SHOEGAZER

Rewind to when I was aged 19 or 20, living in Hobart, leaving art school and working in the bookshop. Two guys came in and I watched them. I'm sure one of them stole something. They were acting really weird and laughing - total retards. I saw them out at a club or in the street I dunno - all the same vibe back then - and I ripped shreds out of the taller one. It turned out that he really fancied me and was only in there with his mate to check me out and to work out how he was gonna ask me out.

So welcome into my life everyone, Nicholas Dunn.

As he was my first love, of course I turned myself inside out for him. Also, this was the first time in my life I met 'the dark season' which happened on the day of the bush fires, but that is another story. We lived in houses full of rats with shitty landlords together, he would try and coerce me into jumping the back fences in the neighbourhood to go skinny dipping in peoples pools [err when they were still obviously at home], we would go and stay on his mothers farm and walk around wearing nothing but Wellingtons in the morning sunlight eating blackberries from the canes and saying hello to the sheep. His mother made the best mixture of tea leaves Orange Pekoe and something - I wish I knew what it was - and she was Hungarian. She was a good cook.

Sounds pretty perfect huh?!

For this idyllic life as I joined adulthood, this is the price I had to pay:

We listened to Revolver, Lush, Mudhoney and RIDE ALL THE TIME.



Listening to this makes me want to throw myself from a fucking bridge. But I was only too happy to be wearing oversized corduroy shorts, flannelette shirts and pig tails at the time. I have a Marjan Pejoski shirt now that makes me think of me then. It is the same colour as the Stussy woolly hat I used to have.

Nicky had ideas bigger than his ability at that time and totally not practical and 200% idealist. Someone had to pay the rent. I got a job.

Then we broke up and I had to leave the house we shared - even though he had no way of paying the rent. His sister left her boyfriend for a woman and his other sister was off in the jungle somewhere.

Last time I saw Nicky, he was in a hounds tooth suit looking pretty pretty good. But that was about 10 years ago in Tasmania. I would like to see him again.

xx Lektrogirl