Monday, 30 June 2008


How far away can you swim away from shore before you realise you need to swim back to land?

xx Lektrogirl

Sunday, 29 June 2008


Another weekend passes and another beautiful girl vomits in Shoreditch.

My 'crew' were 'rolling' in those 'ends' over the w-end. As per usual we started off with out new secret tradition, which like the Freemasons handshake is only something discussed amongst that knows who know about it in the first place. Though I can only say, wouldn't be amazing if Pisco Sours came in miniature bottles!

We spent a moment with Lady Friends Noriko and Little Witch. Who should appear but Sue Ellen! Brilliant! I haven't seen her since those old days when the Little Witch and I had 'The Competition' and a chart on the wall with names and scores.

Then we headed to The Macbeth where I was THRILLED to see Deano who has the hottest moustache in London right now. It is a comforting vision as he looks just like an Australian Bogan - maybe from a Rossarden Motorcycle gang. Hell - even like Chopper Read

Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read (born November 17, 1954), is an Australian former-criminal, author, and celebrity. Convicted of many crimes including armed robbery, firearm offences, assault and kidnapping, Read spent a mere 13 months outside prison between the ages of 20 and 38, then went on to become a successful author of crime novels, selling in excess of 500,000 copies of his works. More recently, he has also found success as a recording artist.

The Macbeth is really one of the more rotten places in London to have a party. Everyone knows that queuing for the toilet is a tragedy and there is rarely any toilet paper. I took great pleasure in pissing and using a number of the most current flyers for 'Gash' distributed in the club. I made sure everyone one I use I tore so that Prancehall was going to be the first and only thing coming into contact with my most private parts.

Here is a flyer I had ripped in preparation [but didn't use] next to my new Jas MB clutch that was a gift from my dear friend The Arabian Prince. See Pranny that would end up on my fanny? Also, there is some random beer bottle I would be sure to do a Kinga with if I got too excited alone in the bathroom.

I actually spoke to Prancehall for the first time that night in a long time since our last 'Internet war'. I asked him if our beef was going to be like Kobi for ever time and he didn't even know what kobi beef is. So rather than trying to explain it to him I just told him I knew it was him that had written things about some people I knew on my blog. He line was "It was so long ago, I don't remember, I don't even care any more - Oh yeah I remember I was in the room when it happened but I didn't actually type it and there are two other guys in this club who you know that actually did it but I can't tell you who it is."

This news was enough to make me take my finger off "the pulse" looking at pictures of myself for a minute. I know...

We exchanged further 'pleasantries' for a few moments before Prancehall turned again and told me how much he hates me and what a revolting person I am. Only I can't take it seriously.

Look on the love on that face as man connects with fellow man. You really can't hate a guy like that. SPIRITUAL. Just like 'Happy Song' by Baby's Gang all over again.

Another girl transfixed by the London Summertime vibes is The Cardinal.

Somewhere deep within herself she is experiencing the vibrations from her aura to the soundtrack of Whitney Houston.

I have to say that there were few spiritual vibes by the end of my DJing stint at The Lauriston. I was completely knackered. The people working at the bar were incredibly nice and so were most of the customers. But there was one moment where I looked up and all I could see was some nutter in a black Akubra and black eye-liner dancing to everything I played, some black guy with a wooden bead choker asking for ELO and a table of bald men who were disappointed when Super Freak wasn't U Can't Touch This.

At the end of the night, one of the guys from the bald table came over to thank me tho' for everything I had played. He said that the whole night he and his friends had been trying to guess what my real life job is. And finally they decided that I was a teacher who looked like she had just marked 30,000 term papers. HA!! I always look so miserable when I DJ - either that or they were fantasising that I would spank them with a ruler.

I was only too pleased to be home that night and get into bed. So tired. And I couldn't get away from Mr Akubra quick enough once he started asking me if I believed in destiny and I tried saying no cause I knew where his conversation was headed but he told me that he knew I wasn't the type of lady who didn't believe in destiny. Then he asked if I was a Capricorn or a Gemini. Wrong on both counts.

xx Lektrogirl

Saturday, 28 June 2008


DSC00645, originally uploaded by Michael O'Neill!.

See how great I am and check out my BABE HAIR [TM]? You can also see a little bit of my Vivienne Westwood Teddy necklace and and the Jas MB clutch that Dal gave me. SO MANY COMPLIMENTS.
I recycle a joke from earlier in the evening 'Check me out I'm gonna lick that lion's ring'.

Anyway a lot of tales from tonight to tell you but it is 4.36am and I ate three muffins. I want to jump straight to bed and I promise I will upload my own pictures and fill you in tomorrow.

Oh and I'm DJing at the Lauriston Saturday night as well.

xx Lektrogirl


, originally uploaded by .valeria.


Thursday, 26 June 2008


Today has been a total:

Everything has gone wrong! No spiritual vibes love synchronisity for me - Sandy Morton you can Eff Off. Get up after only 4 hours sleep, meeting times fucked, money fucked, head fucked, cooking fucked.

WHY DO I BOTHER? It better not rain tomorrow - I have some errands in town and I want to wear my Marni shoes.

I even tried to make a vlog like the girls below to cheer myself up AND THE BATTERY WENT DEAD.

I'm gonna get my Anna Sui nail polish remover out and talk to it for a while instead - trying not to drink it - and get into bed and cry me a river.

Oh - on a positive note:

Cause I was so miserable today I bought myself these and I love them.

And what am I listening to? Fuck Em by David Banner.

I'm no 314 or 618, but where I am at on the Route of the 393 it sounds pretty good to me.

xx Lektrogirl

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I really wish I was a blonde cheerleader type. Life looks really fun!

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 25 June 2008


If you want to check out how your local favourite restaurant fairs in it's latest kitchen inspection here in London, you can visit the Food Agency Standard service and find out.

Sadly, being British, the reports are by no means as brutal as the New York counterpart which you can check out here. This site even lists when there has been mice, flies or broken light bulbs.

xx Lektrogirl

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The other day, Jo Apps showed me this website and I was trying to work out my weight in average domestic cats for her. Only I didn't know how much I weigh - I never bother about stuff like that at all. So I was guessing like 90-95 kilograms. That is:

* 19 average domestic cats.
* 13 men's shotputs.
* 5.3 microwave ovens.

Today, I went into the pharmacy and had to pick up a prescription and noticed that there were some electronic scales in there. I weighed myself [shoes, jeans, t-shirt and Ralph Lauren sweat all on] and was surprised that at 5'10" I was coming in at 81.2 kilograms. That is:

* 49 average physics textbooks.
* 16 average domestic cats.
* 11 men's shotputs.
* 4.5 microwave ovens.

In a matter of days, I have lost the equivalent of 3 DOMESTIC CATS!! Wow!! What a diet!!

To celebrate, I went to McDonalds and had my favourite item on the menu - the 3 piece chicken strips meal [regular]with Curry Sauce and an orange juice and read the Metro paper. Cause I would hate to think I was really gonna loose too much weight and one of my favourite assets [LOLZ what a pun]


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Tuesday, 24 June 2008


No I don't know that much about the new Gallery developments in Tasmania that has something to do with the mysterious buyer who is looking for new works here in London on the down low. I was just having a teary argument with my mother again on the phone about a number of matters when the subject came up though and she told me about some gambler investing his winnings in a Gallery at Moorilla [the famous wine estate].

I think the one she means is going to be the MONA [Museum of Old and New Art]. There is also going to be another gallery opening in Peppermint Bay in Woodbridge further south of Hobart opening around the same time.

So yeah - to the East End of London, David Walsh is your man.


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Monday, 23 June 2008


Dear Mathieu

In celebration of our conversation this evening, I have decided to curate a new Blog exhibition called THE BORING ONE with some of my favourite pictures from V aka the 'boring' one. Who as you know, I prefer to your last girlfriend known as 'the boy'. As for poor Julie, I am sure she would prefer to remain out of all of this.

So, for the grand opening of THE BORING ONE, please scroll down to view the pictures I have selected. Which you have already seen a thousand times before.

On curating this exhibition:
I love the internet. I love that people post the post intimate things on there. The most public domain. And then, often in private, thousand of people look at it. Thousands of people could all be looking at it in private all at the same time. It is mind boggling. I love it. There is no privacy any more. I love looking for people's secrets.

Et Voila.

Photographs by .v

Taken on May 26, 2008

Tu as dit laisse-moi te mettre dans un taxi si tu rentres chez toi dans cette tenue tu vas te faire violer et tuer et on retrouvera ton corps au bois de Boulogne.
Taken on April 30, 2008

ce n'est pas privé c'est un portrait/ I need you to hold on while the sky is falling
Taken on September 8, 2007

Taken on January 2, 2008

laideur fascinante de la décoration des hôpitaux
Taken on January 11, 2008

Taken on January 11, 2008

Taken on November 30, 2007

that night I fell asleep with the light on
Taken on October 4, 2007

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Poodle Rocking, originally uploaded by ..Philippa...

I think The Cardinal should bring Lady out with us every night. A prop like her works wonders.

Today I spent with Jasmine who made my throat sore. It isn't for you to know who or why. It was very interesting working with her and hearing what she had to say. I hope she comes back soon.

Then I had a really frustrating phone conversation with the people at 3 who are all in India or Pakistan somewhere. I HATE MY PHONE. To send an SMS can take ages. It isn't me being all cool and casual to reply to you. It is actually taking like 10 minutes to send. So annoying. So I called to complain and got told that it is a common problem and I have to d/l some stupid SMS ACCELERATOR software for the Nokia E61. So they text me a link which doesn't have the software at all. So I call back and they tell me I have to wait 24 hours while they investigate. Why am I SOOOO mad? I don't know. But I'm furious. I really hate my phone. Which of course brings me to H M L.

I've been in such a mood lately. Although from the beautiful picture above you wouldn't think so. Can something just work out like I want it to for once please? Just ONCE??!

xx Lektrogirl


Black Bike Week 2008 223, originally uploaded by beachtoyota.

I have great Flickr Friends.


Dear Mathieu

I is past two in the morning and I can't sleep. Mostly because I am thinking of a way to come to Paris - I need someone to tell all my secrets too. For the most part, my blog is wonderful but there are always other things I want to write about as well. That is why I like to talk with you. I know you are a bad father but Bunny will always climb on the knee of Europe's greatest Parisian Jew and whisper in your ear. God... I feel like I'm going a bit stir crazy tonight. What do you suggest?

I spent the day in bed watching Almodovar DVD's. Today it was Kika. There was a scene where a rapist who has escaped from prison breaks into the house of his sisters employers, fake ties up his sister and goes into the bedroom to find his sister's boss sleeping. He sticks pieces of a clementine into the pussy of the woman to taste her on the fruit. For some reason it made me think of XXCENSOREDXX and want to be lying in XXCENSOREDXX parents bed under the nude portrait they have of themselves looking out the window at the sun on the wall.

I also got an apology from XXCENSOREDXX, but XXCENSOREDXX can keep his two fingered half hearted tap on the shoulder to himself while he pretends to be all goody goody. The sad thing is, there is nothing going on and I miss his big jokes like crazy. It is so stupid. He just has an insecure girl riding his nuts.

Then there is XXCENSOREDXX. XXCENSOREDXX is my secret. And XXCENSOREDXX is who I think of the most and would be the first thing I would tell you all about. And the second. And the third.

Do you remember when we ate Burger King? I just remembered walking down Holloway Road.

D'accord. Moi je suis fatigue - ENFIN. Je vais au pieu. I hope I don't have to see that ugly boude boudin any time soon. Save a seat for me at that nice restaurant we went to last time. I will meet you there as soon as I can.

xx Emma

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Sunday, 22 June 2008


In the mood for DIY today after my astrology reading said that I can be lazy today and only attend to the essentials. So I decided to clean out all the waste pipes in the bathroom from the sink and shower. The picture above is just from the sink. That is a matted mess of hair, toothpaste and grout and got knows what else. It smelt fucking rank.

My mother keeps calling me and I keep avoiding her. I have nothing to tell her other than I'm broke, my neck hurts and I'm looking for a new job but can't sit at the computer for too long. I'm not in the mood.

Last night at WORK IT was a real drag for various reasons. But I was able to conclude that XXCENSOREDXX is no longer the worst dressed girl in London. After only seeing XXCENSOREDXX in TWO outfits, she has superseded the original horror with a devastating skill. Really really bad. So apologies to the first worst dressed girl. I actually think you are quite pretty for what it is worth.

I was so distracted by trying to have a good time when really I wasn't last night that I didn't even think to test the smell of this. I wonder if it really smelt of baby powder!!

When I first woke up this morning I felt like another lead weight had been added to my load when I thought some random cat had puked in my back yard - the same cunty cat who broke the cover for my kitchen strip light perhaps?! - but no it turned out to be just a water logged slice of wholegrain bread my neighbours had thrown into the garden along with all the other shit they throw, when not yelling at their dog or singing Frère Jacques to their kid atonally.

And to cheer myself up, I am reposting this song from September 2007

Best song ever.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 21 June 2008


this picture of vanilla ice has been in with my travel card in my back pocket for the past couple of years.
i could not even begin to calculate how many times i have sat on his face....

as for vanilla ice - at college (16 - 17 years old) i studied ancient history - all about the greeks and the romans. the teacher was kind of nice and kind of strange - she really wore a lot of mascara. most classes were taken up by us watching the tv series "i claudius." really i was shit at ancient history - i only took it cause i had to take something [all classes were elective.] i could never remember anything. for my exams i studied the historian suetonius because out of all of them his accounts were the most interesting. but it was also know that suetonius was the biggest gossip and bitch on the scene and would often exaggerate things to make a better story. [well so they say - afterall - who really knows except those there] anyway - after exams our teacher was really embarrassed she said "thank goodness i marked the question on suetonius and not one of the other teachers - you exam emma was almost pornographic!" it is much easier to remember tits and ass i think than dates so suetonius' writings were great. he spoke about caligula raping his sister and people being tided to stakes and fucked....

but anyway back to vanilla ice. there was this guy in our ancient history class who was not very clever. for example - to save his walkman batteries he unscrewed the cassette and tried to flip the tape over manually. Of course the tape became unwound and spilled everywhere. a bit simple. BUT he LOVED vanilla ice. His name was Ricky. Sometimes when I went out to take part in hobart's gripping night life at clubs like the Babylon, la cage, refines or the one that Ricky was at - the caddillac club (before it was called "club dimension" and after it was called "the avenue" im not sure what it is called now) and he would only dance to ice ice baby and he knew the dance routine EXACTLY. he was very good at it! he looked a bit like vanilla as well and also had a shaved eyebrow. and he wore the black waistcoat with high shined shoes and denim too. he was great.


Sarah and Alex, originally uploaded by All About Eve Babitz.

Now I know what I missed after not making it to the George and Dragon on Thursday night for Pippa night [every second Thursday]. Last Thursday to celebrate the opening of Nathaniel's nameless shop, the George and Dragon turned into the second hand store with everything for sale with goods from Nathaniel's shop. Looking at Pippa's Flickr it seemed all the Lady Gang were there [except me] playing dress up with all the hairy men in town...

Grass is always greener when you see the pictures of someone else's night. It also seems the beards are always ginger...

xx Lektrogirl


seventeen, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

So this picture is by Paul Pieroni who runs the gallery seventeen on Kingsland Road. He is one of the chaps that I spent yesterday evening with and here I am modelling his thick woollen suit jacket looking far more sexual and self assured than he did. Sorry Paul, but it is true.

Tonight, The Cardinal and I were at Catch again for Slash. Here are a number of things I forgot happened last night until we were able to dissect the evening completely.

Paul Peroni wiped his right bollock on the face of Lady as quick as you might like in front of us all. Cardinal was HORRIFIED. I couldn't stop laughing. I ended up putting pool cue chalk on one of my nipples and The Cardinal had my tit out crying 'IT IS GOING TO STAIN YOUR BRA'.

So stupid.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 20 June 2008


The Spirit of Christmas., originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I miss my Dad.


Everything from Australia isn't jokes back from home.

Pseudo Echo - Listening

The Church - Under The Milky Way

xx Lektrogirl

OH and the delicious Caz Facey has reminded me of Aunty Jack

Fuck Me...



Mixed with beer. Who knew what a great hang over that would make? It definitely was a potion that removed all pain from my neck and shoulder allowing me to vibe along to R Kelly [My mind's telling me no.....] until this morning when I'm a crippled WRECK.

Here I am a 100% Babe Hair Babe so totally in love with myself I can't even look at Paul Pieroni. We had been to this exhibition at his gallery, seventeen, earlier.

Where the Cardinal and I had made this. It was great. Other visitors to the gallery saw it and were adding bottles like they were supposed to. I supposed no-one saw the value in the art there and it has been swept away. But whatever.

We bumped into Jenny Jenny in the street who was more than happy to pose with Lady. The Cardinal bought Lady from Nathaniel's new shop on Hackney Road full of the most amazing stuff.

See! Amazing! Jewellery, Clothes, Buttons, Music manuscripts, calligraphy practice, Gypsy Recipe Cook Books... all sorts...

And last night was the first night I met Phil. I mean WHAT A TOTAL BABE. [Not The Cardinal... I mean Chipstix Phil] His pictures on Facebook to date have not done him justice. He really is a handsome man! And so funny!!!

"Rambo" in a lonely pub

Giving birth is a Playa's Game.

Anyway - last night was major jokes and my body hurts too much to detail everything.

Paul Peroni definitely not fooling anyone.

We are SOOOO sad that Single White Female [DIAF] hates us.

I'm feeling so rough now and want to lie, cry and die right now I have to go. I will leave you with this beautiful Andrew Sisters song to reflect upon.

Thank you Captain Morgan.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 19 June 2008


Ladies I love you and think about you every day!! This picture makes me so sad... You have really moved!!

xx Lektrogirl

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There are thousands who work a H&M / Primark or other scum of the earth crap with an AA marl jersey. And guess what? You all look the same. Except a lot fatter or thinner than each other - maybe you should try posting at the Pro-ana website near you?! Which all sounds like such harsh words from me v. DIAF YGM?- I'm venting from lying in bed with a sore neck - when really I want to tell you all about Susie Bubble who sets the standard the fashion blogging and working an outfit.

I first met Susie when she bought a dress in Maison B - it was an Eley Kishimoto black and navy number that I had my eye on all along. But I am glad it went to her. Susie has the glossy black hair for it! Now she is a properly fashion. But then maybe she always was? No - she can't really be 'fashion' when she writes a post like this:

Me: Ok, is it me or is that pink dress in the window looking really nice....

Boyf: I'm thirsty, I need a drink....

Me: Seriously... those different layers of ruffles... that shade of pink... dear lord... I think I'm rather liking it...

Boyf: Ok, but if we're gonna go in there, it has to be a fast and sharp operation...

Me: Ok...we're going in, we're going in, oh dear lord, there's a guy fixing computers and mobile phones there...

Boyf: Don't lose sight of the target! Pink dress, pay, get out and then thirst quenching...

Me: Ok, ok ok *spots pink dress immediately*. comes in blue as well...

Boyf: Blue looks cheap. Pink is better.

Me: Ok, ok, ok... oh my god, it's £7! That's disgusting...

Boyf: The till is up there...

Me: *Wide eyed* The jewellery is £1 a piece or 7 pieces for £6... wow, this is very very mint (Susie Bubble language for 'It's so bad, it's cool...')...

Boyf: Pay!

Me: Wow... I haven't paid for a dress with cash in a while...

Boyf: Let's get out through the back door.

*We leave through the suspicous looking side door at the back*

Boyf: I think I could smell 'cheap' back there...

Me: I feel really really dirty... let's go to Beard Papa's and stuff ourselves with cream puffs just to go completely mental...

Anyway IMHO THIS is how you dress up for your blog:

Definitely - some of these outfits as they are look ridiculous to most but to me it is F.I.N.E. to see that someone hasn't forgotten that the realm of the Internet and the Dress Up box can still be anybody's most fantastic fantasy.

Susie Style Bubble - I salute you.

xx Lektrogirl

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In an interview, boxer Mike Tyson denounces Desiree Washington [the woman he allegedly raped and went to prison for] as "just a lying, reptilian, monstrous, young lady. I just hate her guts. She put me in that state where, I don't know, I really wish I did now. Now I really do want to rape her and her fucking mama."

xx Lektrogirl


Wednesday, 18 June 2008


TWO TIMES IN ONE DAY!! First my Auntie sent me an email about the YearOfTheDragonWikkid.doc which is basically a number/list thing chain letter. I did it just because I was actually really busy today and when that happens, anything to procrastinate. The upshot of the Auntie chain email thing is that Pippa Brooks knows me well, Jasmine is my Lucky Star, the song A$$ Clap by Khia makes me think of Silverlink, I connect the song Hairbraider with my ex Paul [I know!! MEGALOLZ!!] who I really care about but just don't get along with This Guy's In Love with You by Sasha Distel is my state of mind and I'm In Luv With A Stripper is how I feel about life. SO RANDOM. I am supposed to pass the email onto 9 other people due to the number I wrote down at the beginning of the whole questionnaire but as I really am not into this kind of thing at all I wasn't going to bother.

Then LOW AND BEHOLD Pippa Brooks you know my top lady friend cursed me with a plague sent to her via Paul Gorman of the Look Presents Blog.

The rules are set by Simon Reynolds [dunno who he is]: “List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.” Only I don't know 7 other people who write blogs so I won't be spreading this around. It is true - I am that self obsessed. However please if you feel the urge feel free to post your top 7 as a comment to this post. Remember you can post with Live ID [remember that hideous moment when I had to switch of anonymous posts cause of the shit stirrer trying to make trouble between me and my ex and his new girlf? LOLZ - it didn't work! The 'alleged perpetrator' of that posting crime is now single. I hope they are crying their eyes out on their pillow every night... Awww that wasn't very nice of me. But that is cause I'm such a bad person I guess.]

So here are my 7 tracks:

Khia My Neck My Back

Well I am not ACTUALLY listening to this song at all - but it is rolling around in my head due to the substantial neck injury I have sustained recently. I have to comment that my neck has improved a whole lot more today after receiving an amazing massage that I was trying not to enjoy too much and keeping my knees together cause I was in the presence of children as well as a total babe. Khia always reminds me of Pippa - because she used to have the Thug Missus CD. That is still a joke like 6 or 7 years later.

Amon Duul II Archangel Thunderbird

I KNOW!! A Prog Rock track made by Krauts while lying in bed and tripping on acid. In fact the comments on YouTube are like "chaos6270 (1 month ago) best version of this is on the live in london album did some good trips to that." SO NOT ME but I love this song. Please excuse the hideous video. It was the least offensive I could find.

Kap Bambino New Breath

I'd also like to sneak in SAVE by Kap Bambino as well but I don't want to expend too many of my choices to the same band. I think I might have post them before as well.

Roger Miller Dang Me

This song reminds me of my father getting totally shit faced and listening to his Roger Miller album and singing this song over and over. I remember him from when I was really little driving home drunk, coming out of the car covered in sick and my mum having to hose him down in the back yard.
There are a number of Roger Miller videos on YouTube but only from when he is an old man with too much Botox.
Okay so obviously it looks like I dunno WTF I am doing cause I forgot about this song SLK - Hype Hype and but liked the story of my vomiting father. The Cardinal and I after enough to drink will be bouncing down any Dalston Street getting all Hype Hype. Oh and old jokes! I used to crack Nameless up singing round the house "Hype Hype Lotion Hype Hype Lotion Gonna Get You Wid Da Hype Hype Errrrghhh".

Scooter Maria

This version is the remix of the original song, featuring Dick Rules, and DJ Mark Acardipane. So fucking hard to pick which Scooter song I love the best but this is pretty fantastic. Guaranteed to get me super hyped at the right time! Watching this makes me miss all my family in Hamburg that I never get to see enough.
And OMG you need to check them out back in the day.
Okay and before they were a rave band, they were THIS:


Pineapples Come Closer

Best song. I love this so much. This is how I feel when I fall in love and get all mushy and teenage again. The best feeling ever.

Ginuwine Pony

Those who know me, know that this song is on my ALL TIME GREATEST SONGS EVER OF EVER EVER EVER and whenever it comes on where ever I am I am just flipping out all over the room.
Like these two...
I am trying to make head or tail of this video as I type. I bet her mother must be proud. And I bet that guy is really proud of himself.
So awkward.
And who was the camera person?

And as an aside to this whole 7 videos thing

J Smoov in the parking lot. How is that that kids the the UK can only come up with shanking in the 02 centre carpark here in Finchley Road? Shouldn't they be up to a load of sexual healing in the sunshine good times with their homes after training on the track team Stateside?

xx Lektrogirl

Another reason why I hate writing lists like this is now today if I were to list again, it would be TOTALLY different. I mean, I forgot Sexy Results that I listen to once a day, In Flagranti, Tom Ware, Hikashu, YMO blah blah and DJ mixes from all my favourite usual suspects - DJ Venom, DJ Guy, Bok Bok & Manara, Goon & Koyote, Bitch Ass Darius etc.

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Tuesday, 17 June 2008


Hey everyone, I have to say sorry. I've been lying flat on my back for the last two days with the sorest neck muscle spazz out since days. The Cardinal came over with bread, three cheeses, prossecco and pain killers. Oh and an Old Jamaica. She also brought her new R Kelly record over 'Why U Wanna Play Me'. Tears of joy. Silverlink, my doppelganger (I mean LOOK at us both - tall, shaggy hair and glasses), has kept me company online with chats of cake, coffee, ganache, macaroons and praline. And now in bed all I can manage is to type this for a few minutes while watching a repeat of Law and Order SVU.

Please put up with me until I recover, or get a real soya latte from Milk Bar - whichever comes first. OH COOL! Real Life FBI files on telly now.

xx Lektrogirl

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Now I know what Thida saw in Nelly all along.

xx Lektrogirl

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love babies2, originally uploaded by All About Eve Babitz.

The closest to fanny he has ever been.

xx Lektrogirl

Monday, 16 June 2008


Yes, I was alive yesterday cause this is what I made.

Tho' animated

xx Lektrogirl

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OUT NOW!!!, originally uploaded by bok_bok.

BOK BOK AND MANARA MIX - nice for waking up to.

01 * Big MIDI intro
02 * DROP THE LIME - Like Thunder
03 * SCREAMA - Bones
04 * DJ DEEON - Ok
05 * KINGDOM - Bang (Vocal Dub)
06 * BURGA BOY - I Can Love You
07 * Oh Oscillator interlude
08 * MR VIRGO - Hypnotiq
09 * TRC - Freak Me ft ZOE & SCREAMA
10 * BOY 8 BIT - Suspense Is Killing Me (DROP THE LIME remix)
11 * NASTEE BOI - Mussy Mad '08 ft E-MAN
12 * AGENT X - Skanked
13 * DJ ABSURD - Hats To The Back
14 * A DOT R - Flippin Hell ft GRINDSTARR
15 * LEIF - Black Magic
16 * STICKY - Ganjaman
18 * DJ DEEON - Acceler8
19 * JON E CASH - War
20 * DJ MATABAYA ft DJ VR - O Puro
21 * DS1 - Lockoff
22 * JUMPIN' JACK FROST - Pornography
23 * MIDI Nation outro

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Sunday, 15 June 2008


Top Stylez, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Big day at Lektrogirl HQ - and dressed for the occasion. Here I am sporting a particular favourite outfit for rest and relaxation.

The PJ pants were some old one's of my Mums she gave me when I was in Tassie cause I was cold. Deep red flannelette originally from K-Mart men's department.

The XXXL sized t-shirt is a second hand number. Also a gift, this time from Jacob when he came to stay one time. On the back is a big diamond and it says 'Big Phil'.

The hoodie is one of the best things Paul's mother gave me for Christmas or birthday or something. She would send boxes of Ralph Lauren stuff over to us each celebration along with Bissinger's chocolates.

Anyway basically the work I am doing in creating the world's worst gif's for a video that Carri is making. It is amazing! But last night I ended up hysterical with fatigue.

xx Lektrogirl


IT HAS ALL BEEN TOO MUCH! My mother even had a go at me about something.



I wonder if CSI Nick Stokes would love this song cause he is often driving along listening to music like this on the way to a crime scene.


xx Lektrogirl


Well after being smooched to death a little while ago [but kept my lacey knickers on]and getting quite hot under the hood of my casual Ralph Lauren striped hoodie, I was only left to wonder, as I was leaning over my table trying to write a map back to the tube station whilst being manhandled, if the gent in question was an A, B, C, D or E.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 14 June 2008


A photo journal by Michael O'Neill.

I read the news that R Kelly gets off scott free.

Dressed like a washerwoman I pose seductively for The Air Commodore with my skeletal finger.

I ensure I am in every shot that The Air Commodore tried to take.

I have to pull the Photoface [TM] at least ONCE no matter what is going on.

And here I am with the guy on the bus I picked up earlier at the club. His t-shirt says 'work out'. TOTALLY my new boyfriend.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 13 June 2008


R Kelly received a not guilty verdict from all 14 jury members today in court today.

There is a God and his name is R!!

xx Lektrogirl


An original composition from a few years ago with some video.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. and where I be at on the w-end

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It's 3.50am and I'm blogging from my phone. Let me tell you what really bugs me about my upstairs neighbours. One of them REALLY snores really loud. It doesn't help that I had fantastic coffee at Sean Paul's girlfriend's house last night keeping me awake - or that my head is bouncing around between spiritual taxi rides, apologies, wanting to have a baby (I KNOW!!!), wondering 'what ifs', wondering where my life will go next. But I would actually prefer to hear my neighbours fucking than the mronic breathing of someone who is reatively hot.

i still don't know the name of their child - Coco the dog is still there - but I saw the child with his mum outside the Whittington and it's a boy. Coco is definitely not a good name for a guy unless he's a clown.

i think they have woken themselves up with their snorig. I might try sleeping again. And with a bit of luck, the neighbours might start having a fumble - cause it is about that time of night, isn't it.

xx Lektrogirl

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Who is in the hot seat this weeeeeeeek? Poor-sha Foxx from Atlanta’s V-103 radio station…. Poor-sha…..Poor-sha…Poor-sha…..How dare you try and disrespect the Queen????????????? Bitch…. You fell in the booby-trap and gave me the ammunition that I needed!! Yesssssssssssss! You looked cute in your orange suit!!! LMAO!!!!!! We all the same behind them walls… Did they turn you out in there Poor-sha????? Ohhhhh… I forgot….. You was bull-dagging before you went in!!!!!!!!

Nowwwwww……As yall know from the blog I wrote last week about hating ass bitches at these radio stations and at BET…… We have some serious problems that need to be addressed because there’s some serious hating going on ….. These bitches not wanting to play the Queen’s music and the Queen’s videos!!!! Refusing to play requested songs and turning bitches mic’s down during interviews…….Cheron of Detroit Senior!!!! See….. I am tired of you hoes tryna make interviews one-sided, screening calls allowing all the haterz through! Having a bitch on your show for drama to gain ratings…… And I have been intercepting the ball on you hoes……Taking Nasti Muzik to VICTORY!!!

This bitch invited me on her show and didn’t ask one thang about my album…. Dis bitch still bringing up old shit, still mad about me roasting her ass 6 years ago! Talkin bout……She didn’t like my video… You crackhead drug addict….. The only video you ever had… Was on Fox 5 News when Dekalb County was carrying your drunk ass to Rice Street…. Why didn’t you wanna talk about that Poor-sha????? Why didn’t you wanna talk about that felony drug possession, driving under the influence, driving with a suspended license and expired tags Poor-sha????? Let’s talk about that!!!!! Let’s talk about how the last time you tried the Queen…. You lost your job and your house…. In less than 30 days!!!!! Oh….. I forgot….. You did have another video…. The video of your house burning down after you intentionally set it on fire for the insurance money!!!!!!! Chile boo!!!!! Let’s talk about it Poor-sha!!!!!!! Why you in there hollering security…..Tryna make the listeners think that I was in there acting like a damn fool……. Now they see that you was the only fool on the set!!!!!

How could you even think about trying me after all this dirt I got you???? Poor-sha…. Poor-sha……Poor-sha???? You are a pussy-blower!!! Bitch why did you have security in there with ya??? Were you scared??? You had every intention on starting some shit with the Queen!!! Tryna make it seem like a bitch was acting immature and ignorant!!!! Bitch dats just how you were acting……And I got it all on tape…… Bitch you was looking stressed and disturbed and I was smiling and looking fabulous the whole time! Cutting the mic down and over talking my fans…… Bitch was you high???? I got you on tape doing this unprofessional shit…….Looking like a damn Ant Eater!!! You like bird trees and nose candy….. You drunken bitch!!!!! Gold teeth and tattoos… Is that all you could come up with Poor-sha???? Gold teeth and tattoos is Hip-Hop bitch and I am a representative of Hip-Hop…. The female Pac…. Bow down Bitch!!!!!!!
Nasti Muzik 08!! Im here to be the voice of those who are coming behind me… Im the only bitch that is strong enough to put you bitches on BLAST!!!!!
The Queen has spoken….And enough is enough!!!! Imma let the people know about the real Poor-sha!!! The nasty, conniving, slick-slimmey Poor-sha… Bitch Imma have your job cuz you are officially fired!!!! Remember Me…. Uh-huhhhh!!

Bitch you were jealous and intimidated, you tried to hate and come for me but bitch you fell for the booby-trap. Full promotion for Nasti Muzik 08.… The streets are talking…..And its not about you, Stephanie….Are you any kin to Slim Cutty Calhoun??? Bitch you wanted me to put my foot 6 ft off in dat ass…That’s why I had my hair pinned up in a bun ready for warrrrrr!!! You betta had dat damn security in there!!!! With your lifeless, drawed up ass… I thank you for helping me expose the haterz that lurks at radio stations!!!!! I got your blank ass on candid camera!!!!! You proved that what I had been blogging about is true! Radio stations are some hating ass bitches… Be sure to watch the full video on Myspace/Khia or under Khia on V-103!!!!! Team KHIAAAAAAA! Another touchdown!!! Nasti Muzik 08!!!!! Be sure to request the music at your local radio stations, BET and MTV. If they don’t play it, change the station!!! Its 2008 people and its time for change!!!

Number1 With or without them, the streets are talking!!!! Nasti Muzik 08!!!!
Thanks to my baby Weezy for all the love that he sent on the Carter 3. My baby said……. Yo back, Yo neck…… Funny how the song aint got old yet… To us!!! Nasti Muzik 08!!!!LOLOLOL!!!! Don’t get comfortable!!!!!

Posted by Khia on Sunday, June 08, 2008 at 4:29 PM

Wow - Khia is one eloquent and succinct bitch!

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 12 June 2008


I have just discovered the most hideous video online of all time. I don't know how I end up there on the internet. I don't even know what this one is. Please don't watch it. I had a delicious cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit this morning and now I just want to lose the lot...

DO NOT WATCH THIS UNLESS YOU ARE CRAZY. Seriously. This is worse than the cyst movie.

xx Lektrogirl

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What a bunch of raggedy ass hoes. But amazing song.

Nice ass / rims combo.

xx Lektrogirl

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God - I'm so dramatic. But you have to agree, this is one of the most beautiful songs ever. And how can you not love a big tall man called Teddy singing about love? And in perspective only The Cardinal has a clue anyway. And she won't tell.

Oh totally separate to that, [my band mate from Pussycack] Jo had me in fits all afternoon after telling me all about DIAF [die in a fire] and both of us concluding that the Single White Female "SWF - SFW? DIAF. cheers." I was snorting all the way up Raydon Street!

Anyway - perfect day PERFECT PERFECT.

xx Lektrogirl

Wednesday, 11 June 2008


June 21!! Yep! R Kelly, Ginuwine, Bone Thugs... Oh my knickers are wet already.

xx Lektrogirl


Sorry for any delays... this wont publish for some reason...

It was the Linen Anniversary for Nameless and I the other day. It felt like Friday the 13th had come a week early.

I walked all the way to the chemist to learn I left my wallet at home, had to go back to get it. Yawn. Stepped out the door again and twisted my ankle a bit on the step down and fumbled my footing. All the hot estate boys down the road with their tops off and grey sweat pants on cracked up laughing. Then I noticed one of them was the jerky French guy who thinks there are spirits in the house at the end of the road and just hangs around pestering the tenants.

When I was young, my Dad used to have this orange t-shirt that said 'Have A Nice Day' in big letters, with 'Until some bastard comes along and fucks it up for you' in little letters underneath. There are people who really try. I have some happy memories and they aren't ever gonna disappear. No matter what anyone tries to demand from me.

My Dad has been sending me really funny and cute texts lately so I haven't had much to update with the John Davidson Fan Club via email. He always texts on the weekend to ask if the Cardinal and I are on the piss and to tell us to have fun and to have one for him. He likes to know if we are chasing boys and if either of us get lucky. I'm looking forward to the weekend already cause I know that the dramas of this week will be over and that The G.A. will be sending me texts from his wheelchair at home.

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 8 June 2008


Kenji Ko, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Here is my friend Kenji from Hong Kong. We went to El Parador in Mornington Crescent for dinner tonight. He is here for an exhibition project to do with the British Council in Hong Kong and alumni students from each year for the last 60 years. He beat 10,000 other people for his place for the year in 2006. His piece Digitiis being exhibited [again!] in the UK.

xx Lektrogirl


after Lektrogirl, originally uploaded by **caz**.

Go for it Cazza! HAHA Amazing!

xx Lektrogirl


From: khriskhaos2
Joined: 1 year ago
Videos: 25
Please login to subscribe.
Added: September 29, 2007 (More info)
Click This To Learn New Dance Moves
Watch That Video & Comment Please
This Is A 10 Minute Dance Tutorial That You Will Not Regret Watching.'
I have been requested by over 300 people to make a serious dance tutorial on how to dance for women. This video is for both women and males.. i know alot of girls dont know how to grind and are embarrassed to dance for their boyfriends so ladies u can learn from this because it looks even sexier when done by a female.

this will not work when done for EVERY single girl.. alot of girls don't find this sexy at all,but i guareentee you that the MAJORITY of women LOVE to see a guy dance this way.. it turns them on and it makes them wonder if you can move your body like that in bed..

The easiest way to figure out if a girl will enjoy watching you do this.. is to find out what TYPE of music she listens to..
If she listens to any music artists that mostly talks about sex.. that means she will LOVE to see you dance this way and will be wishing she was there to dance with you..
here are a few examples..
Pretty Ricky
Jagged Edge
J Holiday
D' Angelo
Justin Timberlake
LL Cool J
Lil Kim
R Kelly
Bobby Valentino
Brandon Hines
If the girl enjoys listening to any of those artists... theres a good chance that she would love to see a guy who can do these freaky dances.

I Have A Myspace Page Too

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okay let's do this, originally uploaded by brennheit bakst.

Stuff you find on Flickr at 6.30am...

xx Lektrogirl


Saturday, 7 June 2008


So, I just got a MySpace message from a guy who tells me he thinks I'm like the girl in Wearing My Rolex. I haven't stopped laughing since.

And as for the 'foxes' in the video - I haven't seen that much crushed velvet since 1989 and Cathy Dennis was fronting her own songs.

xx Lektrogirl

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£169, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Yeah - in lieu of posting anything for a while -and the last two posts were a bit heavy - here is one of my usual frivolous titty posts.

Yesterday I went to Harrods and went 'shopping' which is my new hobby. This Dior bra is SO HOT! I LOVE it! Although the fitting rooms in the Lingerie Department there are ice cold [I have a heart as cold as ice I heard] and I wondered if it was to make everyone's titties pert and the turn down the sweats, but then maybe the air con was just bunk.

I also went and had a very late lunch in Ladurée and earwigged on a middle aged woman take her parents out for lunch and guffawed to myself as they chattered away in French. I got to sit in the black room this time which was a first. I liked it in there. Possibly this was the best club sandwich I ever ate.

A visit to Ladurée of course is not complete without buying some macaroons - which I scoffed before going out to meet The Cardinal and the Air Commodore for drinking and fun at Cocadisco. Complexxion was DJing and I didn't know anything about him before last night other than he has something to do with my friend Manuel's label Citinite. I was pleased cause he played Destiny by Two Sisters, which is one of my super favourite 7" records that I always forget about.

Complex Simplicity

After his set he got talking and - this doesn't happen often XXCENSOREDXX. [I can't remember his exact words.] Anyway, Complexxion is JOKES. XXCENSOREDXX.

But back to matters of a more ladylike nature:

I went again to Le Péché Mignon the other day for a Croque and a coffee. The man in there remembered I wanted some chestnut paste but they had already sold out again since I had been in last. He went upstairs and got me some anyway and I am SOOOOO thankful. I also could not resist the Confiture pour Madame [rose hip jam.] The Cardinal and I keep talking about afternoon teas. I have been feeling so stink bad mood lately with bad dreams, grinding my teeth, angst and anger that a quick lunch at Le Péché Mignon was really all I needed to cheer me up. And even better news - they are opening the garden at the back of the place! I can't wait! I wish I knew their names, I can't keep saying 'the man' and 'the woman'.

And being a total glutton, later that night The Cardinal and I went to Bodeans for dinner.

Check The Cardinal's hand - she has hand cramps from knocking one out over the size of the ribs.

I got to tell The Cardinal my story about Guy Ritchie. One time I was in there eating dinner and Guy Ritchie and his minder came in. Ritchie surveyed the menu from his seat and called out to the kitchen staff "Is this place Kosher?". Which is fucking hysterical given there is a giant neon pig in the window. Mega lolz all night about that.

xx Lektrogirl

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Sorry that the majority of this post is written without proper capital letters etc but it stems from a comment I was going to leave on one of Manara's pictures - but didn't cause it was veering off topic a bit.

it is a shame that people have to go for cost instead of being given the opportunity to choose ethically. a lot of this is just driven by the business of the stores people shop in. i was in cos the other day - which i have to prelude by saying i never went in there before but was just checking it out after philippa said it was nice to see me in some non-vintage clothes one night [lol] and i noted that all the garments were made out of the same cotton sateen fabric [like a standard flat cotton.]

organic ethically produced sateen is not a stock fabric, it needs to be ordered and woven specifically for a buyer. the minimums for the fabric are like 10,000 metres or some crazy shit like like that - and this is in a colour called greige - prepared to be dyed. then you can get that 10,000 dyed into different colours [whatever the dying minimums are] but this cost prohibitive for even the most dedicated independent designer. but for a store like cos with some of the range made from the same fabric AND part of the H&M group which could also use this fabric, 10,000 is actually nothing to the fabric consumption to a company like that. what i am trying to say is it would just take a few high street stores to change their mind about what fabric they use and create a demand for it and turn it into a stock fabric and make it cheaper for everyone to be able to use it.

As for the pictures, suffice to say I left empty handed.

xx Lektrogirl


Tuesday, 3 June 2008


Okay so here I go again with the calculations:

Garment retails at £7.99 [including VAT]
Net price = £6.80 [x3 markup]
Price High Street Store perhaps paid for garment [net] = £2.26

If the garment was bought from my fantasy company FashionFix, the garment is worth [minus FashionFix's own the markup of x2] = £1.13

So that is £1.13 on the cost of the garment and £1.13 for it to be worth the company FashionFix to manage the design and production of the garment.

So, what exactly goes into the £1.13 cost of the garment? Well how long is a piece of string but consider all these:

- the fabric for the garment
- the printing and dying of the fabric for the garment
- the trims [buttons zips etc] used in the garment
- the thread to stitch the garment
- the labels within the garment denoting brand, size etc
- the cost to cut out the pattern pieces for the garment
- the machinist to put the pieces together
- the person who presses the garment
- the person who folds and packages all the garments for shipping
- the cost of the packaging for the garments in transit
- the profits of the factory who makes these garments to cover the overheads for management staff, the electricity in the factory, maintenance of the machines etc etc
- the shipping costs of the garments from the country of manufacture to the UK
- the duty that must be paid on imports to the UK. Items from India get charge 12.5% import duty on the goods at customs.
- the cost of the hangers
- the cost of the swing tickets [the paper label of the brand]
- the cost of the kimbles [the plastic things that hold the ticket to the garment]

you know - blah blah blah

I'm really sick of people saying "Oh I got this at YadaYadaHighStreetStore for £6.00" because I can only wonder "How the fuck can it be only £6.00? Everybody gets screwed for this garment to be only £6.00"

In my perfect world, everyone would learn how to sew. Also everyone will be recycling their clothing and try and buy vintage where possible. There are more clothes on the planet than we all need [I should know - most of them are in my wardrobe...]

Anyway - whatever. So suffice to say I didn't actually buy anything in H&M but just stood listening to a guy saying to his girlfriend "How many white shirts do you already have??!!" and she said "I don't have any - I keep ruining them in the wash."

Oh and I was also in Offspring moments before wandering into H&M. I felt like I had walking into a spinning Rubik's cube of vomit coloured plastic with middle aged men looking forlorn with neon Nike's in their hand.

I turned and left.

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Monday, 2 June 2008


I'm alone in Strada - I tried everybody and no-one's interested. Someone would rather go raiding supermarket rubbish bins in search of food than hang out with me. Seriously. I'm earrwigging on 2 Queens having a rather entertaining coversation about one of them moving to Australia getting everything wrong. So cute and funny - getting Perth and Sydney mixed up and talking about dogs barking at them after getting into a fight in Trade.

Wandering around Camden I went into H&M thinking it was still HMV. I couldn't believe how cheap everything in there was. A dress for £7.99. Made in Cambodia. So I worked out the maths in my head. H&M would have probably a 300 percent mark up on the wholesale or cost price depending on whether the garment was bought from the kind of company who supplies stuff for High Street stores, or if everything is in house. Because I'm also trying to still earwig on my neighbours, let's say that the wholesale price is approximately £2.80. This means another company (for arguments sake lets call it FashionFix) has produced this garment and sold it to H&M. FashionFix would have made something like 200 on their cost price. Dinner is here - I'll publish this and finish it later.

xx Lektrogirl



Drinking in the sounds, originally uploaded by Michael O'Neill!.

When I review this picture taken at the party at the Macbeth on Friday night, it is no wonder I spent the whole weekend in bed / on the sofa watching CSI DVD's and avi files. I have finally seen the conclusion to the cross over episode with CSI and Without A Trace. Jack Malone is SUCH a jagoff.

Anyway - this picture not sure what I'm wearing but I thought it was a great idea before stepping out that night - kind of a pseudo dirndl vibe - but after a night of action and sambucca shots [JUST FOR THE RECORD I DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE SAMBUCCA] I looked a bit creased and less angelic as the sun came up. Not as bad as some I hear who woke up in a pool of blood. As I left the Macbeth and walked past the school there, there was a couple who had jumped the fence I'm guessing for some trespassers sex or something - but all I could hear was a girl saying "Ouch this is laddering my tights!!" If anyone round here watches Law and Order we all know what happens next: they realise they were fucking on a dead body.

Anyway let's change the subject to something less gruesome. It was the twins birthday last week and judging by Pippa's Flickr page, the boys have gone for a big boys haircut at Cuts in Soho. Duke had been asking for a haircut like Samuel L Jackson.

And he was super-pleased with the results. I would be too if I looked that cute after a haircut!

xx Lektrogirl


And the latest from {Dance Pg}DEM BOYZ can get U(_)U FILL IT N

You can see that they are making nice use of the Window Movie Maker there. And also in this video as well!

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 1 June 2008


New Problem Solvers video from Paperrad

"This could be the best day ever. I'm not being negative, this could be the best day of our lives."

Also, here we have a snippet from one of my favourite shows when I was growing up - The Curiosity Show. This one is from the 80's but I was watching it from when I was way younger - like back when I was still into FatCat. I can tell this one is from the 80's because of Deane's Canterbury Rugby shirt. It is a Harlequin one - and I also had one of this when I was at high school for wearing during P.E. classes. Which I hated. Anyway basically The Curiosity Show was these two nerds doing science experiments on afternoon kids TV. I would say very similar to CSI in a way. The them song to The Curiosity Show was also very cool and quite trippy. Not the Nickelodeon version from later years FYI.

And here is Fat Cat:

xx Lektrogirl

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xx Lektrogirl

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Here is the latest tip from Sara T that I want to post on the first day of summer here in the UK and dedicate to all the men in my life - I think there is a role in this video for all of you:

xx Lektrogirl

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