Hi! My name is Lektrogirl and I am a business woman, musician, DJ, internet artist and general new media puppet.
I LOVE THE INTERNET. I collect animated gifs of love hearts, I make web pages. I love food. I miss my Dad who is back home in Tasmania, which is where I used to be from. Now I am from London. Booyah!!!
Having trouble readying my blog? Check it in IE, the internet's lowest common denominator [and personal favourite].
At my new job I have been TCB - [learnt this from Bok Bok via Manara - Take Care of Business.] Basically, getting stuck into some long overdue paperwork house keeping so that I can get cracking with my job properly. So sorting, filing, researching, asking questions, updating computers etc etc. The people I work with are super nice and couldn't be more helpful - but for those of you who read my blog who have ever had a job [so that would be 90% the girls, 30% of guys who have had 'real jobs' 30% of guys who have kind of had 'pretend jobs' that were just like DJing for cash or something but it still counts - the left over girls and 40% men you won't get this] - you will understand that a new job is always A LOT; Working out if you wore the right thing, who will be your allies, how everyone has their tea, how long you can talk on the phone without looking like a slacker, can you install Miranda/Trillion etc... S.T.R.E.S.S. And of course, overcoming my Internet addiction and having to drink cows milk for the time being out of an ugly cup. [How long can I leave it before I can bring in my own china teacup for plunger coffee without everyone thinking I'm a tosser but thinking I'm cool and quirky? YGM?]
So the following song, Let There Be House, is dedicate to me and my new job.
This song also holds some very deep connections to my life back in Tasmania. When this record first came out, I bought the 12" and went totally nuts listening to it over and over and dancing all the stresses of my life out in the hallway on Mum's new carpet. I was in year 11 or 12 - so 16 or 17. I was the bane of Mum's life - because the carpet was so new and woolly, one dance session would kick up all the new fluff of the wool - virtually tumble weave - that she would go round clucking and picking up spluttering at me "Stop It!! You are kicking up all the carpet!! You will dance a hole in the carpet!!"
Listening to this song again now is a really great de-stress session for me. On top of the new job and the heartbreak over the Chanel lipstick really not being up to scratch, I had a fucking shit start to the week over really weird weird stuff that has also been on my mind. I just feel so much is in the bin right now - more like hard knocks from other people's misplaced weirdness - and like my astrology said today - 'just let it be like water off a duck's back' which is true, but when I'm super stressed/tired about a new job its hard. I went out to dinner with Max tonight and he asked me about all my woes [I cried in China Town - AGAIN! - FFS!! I really must be hitting menopause!!] and it was so nice to be sitting with one of my oldest bestest craziest friend 'chewing the fat'.
Something to look forward too though! I am going to Nantes to see Puyo Puyo and Eva on the 18th October for a gig there. WOOHOO. I don't know who else is playing but I am sure it will be excellent. I haven't seen them since I met them in Liege - the same night I met Lu and Bernd from Mash Gordon. FUCK ME!! THAT WAS A PARTY!! Yerrr...
I said I wouldn't post another one of these every again but I couldn't resist. The other night after watching a plethora of cyst videos on YouTube and having Facebook chats with a nice friend, I then when to bed and called my friend for further conversation where he was continuing to watch these videos and describing everything that was happening in them - I was watching these videos by proxy! Oh what a happy heart. Anyway this one sounded SO GOOD that I had to get the link and sure enough it was in my inbox this morning for me to enjoy [I had garlic stuff olives and cherry tomatoes for breakfast with a cup of English Breakfast tea.]
Anyway if you don't have the stomach to be checking out the video above, I will explain briefly that it is someone with a tooth abscess squeezing the bloody puss into her own mouth. It is fucking RANK.
In other news, my big Saturday night was Mr Chips and I making Facebook videos for a number of friends. Apologies to those who received rather weird videos [Mrs Kipling and Cazza for example]
Night night beautiful people. I want to go and have sweet dreams.
Well not a lot. I have been working on a couple of websites, went for lunch and had the usual omelette at Archgate, photographed some tumbleweave on the way, came home, had a sleep, missed the opening ceremony of the Olympics, made a couple of videos for Mr Chips on Facebook, ate some guacamole on Dr Karg's Emmental and Spelt crackers and gave myself a stomach ache. Tonight I am not going out because it is the NEW SERIOUS - SERIES LOL - of LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT at 10pm. Not even the world's worst period cramps, worry about menopause coming and dying without ever having children will stop me from getting excited about that.
In other news, Archway station was closed today cause of a person under a train. There was one emergency response van, three fire trucks and about five ambulances and cop cars everywhere. Serious business.
For the record, I don't even really like ABBA but I have just really got into them when they sing in other languages. Also, it is kind of fitting - a lot of the customers today have been Aussies too - Muriel's Wedding and all.
Commendations to the creator of this video who has spent some time with the Windows Movie Maker software using every transition possible. Perhaps they would use OneTrueMedia these days - the method of choice for modern pimps.
xx Lekrogirl
P.S. Gotta add
Watching this does give me spiritual homeland vibes chills up my spine. You can take the girl out of Australia but you can't take Australia out of the girl.
I hurt his feelings. It was a mistake. I can see that. I see his passion and his pain. Both of those things start with P. So does his name. But Philip sounds more like it starts with an F.
And today I am in the Shop sitting in the cool basement with my shoes off and feet up on a stool listening to ABBA sung in Swedish in a shirt I bought last summer and never wore and I went looking for some sandals this morning and couldn't find them and found the shirt instead. I had already changed three times but still didn't feel right but I found the shirt and my life just fell into place. I wonder if I can work Max's laptop to make a video like Mr Chips did? I hesitate only because I worry I will end up looking like I have an double chin.
My intense sleep therapy is finally budging my cold. When I cough it doesn't sound like a have a lump of phlegm the size of a small octopus in my throat. The other bonus is that I have started to have dreams again. All the time. About all kinds of things. Sometimes based on midnight phone conversations I have had. Other times just random stuff.
I dreamt I was back at school with friends. I had been expelled but was determined to stay for as long as possible to learn more and eat the free food. As I walked up a hill into a forgotten building, I saw a man who had the most beautiful face. He asked me if I needed saving. We spoke very closely to one another so that I could feel his breath on my face. We kept out conversation secret from a short woman. I told him I did and we left together. Then we walked into a street market where there were strands of seaweed for sale. He had become a woman and was no longer the calm beautiful person I met.
The thing is, I keep dreaming about seaweed ALL the time at the moment. And it always looks the type of seaweed. Apparently to see seaweed in your dream, suggests that you need to rely on your intuition and trust your instincts.
As for the slug in the photo above - I don't think I would trust him. He was getting along really fast. Slugs are meant to be slow right?
Music I'm listening to right now:
R Kelly vs Ginuwine IN THOSE JEANS. [Two Homies for the homos.]
There is someone out there who makes this internet thug cry something terrible.
I have spent the last days asleep, half awake, dreaming, imagining how I wish life was, dreaming, forgetting again, talking too late to randoms on facebook chats and now I am totally lost. I can't remember what I really said to anyone and what they really said to me. I would enjoy the feeling if it was accompanied by sore throat and sweaty brow!
I have had some really nice music sent to me [I know a bit weird but I was really into it at 5am the other night]
And I was reminded of some good times good jokes [I reckon I have watched this about 12 times]
I cried in Greek Street but was laughing by the time I got to Frith Street. Then I got to my street and delirium had started in.
Dad sent me another email:
From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX.com] Sent: 14 July 2008 06:24 To: Emma Davidson Subject: RE: appropos of sfa as usual except it passes the time talking to an intelligent person
One certainly gets tired of listening to the aged cough their lungs up, dribble, talk incessantly of their bowels, aches and pains, their children who rarely come and see them, the 'orrible food, much of which appears to have passed thru a human body before, (like mince on toast, brown, runny, smelly and sits on toast which has wiped a bottom . Suck it and see!. XXCENSOREDXX bloke sounds a bit suss? Not a criticism just a comment in passing. Knowing you, you prolly frighten the shite out of him? He might be a cock virgin? If you end up the duff you can always come home? I'll sign over my half the house to you so you can borrow some dough to start a business. DON'T GO BRAGGING THAT BIT OF INFO TO YER MA NOR SARA)D,H or i'll send a witch to give you warts on the private parts Just eating a bag og Smiff's chips Original. BUT THEY AINT ORIGINAL because the original used to have twist paper with salt in, nearly 80 years ago. Jesus your old pa is getting a bit aged. Still God's Chosen, the Pope. is 81, He wears red slippers. I wonder wot colour his drawers are? Dpes the pope have to wipe his bum. or does he have a bumboy?Cheers Darling daughter. Try not to scare shite out of yer dere ol' dad. Keep safe. PaXXXX
Just for the record I don't know where The G.A. gets the idea about the getting pregnant stuff from! Totally random. Cause I didn't say anything about that to him! Jesus. Even my own father calls me a slut. But then everything I learnt about sex I learnt from him anyway. I remember him drawing anatomical diagrams in the columns next to his crossword puzzle for me. I remember also sitting in the dining room when I was a kid listening to Dad in the living room talking to Grandpa talking about all the women they had sex with when they were younger. They thought they were being really discreet but they were both deaf they were practically yelling at one another.
Okay friends I feel that if I go on, I will be writing more than I should and my astrology told me today to be more circumspect... LOL
xx Lektrogirl
P.S. If anyone wants to bring me some food please do.
I have just discovered the most hideous video online of all time. I don't know how I end up there on the internet. I don't even know what this one is. Please don't watch it. I had a delicious cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit this morning and now I just want to lose the lot...
DO NOT WATCH THIS UNLESS YOU ARE CRAZY. Seriously. This is worse than the cyst movie.
From: khriskhaos2 Joined: 1 year ago Videos: 25 Please login to subscribe. Added: September 29, 2007 (More info) Click This To Learn New Dance Moves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuG46sPc-LU Watch That Video & Comment Please http://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/FLAWLESSKBLACK ADD ME ON MYSPACE! This Is A 10 Minute Dance Tutorial That You Will Not Regret Watching.' I have been requested by over 300 people to make a serious dance tutorial on how to dance for women. This video is for both women and males.. i know alot of girls dont know how to grind and are embarrassed to dance for their boyfriends so ladies u can learn from this because it looks even sexier when done by a female.
this will not work when done for EVERY single girl.. alot of girls don't find this sexy at all,but i guareentee you that the MAJORITY of women LOVE to see a guy dance this way.. it turns them on and it makes them wonder if you can move your body like that in bed..
The easiest way to figure out if a girl will enjoy watching you do this.. is to find out what TYPE of music she listens to.. If she listens to any music artists that mostly talks about sex.. that means she will LOVE to see you dance this way and will be wishing she was there to dance with you.. here are a few examples.. Pretty Ricky Usher Tyrese Jagged Edge J Holiday Genuwine Silk D' Angelo Justin Timberlake LL Cool J Ludacris Lil Kim 112 R Kelly Blackstreet Bobby Valentino Ne-Yo B2K Brandon Hines If the girl enjoys listening to any of those artists... theres a good chance that she would love to see a guy who can do these freaky dances.
I Have A Myspace Page Too www.myspace.com/flawlesskblack
Here is the latest tip from Sara T that I want to post on the first day of summer here in the UK and dedicate to all the men in my life - I think there is a role in this video for all of you:
OBSESSED with this video of Amii Stewart performing Knock On Wood live and considering the possibility of learning all the dance moves. AMAZING top half to the dress. Don't think much of the handkerchief hem weighted down with gold tassels. I didn't really realise what Pop music was when I was little but I do remember my cousins who were all older than me arguing over a record and whos turn it was to play what song - it was some green vinyl compilation. Then I saw the video to this song with Amii Stewart and all the Fairlight CVI effects [an Australian invention just so you know] thinking it was so amazing. And then my cousin Sally Ann and I working out dance routines and writing the moves out on large pieces of paper and practising them for hours.
They always seemed really fake. And now I know why:
Lo-bat. is a really good friend of mine - he was even at my wedding with his girlfriend Wendy. Probably, if he had been asked he would have been up for any kind of collaboration or his music being used. A shame he didn't even get the chance.
What I don't get is why musicians do this - rip someone off so blatantly and think they aren't gonna get found out. There was some other Scandiavian twats who did the same thing recently too. I can't think who they were...
Anyway - if you want to hear the tracks that Crystal Castles have ripped off and ignored the Creative Commons license that they were distributed with, check Lo-bat.'s website. WARNING - complete chip musician nerd zone... LOL... Actually before I say that, Wauter [Lo-bat.] is a classically trained guitarist at some amazing school in Belgium AND a brilliant cartoonist.
You know it is going to be a good day when a YouTube video lands in your inbox from a mate in Denver miming a long to Betty Boop. Meet Sara T! I also received a random text from my sister [also called Sara] about contracting BV [gardnerella - ergh poor thing].
In fact, I might call my sister for a chat right now.
I'm sitting here listening to the the thunderstorm outside wondering what to put on to go and vote. Then I'm meeting Venom at the Tabby Cat Lounge at 9pm for anyone who wants to come along for a shankfest.
This video is not suitable for minors, people who are a bit lightweight, or anyone who cant watch operations on TV.
It is seriously the GROSSEST THING EVER.
Someone's Aunty removed a subcutaneous cyst from the neck of their nephew THEN POST IT ON YOUTUBE. WTF I don't know. After the blackhead video from a few posts ago I was talking it over with someone on AIM and I decided I needed to know what actually a cyst. So I start to check it out. I regret ever searching for this kind of stuff.
* I NEARLY FAINTING WATCHING THIS - I HAD TO GO AND SIT ON THE SOFA WITH MY HEAD BETWEEN MY KNEES NO WORD OF A LIE * THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I EVER HAD TO CLOSE A BROWSER WINDOW [admittedly it was right at the end after they had to tug at the cyst and hack the last bits off with a blade] * 2 GIRLS 1 CUP IS A WALK IN THE PARK If you are too feel woosey already here is the brief synopsis - a Mexican guy with tattoos over his neck has a giant cyst in the back of his neck and balls of stuff that look like chewed up wads of gum come out with every squeeze of the fingers of his loving Aunty. LIKE WADS OF CHEWED UP CHEWING GUM
GROSS GROSS GROSS
Watch with caution.
Not only cause it is gross, but because you may develop an addiction like me to check out more of these kind of videos. I'm not going to post any more on my blog I promise BUT there was one guy who post a video and story about the cyst on his face that he popped, [from his post:] "It ended up getting infected, and my stepdad, who's a doctor, gave me the leftover antibiotics from the dog, cause I don't have any health insurance. They didn't really help and a few days later my face got TOTALLY infected. I could barely open my right eye cause it was so swollen and the muscles in the right side of my face wouldn't work. I ended up with a REALLY bad staph infection, and had to be put on the strongest antibiotics you can get without going to the hospital and getting an IV."
It's here if you really need to see it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CaCSPhXZwU
Anyway - this is the last that I will say on the matter. Cause I actually am very squeamish.
As I have said many times before - Ramiro sends me the best YouTube videos.
This one I found on my own. Listen to the obsessions of the people involved.
I am now going to go an puke in a bucket for about three hours. 2 Girls 1 Cup might be more explicit, but in terms of grossness, it has NOTHING on this cause this cannot be faked. It is like 2000 VICE magazine gross jars rolled into one video.
I had dinner at Anne's house in Berlin once. We had fish and potatoes. She played a record that was just one sonic tone for about 3 minutes and told us it was her idea of a pop song. I was very curious about her house that was covered in post it notes labelling everything with it's German name. I am still curious about Anne.
And before I knock off for the evening, I will leave you all with a touch of class. The Hot 8 Brass Band with a track from the classiest man on earth, Ess Enn Ohh Ohh Pee Dee Ohh Double Gee.
And if I might also suggest you check out this fat black men huffing and puffing their way with their ever so excellent embrasure* to Sexual Healing.
xx Lektrogirl
* FYI for those of you who don't know, I learnt the euphonium and French horn as a child. And the piano and the cello.
Max and I are OBSESSED with this song. Whenever I have a wee when I am visiting Max, we play this or 'Get Ready' by Carol Hitchcock cause Max weirds would when he can hear people pissing.
So I made a new video - this time of Pippa's band All About Eve Babitz. One night they performed at Paul Gorman's Lost Society party and Superduck and I filmed it. And another night I chased Pippa around Soho and then left it a few months. Finally yesterday I edited it all together.
This is my favourite All About Eve Babitz song. And I am really pleased with the video. I was on the phone to Superduck last night while he was stuffing envelopes at his high flying desk job and he told me that to edit the video's we shot together would be easy. I didn't tell him that I was actually trying to sync the live performance to an MP3 studio track and that the songs were at different tempos. FYI Nick Abrahams. Then he went on to tell me about bee keeping in Iceland.
