grapefruit cocktails for the first half of the evening, then when Martello came on -

[Double screwface. Nice teeth.]

- I spent four hours dancing. In fact, Carrie and I even took our glasses off. It was really such a powerful moment. BOOYAH. The BEST part about the night though was instead of the breakdancers busting out which the small dicked lithe men sometimes do, this time the camera phones came out for some Poser-Popping ina big circle in the middle of the floor. Some serious shapes, signs and leans. Sorry for the blurry picture. I had my glasses off remember.



And here are my two pals with their own efforts.



The next day I wasn't feeling too bad. Only bad enough to miss the postman ringing on the doorbell. However a full recovery was required for the launch of the incredible NIGHT SLUGS - Bok Bok and Manara's night down at the Red Star once a month. For such a heavy date, dressing appropriately was required:


Which I have been told is straight gull-ee and fucking badgirl. Not bad for a Tasmanian G right? Someone has to regulate.

Before going, I had been having a deep an esoteric conversation with a friend about the kind of music that would be played. He said that generally bassline is a fake movement. That it only exists up North as something real and that probably it would be just full of bloggers anyway. Funny that - Prancehall, DJ Venom, Manara and Bok Bok all DJ'd and all have blogs. And I blog and I went there. However, my view on bassline and niche is that it is hilarious bouncy pop music and if a scene is 'real' or not I don't care. It seems a bit like thinking yourself out of having too much fun to be academic about it. The party was filled with good time vibes.


I mean - check the look on Bok Bok's face. It was good times all round!

ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY WHEN:
Prancehall's first track of the night was Snoop Dogg's sexual/sensual seduction/eruption [sorry was too busy dancing to notice which version it was.] It really surprised me because I never pictured him as a particularly sensual guy [bubble bath and vanilla candles?] but his womanly thighs have been pointed out to me by more than one person so perhaps Prancehall feels something in his groin for Snoop Dogg, like I do. Prancehall played a great collection of grimetime hits and grunk and crip crop and areandbee. Good times. Where's the beef? There is none. I was just feeling the love.

It was not a good time however after getting into bed at last at 6am to be woken by the postman at 7.30 delivering a package and he didn't know if it was the one from yesterday or not because he had the day off yesterday. The postman is my most regular male visitor. Which is fitting as he delivers the mail.

Later that morning I had to get up again with some urgency cause by a certain set of co-incidences, my friend Koogs was making a website for Samwell [you know 'What What In The Butt'] and it had to be ready by yesterday evening. Urgh so some frantic .cssing .gifing and .htmling with serious party issues. Not my idea of a Saturday night - especially when Cardinal be calling me for another night out. Which I am so gutted I missed.

BUT there is an upside to being stuck at home - Marisa Olson from Nasty Nets asked me if I wanted to have my video 'The Result' screened at the NY Underground Festival on Friday, April 4th. The Nasty Nets DVD is finished and you will be able to buy it - a 'coolection' of all the best craps from the internet compiled by people from the Nasty Nets Crew. So - awesome. I am so happy! If you want to watch the video for 'The Result' in the comfort of your own living room:
<------ scroll down
<------ check the links
<------ you'll find it there.

Or if you are in New York:


Event InfoName: NASTY NETS at NYUFF - DVD release screening!
Tagline: As Nasty As U Wanna Be
Host: Marisa Olson
Type: Music/Arts - Jam Session
Time and PlaceDate: Friday, April 4, 2008
Time: 8:30pm - 10:30pm
Location: Anthology Film Archives
Street: 32 2nd Avenue
City/Town: New York, NY

Nasty Nets has just produced a DVD (with video & data for maximum pleasure!) and we're releasing it in a screening called NASTY AS U WANNA BE at the 15th (and final) NY Underground Film Festival.

Please come and enjoy, and get your discounted dvd's--$5 while supplies last!

Big thanks to RHIZOME for sponsoring the dvd & screening!
http://nastynets.com/dvd.html
http://www.nyuff.com/2008/index2.php?p=arc&s=res&fid=295

Nasty As U Wanna Be
EXPERIMENTAL VIDEO MIN INTERNATIONAL PREMIERE
Organized by Marisa Olson & the Nasty Nets with support from Rhizome.org

Identifying themselves as an "internet surfing club," Nasty Nets is an international ensemble representing some of the most active artists working online today. Together their work both celebrates and critiques the internet by employing original and appropriated imagery and audio, such as animated gifs, YouTube hacks, html cheat codes, and other found and edited material, offering a poignant and humorous take on contemporary digital visual culture.

This event will serve as a release party for their new dvd, which features videos for dvd players, copious digital files to be opened on personal computers, and a type-in website by Michael Bell-Smith. Tonight's screening will feature videos from the dvd and additional works by members of this 25-person crew.

Nasty Nets was founded by artists John Michael Boling, Joel Holmberg, Guthrie Lonergan, and Marisa Olson, and includes members Peter Baldes, Michael Bell-Smith, Camille Paloque Bergés, Kevin Bewers- dorf, Brian Blomerth, Charles Broskoski, Petra Cortright, Chris Coy, Paul B. Davis, Michael Guidetti, Britta Gustafson, Travis Hallenbeck, Chance Jackson, Lektrogirl, Tom Moody, Javier Morales, Paul Slocum, James Whipple, Robert Wodzinski, and Damon Zucconi. The Nasty Nets DVD is generously supported by Rhizome. Discs will be sold at a discount to NYUFF ticket-holders, at the festival, while supplies last. - Marisa Olson

Anyway I better get to bed cause I bet the postman will be here bright and early again in the morning. Which I am so not looking forward to.

xx Lektrogirl

GOT A TISSUE?

Well I'm guessing that there wasn't a lot going on for anyone over the Easter break cause come Saturday, my webstats were through the roof! Thanks for stopping by!

The 'result' of my long weekend is that I have a cold and spent yesterday in bed with Season 4 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation DVD's [the LA one] and then got a total of 3 hours sleep last night. Today I am in my PJ's listening to the Mr Martelo mixes he sent me chilling out in front of the heater. Cardinal is going to be excited to learn that I have to have a section of my wall ripped out to mend some damp and re-plastered just like her and I can't wait to discuss the details with her.

I was also happy to read that Manara had said in one of her Flickr descriptions that I have a beautiful house



A shame that everything in the picture came from IKEA.



A trip to IKEA is more fun that a Racine / Wendy James gig any day of the week however. Last week or so I went with Pippa / Max / Paul Gazz / Caz / Jazz to the Bloomsbury Bowls to check out Wendy James' band. I have to say it was pretty shockingly bad. Had she chosen her band to be the same age as her I think the show would have been more convincing. Sadly the show looked like a bit of a weird Whatever Happened to Baby Jane scenario. And none of the songs were dope.

I heard some really 'dope' songs on Sunday night when I went to GO BANG! at East Village on though. I was going to save writing about it until my sub-editor Alex T told me how to spell Nadia Kasaiba correctly but I was so happy I went out that I can't resist writing soon. I'm sure that next time Alex has eaten a kebab he will be more than happy to breathe the after effects all over me and tell me about my shitty spelling. As per usual I had some spiritual moments with Alex as we discussed the universe. I cried AGAIN! [I know!!!] Which could either be the subject matter of the conversation OR the number of drinks I had consumed. My drink of choice was Malibu and Pineapple. Steph called it 'The Summertime Ho' but I think a better name for it is 'The Sweat'. I was also very happy to meet Alex's friend Amph who guessed I was 26 years old. I'm gonna guess he really thought I was about 29-30 and was being nice. Even so, he will be getting a Christmas card from me this year.

OMG. I just went to Flickr to get another picture to put online and you know what it said to me?

O HAI Lektrogirl!
Now you know how to greet people in Lolspeak!

Errr I don't think so. I think Flickr just overstepped the mark there.

I got a 'zimce' [German for SMS] on my 'handy' from Mrs Vanderbilt in Berlin today. I miss them like crazy already. We went to Canteen the other day before they left and it was pretty terrible.



Bachelor Food. And the waiter didn't find it funny when I asked him what his problem was that they didn't have soya milk for a latte.

Oh this was cool: My nephew Tom who is two and I have this really amazing joke.



It is pretty complicated and esoteric so if you don't get it, I kind of understand. Basically it works like this: I go up to him and say "What's that smell?" and he thinks for a minute and then says "It's me!!" Then we both crack up laughing. It even works over the telephone. It is a really great joke. In a few more years I will teach him a little more toilet humour and lesbian jokes. Anyway Tom is really into Cars and loves being a Jedi [Mum... Can you love a Jedi?] even though he has never managed to stay awake through one entire Star Wars movie.

xx Lektrogirl