BEST ON OFFER?

Bored, I checked out the H&M style guide and came up with this classic outfit. Oh God.

In other news, XXCENSOREDXX told me all about how he gave a blow job to a middle Eastern cab driver. All went well - BUT THE CAB DRIVER STILL CHARGED THE FARE!

Massive LOLS

xx Lektrogirl

PENIS POWER

Something Mum and I were talking about on the phone made me think of this old video and send her the link. So, lets go back in time and watch this video and reminisce about one of the greatest moments in YouTube history.



"Mechanical jack-rabbit for the clit"

xx Lektrogirl

OUR SEX LIFE

Ta-Dah! I have an announcement to make.

Valeria and I have been working on a new development called:

OUR SEX LIFE

We decided that lameatnames.com was going very well, but to be fair to all the people we had collected, we should be also posting ourselves online. As well as creating instead of just collection. And we are equally obsessed with sex, lust and most of all, losing. So we started a thing in wordpress - it isnt really a blog - that is like a skeleton we will fill with blood, sperm and broken hearts to flesh it out. Sadly, we haven't wuite resolved how we will deal with some of the more recent posts are actually historical - you might be looking for updates but we have been scanning in stuff that gets archives in 2005... actually I don't know why I said that "to be fair" business. Like who cares? They didn't.

Anyway, some things about osl.lameatnames.com [osl is said like asshole btw]

DEFINITELY not safe for work [Air Commodore is leaving his job anyway]
DEFINITELY gonna have gross private stuff on there about V & I that you might be too grossed out to inspect [Feel a bit weird about The Cardinal looking - she's such a lady]

So I think I have been clear enough. Something is just nice and nothing too.

Et voila osl.lameatnames.com

xx Lektrogirl

PREGNANCY DOLLS

Read all about them here at one of my favourite blogs, Morbid Anatomy.

MORE WEIRD SHIT

Errr, thanks for this dude whoever you are via email to an account I never advertise anywhere...

FAUND #3 ALREADY SOLD OUT

Oh God and there I was going to tell you all about the fabulous new FAUND magazine to which V and I contributed as lameatnames.com

FAUND #3, DECEMBER 2008
Handmade, 60 color pages featuring cops and criminals as image-finder guests.

We were asked as criminals cause our host kicked us off for the porn content. Not that surprising really.







Only there isn't a lot of point cause they think they are sold out already AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A COPY. Cry.

You can read about our misery here.

xx Lektrogirl

WARNING NOT GOOD FOR WORK

Here is an advance warning that this post is not suitable for work.

View the picture here if there is no-one standing behind you and remember to empty the cache on your browser

A friend of my sent a picture of himself getting a blow job because he knows I have an appreciation amateur porn in reference to lameatnames.com

N.B. ALL EFFORTS TO HIDE THE IDENTITY OF PERSONS IN THE PICTURE WAS DONE BY MY OWN FAIR HAND

I had to sit and look at this picture for a long time. And wonder - what is this? - and why don't I like it. I have nothing against the guy. But I realised I hated the knickers and the tattoo of the girl. Also, I think I can conclude that I am not into Photobooth porn. However, I do appreciate the fact the picture was sent in the first place.

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV, originally uploaded by s manara.

FROM MANARA'S FLICKR - another fucking hilarious rant and another reason why I love her:

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV

I put my headphones on immediately. FUCKING CUNT i hate this stupid twat so much she is everything that is wrong with the world today. reinforcing unachievable aspirations, FOR FUCKS SAKE IF YOU CAN'T AN ORGASM THEN FINGER YOURSELF WHILST GETTING BANGED OR GET YOUR MAN TO LICK YOUR PUSSY IT'S NOT HARD. FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNFORTUNATE AND CAN NEVER HAVE THIS, THAT'S THAT A TV SHOW WON'T HELP WILL IT YOU FUCKING VIVACIOUS BUBBLY CUNT. i also hated how she was like 'oh i have nice shoes, and nice pets, so what's missing?' err my shoe kicking you in your fucking cunt? AND she has a boyfriend! i know she's doing it for the money obv but god. i hate how the female orgasm has been standardised as a tangible, set experience that can be analysed by a tv show. besides, most of the world is conceiving without orgasming, i'd love to see her go to bangladesh and teach village women about orgasms. it's not like she's correlating orgasming with power hierarchies or autonomy or anything, the premise it is literally her being unsatisfied with what she's got and wanting to ~dig deeper~. obviously it's mainstream tv and it's going to be shit and offensive but whatever

also i love how in the first ep they watched 2 girls 1 cup lol

Uploaded by s manara on 1 Oct 08, 2.09AM BST.

NOT ONLINE A LOT

As I keep saying I haven't been online a lot lately. I have been feeling so shit you really cannot believe. It is my old friend "Lost At Sea Feeling" back again. If you have these times too, then you will understand. Hopefully you do, cause that will mean you are normal. But yeah, I have even thought about killing this blog. I started off not giving a fuck about what I wrote on here and telling great gossips and having a laugh. But has timed has moved on, I have found myself biting my tongue more often and thinking "Fuck should I say that?" and deleting half a paragraph. And that isn't why I started this blog in the first place. It was never meant to be a music blog, or a look at my H&M outfit blog, or anything, it was just supposed to be my place to sit down and chat away. Rather than have 4 AIM windows open and FB all running at the same time. What I find disturbing is why do I suddenly give a fuck even?



My relationship with my longest love is going through a rocky time. The relationship feels pretty empty and soulless at the moment? Maybe it is the weather? Maybe it wasn't meant to go on forever? Like the old man at Ed's bar in Chicago [when he was propositioning me to go back to his house and strip so he could look and not touch] said to Paul and I "You too are good for now. Not forever. Just for now." I am even looking at jobs back in Australia because I am tired of life with my longest love. City of London - I don't love you like I used to. But then - maybe it is the people I know and don't want to know any more that are making me feel less inclined to venture out doors and walk your streets in my big black boots.



God - fuck it - I feel like I am living someone else's life if I can't talk about my own here.

It is so weakening getting finger fucked by a guy who "doesn't want a girlfriend" and the only dicking I got is when they dicked me round. XXCENSOREDXX. What a waste of fucking time. It was in essence, my first lesbian relationship. LOLZ.

In other news: another friend told me once that they never wanted to work with someone on particular types of projects and that she wanted it to be 'our thing' - I guess she was having a hating on her particular day. Because now time has passed and indeed the two of them are working on something. I'm genuinely happy for my friend. It has put my nose out of joint tho.
So maybe it is my turn to be the possessive lesbian and I should go round finger fucking women like I was the aforementioned man? HA.
Actually I think it might have more to do with my absolute horror about getting forgotten about which stems from childhood favouritism, my parents not coming to a school party, my father missing my swimming tests, bullied at school etc etc. [a moment to cry folks and could have possibly deleted the whole paragraph] And something I definitely will not talk about here. Unless I'm totally drunk and wearing heels.



And speaking of being a lesbian - Max was apparently having a conversation with XXCENSOREDXX about how much I love cock. It is always a bit uncertain with Max when he has a glass of Rosé in his hand as to whether it is Tourette's at that moment, or he had it while talking to XXCENSOREDXX, or was serious then or laughing now. Either way I found it funny. He teases me constantly about XXCENSOREDXX and how I should get with him. Personally Pippa and I think it is because Max's wants to vicariously have sex with XXCENSOREDXX himself. The thing about loving cock - Mum if you are reading this - that is what MAX said not me.

And for the first time ever, I will reveal a XXCENSOREDXX by way of a photographic clue:



He is one of the men in this picture. And I am certain that he must find me so attractive sitting here in hot pink polka dot flannel pyjama bottoms, a Silas red t-shirt, and orange Ralph Lauren sweatshirt I cut into a cardigan, powder blue Falke socks and red Chanel flip flips eating banana muffins I cooked for dinner cause I had nothing else in the house whining about my life. So seriously Max's match making would be worse for him than me.

Yeah I should go to bed. But before I do:



This is the part of myself I absolutely hate hate hate the most. Compared to everything - all parts of me inside and out. This is it. We can all see that I would make an excellent Christmas ham and where the surgeons knife should go or straw or whatever he would do to get rid of the grossness on the inner AND outer thighs.

Hello friend. We are back together again like we should be and I have no secrets from you.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #?!

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 14 September 2008 02:34
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: MY thanks for yr seemingly happier email.


The chapel is in the next room to this comp room, The Chaplain came and smiled at Max and I, then shook her head, wistfully. No hope for we two sinners, mate. Thiugh we are comforted by the thought that if Jesus loved sinners, we are due a bundle of love from the Hairy Ghost. O or off the cross.How'd you get the mozzie bites, Chalie? Not uncovering innappropriately in the park, I hope. Might be the same family of mozzies that bit my arse on V.E.Day at the end of WW1. I scored an A.T.S. SGT. She was on the Victory parade with us 'Old Soldiers(I was 19 and had four years under my belt including service in Italy. She was my first English blow through. The first was an ancient old Hungarian shiela in the snow in a paddock ioutside Trieste, Northern Italy. Her father was an Italian Mussolini Nazi. H e would have stuck a bayonet up me jacksie if he had found me on top of his daughter. I'm still here, so the bastard didn't see a mound of snow going up and down in the paddock. T.I.F.I He's dead now, for sure. So is she, I reckon. She was old enough to be me mother 60 years ago. FARK.
The bloody KIWIS DID US OVER LAST NIGHT AR RUGBY UNION Rhe black bastards. Though to be fair we were in front for the second half but we just hsadn't got the bottle to finish on top.
Thanks for he email, mate. You'll never know how much it brightens an otherwise pissy day when YOU commumicate with me. Thanks a lot. Keep up the good fight mate. Tomorrow Might be a better day. We might win the LOTTO.aND THEN WE HAVE TO BE PREPARED That we won't It's only muckin foney Cheers E.J. Thanks again. Kuv ex yer ancient DadXXXXX.

PRON

PRON, originally uploaded by pilgrim' s progrock.

CRAZY DAY

opp7, originally uploaded by carsick.

Today was all weird!

And I think that even the dog Coco upstairs is feeling it cause it won't stop barking.

I was walking along the street today and saw this:



I was on my way to Archgate for the usual but ended up having a falafel instead - a big mistake I thought. Then when I got home, Alex T rang to tell me all about going to an Art gallery and the conversation ended with him promising to punch me in the stomach if I ever got pregnant by anyone which is a sweet relief cause I don't think I could handle going to the dry cleaner and asking for one of those horrible coat hangers [they also ruin your clothes]drinking gin and eating green paw paw all in a hot bath. I think I would rather have Alex T punch me in the guts as hard as he can. I would even like it if he took a little run up. How that conversation happened I don't know and on that note we rang off from one another and I went to Waitrose cause I'm cooking a lunch for a friend tomorrow. I hope it turns out good cause he is on a par with the food fascism. I am just as guilty. Though I can't say what I am making now cause it is meant to be a surprise.


NOT the fire I am about to talk about.

On my way to Waitrose though, an old man scrunched up a piece of paper and set it alight and buried it in a huge pile of dry twigs outside someone's apartment under an overhanging tree on Magdala Avenue. I just watched him do it. As the flames rose and started licking the tree I was on 999 straight away and calling telling them my story. The owners of the house came out in the meantime and threw some water and kicking the bush stamping out the fire. I went up to them and told them what I had seen the old dude do. He was still sitting at the bus stop watching what was going on. He started yelling that he didn't do it. The guys from the house were calling him a fucking mental. The fire truck arrived. I needed to poo [sorry TMI!] so I went off to McDonald's. Etc.



And speaking of weirdness! You'll never guess who Japper's fancies like mad!! HOUSE!!! She said he is totally DREAMY! And she said the reason she fancied him is cause he is like EXTREME XXCENSOREDXX. Fucking LOLZAPOLLOZA!! Really good one. I wonder if I have to XXCENSOREDXX more of that.



And in further weirdness, I had a Internet chat with a friend who was in an Internet café at a nudist beach where he was hanging out with his father and his father's boyfriend. If I thought about it too much, I started tripping.

Anyway I hope you had a happy day everyone cause mine was pretty awesome in it's own little way. I'm not going out tonight though I was going to go to that thing The Cardinal and Antoinette are going to - bugger what is it called?! Can't remember.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. I hope you appreciated the nice Flickr finds I have exhibited for you too.

WARNING WARNING

So the next link contains explicit sexual content and is not suitable for minors or for the workplace. It is an external link so technically I'm not responsible for the content there.

But check this video of this girl doing herself with a cucumber - and then listen to the 'lyrics' of the euro dance track selected to accompany it. An odd juxtaposition no?

And just for the record, a friend came over to drop off the keys to their house so I can check on it while they are travelling. I said "You know I don't really have anything to talk to you about any more. There isn't anything I want to tell you." My friend told me they saw the Sexual Seduction XXX Snoop Dogg video on YouPorn. So I looked at it and it was totally yawn. I just wanted to make it clear that YouPorn is not something I regularly look at.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. this has reminded me of a funny story about an ex with a cucumber, butter and his bum that an ex of his did. Oh GOD mega lols. Some of the stories I have heard. Life is good folks. Life is good.

HERE'S MY FRIEND SARATEA

floridaoct, originally uploaded by saratea.

No relation to Alex, and only internet friends cause we never met. But I suspect sneakily from her pictures that we are quite similar.

I have to say a big thank you to Marisa and Sara though who both have commented on the most recent Leica selfportrait that I don't look ming.

Today has been totes weird. Well let's make that the last week. I feel like an eaten mango all turned inside out. I had to ask the Fambles to come over and just lie and watch TV with me for a half hour to get some normality back in my day. I spend too much time on my own in this house and end up telling people all kinds of dark things in the middle of the night that are too freaky [in a Rick James kind of way if he was into S&M] or crying over spilt milk.

Went to WORK IT with The Cardinal and Lord Fauntleroy, met up with Carri and bumped into Antoinette. Antoinette and I bragged about the fact we had no bra on each and flashed our boobs to each other then got a bit seductive with the dance moves - not overly though. Please don't start sending in requests for pictures YGM. I have to say however that if I was to turn that way inclines, Antoinette would be one of the first babes I hit on. Only after drinking a bottle of Malibu myself and plying her with another. Lord Fauntleroy pissed me off again by lecturing me on how shit Garage is and that it isn't a real dance music cause it is for the waist up only and proper dance music is for the waist down. For dancing like one of the Marley's. Then he did this very cool dance that illustrated his point succinctly. For such a total nerd he is a pretty special creature. But we both know that we are a total different species to one another so I don't think we will be going on a date any time soon. Nevertheless he is exactly the kind of friend I need. Except for the part where he told me I was a waist up dancer and he was disappointed. I told him that he was just cramping my style. Please Booty Carrell at this juncture stand up for me cause you know me so well.

xx Lektrogirl

OH YERRR AND FUCK ME - who was the cunt who thought it would be a funny idea to play Midnight Request Line or whatever that dubstep horror song is called and ruin my WHOLE party vibes. SO BAD. GIVE IT A FUCKING REST.

DELIRIUM / THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #10

I have spent the last days asleep, half awake, dreaming, imagining how I wish life was, dreaming, forgetting again, talking too late to randoms on facebook chats and now I am totally lost. I can't remember what I really said to anyone and what they really said to me. I would enjoy the feeling if it was accompanied by sore throat and sweaty brow!

I have had some really nice music sent to me [I know a bit weird but I was really into it at 5am the other night]



And I was reminded of some good times good jokes [I reckon I have watched this about 12 times]



I cried in Greek Street but was laughing by the time I got to Frith Street. Then I got to my street and delirium had started in.

Dad sent me another email:

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX.com]
Sent: 14 July 2008 06:24
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: appropos of sfa as usual except it passes the time talking to an intelligent person


One certainly gets tired of listening to the aged cough their lungs up, dribble, talk incessantly of their bowels, aches and pains, their children
who rarely come and see them, the 'orrible food, much of which appears to have passed thru a human body before,
(like mince on toast, brown, runny, smelly and sits on toast which has wiped a bottom . Suck it and see!. XXCENSOREDXX bloke sounds a bit suss? Not a criticism just a comment in passing. Knowing you, you prolly frighten the shite out of him? He might be a cock virgin? If you end up the duff you can always come home? I'll sign over my half the house to you so you can borrow some dough to start a business. DON'T GO BRAGGING THAT BIT OF INFO TO YER MA NOR SARA)D,H or i'll send a witch to give you warts on the private parts
Just eating a bag og Smiff's chips Original. BUT THEY AINT ORIGINAL because the original used to have twist paper with salt in, nearly 80 years ago. Jesus your old pa is getting a bit aged. Still God's Chosen, the Pope. is 81, He wears red slippers. I wonder wot colour his drawers are? Dpes the pope have to wipe his bum. or does he have a bumboy?Cheers Darling daughter. Try not to scare shite out of yer dere ol' dad. Keep safe. PaXXXX

Just for the record I don't know where The G.A. gets the idea about the getting pregnant stuff from! Totally random. Cause I didn't say anything about that to him! Jesus. Even my own father calls me a slut. But then everything I learnt about sex I learnt from him anyway. I remember him drawing anatomical diagrams in the columns next to his crossword puzzle for me. I remember also sitting in the dining room when I was a kid listening to Dad in the living room talking to Grandpa talking about all the women they had sex with when they were younger. They thought they were being really discreet but they were both deaf they were practically yelling at one another.

Okay friends I feel that if I go on, I will be writing more than I should and my astrology told me today to be more circumspect... LOL

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. If anyone wants to bring me some food please do.

SEX MUSIC PLAYLIST

Roachford: Cuddly Toy

Oh it is big jokes in my crew about the Air Commodore's mate Dan who's sex music playlist was the Roachford album featuring Cuddly Toy as recently as 2001. It is claimed he now listens to Grammy award winning John Legend. I wonder if Dan ever listened to Are U Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz cause it is kind of on the same tip as Roachford.

xx Lektrogirl

GOOD FOR PUNCHING

, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

My 6 year old nephew called me up tonight to tell me that he has watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [the movie] on DVD and that he electrocuted himself on the electric fence at his school. He goes to a farm school and gets to check out ducks and sheep and go on hay rides and stuff.

He has burn marks on his fingers like he was snipping at the fence using his fingers as scissors. That will teach him to mess around with electric fences! He said that it felt like his fingers exploded. He sounded pretty impressed with himself. He left out the part his mum told me later that his teachers note home after the incident said he took a long time to stop howling...

I finally saw the end of Dark Habits tonight. Definitely my favourite Almodovar movie in my Almodovar marathon. Another sad ending all about love and loss and longing. Which I think is a theme in everybody's life - and one of my favourites. Watching a nun wailing at the loss of her love was very satisfying.



Last night's movie, Matador, that I watched with Covvo was about death and sensuality. About primal urges. Some AMAZING outfits on the lead character - the lawyer who fucks men and kills them by stabbing them in the back of the neck with a specially crafted hair pin that looks not unlike a kebab skewer. Covvo and I knew we were in for a treat in the opening scene of this movie. The lead male character was jerking off to a movie of women being brutally murdered in horror films with just the death scenes having been edited together.



Antonio Banderas was also in this one as a psychic student matador who confesses to the murders of the other two... Banderas was looking pretty hot in his grey sweats on the hospital bed. But in the Almodovar movie Law of Desire he was SUPER HOT. I was really shocked. He has lost a lot with age.

Anyway - in town today picking up the final copy of Dark Habits and walking through Soho I noticed I was flinching whenever anyone moved to quickly through my personal space and it made me feel freaked out like I was gonna get robbed again. Hopefully this will soon pass.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #7

the cushion is on the chair Dejong's grandfather died in and he(your ex boy friend!) passed on to me. It is worn and tatty but is big enough to accommodate my arse. I quite often fall into a nap in it. I have had to find another hiding place for me pisso bags, since the pisso sister discovered where I hid rhem. The 'f' slag. I wouldn't pee on her if she was on fire, or touch her knockers if I had rubber gloves on. Jesus a man would have to be hard up.
GLAD YOU'VE GOT SOME GOOD MATES(fuck) Specially Max. Hard to believe that you are so near the house i spent a fair bit of my youth in. All three brothers have climbed the kindof steps around the front door to get into room over the front porch. We were all hell-bent to stick a bit into a bird called Angela. Mrs Shaw's niece, who was deh-initely a bit of a nymph. I reckon I must have told you about Bob giving her one against her front door(knee-trembler)wehen he heard mum coming up the stairs belo0w him. B ob dispensed his 'rice-pudding onto the carpet and bent down and covered it with the doormat, before ma saw his antics. Another time the old man heard Peter making his way down to her bedroom, so the 'old man' went hell-bent after him some minutes later. When fathwer got to the room he was stunned to find that P had used two frangers in such short time. Good luck to both of them. I'm stuffed if I know why,how, we didn't put her up the duff. We were eventually invited to her wedding to some poor barstard, though Mrs Shaw gave the three of us a bollocking for getting into a corner with her bottle of Drambhui Liquor! Being young wasn't real bad. Being old is a bastard!
If you went up the stairs in 55 till you came tho the penultimate flight. you would walk into the kitchen straight in front and the bathroom on the left' I the corner between the 2 door my old man had puta small shelf about bottom height.One day mum's maid, one Beryl ENGLEFIELD was poncing about like a horny woman so I hoisted arse up on to the shelf and gave her one. What did I hear but ma plodding up the stairs. Jesus! I managed to do me duty , whipped it out and ducked into the bathroom. I left Beryl there clutching at her skirt and drawers in a bit of a fever. But Ma either decided NOT to see, or thought the scene too distasteful to comment upon, because Beryl returned to work the next day, whereon I finished the job on my own bed. What a bastard yer dear old Popsie was/is?
Lunch calls buddy. We're in lock down. no visitors until the wog that spewed and crapped about 50% of the inmates subsides.
Thanks 4 the email. made my day, li ttle mate. Cheers, frae yer pa thedirty old b

THE BORING ONE

Dear Mathieu

In celebration of our conversation this evening, I have decided to curate a new Blog exhibition called THE BORING ONE with some of my favourite pictures from V aka the 'boring' one. Who as you know, I prefer to your last girlfriend known as 'the boy'. As for poor Julie, I am sure she would prefer to remain out of all of this.

So, for the grand opening of THE BORING ONE, please scroll down to view the pictures I have selected. Which you have already seen a thousand times before.

On curating this exhibition:
I love the internet. I love that people post the post intimate things on there. The most public domain. And then, often in private, thousand of people look at it. Thousands of people could all be looking at it in private all at the same time. It is mind boggling. I love it. There is no privacy any more. I love looking for people's secrets.

Et Voila.

THE BORING ONE
Photographs by .v


fantôme
Taken on May 26, 2008


Tu as dit laisse-moi te mettre dans un taxi si tu rentres chez toi dans cette tenue tu vas te faire violer et tuer et on retrouvera ton corps au bois de Boulogne.
Taken on April 30, 2008


ce n'est pas privé c'est un portrait/ I need you to hold on while the sky is falling
Taken on September 8, 2007


Taken on January 2, 2008


laideur fascinante de la décoration des hôpitaux
Taken on January 11, 2008


DSC09767
Taken on January 11, 2008


DSC08439
Taken on November 30, 2007


that night I fell asleep with the light on
Taken on October 4, 2007

POST SMOOCH

Well after being smooched to death a little while ago [but kept my lacey knickers on]and getting quite hot under the hood of my casual Ralph Lauren striped hoodie, I was only left to wonder, as I was leaning over my table trying to write a map back to the tube station whilst being manhandled, if the gent in question was an A, B, C, D or E.



xx Lektrogirl

MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOURS

It's 3.50am and I'm blogging from my phone. Let me tell you what really bugs me about my upstairs neighbours. One of them REALLY snores really loud. It doesn't help that I had fantastic coffee at Sean Paul's girlfriend's house last night keeping me awake - or that my head is bouncing around between spiritual taxi rides, apologies, wanting to have a baby (I KNOW!!!), wondering 'what ifs', wondering where my life will go next. But I would actually prefer to hear my neighbours fucking than the mronic breathing of someone who is reatively hot.

i still don't know the name of their child - Coco the dog is still there - but I saw the child with his mum outside the Whittington and it's a boy. Coco is definitely not a good name for a guy unless he's a clown.

i think they have woken themselves up with their snorig. I might try sleeping again. And with a bit of luck, the neighbours might start having a fumble - cause it is about that time of night, isn't it.

xx Lektrogirl

FAKE ASS NIGGAZ ON MYSPACE

And the latest from {Dance Pg}DEM BOYZ can get U(_)U FILL IT N



You can see that they are making nice use of the Window Movie Maker there. And also in this video as well!



xx Lektrogirl

I'M A BEAST

One of my favourite R Kelly tracks is "I'm A Beast". But is he?



So following the R Kelly trial on the Chicago Tribune Video's I note with interest the advertisement linked with the video is from a bedding company with images of little children bouncing all over the mattresses. Please no.



Here is the incredible coverage of the most important show business story since God only knows when.



So some important information relevant to the case:

Apparently the man in the video who is allegedly R Kelly does NOT had a mole on his back which is clearly visible on the real R Kelly.

Also Backstreet Boys are playing in the background when the alleged sex acts took place. I mean durrr... Wouldn't R Kelly play R Kelly?!

Sad to note:

R Kelly is really a bad dresser. He isn't a P.I.M.P. at all in the courthouse. He should have gone to Savile Row.

xx Lektrogirl

AN AGE OLD QUESTION

I always ask mbrain the same question "Can vegan's swallow?" cause he really razzed some girl once asking her the same question.

We spoke for a while on the topic and I have now done some research on the matter.

So from a piece on the Times Online by Dr Thomas Stuttford [mega paraphrasing]:

The Oxford Dictionary defines a vegan, as opposed to a vegetarian, as “a person who does not eat or use animal products”.

There could be hardly any substance that is more essentially animalian than semen, or one that has such an animal origin, even if the animal is your boyfriend.

Even if you didn’t swallow, you would still be using — by your standards — an animal product although you were not consuming it.

anyone who interprets being a [strict] vegan, all sex — whether oral, mutual masturbation or penetrative — that resulted in ejaculation would contravene your rules. This must be nonsense.

And Suzi Godson [mega paraphrasing]:

At Nerve, America’s coolest, smartest, most honest sex magazine (www.nerve.com), Tana, 29, a vegan for four years, navigates herself and her principles around this thorny issue by refusing to swallow “if the semen belongs to a guy who is not a vegan”. She has no problem with vegan semen and says that, as an aide to fellatio, a cream made from tofu is good.

Beer also sweetens the taste of semen and, fortunately, the big brands can be classified as vegan. Budweiser, Red Stripe Lager, Kirin, Cobra, Heineken Export, Hoegaarden, Rolling Rock, Beck’s and Kingfisher. Though beer isn’t the place you’d expect to find animal products, many are filtered with animal ingredients such as “isinglass” (derived from fish) or “bone char ” (charcoal derived from animal bones).

The filtering process leaves only trace animal residues in the final product, but if you are experiencing a moral dilemna about whether or not to swallow your boyfriend’s semen, then you sound like the kind of girl that this would matter to as well.


xx Lektrogirl

SEX & MORNING MUSIC

So finally the sun is up and you are all probably on your way to work. I wish I could share a cup of tea with you and anyone in my back garden.



If I could could eggs like this perfectly every time I would.

I would play some music for you.



Sexual Healing - Hot 8 Brass Band




Perfect High - Peppermint Lounge


And once I had post my photos from the toilets at the George and Dragon where we will probably never meet, some guy will post comments on my Flickr and I will feel totally violated

Sex Attack - Appareil



in a way I never thought possible. But actually I have d/l quite a number of his images to Photoshop friends faces onto should I ever need to.

xx Lektrogirl

NOT SUITABLE WITH A HANGOVER

As I have said many times before - Ramiro sends me the best YouTube videos.

This one I found on my own. Listen to the obsessions of the people involved.



I am now going to go an puke in a bucket for about three hours. 2 Girls 1 Cup might be more explicit, but in terms of grossness, it has NOTHING on this cause this cannot be faked. It is like 2000 VICE magazine gross jars rolled into one video.

xx Lektrogirl

Can I just reiterate again I feel so sick.

THE LAST DANCE

Well the other night was Abbie and Lee's going away party before they move to Berlin at the end of the week. I was sexual as ever.


Sadie, Cardinal and I say cheese but in our hands you can see two glasses of Millers Gin. Thanks to Cardinal, my life is changed. The world's best gin. I didn't even have a hangover or cry one self pitying tear. Maybe it wan't gin but pure liquid delight!


When I look at pictures of myself like this I see why I have developed The PhotoFace [TM]. Here Richard and I are imagining all the deviant positions Cardinal was being lured into with the array of men and couples who were coming up to her and buying her drinks. NONE of our scenarios were as bizarre as to what happened to me later in the evening.

One guest of the party, let's call him Alexander, arrive with three friends. One of the friends was a beautiful Polish girl, who's name I never found out. She was dressed in a look I would describe as Matisse Woman in a Red Room vs. Ken Done in silks and and a fake fur. So for the purpose of this story, her name is Matisse. There was another girl, who was dressed all in black with bright red lipstick. Her nose was a bit hooky. Her name can Meredith. She is also Polish so probably that wasn't her name. I could not tell which girl was Alexander's girlfriend - Matisse or Meredith. One minute he was dirty dancing with one, the next minute with the other, then the girls were kissing passionately on the lips. The last of the group, a very tanned French man in a grey woollen waistcoat with an incredible double zipper pocket detail was from Nice and Cannes but he was sick of it there. He told me my hair needed cutting. I just needed to go to the salon and ask for the French one. He was the only French guy there. Then it seemed that Meredith was his girlfriend - the were kissing and dancing. Meredith leaned in and told me that she had only met the French man that day. Matisse came from the bathroom with a bow of toilet paper around her head. She sat next to me and we began to talk. She asked Meredith if she was a bitch. Meredith replied how sweet she was and began stroking her hair. The pair of them kissed again. Matisse told me that Meredith was her sister. Then Alexander came over and Matisse had her hand up his top, while Meredith had her hand down his pants. They left, then Matisse returned to tell me how lovely it was to meet me. As I had no intention of becoming a fifth in their group I said 'Yes' and nothing more. But laughed to myself about how I attract these crazy people whenever I am around Lee and Abbie... A nice well brought up girl like me...


I was pleased to find out that my Bettina Rheims La Chambre Close book was now worth a lot of money. So I decided against pulling some pages out to frame and put on the wall. I will make a trip to the photocopy shop with it instead.

My four year old niece has started taking pictures herself. Here is a portrait of her two year old brother Tom:


She is also adding make up artistry to her CV:


And the last news from home, other than my father calling me a fucking Punjabi via SMS the other day [today he told me to tell my evil fork tongued mother to get fucked... such a charmer...] is Sam has lost his two front teeth.



Oh God - it feels like 4am and it is only 9.30pm

xx Lektrogirl

PHALLIC

Today while I was washing dishes I was thinking about guys who after you have had sex with them at some point - usually at a super casual moment - ALWAYS ask how big their penis is in comparison to other guys. Well no - they don't always ask, put this in the sentence: IF A GUY REALLY LIKES YOU, he will always ask you about his penis. If a guy has a big dick, he wants to know it is the biggest. If his dick is small, he wants to know how small. If his dick is neither big nor small he wants you to tell him it is bigger than normal. If his dick is bent, he hopes you don't notice.

The reason why I was thinking about this though was because I had been talking about Bratwurst sausages earlier that day with Abbie and Lee and was cooking some that night for dinner.


I wish my German was better than my French. But I guess everything happens for a reason. [Yes I eat this kind of food as often as possible. I could never be a Jew. Well except for the fact that my mother is also not Jewish.]


Look at this hot pig trying to seduce you into eating products made from him! Sexual! This is the bag from the German Deli down and Borough Market.

And while I am being all M&S about food, I was in Le Péché Mignon the other day - they know me know cause they saw what I wrote about their prickly lettuce and make jokes with me about it! I actually felt a bit embarrassed. I know! Me! - for a croque monsieur [obvs] and while I was there I was looking for some crème de marrons but instead I found these confitures - Les Confitures Extra de Christine Ferber - Morrello cherry or Apricot 'nougat' with Almonds, Honey, Pine Nuts and Pistachio.

Like I died and went to Heaven.

xx Lektrogirl