KYLIE MINOGUE 2 HEARTS

All through this video I expected to see clouds of talc coming out of Kylie's hair all over the piano - a fucking powdered wig from the back of Aunt Sally's broom closet. The skull microphone? Fuck me. What a travesty.


And when I first saw this I thought Mutya had rejoined the Sugababes for one last cover song until I realised this was a task from the Big Brother house. Charley does a good impersonation of Kylie whoring herself out there on stage striving to put as much inner thigh on show as possible.

ONE FOR THE LADIES

Last night I couldn't help but feel a bit sheepish about the amount of fun I was having with three other girlfriend's in a restaurant talking about men and the similarities to that TV show Sex In the City with the horse faced once that I never really got into.

Oh how we laughed!!

Look - no fillings! [and a VINTAGE milk fed t-shirt FYI for anyone who knows anything]

This is my cacking myself at Sarah Lee [who is an amazing photographer who does a lot of stuff for the shop] who can't throw signs with ease - but she is very good and making shadow puppets of dogs who could adopt the personality of various past lovers from Pippa, Jasmine and I. My lord - we laughed till we cried telling each other the calls from the vinegar strokes: Sarah told of a man who said "It's coming" in the same tone of voice as Prince Charles when he saw a really ugly building. I told of a man who said "There you go" when he shot his load, but I also heard him use the same phrase on the phone to his mother when then were cracking each other up! Jasmine had a fella say "I've got a surprise for you". Pippa was more of a lady about divulging her tales but the ladylike behaviour dropped to the wayside when she cackled at the rest of our stories. We also discussed size, impotency and a variety of other men's health problems [their brains...] But I can't divulge more. Cause that would be telling.

We ate at a restaurant of Sarah's choice - a tapas place in Mornington Crescent.

I've been a bit lax photographing things lately but I remembered to take a photo of our food after it was mostly finished. I ordered roast beetroot with onions and chestnuts, fennel with spinach and pinenuts and chicory salad. I nicked a lot of Sarah's chorizo and she nicked all the pine nuts.

Pippa named her sardines Sylvia and Little Joe. No surprise then that she couldn't eat the fish named after her son...


We weren't even drunk but we spent ages taking pictures of ourselves with these brooches. All the amazing ones - of people looking horrendous had to be deleted but there were some real corkers! What is actually unbelieveable about this is that I sat there doing possibly the most retarded thing I've done in ages and I was missing CSI and Law and Order at home. Thank god I made it back for Criminal Minds!!

And today I have a lot of web work to try and do for Maria, and mountain of laundry and sorting my house out. If anyone wants to come and clean the floors - they need mopping - I'll pay them £20 for an hours work.

xx Lektrogirl

HAHAH AHAHHAHA HAHA!!!

I was talking to the hottest photographer I know today and was telling him that Nameless has a new girlfriend. At first he didn't believe me and he was saying "What that one that dances with her boyfriend identically - that you see them bobbing their heads identically??! Like exactly the same?" And when he finally realised I wasn't joking, he wooped out "Ohhhh FUCK BRAINS MAN!! He's going bald anyway!!!!!"

I laughed til I nearly choked.

Thanks photographer friend. You really really made my day.

xx Lektrogirl