Sunday, 28 February 2010

I HUNG UP HER

I was on the phone to my mother. She wasn't following what I was saying. I got frustrated and I just wanted to get off the phone as quickly as possible from this woman that gave birth to me but I don't even know how I can be related. She had a go at me for being uncontactable. I didnt answer my phone because I was watching Mad Men. I find it the most painfully empty show witheveryone so frustrated and sad and short lived happiness and the rest of the time they are just drunk. It reminds me very much of my father and the men from Dalgety. I haven't spelled that right I don't think. My Dad would come home pissed every day. My parents would argue. The house seemed dark. But maybe that is because it was a giant house in Adelaide built for the hot weather. In the garden were willow trees, hibiscus and pomegranite plants. We had ducks and a turtle. Dad had a sizeable mini bar. The garage and workshop seemed as big as the house. one day I made up a game after I made myself a wig from paper just so I could sit on the bed and be a doll. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to be still and have the day pass.

Xx Lektrogirl

A CHRISTMAS HAM AND A RONNIE


Four Eyes, originally uploaded by thenakedsnail.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 26 February 2010 23:45
To: Emma
Subject: RE: some more pics of all the same things


Yeah loneliness IS a curse in many ways. Irember living in Burnie(NTas) in a five roomed brick house I bought from a local baker. Prolly got some photos of it somewhere? Ifound one of a young lookin bloke of 51years holding his 2 bestess friends, sat sitting in an armchair THE cat, hypolyte, a Siamiese and A lABRADOR, sally-SILLY AS WHEEL BUT A GOOD MATE, i've told you before about Hippy, OPEN front door and Hippy would claim her spot, run up my suit and sit ou my shouldertil We wentto bed.YEAHMATE, FOR ALL YOUR MEMORIeS OF ME BEING 'ORRIBLE TO ONE dog wotad just dug up me new plants, But Ive had some good anti-lonely pets Funny you saying you were 37, Whenever your age cimes up, I always think 31. Then I look at the pictures on the door and think I've made a mistake. You only look about 21.
The chances of winning 5000 bucks before you get here are about 14000000 to one. Pretty slim odds kiddo. bUT IF i can get the anti offa tight arse I' keep trying. i'll seeif I can swing a bit out o my'BURY ME ACCOUNT whic she has in my name and redirected from my pension,,
FARK, LIKE HER OLD MAN old bill used to have heart pangs opening his bowels a work out/
Got to gp kiddo..catch up with ya later. Luv yer aging pa, 37?

you look like a yong maidXXXXXX

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DEGHUOOYDDRYJI

Cant think of a better name than the above. Pissed again in the back of a taxi - cherry sour cocktails.

Met with the Lektrolab girls talking aboout the things we did. We never normally talk about it much or congratulate ourselves on what we acheived. we talked again about the superflex social pudding project which is one of my favourites. I miss Mikael come to think of it. I should visit Denmark again. Maybe the collective Lektrolab will do something again but this time more about having ideas, coming together and networking, sharing knowledge. I would like to have an endless dinner table and cook for dozens of people.

I would like him to kiss my neck with his hand on my tit.

The other Him Mrs K and I found out from Dora was born on Sunday and beats people with a cane for being wicked. But because He is Sunday, it is like being mad and throwing a stone at a computer and then straight afterwards feeling sorry He did it. That is Sunday people.

And I haven't written about Paris yet.

Xx Lektrogirl

A4 PAPER & CHRISTMAS HAM

Tonight, I ended up at BANGFACE making anus jokes with A4 in my work clothes. I'm at home now with my favourite love kneading my Christmas Ham stomach of course as happy as anything, drunk - we started with the G&T at 3.30 today with the Saint Honore I made for Troll's birthday - wondering what it would be like to have a 2 minute fumble in the stationery cupboard after all the talk of creases and papercuts and one does (or at least I do. I'm sure men do. Maybe there's something wrong with me?) and tomorrow its Mrs Kipling's taxes (they should have never revealed her face in the ad's!!) then brainstorming with Covvo and then Sunday it's The Architects taxes. Don't you want my life? Errrr - sadly I love organising things. Except I didn't enjoy having to sort the 2 years worth of mail I had left unopened inside my front door.

Tralalala what a rambling stupid post.
If I thought about it I should have said about the video Jess is schooting for Ceephax. Uggg. Tired now. Night night.
Xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 26 February 2010

IM A FLUFFY GIRL



xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 24 February 2010

PATE A CHOUX

I'm going to put on my apron and make some pate a choux from my fancy new old cook book.

My heart is SINGING!

xx Lektrogirl

Monday, 22 February 2010

BACK TO WORK TODAY


WRAIR F1752, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

It was good. But I wish I had more hands. And I wish I had £12,000 to enrol in the Patisserie chef school.

xx Lektrogirl

Sunday, 21 February 2010

CP 1786


CP 1786, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

ABOUT TO LEAVE

A cannot stuff one more sweet thing in my face and I'm craving frites and mayonaise or something - bacon sandwich, baked fish, tom kai, poached eggs.

Au revoir, Paris. Je t'aime.

Xx Lektrogirl

DERRR

Yesterday was spending money day - but all on a shoestring budget. What I want to know is, how can you buy beautiful knickers in Paris for 8 euro with all the right spots, ruffles and super soft fabrics and 14 euro bras that fit well but just over the channel in London, the equivalent is scratchy, looks cheaper than it cost, fits like it was designed by a blind dog and is usually hot pink with plastic crystals. Answers on a postcard please.
It is seriously no wonder French women walk well and have great hair - they dont have their finger in their knickerline all day.

So obviously I wandered around yesterday and this is the derrr part. Anytime anyone says 'Did you visit the Marais?' I say 'Oh no I never go there' thinking it was near the big Arc or something. It dawn on me yesterday that I usually spend most of my time in the Marais - not only cause I like the area but whenever I go I get lost which is fun - but when you have an agenda and the GPS on your phone swings between to locations its a pain the arse. What a fucktard.
After that I tried to visit a shop on Faubourg de Montmartre where you could get your auro photographed. It was closed down and the space now sold nasty shoes, bags and nylon scarves. So I went back the otherway past all the fancy dress shops, through some cute shopping arcade, and back down to rue/ave Montmartre to a specialist cookbook shop that I knew sold vintage books. I dropped some serious euro on a 1956 patisserie cookbook. Not only food porn disgusting cakes which I love, but the book has every starter recipe for all the basics - genoise, brioche, pate - the one with the circumflex on the a not the acute on the e, choux and then every french cake ever with the permutation recipe. Afternoon teas for summer here we come!

Xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 19 February 2010

PARISED OUT

Today is a day I need to read the guide books again, check the bank balance and regroup before I step out into the lovely sunny morning it is here.

Yesterday I went to the Musée Dupuytren and saw all kinds of body parts in glass jars from the 1800's. Looking at the babies and two headed unborn puppies wasnt so bad, because the babies DID look like Cabbage Patch Kids. The wax mould of vaginas with clitorises that were baby penisese NBD. What I found hard to stomach were the slices of heart, brain etc etc because it looked like some of the weird offaly food you see round Paris which makes me feel sick in the same way. But after that - I don't feel so compulsed to see the museum of skin disease waxes which is probably more up my street.

The best thing I saw in Paris - and this was last time I was here - was the mineral museum at the whats-his-name and Marie Curié University.

Last night I was GUTTED to hear that I will miss the Fifi Chachnil shop opening in London on Saturday after Pippa sent me a text invitation. I will never forget the epic afternoon that Pippa and I spent looking for an elusive Fifi shop here in Paris and we were so fucking happy when we did. So thrilled in fact we bought A LOT.

Actually with that little dream over, I might check all my friends blogs to see what they are doing for a little inspiration.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 18 February 2010

JUST A THOUGHT

I saw myself in the mirror and it dawned on my the reason why I hate going out is because I so absolutely hate every part of myself. I just feel like I'm wasting the space of anywhere I go. Except at home. Wherever 'home' is designated for that week.

Xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

Slow morning and taking the opportunity to check some emails on a laptop rather than my phone. The GA has finally made it out of bed into the computer room:

emmsie young mate. one, I DECIDED THE PRUNINING OF rose could wait another day, when they told me, the resident comp was up and running, so I thought i'd be sure to get a glimpse of morning tea from your e'mails? WHICH MAY i ADD ARE GETTING MORE GUT ENTICING AS YOU COOK? OR SHOULD ONE ASK 'CREATE'?Bloody caps lock, OR MORE PERTINENTLY A WEAK BRAIN? w.f.brain?

If I don't make reference to furry bottom she'll prolly muck my computor up again!
How yer goin' Hobart? Has the mistress stopped beating you yet? Wot are all those brown bruise marks on yer fur? Give 'r a good scratch for me, duckie.
I'L EMAIL ANOTHER TOMORROW. IN PLACFE OF THE indescribably badly written effort I had started. Couldn't take the chanceof your boss seeing what a dunce your father must be.
the young woman who overlooked my effort to write, who at 20 years had nevever seen a pen to write with before in her life, expressed considrable amazement when she saw the pen dipped in ink then leave readable marks on paper,
Then SHE SLID THE LUNCH TRAY TOWARD ME AND DEFTLY PUSHED THE INK BOTTLE OFF THE TABLE, Quink everywhere. She was stunned, 'OH' that's what ink is'? Talk about dumb blondes, JESUS
Me back oesn't like sitting up after 4 or 5 monts of lying down. Getting old kid, So's yer mother, old and cranky, and meaner than her fsther. Still we won't continue in that vein, nothing can be gained by complaning about the unchaingeable. I could give me ammunition for tomorrows effort, nearly hd another slight heart atack when the news showed the train crash in Belgium. I always have turulations when Europe gives nasty news.always wonder whre you were at the time,
Corned beef 4 lunch, Not a great meat eater cant' stand the thought of the beasts previous slaughter, maybe I;ll grow up one dayy?
Cheers to u both. Fight te good fight, Give my regards to Mrs Danzer(?) spelling
luv from the old fella.XXXX

And then yesterday another one:

you ought to expand your cakeartby adding the odd symbol.Religious. Arsenal logo 'We are the very best!, I think, or up yours, even just plain old bollox. tHAT WOULD MAKE EM COUGH ON fheir Maccafukkinroons. Just come in from the garden bit, working with no brace around me upper body. bit painful now. but every little helps to get a bit of strength and weight back. Down to 74 kilos at the moment. But finding it difficult to eat meat. THEA.B.C. Doco of Chine hanging beatifull dogs so their blood congeals in the meat, Made the meat sweeter for eating. mate. iFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PUT MEAT, any meat into my gutsfor the moment. TThat last pic of a ferraal was of Philippa's black furry monster. Right?. i'll have to dob you into Hoby. SeeYOU KID. HOPE YOUSE ALL KEEPING WELL? Luv ex yer DadXXXX

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INCIDENTLY

Institubes - Paris from James Pearson-Howes on Vimeo.

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Wednesday, 17 February 2010

APRES LE SHOPPING

Today was burger lunch, G Detout & Mora - two kitchen supply places, Astier de Villatte (full of rich Americans and two more of my two goblets.) Left thinking 'save the money for Darys' cause who knows what kind of piece of bijouterie I will find in there. I got the bitchy red head - avoid her at all costs. She makes any simple request a misery. each time I have been in there and asked for something and the shape of a Rat she said 'We don't have any rat jewellery' and with persistance I have left each time with something ratty. This time I couldn't be bothered with her and after the 'No Rats' I left thinking I will maybe come back to look at A de V again and try and get the brunette. Off to Angelina and totally macarooned out. Especially as they weren't all that. Back to Stalingrad hideout for a post sugar nap, dump the madeleine tray and think my next plans.

Xx Lektrogirl

CONFUSED IN PARIS

I'm in the metro on a train blogging. Yes that's right. Mobiles work here.

More shocking: I just saw a French woman hogging a chocolate muffin over a bin on one of the platforms. In Paris, with all the patisseries, how can this happen?!

Xx Confused

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

THE HOOKER HOTEL

I really love my hotel. It won't be to everyones taste. Some rooms are by the hour. The couple next to me in Number 9 were very loud for all of three seconds.

I have just had the greated day. Macarons and then after, I think I possibly had the best dinner of my life at Le Torquet in the 15th.

Tomorrow, I have a three page sheet of suppliers for professional kitchen activity that I a m going to cover as much of as possible. And on recommendation of Polly at Le Cordon Bleu, if I have done Laduree and Pierre Herme I have to go to Angeliques at Les Halles.

Folks you will not believe the pictures I am amassing of my travels. I can't wait to show you. Thanks to Mrs K for recommending the Panasonic Lumix which I bought in Singapore.

A demain

Xx Lektrogirl

MON DIEU

Sitting in 'the winter garden' at Le Cordon Bleu feeling like a total dick while other dudes who are in their kitchen whites who obvs have just had some test going 'hoho it was easy peasy' and 'yeah i just burnt myself'. Bahbahbahbah I'm feeling nervous.

Monday, 15 February 2010

THE HOOK UP

I don't want to spoil everything and blurt out the whole story without pictures. Tonight at a restaurant within walking distance of my hotel (and I have to confess I LOVE 2 STAR PARISIAN HOTELS!!!!) and even closer to Le Cordon Bleu I went to Belsomething for dinner. On the way out the chef was shaking my hand and I told him I was nervous about tomorrow. He said 'Who is the chef? What time is the class? I will come and say hello. See you tomorrow.' I'll report back.

Back in my hotel all the Africans left the living room so all is quiet. Except for all the noise coming from room 309.

Xx Lektrogirl

LE TRAIN

Outside, it is already dark. There is a lot of snow. I would love a cup of tea.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

THE LADY GANG


1958 - Dupont, originally uploaded by myvintagevogue.

Mrs Kipling is behind the camera dressed similarly but with brogues on her feet.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

SNOW DAY GO AWAY

I am loving this sun coming out at the moment and hating the snow when it shows it sneaky face. Determined I wore long thick socks and a knee length skirt and flimsy knickers with lots of layers on top. The walk to the tube station was bitterly cold.

It cleared my head after the endless glasses of red wine and a stolen kiss with someone most unsuitable on the landing of the fourth floor.

xx Lektrogirl

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

TODAY LONDON NEXT WEEK PARIS

a.k.a. My Love Affair With the Macaron

So how many people have I told the same story to over and over

I'M GOING TO PARIS TO LE CORDON BLEU TO LEARN "THE SECRET OF MACARONS".

I was talking to Mum on the phone this morning asking her "What other kind of cake is hard and a bit fiddly that you have to practice loads to get perfect and even go to a class?" and she said "Profiteroles?" I told her I already made those and they were easy. Maybe not perfect, but successful enough on the first go to not feel challenged. Sponge cake - I have totally cracked it. I have struggled with cannellés and clafoutis - maybe that is the kind of thing - but nothing like a macaron. If you serve a macaron, people are amazed and always say "HOW DO YOU DO THIS? Is there a mould? Do you drop it into something hot? How do you get it so smooth?" etc etc etc. Anyway I have no clue as to what I will learn in Paris but I am getting HELLISHLY excited. And I feel a bit sick/nervous about it. The confirmation letter even tells you what you have to wear in the kitchen.

So - with this level of thrill in mind let me tell you first of all about Mrs K MEETING PIERRE HERME at the new Selfies consession where she had to photograph him for work. I had about 5 missed calls from her that day as she attempted to tell me "MOVE YOUR ASS HERE IMMEDIATELY" and as I said in my previous post about it [and apparently MISQUOTED and then got berated for it afterwards and I told her "Okay woah like fine but I will just blow it up all over the blog about how you yelled at me LOL brb gtg my nbff just logged on bye".

Oh Buddah where was I? Oh - about to eat this gift of personally selected macarons by Mrs K from Pierre Hermés own hand.





Here are a few views of the macarons at The Cardinals house. Please note the china. Also in bottom photo bottom left please note the sliver of marmite toast available for palate cleansing.



You may remember if you even care, these were the ones I had in Paris when I was there last from Pierre Hermé shortly after getting silly stringed by three pre teens on a skateboard outside the the Pierre and Marie Curé University mineral and gem museum.

So The Cardinal and I were in a gifted position to be able to truly assess the macarons in the privacy of her living room in front of an open fire, sipping Earl Grey Tea from china cups and a variety of cutlery to best perform the operations of peeling apart the layers.



Not the first time I have done this. Remember Nantes?



Sorry lost in a K-HOLE of macaron reminiscing and checking on the Danish cabbage in the kitchen.

Back to Pierre Hermé. There seems to be a whole divide between Pierre Hermé vs Ladurée and who's is better and whatever. I am going to say that on the whole, I prefer Ladurée. I like to know that what is labelled as Rose is going to taste like Rose. Admittedly I do admire the adventure of P.H.'s "collections" but I think the ratio there is too much filling to macaron and I am not a big fan of chocolate & fruit together at the best of times. I think they are both marvellous though. The only macarons I ever that that were awful were the ones in Nantes - the really tasted like lipstick, shampoo and shower gel.

With all this preamble, lets get ourselves to Sunday afternoon when I had a tea at The Crib with a selection of O.G.'s in attendance: Covvo, Alex T [the sub editor], Ella, Fi and the Cardinal. Hobart was also there but her presence was only felt when she scratched the Cardinal and singed her whiskers on a candle. For my guests I presented my take on cream cheese & radish and egg mayonaisse & quails egg sandwiches. Followed by a selection of macarons made in my own exclusive kitchen and two cakes. Oh and Champagne and tea.



These were Bailey's and Hazelnut. Total fail in my opinion but Alex T was more than happy to take the ones we didn't eat home with him at the end.



These were Campari and Blood orange on the left and Lavender on the right. Both lovely.



These were Basil, Pinenut & Honey with Lime. They totally cleaned up. Unfortunately they are a visual fail - see the brown bit? Slightly over done but did not affect taste.

The success of these makes me feel a bit less nervous about the class in Paris. I have to say, I had a very jolly afternoon after heinous weeks at work. The cookbook was planned. I will even be doing a chapter on Chinese food. It will be one page long.

"Don't fuck with it and leave it to the Chinese."

Although since then, I have been thinking about macaron recipes on that theme.

My lunch is ready now - braised fennel and Danish cabbage. I'm going to go eat it. You can be rest assured that I will be reporting back in detail from Paris all about how I go. PLUS I have been in touch with Goon already to discuss the restaurants we will be visiting! YERRRRRR.

xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 8 February 2010

Boys Baseball Team


Boys Baseball Team, originally uploaded by discoverblackheritage.

HOBART HATING BALLOONS


Hobart Hating Balloons, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

This is how I feel about the snow.

xx Lektrogirl

Sunday, 7 February 2010

THE FAMOUS DORA


Dora The Ignorer, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Hi Everyone

I just want to introduce you to Dora. She is on the phone, she doesn't have a crook shoulder. She was on the phone to her Pastor [the nice one]. There was a Pastor from Ghana who phoned her later over a little bottle of oil that she didn't even want that he said she owed 2 million for [Ghana money] and he said he will curse her and he she thinks that she is powerful but only Jesus is powerful but he will put a curse on her. Then he ran out of credit and had to hang up. We laughed. Then Dora got on the phone and rang this man in Ghana. I swear. I NEVER want to fall out with Dora.

This picture was taken before I spilled a kilo of flour all over her while we baked together. I showed her how to make genoese sponge. I made one and it stuck in the tin. She ate the whole thing, handful by handful in one go while it was still warm.

She doesn't always wear that wig. Her sister did it for her. [Not her real sister - just like Joe who called from Birmingham is not her real brother although to have a real brother who went to The Netherlands to buy a Hummer to sell in Ghana in the Summer probably wouldn't be bad but Joe is not a real brother cause he is only a friend of an Aunty who is not even a real Aunty.]

The conversation she was having with the nice Pastor here in London was about a white couple who separated and the man got custody of the kid cause the woman is a "drunka".

xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 5 February 2010

T.O.T.A.L. MEGA OOMMGG

Mrs Kipling met Pierre Herme today at Selfridges. She said I'd shit when she told me who she met. Not only me, but when I told Cards, she did too!

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

AMM 553


AMM 553, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

I don't like posting pictures in portrait. I prefer landscape.

Monday, 1 February 2010

WISH I COULD GO TO WORK LIKE THIS TODAY!


Vintage Photo, originally uploaded by fun old new.