Saturday, 31 January 2009

I LOVE TO GOSSIP

Cold, bored, trying to keep myself busy with cooking, I stopped gossiping because I heard it was a bad thing to do. But I still kept hearing the gossip about who was banging who cause their flat mate overheard it and spread it around, and who was finally getting sex at last, who got cornered and got earful all about how horrid I am and who was pricking who out etc. I also stopped talking to much to my ex husband who was always great with the juice - but his source dried up when he stopped talking to someone else over too much gossip and bitch talk... LOL. So - the world goes on it seems as hypocritical as ever which is fine by me cause now I have less of a guilty conscience. But fuck I'm bored.



I wasn't on Thursday when I met Antoinette for lunch at Leila's Shop in East London. She sent me a great diss text while she was waiting for me that read "Did I just see you walk past with a pink bag and bottle of water." LOL. Pink bag & bottle of water? I might as well have had a yoga mat as well.

No way.



But she did see me eat some eggs straight from the pan and some beetroot and horseradish and drink three coffees.

AND WE HAD A GREAT GOSSIP.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 30 January 2009

THE BOOYAH COOK: BROAD BEAN RISONI



Many years ago God created earth, humans, rocks, animals, houses and Google. When He put everything here, we were all the same. Then suddenly some people starting thinking for themselves. God said "Don't Eat The Apple" but Eve made Adam eat the apple. God cast them out of the Garden of Eden for being Vegetarians. Fast-forward to the year 2009 and like the rest of us, even God has chilled out and reconsidered some of his first ideas. Vegetarians live peacefully amongst us thinking up one thousand and one things to do with tofu. Sometimes as cooks, we have to come up with nice dishes that don't look they came out of some Earth Mother's armpit that both regular people and Vegetarians can all "break bread" with one another and feast at the same table. This is why today I am presenting in The Booyah Cook series "Minted Broad Bean Risoni" that can be an accompaniment to something like roast lamb or chicken [yum!] or on it's one in a smorgasbord of salads. Or if you are a student, have it just on it's own but substitute all the green stuff for broccoli and the risoni for rice as per usual.

Here is the list of ingredients:
1 tablespoon of olive oil
500 grams of broad beans
3/4 cup of risoni
4 green onions / spring onions whatever you call them, sliced thinly
2/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh flat leaf parsley
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons lemon juice - use fresh not squeezy lemon. IMPORTANT.

Initial tips:
All this stuff you can buy at Marks and Spencer or Waitrose more readily that other places. See this recipe already smells of quality.
Risoni is a small rice shaped pasta. It is also available in Turkish shops. [i.e cheap]



First things first, get your broad beans, put them in a heavy saucepan or a ceramic bowl that you can cover with a dinner plate, and tip boiling water straight from the kettle on them. Cover and leave to stand for 10 minutes. Drain them and wait for them to cool down. After that is done, you have to peel the greyish outer shell from the bean. Anticipating that this was going to be fucking boring, I decided to use a mixture of baby garden peas and broad beans so that I only had to peel 250 grams worth. Not just a pretty face.

Cook the risoni like the side of the risoni packet tells you. Rinse under cold water when you drain it.

Then get your favourite saucepan. [Mine is still my Le Creuset one even though I nearly killed it with a freestyle Lamb and Honey Moroccan stew I made the other day that burned almost dry. But that is another story.]

Put the oil and the onions on a low heat and wait till the bit of onion go a bit soft. Add the cold risoni and the beans / peas / sugar snap peas / whatever [NOT LENTILS] til everything warms up together again. Add all the herbs [these don't have to be exact measurement BTW. A big handful of parsley and a slightly smaller one of mint would be accurate enough] and lemon juice.

Eat. Or leave it and eat it cold.



Here it is.

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Wednesday, 28 January 2009

TRUE BEAUTY


Elizabeth, originally uploaded by stripper_polaroids.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

CHINESE AUSTRALIA DAY

Here is a quick photo diary from the Chinese New Year Australia Day celebrations at work on Monday.

Nat announces herself "the token aboriginal" [HER words NOT mine!] while she decorates reception with the flags she made painting with cotton buds and face wipes cause she didn't have any paint brushes.



Sam scoffs a few Twisties after we lay out the Aussie part of the spread - the majority of which was junk food.



Barbecue Shapes, Cheezles, Twisties, Larks Distillery Apple Liqueur [that we drank in Cava], Tim Tams, Cherry Ripes, ANZAC biscuits [as featured in The Booyah Cook], Milo and Lamingtons.



Kingaroo made Chicken and Black bean, Noodles and Spare Ribs and some other stuff that I can't remember. Some of the best ribs I ever had.



And here I am [as photographed by Sam] scoffing an ANZAC in front of our celebratory display.



A shame I didn't get a picture of Hayley accepting the Australian Souvenir Tea Towel which was my present to the office for accepting an Australian into the fold or of Lauren who was dressed in her Chinese dressing gown for most of the afternoon as part of the celebration.

xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 26 January 2009

U.B.M: JOHAN HINDERS Edition #2

Hiya! Phwaor. I have just cooled down after the last edition of my Ultimate Babe Material featuring Teki Latex [so sexual] but I could feel the primal urges of my readers starting to rev up again. This time, the U.B.M. I am delivering to you is a Swedish guy, in a band, long hair, free spirit, vodka drinking in the forest, like yerrr sexual hipster and you know, he is also Fé. Fé is like the female side of him, if he had a twin sister but she was never born and what there is of her body still sits inside of him [his words not mine!] Johan is the guy you hang out with when you feel hemmed in, when you want to set yourself free, when you want to build bonfires and build things because with Johan he makes you feel like anything is possible and with a bottle of vodka in your hand you just don't give a fuck. Definitely something for the EMO in all of us!

So may I introduce for your sexual pleasure JOHAN HINDERS!


Errr... Babe!

Johan is a prolific musician and is/was a member of a number of bands: 1999, Midi Metal, Appareil and part of a group called Audionom. And then this personality Fé. So before we go further, here is the most recent video from Fé for a song called "Heaven and Earth".



Johan: Hi! this is my answers! ask me about if anything is unclear. My spelling and gramma is not best.


Fé and friend

Me: This first question is a bit more difficult than normal because I am interested in you as Johan Hinders and as Fé. How would you describe your personal style? What is the inspiration for Fé?

Johan: Fé’s personal style is depending on her stylists. But usually we working with the idea of a seventeen year old alternative extrovert girl, who may be intrested in and consume subcultures like goth and manga etc for an example. Johan Hinders was originally a club kid and may be a typically guy from underground scene?


Johan as club kid "Raise your glasses" and FIERCE lipstick on stylist Sara

Me: I know we talked on Facebook about it before, but I don't know how to explain about Fé as a female or a male cross dresser or what?

Johan: Fé is a art project and could be described as my inner fem. Fé should be my collided twin sister. So its not a cross dress project in a sexual meaning.



Me: What do you think makes a girl look hot?



Johan: Girls who look like dolls actually: Long legs, Big eyes, Big red mouth etc. A personal style is important. And of course the behavior.

Me: Who are the girls that do your make up as Fé? Have you learnt any secret beauty tricks?

Johan: I have four make up artists who I use to help me, three women and one man: Aurelia Le Houche, Tanya Byrne, Sara Litzén and Tommie X. No I think its their job. I'm not so interested in learning make up. I if I did it myself I think its risk that it would became too personal.



Me: You do fashion modelling as Fé - do you do any male modelling?

Johan: Yes I do some male modelling as Johan Hinders. Mostly fashion. I did a work for a Swedish magazine in November: bonmagazine.com [shitty flash website & no direct link] and I did a lot of modelling when I was younger in the mid nineties.



Me: What's your idea of a good date?

Johan: A girl I like and LOTS of Vodka!


Performing with 1999

Me: Obviously everyone who reads my blog will want to marry you by now, are you single?

Johan: No, I m dating one of my make up artists, Sara.

[oh shit... sorry guys... misery...]



Me: Your song Heaven and Earth is pretty sad and reminds me of all my Goth friends from when I was a teenager who used to listen to Under The Milkyway by The Church. Do you know that song? Cause I noticed you have the Donny Darko pic on your MySpace profile and that song is on the sound track.


Pricks at YouTube deleted the audio. Fuck.

Actually I don't know why I am going on about this song so much, but to me that there seems to be some connection between this song and your sound. What do you think? I mean, how do your describe your musical sound?

Johan: I had never herd the song before you showed it for me. I really liked it though! And I understand what you mean too. It is some smilarity between the songs.
My musical sound is inspirated of New wave, old dance music like techno from early nineties, space rock like Hawkwind, goth and very much of Brian Eno and Kate Bush. I m also inspirated of Baroque music like Bach.



Me: You also have written you like Amon Duul II. My favourite track is "Arcangel Thunderbird" and the bit where she sings really off. Do you have any favourite tracks?

Johan: My favorite song is "Wolf City" from the record with the same name wich also is my favorite record and "From here to your ears" from "Dance of the Lemmings". The album "Yeti" is almost too far out. And the records from 1975 and forward is often really bad.


On the left in the band 1999.

Me: You are also in other bands as well as performing solo. How do you find time to do all this stuff?

Johan: Im also studying Archaeology, working as a library assistant, and in the health caring sector and with light engineering etc. I'm also helping my father with his ex farm in the countryside of northern Sweden and taking care of my thirteen year old son Eldar. Well I guess I don’t like to do nothing. When I was small I was often ill and had to do nothing all the time. That's really boring! I m not watching TV so often either. TV is really boring!



Me: Okay and finally, most people come to my blog to read about me and my life. So to keep things on point, what do you think about me?

Johan: I think you are cool! I don´t know you, but you seem to be a really engaged person who runs many interesting projects! :) [Me: I don't think I do quite as much as Johan tho'. God - I had no idea!!]

And so there you have it - U.B.M. Edition #2 JOHAN HINDERS - a cool guy with 4 of his own make-up artists!! I wonder how many KISS had?!! And I don't really know how to sum Johan up in one paragraph, so instead I will use this photograph I found on one of his profile pages. If a picture speaks 1000 words, there is more than enough to be learnt about Johan, or maybe not.



And of course - Johan can be web stalked with all the usual web browsers...

Until next time!!

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. As usually apologies to everyone who's pictures I have ripped off from all over the place. If you have a problem with it, please let me know.

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AN NEW ENTRANT

Chilli Philli and I have a widely known hate hate relationship that ends in virtual death everytime we get online. Now Pippa has joined the competition...



Poor L'il Chilli Philli. She KILLED him.

xx Lektrogirl

JUST CASUAL


April 1962 hairdo, originally uploaded by myvintagevogue.

Seriously look at the hair!!

Sunday, 25 January 2009

LAMEATNAMES HAS GUEST: AKROE

For the first time, V and I have let someone else have their selection of pictures on our online amateur porn site, lameatnames.com

Akroe lives and works in Paris. He is a graphic designer, has been the art director for electro/hip hop label Institubes, collaborates closely with Sixpack. He was given carte blanche for a month by the department store Galeries Lafayette, designing the windows of the flagship store in Paris. His work is frequently exhibited, in France and abroad. There are two Akroe monographs published by Pyramyd, in its Design&Designer series.



He sent us a gang of pictures, but we only used a about a dozen. He thanked us and asked we send back the ones we didn't use. He also said it is clear he needed to work more on his style. He asked for some pointers in what makes lameatnames porn. I gave them to him. Let's hope his next contribution is better. For the meantime you can see his NSFW contribution here on lameatnames.com.

Also, here are some examples of Akroe's work:







Or you can check his whole portfolio here on www.akroe.net

And no, we don't want your pictures. This isn't an invitation for you to start sending us stuff cause like I started off by saying: we really don't want them.

Only sometimes it will happen that we will be interested to receive someone's collection of pictures, and if there are enough good ones, we will post them for you all to check out.

Please don't be offended that it works like this. We just don't want to get bombarded with more of the same shit we already filter through to find what we consider beautiful enough for the lameatnames gallery.

xx Lektrogirl

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THE BOOYAH COOK: ANZACS



So as I described in my previous post, we are having a party at work and I needed to make some Anzac Biscuits. I thought I would take the opportunity to use it as my first in my other new blog item "The Booyah Cook". This segment will focus on easy recipes which are pretty booyah.

So, here is the recipe*:

Anzac Biscuits Recipe

My sister and I grew up with this particular recipe. It never made 48. We would also sometimes use muesli instead of oats cause we liked sultana and dried apricot in it. It is a pretty freestyle kind of thing. Probably chopped blanched almonds would be good.



There are no eggs or milk in the recipe just a hunk of butter and a gang of golden syrup. Golden Syrup - SO GOOD. These biscuits would have to last in tins from Australia and NZ to the soldiers in the trenches. I don't know how they survived the journey but they did. If anyone knows the chemistry on that please let me know. BUT melting the butter and the golden syrup is the only 'fancy' thing to do.

[In a side note, Grissom left the CSI lab for good, only to trek off into the forest in Costa Rica to sneak up on Sarah Sidle and they have a huge big romantic pash. Not only is it gross because he is all beardy weirdy with a sweaty paunch, but it is also funny cause she is a lesbian in real life. Obviously this highlights her as a great actor though because she can also play 'straight'.]



Basically for Anzac biscuits you get all the ingredients and moosh them together into this and put it out on trays. Then you shove them in the oven for about 12 minutes and they come out a bit like this:



My oven was running a little hot but it is so tricksy I can't turn it down without it turning itself off. Even so the end result??!!

BOOYAH!!

xx Lektrogirl

* Please note: this recipe uses AUSTRALIAN measures. Fuck knows how it is that UK, US and AU measure can all be different but they all are.

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AUSTRALIA DAY

Tomorrow it is Australia Day. Just to make it confusing, it is almost already Australia Day back in Australia. Australia Day commemorates the the arrival of the First Fleet in 1788. It was decided by the British that new penal colonies needed to be sought after the Brits lost colonies in North America. Some Aboriginal people call it Invasion Day and burn flags, but some also call it Survival Day cause they recognise that the indigenous people and their culture were not completely wiped out by the British. It is all a bit confusing. I am all a bit confused cause I have spent my whole adult life living in London - that will be 14 years in May - British or Australian sometimes I don't know.

Tomorrow is also the start of the Chinese New Year. So at work in a double celebration we are going to have a big feast for both days in one. My contribution will be ANZAC Biscuits [oh my favourite story is of Simpson and his donkey] and some Apple Liqueur from Larks Distillery in Hobart. King is cooking barbecue spare ribs!! Hayley is having a go at Lamingtons, Sam is bringing in crap from the Australia shop. The Australian and Chinese have enjoyed a really wonderful relationship from the 1850’s in the gold rush when the Chinese came to try their luck and scalped for their efforts. In later years, the Chinese were branded under some “White Australia Policy” as “The Yellow Peril”. The relationship has grown to be more fruitful and positive however with influences of Chinese cuisine and culture to the Australian landscape being very dear to many Australian’s hearts. You only need to go check out China Town in Sydney to see it stretches for blocks with some AMAZING restaurants. We don’t do number 10’s and a special fried rice there. Real Aussies know the difference between Pak Choi, Choi Sum and Bok Choi.

Anyway, my personal secret favourite place to go for a little but of homesickness relief - and I have to say those days are fewer and further apart - I always go into Milkbar on Bateman Street for a Soya Latte and sometimes scrambled eggs or toasted Turkish bread and Vegemite. As illustrated below:



God - Turkish bread and Vegemite - there is a paradox when you think what happened at Gallipoli! But please note the amount of Vegemite applied to the bread. That is how you do it. No more. Or it is HORRIBLE.

Milkbar is the only place in London that makes a good coffee with soya milk. [Well Milkbar and Flat White on Berwick Street of course cause they are run by the same people.] I also prefer Milkbar cause it is less crowded. My only criticism - and I am sure Pippa will join me on this - is that the sweet treat selection does leave something to be desired. I'm tired of cupcakes and never really been one for flapjacks. In the days of Maison B I would run up the road to get the coffees in and she would run upstairs to the patisserie for something sweet.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 24 January 2009

COCKTAIL OF CHOICE


Cocktail of Choice, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Well here is another new feature which I hope will become regular on my blog now that my cocktail cabinet is getting full of alcohol rather than just teacups, records and letters I never opened.

So the other night was dinner at The Cardinals. We decided to attempt mixing the cocktail pictured which I first had at Wild Honey on St George Street. I can't remember what they called it, but I call it the 3C down to the list of ingredients.

3C RECIPE
2/3 lid of Campari
Juice of 1.5 Clementines
Fill the glass with chilled Cava or Prosecco

It is a very fresh taste and not too fruity. Nice for Winter I think could be a goer for all year round with mandarins or whatever is on. Personally I would have been a little heavier handed with the Campari but The Cardinal was calling the shots and I was just on duty as the mixer. We both thought it would be a nice idea to zest the rim of the glass to make the drink more fragrant.

After polishing of a few of these each, we switch to Courvoisier and Prosecco.

The following day I felt like death while I had to race around after my boss who was off to Kenya. Things were better again when I passed out on the sofa at 9pm the following night.

xx Lektrogirl

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SELF OBSESSED


, originally uploaded by Lina Scheynius.

And here I am again just chilling in the bath as hot and sexual as I am.

xx Lektrogirl

Monday, 19 January 2009

DISSED BY A 6


like a cat in a bag, originally uploaded by fkb3000.

Tonight I was on the phone to Pippa's slightly elder son Duke, 6 year old twin of Joe, who said to me cocky as you please: If you want a boyfriend, JUST GO OUT AND GET ONE!

Got my nails done. Had scrambled eggs at Milkbar on Bateman Street and a soy flattie. Then a soy latte. Next level on all counts. A great day off.

xx Lektrogirl

Sunday, 18 January 2009

ARTS ROUND UP: ZURICH

Every since the trip to Zurich at the end of last year I have been meaning to tell you some of the things I saw in the galleries there and of course as time has passed, more things have arrived in my inbox of an art world note that I have wanted to include on the blog. So:

KAREN KILIMNIK
At Galerie Eva Presenhuber was one of Kilimnik's installations full of drawings, paintings, sculpture, photographs and a video piece. The subject matter of her works were landscapes, castles, pedigree dogs and horses all things dear to my heart. For me, walking into the room, I felt like I had entered somebody else's castle of fantasy with only half the story of their life available for interpretation to try and work out the character of the person who had created all these things.



Was it a teenager deeply in love? An ironic hipster? Sometimes I wondered if really she could do better but was pretending that she couldn't. At the same time though to illustrate that kind of naivety resulted in some great images.

LUKAS WASSMANN
This was an exhibition of photography that we discovered by accident in Zurich as we walked along the Limmatstrasse to the Migros Museum at a place called BolteLang. The photographs which I think were mostly colour were pretty easy to describe - it was a large number of photos of Wassmann's muse and collaborator, dancer Eva Maria Kupfer.

What I found more interesting were the collection of books of his other work and commissioned photography for selected clients.



Anyway - Google him and check his website. There are loads more images and also he has a great links list.

IAN WALLACE
This exhibition was so horrible it made me really angry and throw acid in my own face. Super boring work from a nondescript looking man and just when I thought it was all over I turned a corner and there was more of it!

HEAD TO HEAD - POLITICAL PORTRAITS
At the Museum of Design was the best.
"Head to Head - Political Portraits" shows the communicative patterns that politicians - no matter whether they are currently in a campaign or long since in office - use to curry favor with the electorate. The exhibition offers insight into visual strategies for image making, gaining prestige, and demolishing opponents.
Four personalities from world politics - Lenin, Che Guevara, Yulia Tymoshenko, and Arnold Schwarzenegger - were selected to be presented in greater detail in this exhibition because of their iconographic significance.
In addition, several contributions from artists shed light on aspects of the political portrait that have never been seen in this way before. The paintings of the presidents of Zurich’s cantonal government are also being exhibited publicly for the first time, along with dozens of official portraits from heads of states from every continent that were made available especially for this project. The affirmative world of politicians is mirrored in biting satire and demolition.
"

A shame I can't find any decent picture of it. Seeing all the similarities in the image making from around the world in the political election posters and all the weirdo 'caring but strong leader smiles', the crazy hair styles of Yulia Tymoshenko and old body building posters of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The old Nazi posters were kind of chilling and there was some of the propaganda too that was dropped from planes over Germany at the time of WWII.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 17 January 2009

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW

One of the things I did appreciate when I was in America was the highest level of customer service. Nothing was ever too much for the store assistance and they were never OTT. Unlike the Australian guy in Wild Honey the other day when I had lunch [sliced veal and green sauce, oxtail ossobuco ravioli and vacharin all washed down with a prosecco, clementine and Campari cocktail FYI.] He started to talk to me in posh Double Bay speak "What have WE got planned for the weekend? Are WE doing anything nice?" Urgh drove me insane. He ended up telling me about how he had been "Washing his smalls" on Tuesday...

So back to the customer service. This week I got some new glasses. Well I got two pairs cause I couldn't decide. I went to this place called Spex In The City on Shorts Gardens in Covent Garden kind of on a whim - but also cause they had a fireplace in there which looked nice. I want to tell the whole world that not only am I so happy that I DO NOT look like I went to Specsavers any more, but I received some of the best customer service I have had in London for a long long time.

Gillian Caplan [FBDO] is the optician at Spex In The City. Horrible website, brilliant independent optician with loads of choice and stuff you don't see everywhere else. I went in and said that I like wearing glasses and I don't mind looking like a nerd and that I like things that are quite severe and cartoon character like. Then for as long as I wanted, Gillian was making me try on everything in the shop having a good laugh at all the stuff she thought would fit the description, and of course would be the right shape for my eyes and the prescription. I now know what exactly what my prescription means and all the measurements that go into it.



This is the first pair I got - a Japanese brand called Yellow Plus. I like them cause they look like German lesbian glasses from the 70's and they look vintage but they weren't perched on the nose of some woman with a moustache when she carked it [Dead people's clothes yes, but not on my face.] They will look great with satiny evening dresses, fancy hair-dos and pretty things.



These are French and made by Bruno Chaussignand. The Cardinal said they made me look like Nana Mouskouri. Personally, I don't think that is a bad thing. But I think the first pair I chose were more Nana. This glasses are for when I want to pretend I am a Swiss New Media artist or Danish furniture designer and are for wearing with denim and desert boots.

Anyway - whatever ridiculous stories I concoct in my head to get myself dressed in the morning and justify my face - it cannot be argued that Spex In The City is one of the best independent boutiques in London and the best optician I ever went to. I also told Gillian I would recommend her store and service to everyone I know.

If you do ever drop by, tell her hi from me - but I suspect it won't be long before I am back getting my sunglasses all changed to prescription lenses cause I know the frames will be in good hands.

xx Lektrogirl

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LASER CAT

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AMERICAN SPORTING LIFE

I hardly care about Aussie Rules, and only like Arsenal cause I live in that area. But I used to have an American husband [well I still do cause the chump still hasn't taken the papers in court... the most constipated procedure of my life!] and he taught me like a chant which teams were my favourite.

Baseball: St Louis Cardinals
Football: St Louis Rams
Ice Hockey: St Louis Blues
Basketball: He said I could have Utah Jazz

I don't mind because even though St Louis sucked major cock when I went there, Chicago was a lot worse. So the decision made for me sat pretty easy. Also, all the uniforms for the different teams are pretty nice colours.

The only reason why I say this is cause today The Cardinal and I went to Le Péché Mignon for a croque and coffee - check out our desserts:


The chocolate and orange one was banging but the lemon one was a total KILLER.

After having a total maximum gossip we went to the second hand shop and I found a Los Angeles Rams collared shirt for £3. I was so pleased cause I have an LA Rams Starter jacket already and the colours are super nice. And cause the Rams are one of my teams, I feel a bit nostalgic for them. The Rams were in Los Angeles from 1946 to 1994 [concurrent with the LA Raiders before they went back to Oakland] and then they moved to St Louis. Yeah well, it is really NBD but I mega into it.

Check out the LA Rams Rap...


Thank God the Raiders had NWA...


The Miami Dolphins might be the winner?


xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 14 January 2009

FANTASY COME TRUE

OMG this has to be one of the most exciting days of my life! Today I have to go to The Royal Courts of Justice on The Strand and make an appearance.

First of all I was walking across Lincoln's Fields at a time I would usually still be in bed and got to see all the morning things I usually dont: screwed up raspberries still fresh on the pavement before the pigeons got them and men in boring suits carrying briefcases. Not a lot to miss out on but the fresh air was great.


Cause I had to dress like a dweeb, here is part of my underwear that made me feel better.

Then I got to the courts and had to go through a security check like at the airport. And then I guess I was overcome by everything and had to go and do a poo. So TMI you may say but relevant to the story. As grand as the building is, the toilets we not up to par - untidy, ill equipt. Really poor form. I mean there actally toilets in there but you know where you have those dreams where you walk into the basement somewhere looking for the toilet and its all damp and full of weirdos and the doors don't shut - or maybe that is just my version of the going to school in your pyjamas dream.

So anyway I was looking for my case on the boards and couldn't see it. I spoke to two incredibly stupid women who couldn't help me and I spoke to one incredibly smart man who could. I'm now in apostrophe checking out all the solicitors having morning coffee meeting before appearing. None of them are hot. Which goes to show that even on TV in all the cop shows there is an element of truth in their depiction of the legal system - solicitors and lawyers are never hot - it is the detectives and CSI's that are the babes.

Xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 12 January 2009

U.B.M: TEKI LATEX Edition #1

Hello everyone and welcome to my new blog section U.B.M. which is ULTIMATE BABE MATERIAL.

That is, I am going to interview the Ultimate Babe's - guys that are hot and sexy. I would call it U.Boyfriend.Material but in fact, a lot of these guys are just trouble so not good boyfriend material at all. [Even though that is how most of us like it.] Instead these are guys that you would wanna roll with in a car listening to Regulate by Warren G on a sunny day in shorts, a shitty t shirt and sunglasses. So as a kind of pre selection process for you before you start MySpace stalking - read on to find out what they think about the most important things in life: Music, Love, Fashion and of course, what they think about Me. Cause it is my blog after all.

Let me introduce for your private pleasures TEKI LATEX!



Teki Latex is one of four guys in a French Hip Hop / Dance group called TTC. If you want to find out all about them, Google away although I read in the paper today that two Google searches equate to the same energy used to make a cup of tea. But def worth the Google and equally as satisfying as a cup of tea cause all the guys are U.B.M. and TTC makes BANGING music. Teki is also a DJ, released his own solo album with people like Gonzales and Lio. He is also definitely Ultimate Babe Material.

Me: We talked once about Armand Van Helden being one of your style icons. I even went out and bought a red hat just like your purple one. How would you describe your personal style?

Teki: I'm not sure about Armand van Helden being a style icon but nobody can deny he knows how to rock his orange. Not so many people can get away with wearing so much orange. [N.B. He did actually say that about A.V.H. once and considering how wasted I was I'm surprised I remember.]
My personal style? Nowadays it's somewhere between preppy chic and streetwear mutating into elegant sportswear. The swagger of the penguin in batman mixed with the human embodiment of the Ralph Lauren teddy bear.



Me: You are often photographed with hot girls in clubs. What do you think is a hot look for girls right now?

Teki:The polo player style, the disco-schoolgirl style, and high heels, always. [N.B. That's me out as I always opt for lesbian shoes...]

Me: Your body type is not like Mark Wahlberg in the 1992 Calvin Klein ads, yet you emit more sexual hotness that him by like 200%. What are your secrets?

Teki: Girl notice me when I'm around, I make them laugh and they feel safe when they're next to me. And whenever I get inside the club I'm official, I'm the fucking mayor. They wanna get to hang out with the mayor, they wanna know more about the mayor, they wanna go further than the public image and delve into my complex artistic mind. Basically I'm just being my lazy egocentric twisted self and it comes out as something sexy.


What a totally spiritually sexual tummy!!

Me: So what happened with your album Electronic [which I play all the time BTW] - did everyone get over the fact they thought you couldn't sing and realise that what you make is Premium Pop Joy?!

Teki: my album is called Party De Plaisir, [Ooops... bad form on my part...] Electronic is just one of the songs. I don't know what happened with that album, some people hated it some people loved it but overall it brought a lot of good stuff, I managed to get a song on heavy rotation on French radio, and it brought me a lot of exposure so it's all good.



Me: And for the record - tell us: In your opinion how hot is Lio?

Teki: She's the definition of grown and sexy. She knows how to walk on the fine line between pop sexiness and cute soft core eroticism.



Me: Obviously all my readers will probably want to marry you by now, are you single?

Teki: currently single



Me: Describe an ideal date?

Teki: do you mean the girl or how the date should go?
The girl= Fun, intelligent but not trying too hard to impress me with intellectual stuff. Hot, kinky, charismatic but NOT CHEESY.
The actual rendez vous= If I had time and a bit more money I'd tell the girl to throw a couple of dresses in a bag, I'd pick her up, take her to the airport, go straight to New York with her, take her to a musical on Broadway, then a nice romantic hotel suite to have cheeseburgers, spend the next day shopping and the next night partying and then get back home right in time for Monday morning.


Russia wouldn't be bad either? Is that where that is?

Me: You also told me once that you believe in trashing hotel rooms, not giving a fuck about having kids, not really caring about the environment etc etc. Is there a serious and sensitive side to Teki Latex? You know, like, are you 'deep'?

Teki: I'm a serious and sensitive guy but when I'm with a girl I wanna hang out and watch Eddy Murphy movies, crack jokes, have good sex, good food, light hearted talks. When things get too serious and "deep" it turns out cheesy and it turns me off. And I'm mature enough to know that I'm way too selfish to have kids.


Definitely mature.

Me: Okay and finally, most people come to my blog to read about me and my life. So to keep things on point, what do you think about me?

Teki: I think I don't see you often enough in Paris, I think your finger licking skills are off the meter, I think you're hot and I wanna thank you for that "Love" tee shirt you once gave to me and which has brought me a considerable amount of luck with ladies on the days when I wore it.



So there you have it, Teki Latex, Paris' Number 1 Ultimate Babe Material. As French as fromage but definitely not cheesy. You can find him via all the usual 'girls best friend' ways - MySpace, Facebook, Flickr and YouTube [there is a great one of Teki in the bath] or seriously if you see him out at a club, go up and say Hi and tell him Lektrogirl sent you!!

U.B.M. Edition #2 will be online as soon as another specially selected man of talent / note / spirituality / gigantic sexual aura gets back to me. Also, if you got any special request on who I should check out get in touch!!!

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. All pics and videos ripped from all over the Internet. No offence to anyone and their right to copyright. Lemme know and I will do the right things.

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THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #21

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 10 January 2009 00:25
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: g'day, and g'day to you an'all. 1/4 to 11a.m. here, guess y'r in the scratch escaping from the cold and farkin snow?


That was a long and interesring e'mail, shagger. I like to read about your pursuits that haunt you dailySpecially about your mates who fall out about'usually' fuck all. Talking about cold, you'ld get a shock if you were home here, the Summer, HAS PASSED tASMANIA BY. The best we have had so far is 16 degrees C' Cold winds and rain, snow on the mountain, etc,etc.
Program on S.B.S. last night Secrets of the orgasm. So they built a see-thru plastic insert spectrum so you could look deep into her vagina. Supposedly looking for the 'G' spot. whatever the fark that is? Any way it did nothing for an aged 83 yr old, who'ld rather have a bowl of hot soup anyway.
Ain't that typical of public utilities, like they couldn't or wouldn't tell you over the blower how to change the farkin batteries. Oh no. you got to have a night school ticket and an electrician's certificate to change a battery. mate
Shower of faecal nobbies.
Sara and the family seemed to have had a fulsome festive season. G.F.luck to them. At least they didn't have to engage in solitary thoughts and on your own-ness. Though I think I might be glad if I tell myself the truth, because IO do find XXCENSOREDXX a bit hard to take. Thick as bricks. XXCENSOREDXX read a booki in(fiction that is)in his life gets on my tits. Specially if he beats me at chess. Young sAM AT6 YEARS PLAYS BETTER CHESS THAN i DID WHEN i WAS 10.Fuck the caps lock! He' could be a little champion the way he's going. learning to play.I f you hear a violent squeal over the oceans. you'll know the little fart has beaten his Grandpa? Makes you wonder, what is the worth of 70 odd years of experience when some bright spark comes up and digs a hole of defeat for you?
How's the Deutch going? Or has Le Langue Francois takenover? Hoe about a bit of low class Russian? "Yopt via match, ti chouyou garbati! You stuff yer mother yer hump backed prick!
SEE YA LATER MATE. i'LL SEND A SHORT TEXT TO TELL YOUTHE EMAIL IS IN YOUR COMP. i WAS GOING TO SAY BOX, BUT IT SEEMED IAPPROPRIATE!" those bloody caps lock agen. Sorry. I think the comp does it to annoy. Like the Red Duchess in Alice . The baby she was chucking pepper on 'only cried to annoy!
All the best kiddo. Don't know what we'ld talk about if you were here. Couldn't be worse than what I write on the comp?
Luv ex yer pa. XXXXX

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VOGUE 1946


Vogue 1946, originally uploaded by myvintagevogue.

I guess she isn't going to a car boot sale.

xx Lektrogirl

Sunday, 11 January 2009

CAT FIGHT


Cat Fight, originally uploaded by crossthisoff.

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SEE WHY I HATE PRIMARK

I made a crack last night to The Cardinal that I was aiming for Vintage Vogue but achieving something more like Help The Aged. I know I have A LOT of clothes but as smug as I am about my new Le Creuset casserole dish, I consciously didn't buy one thing last year from TOPSHOP and H&M and I bought some stuff from Primark on the Kilburn High Road between 1995 and 1997: a pair of grey tracksuit pants that I still use for painting and a navy pair of tracksuit paints that I think my ex husband took. Everything I own is vintage or junk whatever you want to call it for wherever, or from independent boutiques and preferably made within the EU. I will confess to COS. And when it comes to say goodbye to something I send it to my Mum or sister or take it in to the girls at work and see who wants what. Which at the end of the day leaves me with pretty clear conscience - though I still yearn for the red silk jersey ISSA dress I gave away.

I noticed today my friend Jessica had a link to this article on her FB [we used to work at Hamnett together]:

Disposable fashion: for sale, hardly worn, two million tonnes of clothes
As discount fashion stores flourish, second-hand clothes sellers and charities are drowning in cheap, low-quality textiles
Clothing for recycling and reusing arrives in huge piles at LMB in Canning Town , East London
Hannah Fletcher

In his textile recycling factory on the industrial outskirts of East London, Lawrence Barry wades across a floor feet-deep in other people's discarded clothing. Above him, precarious fabric dunes lean against the walls and reach up to the corrugated iron roof. The air is heavy with mothballs and the sweet, cloying stench of stale sweat.

There was a time, 58-year-old Barry says, when the clothes coming into his warehouse reeked of love, instead. “People used to buy a good-quality suit and that was it. That was their suit,” he says. “The clothes that ended up here were worn to death, treasured, loved.” Now the 100 workers at LMB Textile Recycling spend their days sorting through the detritus of our addiction to throwaway fashion - cheap, synthetic, often unworn, rarely loved. And Barry and his employees have unwittingly found themselves at the cutting edge of British eco-policy.

Textiles have never been a great concern for keen-to-be-seen-to-be-green governments that get more brownie points from an easy tonne of glass or paper. But the textile problem has become too vast to ignore.

In February the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) will launch a “sustainable clothing roadmap” to try to reduce the environmental impact of our clothes. In preparation, it has commissioned a series of studies in which the true extent of our shopping habit is revealed in stark detail.

In the past five years, with the rise of “value retailers” such as Primark, H&M and TK Maxx, and supermarket fashion ranges, the price of clothing in the UK has plummeted by up to 25 per cent. At the same time, the amount of clothes we buy has increased by almost 40 per cent to more than two million tonnes a year.

Instead of two annual seasons for clothes - winter and summer - we are now offered, and can afford, new apparel every few weeks. We buy fresh holiday wardrobes, which we wear for a fortnight. Our style icons are celebrities who are never seen in the same outfit twice. And as our high street stores reel from the credit crunch, still we are cashing in - packing out the shops, desperate for discounted clothes.

As a result, textiles have become the fastest-growing waste product in the UK. About 74 per cent of those two million tonnes of clothes we buy each year end up in landfills, rotting slowly (or not at all) in a mass of polyester, viscose and acrylic blends.

On a recent fact-finding trip to a waste-disposal site in Croydon, South London, MPs from the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Committee learnt that the proportion of textile waste to other rubbish at council tips across the country has risen from 7 per cent to 30 per cent in five years.

Staff at the tip call the problem “the Primark effect”. Less than ten miles away, in Central London, the budget retailer's 70,000sqft flagship store flogs piles of ever cheaper, ever more disposable clothes. Even in a year ending with the most severe economic downturn in recent history, Primark recorded a 21 per cent sales increase in 2007/08.

Meanwhile, the poor quality of our cheap fashion fixes has caused the bottom to drop out of the recycled textile industry. The value of recycled material has fallen by 71 per cent over the past 15 years. Factor in collection and sorting costs, and many rag dealers and charities, forced to find outlets for donations that are too shabby to sell in their shops, find themselves paying out to recycle.

Furthermore, far less second-hand clothing is recyclable in the first place - a mere 3.5 per cent of that looming two million tonnes, or just under a third of the paltry 13 per cent of waste textiles that are recovered through charities, textile banks and rag dealers each year. (The remaining 13 per cent - clothing neither recovered nor sent to landfill - is incinerated.)

Lawrence Barry is no eco-warrior. He came into the business to make money. But back then, the trade was built on recycling. “When I started I was recycling 90 per cent of the clothes that came through,” he says. “Today it's down to 30 per cent.”

He speaks wistfully of the hard-wearing, workaday fabrics of yesteryear - linsey-woolsey and gabardine. They may have been coarse and drab but they were natural products and enjoyed second lives as industrial wiping cloths, insulation and stuffing.

Today, about two thirds of the fibres, yarns and fabrics coming into the UK are synthetic. They are blended into every conceivable combination - sometimes rendering them dangerously flammable in the process - and are nearly impossible to pick apart after use. Barry's recycling figure of 30 per cent is the norm across the second-hand clothing industry.

Most of the remaining 70 per cent is sent abroad, to Africa and Eastern Europe, where a booming industry has grown up around our unwanted exports. Critics have long condemned the practice for distorting fragile markets in developing countries. The donating public, too, has sometimes found it difficult to reconcile the friendly image of charity shops with the necessarily hard-nosed businesses behind them.

But the problem is of our own making. We are offloading more and more clothing to charities and textile banks, but more and more of it is unsellable in the UK. A negligible 1.7 per cent of our annual clothing purchases will end up being sold second-hand in Britain, and on average charity shop sales account for just 10 per cent of a charity's income.

“The rise of discount clothing and a culture of discarding have led to a clear reduction in the quality of many donated textiles,” says David Moir of the Association of Charity Shops. “This has put some pressure on donated stock for sale.”

“We have noticed more and more cheap clothes coming in but we can't sell them in the shops,” agrees Rob McNeill, a spokesman for Oxfam. “Who would buy a second-hand Primark T-shirt for a quid when there's a Primark down the road selling them new and probably cheaper? We can't compete.”

If you read the article this far, and what to read the rest, go here.

Anyway I have a little hang over to get over, which I will do by watching a few episodes of Criminal Minds. Then I will post some pics from last night and of my cooking adventures.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 10 January 2009

THIS IS WHY IM LATE



I saw this Cardinal and now I'm late. But I had a good laugh. And you probably just had another glass of wine without me. See you in a minute. The canelles were a fucking disaster. New oven needed. They were perfect on the outside, raw in the middle like omelette.

xx Lektrogirl

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BEAUTIFUL CAT


OO, originally uploaded by kaupoi.

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WAITING FOR THE MIRACLE

From the website of photographer Olga Chernysheva:

According to Ernst Unger "Life consists of a miracle…"

This photo-series is shot in an attempt to free an everyday view.

Usual, familiar images become mysterious and magnetic. They urge the spectator to see the state, but not the objects themselves. In their loneliness, isolation, dignity and natural self-sufficiency these images are, in fact, a striving for beauty. They are directed toward future.









There is more of these pictures here.

Today I was lying in bed and I saw a spider crawling up the wall and that really freaked me out. Jokes aside about it crawling out of my vagina, the though the spider had been anywhere near my body in the night gives me chills. I killed it with my Chanel flip flop. Where I am from, we are trained to react like this from a young age. Snakes however are given more grace and we give them a wide berth.

My nephew has his 7th birthday party tomorrow - my sister has rented out the local pool, two life guards and some super slide something for two hours and made some green cake in the shape of a car from some show something called Ben Ten or something. My sister and I were joking about our birthday cakes as a child... We'd have to argue for chocolate cause Mum didn't like chocolate cake for example. Anyway after having one of the Cardinal's cakes I won't be turning back.

HAHAHA Mum and I actually were talking on the phone the other night about all the Christmas presents my sisters kids got. I reminded her about how I was obsessed with getting a Mr Potato Head and I never got one. She told me that I could have saved my pocket money and got one and I was choking laughing saying "What pocket money? 20 cents for every cabbage moth we caught in the garden!?" Which only happened when the runner beans and broad beans were growing. One day though she still might get me one and I will be so thrilled!

In my house, if we got the day off school cause of bad weather, we would have to sit in our school uniforms and do a few hours school work before we were allowed to change again and get back to life. The plus side of my weird father is that we had a big back garden full of fruit trees, a train track over the back fence where we would go and play aborigines, a big garden shed where Dad let me use the tools, rabbits [although we had to eat them...], two dogs, a cat, a cubby house, spoiled for sunshine and a haunted hallway. My ex will tell you the house has a ghost. He nearly shit himself when she appeared in the room one night. He had to sleep with the light on after that. ROTFLOL.

Last night I bought a Le Creuset casserole so I am feeling very smug. Then I freestyled a lamb casserole with plums, turnip and onion and kind of fake Moroccan spices. It smells amazing. Credit crunch home cooking / microwave lunch at work.

TRACK FOR THE MORNING: DJ Rod Lee - HUMP

So yeah, I'm waiting for the miracle.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 8 January 2009

I'M STILL COLD


, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

Still no heating, still cold, still not at work, still no hot food. I thought 2009 was meant to be good?

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

WHO IS THIS?

God this picture really really reminds me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it? Maybe without the glasses... I dunno...

Anyway another boring day in my life passes. Today I spent it with no heating as I have a gas meter FAIL. Pricks from British Gas were meant to come between 8-1 today and it is now nearly 7pm and still nothing although I keep getting the 'We haven't forgotten about you' call every now and then.

After that gripping news, you will probably need to sit down with a sweet cup of tea to calm down.

xx Lektrogirl

Saturday, 3 January 2009

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

I have had the Commander on the case. An email arrived this morning.

# # # # # # # # #

Hello Emma, He was wearing brown Blundstones. I've spent hours trying to find info all I've come up with is XXCENSOREDXX (if you want a laugh look up XXCENSOREDXX or XXCENSOREDXX on my space) and his father who sponsored a rally car in Tas. I thought I might phone the shop in Sydney that sell his guitars and say I want to interview him for something? so I can at least find out which state he lives in. (I need to work on the story more) why is he so elusive, has he become a shut in like me? the tan says no.** Hobart night life is all spray tan, choppy haircuts, knife fights and serious binge drinking, there were photos going around last year called the bottle girl-yes she did put it there and she was proud of it. Funny you mention XXCENSOREDXX when they had to leave the last restaurant the other shops around them had Champagne to celebrate.

# # # # # # # # #

Hmmm... no closer to discovering the whereabouts of a certain someone BUT some tentative plans in place. The last brilliant piece of news I got from the Commander was when Myers in Hobart was on fire and the new MAC counter melted flat as a pancake. That was a while ago now.

xx Lektrogirl

** Am very impressed with this deduction.

OH GOD and some elected themselves the love of my life not so long ago in the heat of an argument and it was one of the statements that burst into the room like a balloon of pink fairy floss fantasy so insane and bizarre - like a cat in a volvo dropping by to deliver Easter eggs wearing a false moustache - I could only laugh and laugh [you know one of those snorty chokey hilarity ones] and take great satisfaction in saying "Errrr and what planet are you living on?" and realise that the whole argument was mute. The guy was seriously deluded.

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декабрь, Москва 2008


декабрь, Москва 2008, originally uploaded by im_foto.

This year I find beautiful man, with beautiful wallet, with wonderful taste in beautiful clothes. Maybe he make me do naughty things in the bedroom but I don't mind. I even start smoking. It seems what the beautiful girls do. Also, I get hair straightener and hair curler. Two things I need. This year I find beautiful man.

xx Lektrogirlka

Thursday, 1 January 2009

OKAY I ADMIT IT

Yep yep I guess I suppose to realise it is time to admit it to myself - I have now watched EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE HOUSE and I'm now watching CSI Miami in desperation for want of something better. Jesus.

UPDATE!
Calleigh's lip plumping is one syringe too many I think. Mega LOL. When she does 'serious face' she looks like she is sucking on two hot dogs. Mega mega LOL.

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LIFE OF THE PARTY?


50's fashion, originally uploaded by myvintagevogue.

Everybody recovered after last night's atrocities? I bet there are a few of you just getting out of bed now.

I had dinner with four friends at a local Thai restaurant. I had the Tom Kha and Lab Kai as per usual. My friends - who were taking various different drugs - made for an interesting mix of company. As the evening progressed, so did the conversation and my sense of watching a weird episode of Faulty Towers or something increased. Death by tsunami, death by Muslims on a plane, general death etc conversation for starters. Weird stalkers on the internet, weird sex on the internet and NONE of that was from me. They all hated the pub at the end of my street. It was kind of funny and nice. So they all ended up in my little flat continuing their own personal journeys to Midnight and The New Year visiting the bathroom and the back yard while I sat and drank pink prosecco, on my pink chair, watching the pink TV.

By the time they wanted to leave, I had already drawn a map for them to get back to the tube station and ripped it off the note pad I guess a little too eagerly because my best friend of the lot that was there cracked up and called me fucking autistic. It was also LOL.

Funnily enough though I had a really good time. I hope you all did too at whatever you were doing.

xx Lektrogirl

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THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB NEW YEAR

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 01 January 2009 00:11
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: The festive season is over thanks to the fireworks.


I don't think your email of the 8th December really sunk into my addled consciousness when I read it the first time.Now having read it again your comments regarding XXCENSOREDXX are certainly no less than true. Although I don't think penises should be so maligned by associating them with that crunt. I remember being in similar circs with a XXCENSOREDXX of Sydney who saved me from deportation when the Harbour Police caught up with me, Not, love, just a bit of rumpy pumpy and somewhere to sleep til I got a flat and a job etc. When she came across a millionaire fisherman from Darwin who wanted to marry her, she offered me 200 pounds if I would let her divorce me? This meant he didn't have to know she was already married . Yack. Yack. Yack. I gladly accepted the 200 quid and moved on. But that XXCENSOREDXX heap of busted bumholes deserves a good kick up the anus, and if your sure you wouldn't rise to his advances IO would him a severe dose of S.T.D. I hope you are able to send an email. When I don't get a comment about an email I sent to you, I wonder if you are having difficulties with the system Windows offers ,here?
Hope your year does progress a little more happily my little mate. I always find I can make the thick shit which is my brain think more happily and positively When I think/tell it to. I am told quite frequently that I am paranoid, but I just tell them to G.F.
Luv yer poor ol' Dad. He's pretty rooted. Or Pretty and rooted!

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