Thursday, 30 July 2009


One of the guys at work rolled up in a boat neck tshirt and love bites THE DAY BEFORE his boyfriend is due to arrive back in town. So he raced to the shop for some arnika. The assistant told him it wasn't gonna work but she used to use toothpaste so he came back with Colgate all over his neck. LOL. It looked great with his tan!

Later on I started making special needs Yothu Yindi jokes. Then 'Beyonce' said "Yeah its like a kid from the Make A Wish Foundation who's dream was to be a member of Yothu Yindi for the day!"

This joke may not work across continents but I cried all the way downstairs in the lift.

Xx Lektrogirl

Wednesday, 29 July 2009


Football Guy, originally uploaded by Michael O'Neill!.

The Air Commodore moved to Canada. [Why oh why!!??!!]

Since moving, he has had the new vantage point to spy on FOOTBALL GUY. Regularly, The Air Commodore posts pictures of FOOTBALL GUY'S workout in the building site, where FG uses all kinds of things to play different sports. Mainly, football.

In this picture, FOOTBALL GUY is limbering up to play golf. Which is a nice story because the mutual friend of The Air Commodore and I, The Cardinal, her brother has won some championship thing playing golf and is going off to somewhere or other in the middle east or Turkey or somewhere for a week to play in a competition.

It would be great to see FOOTBALL GUY at this level too.

Anyway I wish that The Air Commodore would start a blog about FOOTBALL GUY.

xx Lektrogirl

Tuesday, 28 July 2009


I saw this on Jazz's FB page. So long ago this video. Good times vibes though.

xx Lektrogirl


Monday, 27 July 2009


More cat, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

This cat and I are going to the vet today and I will find out for once and for all if it is male or female, constipated or has an anal prolapse, riddled with germs and needs putting down or infact the lovely little kitten it appears to be.

In other news, boiler fucked AGAIN. No hot water. Rain. Misery.
Snails ate ALL my seedlings.

But Minet Minou Hobart Didand whatever your name is and I are happy inside.


Saturday, 25 July 2009


Gilbert and George for kids, originally uploaded by S0nambulo.

Without the poo, but still excellent!

Speaking of poo, I am waiting to find some on the floor in my house or indeed the stinking wreck of a dead kittens body.

I have a kitten! Not the one I wanted, but the bro or sis of the one I wanted. The other one, Rags, was such a bitch, they were never able to catch her at the factory in Tottenham Hale. So, this one was given to me in a box and when I got home, all I saw was it's tail.

I can tell you about the tail. It is black with a while bit on it. And moves really quickly.

Understandably it pranged out and did a lap of the whole house like greased lightening and then ended up under the sofa. Then I saw it go somewhere else briefly and now I have no clue wtf it is. If you saw my house, you would think that this was impossible.

I'm seriously worried it is stuck somewhere and can't get out so have checked everywhere which has driven me further insane cause I can't find it.

This cat doesn't exist but if I write about it and make many people believe in it, the cat will exist. Then I can call the cat something like God or Allah or Jesus and I can spend the rest of my life hoping to pull a cheese on toast out of the grill with it's face on it and I can finally know what it looks like.

xx Lektrogirl

Tuesday, 21 July 2009


Bored, I checked out the H&M style guide and came up with this classic outfit. Oh God.

In other news, XXCENSOREDXX told me all about how he gave a blow job to a middle Eastern cab driver. All went well - BUT THE CAB DRIVER STILL CHARGED THE FARE!

Massive LOLS

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 18 July 2009

MILF sunbathing on the boat

Livin the vida loca

That last post was a bit depressing so here is some bubbly fun.

xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 17 July 2009


Reeve 16110, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Graves, Chatel Cheberry, France. Dead buried in trenches. 10/8/1918

Tuesday, 14 July 2009


A nice cat, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Saturday, 11 July 2009


This is the same woman who gave us the classic line "mechanical jack rabbit for the clit"

xx Lektrogirl

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How can you hold yourselves back from joining in the bidding for this wonderful Carltonware mug? What a cheery way to start the day every morning with your marmite toast! Join in here.


Pollock for kids, originally uploaded by S0nambulo.

Kandinsky for kids

Christo and Jean Claude for kids

Frida Khalo for kids

Yayoi kusama for kids

Yerrrrr a bit like making bones and dog masks for Phil Thompson and just as much fun I reckon!!

xx Lektrogirl

Thursday, 9 July 2009


So, to all my regulators out there: MOUNT UP!

I know it has been some time since I have given a full detailed report from my kitchen, but for those of you who follow my Flickr will have seen more developments in my kitchen in "my lost months". But y'all know me, still the same O.G., but I been low key and hated on by most these niggaz wit no cheese, no deals and no G's, no wheels and no keys, no boats no snowmobiles, and no ski's & mad at me cause I can finally afford to provide my family wit groceries.

TODAY THE BOOYAH COOK PRESENTS: CLAFOUTIS! Which just happens to be the easiest of posh desserts that you can make yourself and look truly incredible.

And I mean like you wanna run around talking bout guns like I ain't got none - what you think I sold 'em all cause I stay well off? Now all I get is hate mail all day saying that I fell off. What cause I been in the lab wit a pen and a pad
trying to get this clafoutis off?

If you don't trust my measurements which are still highly confidential and in levels of development stages depending on who's kitchen I'm cooking in, I suggest you try this one here by Jill Dupliex who also created the recipe for Mini Egg and Bacon Pies.

To describe Clafoutis - it is like a giant cherry custard pancake and an old school French dish.

Cherry is the traditional but I even I saw some YouTube video of some New York Jewish Chef where he used Clementines. [Didn't like the look of it but he was into it.] You could use any fruit though - see my suggestions in the secret recipe below.

500g fresh dark ripe cherries. Don't take the stones out - they are better left in!
3 tablespoons of icing sugar
1/2 cup caster or icing sugar
1/2 cup plain flour
3 eggs
1/2 cup cows milk [not soya - sorry.]
6 drops Vanilla essence or extract
Pinch of salt

The recipe above is the basic. You could also:
Soak the cherries in kirsch, amaretto or rum for an hour before starting.
Use apricots and nougat cut into chunks
Try figs
Pear and chocolate
Basically - you see it can be a fruit freestyle.
Use as much of whatever to cover the bottom of the dish you are using.

1] Turn on the oven to 175 degrees C.
2] Grease the dish you want to use with butter and then sprinkle a bit of your 3 tbs icing sugar over the buttered dish.
3] Put the cherries [pre-soaked in booze or not] in a bowl with the rest of the 3tbs sugar and roll them round til they are coated.
4] Cover the bottom of your dish with the cherries [or other fruit.]

5] Use a hand whisk if you have one and a big bowl and mix the eggs and sugar together. A spoon will do but you do look more OG with a whisk.
6] Add the milk, vanilla and salt and mix again.
7] Add the flour but don't mix it too much. Over beating it will make the final thing come out doughy and not custardy. The mixture should be quite runny and not like a thick-shake. If it is, add a little bit more milk.
8] Tip the batter over the fruit.
9] Put it in the oven for 40 minutes. It should be all puffy and golden going a bit crisp right round the edges.
10] Leave it to sit for a little while and it will sink on itself a bit - but don't leave it too long, it is better eaten warm!

This recipe is so Booyah I am considering this as the dessert for the next time I have a Lady Gang dinner at my house with the apricots and nougat.

If you make one, please send me a picture!

xx Lektrogirl

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Plant Watch, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

There was a time when people used to write nasty things about how I had nothing to do in my life because I was so busy writing about other people on the internet. In fact, someone actually wrote a whole blog post about how she hates people who are very much like me. [Shortly after posting about that scrawny model Agnes and how much she hates her, what she wears, and the life of Agnes etc and sounded very much like me in any post I wrote at the time. Quite an ironic juxtaposition I thought.]

Any - you must be all relieved to know that I have GOT A LIFE and involved myself in my own pursuits which are so interesting, like watching seeds grow. So here, in my new addition to my blog, PLANT WATCH you too can watch the "grass grow" so to speak. Here you can see that the Kohl Rabi and Romanesco Cabbage, Indian "leaves" and Tomatoes are all really going for it. The fennel and the pumpkin are a bit misery and there is no sign at all of the Chillis. These seeds are now 5 days old. They grow so fast I could almost update plant watch every 2 hours.

Last night I had a wonderful evening with The Cardinal. My bus terminated in Kentish Town so I called her and invited myself over for a cup of tea. What a surprise she had a bottle of red wine on the go that she had got in France with 7 other BOXES of wine... She let me taste the home made tomato ketchup she made. An inspiration! Plus sniff a few other bottles of alcohol and syrup she had brought back. THEN I WAS PRESENTED WITH THREE BOTTLES OF GRENADINE AND A BOTTLE OF MY OWN WINE TO TAKE HOME. Oh so lovely. Cards, I love you.

xx Lektrogirl

Wednesday, 8 July 2009


Boxfresh presents ... Come Grime With Me! from Boxfresh International on Vimeo.

Well done Manara.

x Lektrogirl

Monday, 6 July 2009


Reeve 3428, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Some days life is great, and other days are like cleaning out the latrines.

Lately I have had the misfortune of knowing the most unpleasant inconsiderate ridiculous person I have ever had the displeasure to be in contact with. I would like to thank XXCENSOREDXX for bringing this person into my life - another joy you have brought me. Although your "generosity" astounds me with the way you keeping "giving me these experiences from which I can grow and learn" I am going to have to say "Thank you but no thank you" and hope that you manage to keep yourself to yourself and watch that dick of yours - it is like a divining rod for misery.

xx Lektrogirl

Saturday, 4 July 2009


New Gardening Endeavours, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

So expanding my life into the middle aged realm I have taken up gardening. Pierre has been helping me clearing the little back garden chopping down trees - pictures of which some of you will have seen on my Facebook page. I was even out there today myself sawing down branches with the wrong kind of saw but having a go and loving it. I learnt today from trying to dig up soil that I am going to need a mattock. Foiled, I came indoors and decided to get seeding with my new little seed germinating peat things. What kind of seeds does a middle aged woman like me try and cultivate? I'm giving it a try with Kohl Rabi, Fennel, Romanesco Cauliflower, Pumpkins and some random seeds from India I found - Spinach, Eggplant, Tomato and Chilli.

And now I am at The Frenchman's house trying not to let my brain explode with what he calls "Easy Listening" and I call "Immenant Death"

xx Lektrogirl


It is not of course a holiday for me today - it's the weekend. But it is the first day in I don't know how long I've been able to ignore everyone and do things just for myself. Well having said that, I spent the morning on a bank reconciliation for a Client and their EOY accounts but that I find quite relaxing...

So I trollied myself on the C11 with my UDG record bag into DJ Venom's manor. I was hoping to get to Homebase and get my potting mix, seddling pots and peat seeding trays under the radar. I looked like rags [in a stripy French style GAP t-shirt n Jeans combo] and the whole experience was pretty bougie - coffee at Apostrophe, stroll round Habitat, buying cherries and blueberries for weekend baking - and as fate would have it, DJ Venom looking rather Miami Nice came strolling round the corner nearly Finchley Road tube. Shame on me and my unwashed hair. And how can I explain myself using my record bag as an old granny shopper for a sack of potting mix?

Xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 3 July 2009


An eBay auction not to be missed! One of the ugliest things I have seen for some time. "VERY STRANGE LOOKING ART POTTERY VASE". Join the bidding war here.

xx Lektrogirl

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