IMPROV GONE WRONG?

Got I get onto YouTube today and it recommends a video to me that is just like watching myself in another 10 - 15 yers... hell maybe 5 if someone throws acid in my face.



She has a better body than me.

I have to say that for the time being I cannot bare to look at gash being held open with craggy fingers for a fat husbands delight any longer so I won't be updating lameatnames.com for the time being - it will all be Valeria. I know that it is in good hands. I bet the the lady dancing in the video also has her own Flickr page. YGM.



She also does Haddaway what is love. Fellas imagine giving her a ride...

Anyway I'm cooking roesti right now which need my attention.

OH SHIT forgot to say - in the tragic mind of a sad and lonely blogger such as myself who can't help but occasionally tease someone. I am personally a big fan of Prancehall's blog just for the record even thought he hates me.

Anyway check this post: little-uk-rap-blast-from-past

I have to admit

Anonymous said...

the best things on your blog you nick from other people. lucky you sit at home all day surfing the net or you'd have no content at all.
2:12 AM

Was me. I was rotfling when I wrote it and didn't realise Pranny was going to have a little pebble in his pants over it like someone on the planet mu forum. I'm sorry.

xx Lektrogirl

MY GIFT TO PHIL

FROM MANARA'S FLICKR

, originally uploaded by s manara.

BEDROOMS ON SATURDAY

I'm in my bed in my bedroom minding my own beeswax having to put up with the neighbours loud music through the wall to the left of my and alfresco dining drifting in through the window behind me. It wouldn't be so bad if the music wasn't so random - one minute metal and the next minute Shirley Bassey. Today I was also in the Cardinal's bedroom checking out a dehumidifier and damp patches on the walls. A few days ago I was in The Trolls bedroom putting up shelves. I think of all the bedrooms I have ever been in. Some of them were revolting. Some of the bedrooms I have seen on Flickr looking for porn picks for lameatnames.com have been mind boggling.

Oh great - something like Cold Play on now. That noonie Chris Martin has a lot to answer for. Oh no - hang on I think it is a woman singing... Fuck me. Horrid either way.

I spent a while talking to Valeria on Facebook today. She makes me laugh! I made a great joke today as well but I can't remember it. How lame is that? Thankfully it wasn't the greatest achievement of the day otherwise I would be totally lost right? Today's achievement was a Figue Galette. Though I didn't eat it - I'm saving it till tomorrow. Today I ate the banana one which was super sweet and a bit weird but I love banana.

God - I'm covered in too many mosquito bites and am too itchy to be bothered trying to string together more of a conversation with you. I just have to sleep and wait for it to go away.

xx Lektrogirl

SATURDAY

., originally uploaded by sweet distin.

DEATH BAG

Drunk Girls in Manly Beach Australia, originally uploaded by manuiwa1.

Sorry about the boob everybody but while browsing Flickr for more pictures for lameatnames.com I came across this beautiful picture - not cause of the girls, or their clothes or the tit hanging out, the nature strip or the houses or the cars - but because the blond girl is clutching what is commonly known from my part of Australia as "A Death Bag". It is one of the inner bags from a cardboard cask of wine - and that's how we do at parties back at home. The silver one's are cooler than the clear plastic ones [they look like colostomy bags] but either way, whatever is in them has so many preservatives in the 'wine flavoured drink' [lolz] that the morning after you feel like fucking death. Hence the name. You Get Me?!



Yesterday as I said the Troll came over and did my garden. It was amazing. In two hours the Troll totally changed the whole place. I keep looking at it in surprise - it is so incredible! But whatever happened in the garden yesterday has meant that a huge number of insects have come inside [are they angry?!] and I woke up this morning itching like crazy. Then I packed my record back full of tools and screws and DIY stuff and trundled round to the Troll's grotto and put some shelves up. I can't tell you how great these last two days have been. I mean - I'm totally broke right now and have been working super hard at my job and keeping myself in line - there are a lot of things I could be miserable about. But then these simple pleasures come along... I'm really getting old right?! Only I'm now covered in another set of itchy bites this time from being shut in the cupboard doing these shelf things...

I went to Mc Donalds for dinner tonight because I was too knackered to do anything else. It was a big treat - I had a 6 nugget meal with OJ and curry sauce plus a cheeseburger on the side. Thank Allah there was actually an burger in there this time. Last time I was there, I got a cheese burger with ONLY CHEESE in it!! The shame!!



Seriously looking like this I knew I was gonna spend the night alone. Anyway while I was there, three youths came in and as one of them was ordering, one of the trio 'lighthoused' him so he was standing there in just his boxers with his trackie dacks round his ankles. Massive LOLZ.



Here is the Tarte Tartin thing I cooked yesterday. It is massive mauled cause already a lot got eaten and then I kept picking at it. But yerrr it was good.

Sorry I'm talking bullshit now. Yerrr so that is a deathbag!

xx Lektrogirl

WATCH OUT I'M COMING

Rehearsal for war, originally uploaded by Beniah Brawn.

My garden looks amazing. I will take a picture later. My pear tarte tartin wasn't perrrrfect but it was pretty good! We ate it too quick for a picture. DIY day - totally perfect. I'm ready for you. So get outta my way. Do it. Do it.

xx Lektrogirl

THURSDAY NIGHT

The best part of the night at the George and Dragon is when Madame [Pippa] takes off the headphones and sings a number. The second best part of the night is the Koko Kanu and Coke.

xx Lektrogirl

LAMEATNAMES.COM

At last, an arena for posting all my Internet intimate pictures. Everytime I put pics on here I get told by everyone "I CAN'T LOOK AT THAT AT WORK!!!" so instead, there is now a dedicated website to forlorn desire, absurd nudity and heartbreaking loneliness. There is a lot in the bin there.

http://www.lameatnames.com

BOOKMARK IT! Valeria Costa-Kostritsky and I will be continually updating the site with new pictures when we can. Valeria is based in Paris. I have never met her. We both like to be bitten. We both had sex with the Parisian Jew.

And yerrr take care. Definitely not suitable for work.

xx Lektrogirl

DOWN TIME GOOD VIBES

The weekend hasn't been too hyped yet at the same time I've been having some of the best times ever. Because of this when something bummery has happened it has been so "Water off a ducks back why don't you get off the phone and stop wasting my life?" and therefore no drama. Really incredible.

On Friday night I spent HOURS with Mr Chips shopping Balenciaga shirts online with him, cooking him a dinner that redeemed me from the macaroni cheese and fish fingers anomaly fiasco a few weeks previously and then making dog masks and polystyrene regal dog accessories as I previously mentioned.



There was one lethal moment when one of these sausages exploded as Mr Chips pierced it with his fork squirting hot fat almost into his eye. I really laughed though Mr Chips did have problem seeing the funny side to that. I didn't tell him that they were the same size as the man I slept [I mean ASLEEP there btw] with who had the smallest penis ever. This lead to an online conversation with Jappers where we both concluded that giving brain while the guy holds your head is a total turn off and it just makes you feel totally inadequate and want to give up. So guys out there: totally unsexy - don't do it.



On Saturday we actually shot the video for Woof Acid - a Ceephax Acid Crew track on Kingsland Road and in Abney Cemetery. Super fun. The video is going to be great. It stars Peaches Geldof's dog Snowy! Her you can see Jappers holding the tiny dog aloft while Mr Chips has out his 16mm camera.

Then on Sunday, I went and saw The Cardinal. I had to collect my records from the night I left them there after I got mugged - which was WEEKS ago. As soon as I saw the case I remembered why. It was so fucking heavy. We decided to go to WORK IT and I had on the outfit I had worn round to The Cardinals which was incidentally my pyjamas from the night before anyway.



Here is a really attractive picture of me by The Air COmmodore who has three sleeps and 8 wanks left if everything we calculated was true last night before he goes to Canada!!!

WORK IT was pretty good times. There was one really banging set of music which included She's Got That Vibe. Shortly after when the music got too Backpacker Hip Hop for me BDL turned up and I got to laugh at him for saying he would never go to WORK IT and there he was. The Cardinal and I busted loose shortly after that though cause it was pretty boring by then. AND THEN we got to play in the cab office around the corner which was probably the high point of the evening. Sad but true. I was loving it.







Yerrr so anyway, tomorrow work, Wednesday a friend is coming over to work in the garden with me - SO EXCITED. The best treat ever. I can't tell you how much I'm going to love this. The best ever.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #16 or so

It's a dog's life...




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 24 August 2008 04:57
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: Your unhappy news.


What a nuisance, for want of a better word. What stupid events has she perptrated to get herself in the dido? Nothing you can do to turn her around? XXCENSOREDXX If you were here in Tas then I could sign over my half of the house, then you could use it as security on a bank loan to create a busines here? Fark knows. Then again you aren't in a very receptive frame of mind after such bad news.
Keep pecking kid. it ain't the last job in the world.
Makes me think of Melbourne many years ago. Down to me last 8 bob. Bought a paper and applied to be Salesman for Dalgety's. Luck would have the Manager, Arthur Pattinson, ask me if I followed the footy. I answered , yes. Carlton. Arthur glowed and sai,"Good I'm a Drector for Carlton. Stood me in good stead for the next 12 years. as you know, or may remember?
Think lucky girl. There's always a bit of luck around the corner. Like you always say,"what goes around comes around." Mine is" Think lucky. You'll be lucky!" Though the golden eagle doesn't shit too often 0ut of the Lotteries. Strike me lucky. I only want a million to get us started'
See yer kiddo. Chun up and tell t.t.f.themselves.paXXXX

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If anyone else was having a bummed out moment, please feel free to take some of my Dad's advice for yourselves. There is plenty of The G.A.'s vibes to go around.



xx Lektrogirl

LOVE BOOK

love book - i see this book lay down in my mom's old drawer, originally uploaded by i can't cock i can cook.

So much to tell everyone but no time to tell it right now. Instead check this Chinese LOVE BOOK.

xx Lektrogirl

CHRISTMAS ALONE

, originally uploaded by sasha_miike.

OLD FRIENDS

P5040013, originally uploaded by cphbrains.

Sometimes you get to see a picture of your old friends and it reminds you of good times over the years and make you laugh and laugh and laugh.

WORD!

xx Lektrogirl

CAT IN A PETROL CAN

, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

DAY OFF

And what a day. Still broke and waiting for pay day I went back into town cause the guy at the Leicester Square Timpsons failed to cut a key correctly and I needed him to do it again. The key he cut as a replacement also didn't work. I hate him. He looks like a large version of the boot makers elves crossed with something out of A League of Gentlemen or something with brown gack all over his glasses. I also visited the Photographer's Gallery which wasn't a lot, then went and had a piece of rhubarb tart at PAUL and a really horrid coffee. After that I went into an antique etching and print place and asked the nerdy guy "I'm looking for pictures of naked ladies or tea parties." I mean what else would I want? A 'Negro' boxer, a prize winning horse or a battle scene - hardly. Anyway the poor guy blushed his face off and couldn't even bring himself to to say 'naked ladies' to his female boss [I bet he is big into vintage porn]. She sent me off to Cecil Court where I found some amazing plant lithographs and maps of Tasmania from the olden days. I didn't buy anything though. I will definitely go back though. I couldn't help but think of the rude man in Paris who has the shop selling old photographs in is it the Marché des Enfants or something? I so feel a trip to Paris coming soon.

Anyway - got home, had a nap but got woken by Superduck asking me about the name of a Café in Paris - which apparently has great hot chocolate. I don't even drink hot chocolate. Then OMG who should appear online by my old friend Noodles who I was able to swap some timely gossip with about one of the more highly strung ex's of my days and a lot of snorting ROLFing done on my part. Noodles also gave me the missing link to a mystery I have been trying to investigate for the last couple of weeks. So I was straight back on the phone to Superduck who could make like Craig David and Fill Me In. Superduck could assure me that XXCENSOREDXX is a piece of work and XXCENSOREDXX only goes for trophy men. HAHA. Good luck to XXCENSOREDXX then. To wind up the conversation, Superduck then went to tell me he wanted to jizz on Maude's face cause she is so cute, sweet, innocent and lovely [it is his cat] and take picture of it. Cool. Thankfully though he sent a text later telling me that even though he was trying hard and was thinking of XXCENSOREDXX Maude's little furry face really put him off and he couldn't do it.

And to put the lid on the day, Mr Chips has been making me a couple of videos on Facebook after we told each other to 'Get Fucked' the other day. In one of them he sang a little song along with what he calls his 'Paedo iPhone Piano' where he said I was like a cat stuck in a petrol can. Which I thought was a very accurate description of me sometimes - I can be that prickly.

All in all I have really enjoyed my day off. I hope to goodness that Oscar is in the office tomorrow. He is the cutest dog in the world.



I have worked in some offices where there have been dogs that have been nothing but trouble - pissing and shitting on the floor, constantly barking, biting people, chewing up staff's belongings - really badly trained dogs. Oscar on the other hand is just perfect! He has such a lovely nature and he is so friendly I love it when he sits at my desk and does my work for me. And I am going to see him tomorrow.

Oh cool - I just got another video from Mr Chips. He told me he is going to shoot me in the face and stab me in the cunt! Mr Chips really puts boys like Prancehall back in the playground when it comes to beef.

xx Lektrogirl

LOVING MYSELF

Loving Myself, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Yes pretty cool today. Also, I created my own Facebook Application today called CONTEMPORARY ART. For dinner I ate the last of the roast pork belly with some potato roesti. I watched the third episode of CSI Miami today. I put the heating on. Can you believe it? Then I went through all my desktop and random folders and realised I have quite a collection of great Flickr Porn now. I can't wait for Valeria to come to London in September so we can discuss such matters. I hope she likes to sit around and do nothing as much as I do. I am already thinking about what I will do for Christmas - it looks like tickets to Australia are £1600 - a £400 increase on last year. So maybe I will go for my birthday or something which is half the price. But still - Christmas alone in London. Thank Allah for all the Muslims who have chicken shops that are open on Christmas day or WTF would I eat?

xx Lektrogirl

8:30PM FEELING LIKE 2:00AM

By the end of the day today I was totally starving and I got the C2 bus home from Oxford Circus like greased lightening cause I knew what I had in the fridge. As you can see in the picture above, here is the leftover's from the lunch on Sunday I made that I was bragging about. Everything on the plate tasted even better after a day to marinade in the own juices and I fried the pork again and hot it was EVEN better. I think it would be great hot with puy lentils etc. Will definitely make that again.



On the way to Ladurée the other day, I saw Barbara Windsor get out of a taxi and I swear she had a chicken head! It was really good. She was also wearing mega heels and in all light coloured clothing. What a woman. Later that afternoon I saw that REALLY tall guy from The Office with his short girlf walking down Wardour Street. Hmmm... when was that? Thursday maybe on my way to the George and Dragon to the launch party for Paul Gorman's / Nigel Waymouth's / Granny Takes A Trip / The Look Presents t-shirt range for TOPMAN. Yerrr I know - TOPSHOP - totally against everything I believe in. However what I can appreciate is the history of the British fashion retail and design industry being visited by Paul Gorman which is what I grew up revering reading i-D and The Face back in 1988 in Tasmania thinking "OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO LONDON!!!" LOLZ. Apparently the rain was so heavy the roof leaked at Mum's all over my old magazine collection. FUCK.



Here I am looking a total babe as per usual in a t-shirt I wouldn't normally wear because I made the decision a while ago to stop dressing like a man but this picture shows that my lipstick is looking pretty hot. Probably I was pretty pissed by this stage from drinking Koko Kanu and Coke. I mean Max and I were topless in the George changing from our regular clothes into the t-shirts from The Look Presents range. If you want to check them all out though, look here. Some of the designs are actually reproductions of the original Granny Takes A Trip store front back in the 60's [like the one I had on]. You didn't know that Granny Takes A Trip was a shop back then? Ohh... God... where do I begin? Not even worth it...



So, mega day today back at work. Feeling hyped but can't believe how tired I am so early. I'm looking forward to getting paid. I want to go to a restaurant The Cardinal visited with her family recently:





Nearly as good as the instrumental to Hairbraider by my main man Kelz!

xx Lektrogirl

ME 2003

Me 2003, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

In Zurich just off Langstrasse. SO LONG AGO. I wasn't working, DJing all over the place, swanning around, doing whatever with whoever, whenever. All co-ordinated from my Tangerine iMac.

Life was so different then. It seems like I remember it as being always hot and sunny. I guess I just don't remember bad weather. But then summer in Switzerland is ALWAYS banging cause they build temporary bars along the Limmat and have grills on the side for wurst and beer. AND there is the lake that you can swim in. And the forest. B.A.N.G.I.N.G. However, it is a kind of boring town. Only good for eating, drinking and lying down cause it is too hot.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #13.5

Bugger - this one came on Thursday but I forgot to post it!! Sorry everyone.

-----

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 14 August 2008 03:20
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: first day down, This is in answer to your first day down' a good learning day, and lots of quids to come?


I know rour'e busy etc. but you are the only one who has the brightest and appreciative of the 'rare' vulgaruty that sneaks into my writing. I don't have control over it, it just overflows as from a carbuncle pussing out of an infected follicle. God help us!
Our boss stopped me yestertday looking all harrassed and worn out, I asked "what's up Chook" To which she replied this place gives me the 'effein shits' (quote, unquote)
Evidently the Salvo's are giving her a hard time, which is easy for them , because they think they've got God on their side, What a load of bollocks?
The two chaplains are very pleasant folk, they are from the south of Edinburgh.
'Borderers' to be precise. Still they are Scottish and are fairly understanding of my antipathy to religion when I relate my earl days in Glsgow being a protestant at a predominantly Catholic school. My brothers and I gave blood noses to Catholic abusers every day we gathered in the playground for recess. Even the shit faced girls used to call out 'Protestant Bastards'
But that was a lot of yesterdays ago my little friend.I remember give ing one shiela a bit of a dunt up the arse to help her into the classroom for wittering shit at me.
Miss King sent me for the strap and book for violence on a female. She larraped six of the best on my hand. Which was fair enough. W hen I think of my father, thumping shielas isn't really fair play.
Itried deleting all my previous emails theother day, yours and mine but the flamin printer took a hand in printing the saved in drafts tray.
Some of the reading from each other is a good laugh!
Specially bits about what hangs in and out of best? Don't tell me youve relaxed you guard and let XXCENSOREDXX have a serve? Fark, (exactly)That's enough of your expensive time. I hope it get's more interesting for you mate? Luv ex PaXXXX.

------

I promise that I will not let emails sit in my inbox for too long without posting them.

Well work again this morning and I cant believe that I am awake and happy at this time of day. Totally unheard of! On the weekend I was awake pretty early - the transition hasn't been that bad from slacker internet addict to SATC working girl. TCB. Anyway I better go and find something more appropriate to wear to work than pink polkadot PJ bottoms and a red Kon Tiki t-shirt [an old one of Max's he gave me!]

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #15

Dear All

Before posting my Father's opinions here from his latest email, I just want to re-iterate that they are MY FATHER'S opinions and not mine although I cannot speak for my sub-editor. Indeed - they may not even be my father's opinions either, he maybe just be saying them for comedy effect...

-----

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 18 August 2008 01:34
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: MY ADDRESS IS the HOUSE WITH A BIG RED LIGHT SHINING OUT OF THE PORCH


tHANKS FOR THE WORDS/INFO. i MUST BE A GREAT RELIEF TO YOU TO KNOW YOU HAVE THE RENT AND TUCKER COSTS COVERED. Fark. You know why the expletive? I think my 83 rd year will be the last of controlled intelligence?
One other thing that springs to mind, you must gain great confidence in yourself that you are still elligble, and able to apply for, a,d get, a good job. I' m happy for you any how.
All I can say about the Olympic games is spectacularly boring. The Chinese are so far up themselves I'm sure they can taste their own faeces on the back of their toungue. Nothing unsual, really thet use their own shite to manure thier own home grown salad and veges. They sprinlkle glitters on the turds to make them more attractive! To smell or eat? I' m not sure. Cheers mate. 2 quick questions,
1.Where is your email computer?
2 When's the best time for you to recive.
3What is your mobile phone number? I'd HATE TO BE SENDING VITAL INFO TO THE THIEVING GIT WHO NICKED YOUR PHINE. fARK AGEN. Cheers mate. Luv yer. Take care. Put a mouse trap by the edge of the bed, be suprised what the XXCENSOREDXX man 'll get caught in it? At XXCENSOREDXX he'll prolly need a rat trap? Dadxxxx The comp just told me when I went to sign off that my message had not been sent. and that was after it had already told me it had sent it. so Ill send it again in case the F.R.E.D!

-----

xx Lektrogirl

SUNDAY LUNCH

laptop_lunchbox 2007.01.04, originally uploaded by amanky.

Well I have to admit that my Sunday feast looked nothing like this but I forgot to take pictures. What a loser! But it looked so amazing. Then we ate it.

I made:

Slow cooked shredded pork belly with wine with chicory and cornichons.
Carrot, cumin and harrisa dip.
Potato dauphinoise.
Norwegian cucumber & dill salad [The Cardinal's recipe]
Plus there was like olives, bread, cheese, anchovies etc.

I'm so sad there were no pictures cause it really was a sight to behold. And I was told that it was an excellent lunch. Thank god.

Here is the Cucumber Salad recipe that I made which The Cardinal confirms is similar enough to hers. Only we both only make about a quarter of it.

Cucumber Dill Salad

4 large cucumbers
1 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
salt and black pepper, to taste
1 medium red onion, thinly sliced and broken into rings
3 tbs. fresh dill, finely chopped

- Wash the cucumbers and partially remove their peel in lengthwise strips, using either a vegetable peeler or the tines of a fork. Make sure to leave a bit of dark green skin between each stripe.

- Thinly slice each cucumber. Place the slices in a large non-metal bowl and pour on the cider vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper. Stir or toss the mixture gently until the sugar is dissolved.

- Add the onion slices and fresh dill, then toss well to combine. Let the mixture marinate for at least half an hour before serving.

- It's best to serve any leftovers at room temperature. So refrigerate any remains, but let the seasoning be enhanced by a little time on the table before dining.

Hopefully it looks a bit like this:

I LOVE COOKING.

I feel like this today!



xx Lektrogirl

PRON

PRON, originally uploaded by pilgrim' s progrock.

HERE'S TO SWEET DREAMS

with love from the countryside, originally uploaded by favoriet.

One one hand my fingers smell of garlic and the other fresh ginger [already preparing for tomorrow! Shit if I get blown out...] and I will go to bed in a minute and try and get bored to sleep. Why I don't cook more often I don't know. I absolutely love it. But it really is a grind cooking for just me.

CRAZY DAY

opp7, originally uploaded by carsick.

Today was all weird!

And I think that even the dog Coco upstairs is feeling it cause it won't stop barking.

I was walking along the street today and saw this:



I was on my way to Archgate for the usual but ended up having a falafel instead - a big mistake I thought. Then when I got home, Alex T rang to tell me all about going to an Art gallery and the conversation ended with him promising to punch me in the stomach if I ever got pregnant by anyone which is a sweet relief cause I don't think I could handle going to the dry cleaner and asking for one of those horrible coat hangers [they also ruin your clothes]drinking gin and eating green paw paw all in a hot bath. I think I would rather have Alex T punch me in the guts as hard as he can. I would even like it if he took a little run up. How that conversation happened I don't know and on that note we rang off from one another and I went to Waitrose cause I'm cooking a lunch for a friend tomorrow. I hope it turns out good cause he is on a par with the food fascism. I am just as guilty. Though I can't say what I am making now cause it is meant to be a surprise.


NOT the fire I am about to talk about.

On my way to Waitrose though, an old man scrunched up a piece of paper and set it alight and buried it in a huge pile of dry twigs outside someone's apartment under an overhanging tree on Magdala Avenue. I just watched him do it. As the flames rose and started licking the tree I was on 999 straight away and calling telling them my story. The owners of the house came out in the meantime and threw some water and kicking the bush stamping out the fire. I went up to them and told them what I had seen the old dude do. He was still sitting at the bus stop watching what was going on. He started yelling that he didn't do it. The guys from the house were calling him a fucking mental. The fire truck arrived. I needed to poo [sorry TMI!] so I went off to McDonald's. Etc.



And speaking of weirdness! You'll never guess who Japper's fancies like mad!! HOUSE!!! She said he is totally DREAMY! And she said the reason she fancied him is cause he is like EXTREME XXCENSOREDXX. Fucking LOLZAPOLLOZA!! Really good one. I wonder if I have to XXCENSOREDXX more of that.



And in further weirdness, I had a Internet chat with a friend who was in an Internet café at a nudist beach where he was hanging out with his father and his father's boyfriend. If I thought about it too much, I started tripping.

Anyway I hope you had a happy day everyone cause mine was pretty awesome in it's own little way. I'm not going out tonight though I was going to go to that thing The Cardinal and Antoinette are going to - bugger what is it called?! Can't remember.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. I hope you appreciated the nice Flickr finds I have exhibited for you too.

ART GALLERY OF MY DREAMS

art gallery 01, originally uploaded by Mang25.

TV FACE [TM]

TV Face [TM], originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Yer you know what it is tonight? I know you are all gagging for it - fuck Acid On Sea IT IS LAW AND ORDER SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT NEW SERIES EPISODE TWO and I will be in bed looking like this watching NCIS in anticipation working myself up into a fever, erupting all over LAW AND ORDER SVU and basking in the after glow of whatever else is on then - I think another Law And Order - either Criminal Intent or the other one.

BRING IT ON.

I got a new computer at work today. I showed my guns and carried the new monitor and hard drive up four floors one in each arm without a rest to the top like a true Aussie hero. Not cause I had to but cause I wanted to. And if I got a thirst for it I would have cracked a Solo - light on the fizz so I could slam it down fast. That was an Aussie joke BTW. Only Caz might know it.

The best thing about my new job is knowing that I can sleep in tomorrow. That feels better than being able to sleep all day every day. Seriously.

Anyway I now need to pretend I need to do some random chores [I do need to but I so cannot be bothered] and will go get ready for my TV viewing.

xx Lektrogirl

YERRR

am90_burger, originally uploaded by marisaolson.

I'm so hungry I could eat an old shoe.

Oh yeah and today at work continued with further tribulations. The light relief was provided by talking about videos like this:



I mean FFS!!! 'Chrome Dome' YGM. Not on.

And I know it isn't funny or clever to swear, I can't help but refer to this track Move Bitch by Ludacris



cause I am so feeling it right now about a few people, piles of paperwork, maybe even myself.

I had a coconut macaroon today from Laduree and it was gross.

xx Lektrogirl

FFS

Appointment at work this morning that I got up at 7am for cancelled.

Just to let the universe know though, I was in the office at 8.55am - and this will NEVER happen again.

Spluch: Toilet-Themed Restaurant

>Spluch: Toilet-Themed Restaurant

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #14

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 14 August 2008 03:20
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: first day down, This is in answer to your first day down' a good learning day, and lots of quids to come?


I know rour'e busy etc. but you are the only one who has the brightest and appreciative of the 'rare' vulgaruty that sneaks into my writing. I don't have control over it, it just overflows as from a carbuncle pussing out of an infected follicle. God help us!
Our boss stopped me yestertday looking all harrassed and worn out, I asked "what's up Chook" To which she replied this place gives me the 'effein shits' (quote, unquote)
Evidently the Salvo's are giving her a hard time, which is easy for them , because they think they've got God on their side, What a load of bollocks?
The two chaplains are very pleasant folk, they are from the south of Edinburgh.
'Borderers' to be precise. Still they are Scottish and are fairly understanding of my antipathy to religion when I relate my earl days in Glsgow being a protestant at a predominantly Catholic school. My brothers and I gave blood noses to Catholic abusers every day we gathered in the playground for recess. Even the shit faced girls used to call out 'Protestant Bastards'
But that was a lot of yesterdays ago my little friend.I remember give ing one shiela a bit of a dunt up the arse to help her into the classroom for wittering shit at me.
Miss King sent me for the strap and book for violence on a female. She larraped six of the best on my hand. Which was fair enough. W hen I think of my father, thumping shielas isn't really fair play.
Itried deleting all my previous emails theother day, yours and mine but the flamin printer took a hand in printing the saved in drafts tray.
Some of the reading from each other is a good laugh!
Specially bits about what hangs in and out of best? Don't tell me youve relaxed you guard and let the big fella have a serve? Fark, (exactly)That's enough of your expensive time. I hope it get's more interesting for you mate? Luv ex PaXXXX.

HOUSEWORK

At my new job I have been TCB - [learnt this from Bok Bok via Manara - Take Care of Business.] Basically, getting stuck into some long overdue paperwork house keeping so that I can get cracking with my job properly. So sorting, filing, researching, asking questions, updating computers etc etc. The people I work with are super nice and couldn't be more helpful - but for those of you who read my blog who have ever had a job [so that would be 90% the girls, 30% of guys who have had 'real jobs' 30% of guys who have kind of had 'pretend jobs' that were just like DJing for cash or something but it still counts - the left over girls and 40% men you won't get this] - you will understand that a new job is always A LOT; Working out if you wore the right thing, who will be your allies, how everyone has their tea, how long you can talk on the phone without looking like a slacker, can you install Miranda/Trillion etc... S.T.R.E.S.S. And of course, overcoming my Internet addiction and having to drink cows milk for the time being out of an ugly cup. [How long can I leave it before I can bring in my own china teacup for plunger coffee without everyone thinking I'm a tosser but thinking I'm cool and quirky? YGM?]

So the following song, Let There Be House, is dedicate to me and my new job.



This song also holds some very deep connections to my life back in Tasmania. When this record first came out, I bought the 12" and went totally nuts listening to it over and over and dancing all the stresses of my life out in the hallway on Mum's new carpet. I was in year 11 or 12 - so 16 or 17. I was the bane of Mum's life - because the carpet was so new and woolly, one dance session would kick up all the new fluff of the wool - virtually tumble weave - that she would go round clucking and picking up spluttering at me "Stop It!! You are kicking up all the carpet!! You will dance a hole in the carpet!!"

Listening to this song again now is a really great de-stress session for me. On top of the new job and the heartbreak over the Chanel lipstick really not being up to scratch, I had a fucking shit start to the week over really weird weird stuff that has also been on my mind. I just feel so much is in the bin right now - more like hard knocks from other people's misplaced weirdness - and like my astrology said today - 'just let it be like water off a duck's back' which is true, but when I'm super stressed/tired about a new job its hard. I went out to dinner with Max tonight and he asked me about all my woes [I cried in China Town - AGAIN! - FFS!! I really must be hitting menopause!!] and it was so nice to be sitting with one of my oldest bestest craziest friend 'chewing the fat'.

Something to look forward too though! I am going to Nantes to see Puyo Puyo and Eva on the 18th October for a gig there. WOOHOO. I don't know who else is playing but I am sure it will be excellent. I haven't seen them since I met them in Liege - the same night I met Lu and Bernd from Mash Gordon. FUCK ME!! THAT WAS A PARTY!! Yerrr...

SOMETHING NICE TODAY

Jo Made This, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Something nice today as nice as this that I can look forward to that is nice, please.

Thanks

xx Lektrogirl

CONSUMER COMPLAINT

Dear Ms Chanel

I wanted to write a letter of complaint to you regarding two maquillage products I have purchased from one of your concessions recently, in Selfridges.

Based on the fact that the two 'rouge a lèvres' I purchased were similar to a Christian Dior lipstick I had stolen from me a while ago, I felt confident with the assurances from the marketing of your brand with the two colours I walked out of the store with would be more than adequate to mend my broken heart.

However I am bitterly disappointed on the performance of your product. My Ch