Sunday, 21 December 2008


Last night with the Lady Gang I told them all about my new predilection for old men with cab driver shoes, beaten up hands and dirty minds: poster boy = Charles Bukowski. In the middle of it all Madame became the Karaoke Penis with "I Will Always Love You" [Whitney or Doll - you decide...] where as Cazza thought it should have been "Je Suis Un Rock Star" but Mrs Kipling was thinking more of "The Littlest Hobo" and Allah I can't tell you what I was thinking about because it would give the whole game away.

BUT today I was walking down the street juggling two vintage dresses from my top secret shop, a variety of Dolfin chocolates and a giant picture frame I found wrapped in bubble plastic and shoved behind the phone line box thing when some squat black guy with the collar of his denim jacket turned up said to me "Mmmmmm Nice Body..." Of course there is no arguing there. Only as it is completely true I am 100% ungrateful and wasn't pleased at all. The guy was too young and not weird looking enough OR young enough and hot enough. I was more thrilled when the four young kids this morning told me to "Shut Up" when I walked past them all huddled round their big white lady dog who was squatting in the street taking the biggest piss ever. And as the yellow pool of wee got bigger and bigger so did all these boys eyes and they were saying "Man this is gonna be flooding the neighbourhood" I burst out laughing and was told to shut up - so scared lol - on of them said "This is like SO LONG" and I burst out laughing again...

Only two more days til the Christmas break and I really cannot wait. I also cannot wait to get dressed tomorrow in my new blue gross grain party dress. Totally OTT but I am going to Dogtainian's house for meatballs for dinner maybe so I want to be prepared. ANYWAY TO STATE CONCLUSIVELY THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON.

Okay pricks. Last time I had a date, it was with Young Duke. Now we have a little competition: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE TWO PICTURES.

It's tough I know but please post your answers in the comments...



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