Tuesday, 29 September 2009

CHANGE OF FORTUNE

What a miserable figure I must be sitting here totally alone in a Thai resataurant with a heavy heart and a 'fuck you selfish using prick' running through my head.

Monday, 28 September 2009

LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

I sat next to a girl dinner last night and she has had sex with a women. I
asked her what it is like to eat a girl out. She told me that after getting
over how gross it is, it is much easier than giving a guy a blow job. She
said that basically with a girl, it is like having a giant smooch for a
while. Where is with a guy it can be be really hard work and become really
mechanical and monotonous. Interesting! Can't say though that I'm gonna try
it out any time soon. The only pussy I wanna get near is Hobart and her cute
little face.

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 27 September 2009

JACKSON SUNDOWN SHIRT



51140

A shirt that echoes an illustrious past yet settles comfortably and stylishly in the present – our interpretation of one worn by rodeo champion Jackson Sundown. Ultrasoft fabric drapes beautifully and has the subdued color of a well-loved heirloom. Shirttail bottom. Silk/cotton. Dry clean. Imported.
{ more information }
$128.00


POSSIBLY THE WORST/HILARIOUS/GAYEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! And "Imported" = Made in China or Mexico.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 26 September 2009

CHANGES IN ARCHWAY

My weekend of partying was not off to a good start when I fell asleep on the sofa 'just having a quick lie down'. I hope Naked Colour was a banger. Then I woke up with the start of a massive migraine anyway - non hangover so not fair! I would have liked the opportunity to have downed a few Blue Curacaos and lemonade for that. So took massive pain killers and after tidying before my new cleaner arrives today and going for a walk seems to have done the trick. Dora called to change the time on her first day! Bad!! My breakfast is here - the point of this post. Gtg. More later.

Xx Lektrogirl

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

PHILIPPA'S FAVOURITES


Philippas Favourites, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Errr awkward Phil...

xx Lektrogirl

PERFECT BOWS





I have some holidays coming up soon and funnily enough, I have discovered there is the 22nd Biennial of Illustrations in Bratislava. Whether I make it or not I don't know but I would love to go and take a look at old books and maybe there is a flea market selling them. This also looks interesting.

I already have some time taken up by going to Nantes to see my freants Eva and Puyo Puyo. Puyo asked me to bring a CD of the tracks I have been listening to lately. I told him to watch out because I have been listening to a lot of Aboriginal music lately. Not pleased. This is the guy remember who has the collection of 7" record sleeves that are "Sets Of Three"











And it was also the first time I ate oysters hand fed to me by Felix Kubin, which would have been quite romantic if I had liked the oysters. All I could do was imagine the oysters swimming around like the time I empties the blocked drains in my bathroom full of hair and globby toothpaste caught in it all grey and slimey.

So how I got from two beautiful cats with the most beautiful bows in the grass to that I don't know.

Anyway I hope you all have a lovely day as I am determined to do so.

xx Lektrogirl

Monday, 21 September 2009

MY PARTY OUTFIT


My Party Outfit, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

And as it as been London Fashion Week I thought I should document one outfit in celebration. This one was for Valeria's 28th Birthday.

Strapless evening dress from COS
Spotty kids t-shirt from the Salvation Army in Hobart with the neck ribbing cut off and re-hemmed
Sequinned bow tie from SONIA by Sonia Rykiel pronounced RICK-EE-ELL for fuck's sake!!]
POLO Ralph Lauren sweatshirt cut up the front as a cardigan
Black suede Robert Clergerie clog shoe sandal things that I bought in about 1993 or 1994 when I was still living in Sydney and dreaming of coming to live in London.

xx Lektrogirl

EVIL ORCHID

An art contest on A Journey Round My Skull - HOW EXCITING. >Check it out here.

xx Lektrogirl

Sunday, 20 September 2009

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB


The GA, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX]
Sent: 14 September 2009 02:00
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: hi from me and hobart


I can understand why you were taken by the Ferret, There is something attractuve about the way she looks into the world, if you know what I mean? Let's hope she pisses off the first horny tom that tries to give her a bellyful? Is your accommcdation big enough for ten more? ONY JOKIN. yOU COULD MAKE HER A PAIR OF CANVAS JEANS, IMPERVIOUS TO tOM'S ADVANCES.GLUE THEM ON AROUND THE WAIST WITH A CAT FLAP AT THE BACK WHICH YOU CAN DETATCH AND WATCH WHILE SHE GOES ABOUT HER FUNDEMENTAL BUSINES?I really (could strangle Caps Lock on occasion.)
The 13th day isn't a bad day for me. Things go radically wrong on the 14th. I detest the 14th.If things aren't right on the 14th they go wrong double barrelled(whatever that means?) How often do you read yer Email? I'm getting the daily habit, because I am afraid I might miss something interesting or even you have overcome the wallpaper hatw, and booted up? You're a MUST read!
Ithink I'll have to enquire about non-religious living. The Sal Army staff are quite stupidly full of piddling bible study crap. Then she, the CAPTAIN accuses me of knowing too 'DAM' much about the bible.
I asked her the other day. "If God made Adam and Eve WHO SIRED cAIN AND aBLE and cAIN SLEW ABLE WITH AN ASSES ARSE BONE AND THEN GOT MARRIE? who .t.f.TO? Ted Garner SAYS HIS SISTER. tHAT'S NOT MENTIONED IN THE bIBLE ANYWHERE. Ted Garner is an American Evangelist like our Billy Graham. Full of witty psycho babble and leave the money in the plates provided.
Driving you mad Kiddo? I guess you're prolly saying to yourself" the old man is full of the brown stuff?
\ Spose I had better let you talk to the Feral? She'ld prolly make more sense?Meeeiow. Luv ex yer pa. Don't you find typing after shagging about a mobile sequence of letters difficult? The position of the letters on a keyboard differ radically from the mobile positioning
Such is mate. Take care. Thanks again for the upgrade on the mobile, most welcome, but don do it again because it costs you a hell of a lot more to live than me.cheers mate.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

NOTHING LEFT TO PROVE


MACAROONS, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 18 September 2009

MY CAKE HERO



As I said to Philippa "This cake for Valeria is going to be like Phantom of the Opera crossed with the Olypmic Games opening ceremony and the first few chords of Teardrops"

Drum rolls til Sunday!

xx Lektrogirl

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FOOTBALL GUY UPDATE


Football Guy, originally uploaded by Michael O'Neill!.

"He was sat down eating something out of a box, I got my camera out, a car went past and then he was picking up litter again. He's quick as lightning. "

Thanks Air Commodore from Canada [still?!]

xx Lektrogirl

and another two for the Air Commodore personally xx

Thursday, 17 September 2009

WHAT HAPPENED

I don't know. I try and make sense of everything. But it just makes no sense.

xx Lektrogirl

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YERRR AWESOME

Goon & Koyote - Wellness Is Wild (Dre Skull remix) from FullDawa on Vimeo.

Prod : FullDawa .

Année : 2009 .

Réal : Sébastien Praznoczy



Here is a video for some awesome dudes from Paris.

x

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Tuesday, 15 September 2009

RIP MIKE LEYLAND



This was my favourite show when I was a kid.

Travel all over the countryside! Ask the Leyland Brothers!

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 13 September 2009

AFTERNOON TEA


Afternoon Tea, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I was having a great time anticipating eating my little scones this afternoon with the best jam in the world. My mother did tell me on the phone in hushed tones "You don't want scones do you? They are fattening!" Which means "In the last pictures of you I saw you looked like a fucking house."

Anyway despite the dampers of my mothers low opinion of me, I went forth determined to savour my afternoon tea [who am I kidding, it was lunch time.]

I turned my back to get a spoon and low and behold:



THE FERRET had her eye on it as well. Oh well. The scones with jam were still very nice. "Confiture de Madame" is rosehip flavour and totally banging.

xx Lektrogirl

THE SPATISSERIE


The Spatisserie, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I want to say how proud I am of this picture. It is an Ultimate Babe shot!! It is from the day last week when Cards and I went to The Dorchester and stuffed ourselves on cake. SO GOOD. Actually I might make some scones today to see if I remember how. Although I have been warned that Cards' scones are meant to be something else.





The best part was when we got asked if we wanted a glass of Champagne and Cardinal went straight for the cocktail menu. I can always count on her for something fun.

xx Lektrogirl

SHIT LIST

Everyone who loves me thinks that my ex is a jerk for all the grief he has brought in to my life. Sometimes I feel guilty for talking to him. Other than his divining rod for misery and simpering on YouTube there are some thing about him that I think are pretty awesome. Like this:



The New York Times also wrote quite nice article about his work that has quote from non other than Paul Peroni. The nice surprise at the bottom is that it talks about Superflex and the CopyShop in Denmark. Funnily enough, they are mates of mine too. You will have seen stuff on here before about them.

Today will be one of more sewing. I have a stack of African fabrics and vintage Vogue patterns and a kitten doing gnarly sofa surfing taking run ups and flipping over the back of the sofa like they are giant waves. Cowabunga dudes.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 12 September 2009

HAPPY

Yes that's right, that's me. Walking down the street snapping my fingers and clicking my heels, chasing birds, seeing rainbows and kissing butterflies. That's me! And see my little cat with a ribbon on her neck skipping after me with a smile on her face and her little tail bobbing along after her, that Her!

From a Ju Ju Grinzelwitch to a Springload Joyroo!

Bye bye bye bye bye bye. Patience has been a virtue and now I get on with my own life writing on the internet and tiling my bathroom floor.

Today, I got a day off from work for being over tired from working too hard and after a long sleep in I got working on getting things done.

[And maybe the night out with The Cardinal at Dehesa helped with a quick sprinting visit into Sketch from Miss Brooks while drink avocado and rosemary cocktails first.]

xx Lektrogirl

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

THE COOLEST GUY ALIVE

Philiet is the most talented amazing awesome dude ever ever who can make anything he touches gold - except getting a girlfriend maybe - BUT this is THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST. Totally wipes the floor with a giant sponge made from Eminem and P Diddy when he does a slow song.

Biscuits


Rabbit


xx Lektrogirl

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THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #26

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCESOREDXX]
Sent: 08 September 2009 05:06
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: MORE MACAROONS!


You could make a million bucks making macarroons like the ones in the email pics, Hotels, restaurantsets all the eating holes roundthe state,muckin fagnificent, mate. Even on the mainland. BUT w.t.f is a macaroon with pig init? IO have never seen macs with tomato etc in them.
I'm glad you told me it was a dog, I thought Hobart had gone through a sex change?
You must admit thise emails make more sense, relative to cost , for sure? My cost is at least $30'00 a month, 360 for the year, if I send you the money yeary the total saving would pay yer fare in two or three years. Nah. you'ld spend the money on a gold lead for the little free-loader.(free-UNloader on the carpet. Though I do remember the attachment I had for my Siamese cat (HYPOLYTE) when Iwas living on my own in Burnie. Also had me hound, Labrador, Sally. Effin idiot but they were good mates
They cot more than you think, when you add it all up. Vets fees, sleeping gear, best of foods. They prolly live better than us?
The Boss, Neree, just got back from African holiday. TODAY SHE GAVE ME A CARD SHE COULDN'T SEND THROUGH THE POST/ oNE ZEBRS READY TO SHOVE ABOUT A HALF YARD OF SNORKEL UP HIS MISS OF CHOICE. She coild be right. The old tarts would have had a heart attack, and some of the blokes a similar event, dying with envy. DISGUSTING!.
Cheers matey. Since when have you ever considered me the'boss'? That'l be the day you disrespectful shitpot.
\I got a pair of socks and a handerchief from the Sal Army. The card said You will be redeemed, for He knows your name.

He has to be pretty bloody good, mate I've had a few. Names that is, Johnathon Browne. John Alexander, Michael Patrick Byrne Long story mate. Stopped the law trackin you down. Sidestepped shielas who wanted to sue you for maintenance(maintainance)
etc.etc. Like I said, long stories, mate.
Cheers. Keep yer socks on. Treading in 'stuff' can be nasty. Luv yer. S'Ted Pa.XXXXXX. 3FOR U 3 FOR PUFFY BUM.


Subject: MORE MACAROONS!
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 2009 18:26:10 +0100

The dog belongs to my other mate Mrs Kipling. Her dog is called Frieda.

EMMA DAVIDSON


xx Lektrogirl

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MESSY DAY IN THE OFFICE

Still stuff everywhere, and she didn't even say thank you. Fried eyes. Massive overtime. Big time overtime. And hours of refiling and shredding.

xx Lektrogirl

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

MARQUIS

Thats what you get for trying to be like me. She Hobart there? I'm gonna get you and that isnt even enough, she is gonna eat you after you were already eaten.

What a lovely moon that is too.

xx Lektrogirl

Monday, 7 September 2009

MEAN GIRL

You are possibly the most hideous person I have had the misfortune of knowing and I knew right from the second I met you that you were vile.

Speaking of other mean girls, after trying to walk the kitten on a lead [that is to say get the collar on her and drag her on her side to the back door with it] Hobart has decided payback comes in the form of clawing my new rug which I just rolled out about 15 minutes ago. All the bushels of wool that she is digging up she chews up. My payback will be laughing when she coughs up a fur ball. Then her payback will be my broken heart as I sit and watch her all stressed and worried that I have to call the Pet Ambulance. And when she is okay again I will feed her some THRIVE freeze dried shrimps.

I had a funny evening this evening with Mr 40something who had obviously had a very boozy lunch and was telling me how life was so horrible and depressing and stressful. He also said that I did nothing but take the piss out of him. But that I was also the person who was the most polite and respectful to him as well. [Aussie humour.] Then he asked me if I wanted a glass of wine. Worried he might have a sex den in his basement I said that he was welcome to bring the wine upstairs. He said he would be 5 minutes. After 35 I finished what I was doing and went home. Poor fella. He had splits in the crotch of his pants where they had worn through.

Oh - and Lady Gang alert - I'm double dog baby sitting with Mrs Kipling on Saturday night at the most luxurious flat in town. Anyone else want to come and watch the Nollywood channel and polish of a few bottles of something? The Booyah Cook may or may not make an appearance. Depends how much we want Pizza instead.

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 6 September 2009

A SERIES OF FAILURES


A Series of Failures, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.









They all taste majorly banging, BUT you can see the tops have cracked and are scored like hot cross buns!

Mrs Kipling has started to contribute to www.madameatrois.com with her Rye Pottery and a glass flask that is going to make The Cardinal shit and use the stopper as a butt plug. As for The Cardinal, I took a picture of her looking beautiful in The Dorchester yesterday.

It is my turn for the next Lady Gang dinner and I am already starting to think of things for the menu. Dinner is in October. Many hours researching recipes and trying things out. Hopefully I will have perfected the macaroon recipe by then! I can't give too much away as the menu is never known before we sit down to eat. Other than there is no seafood with gills or red meat other than maybe lamb and only a little bit. And no pulses.

xx Lektrogirl

FOOTBALL GUY UPDATE

Another brilliant report from our correspondant in Canada [WHY??!!] the Air Commodore.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #25

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX]
Sent: 06 September 2009 04:48
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: the cardinal and i at the spatisserie at the dorchester


'ere's me, walked passed the Dorchester 4 million times in my earlier days, never put me foot inside the door. Never had the dosh, and me father would have kicked me arse for having thoughts above my station.
No wonder that Cardinal is a mate. Except for being slightly thinner faced she looks very much as you do. Long hair, brown?, good looking complexion, etc.etc. won't continue. YOU will only accuse me of being a 'dirty old man'
Anyhow, the tucker(can you call food of that standard 'tucker'?) It looks fabulous. Seems a good place to move out of the daily tribulations of earing a living. You ought to take Hobart with you? Don't be mean. slip him in yer carry bag/large purse and let him have a wander. Sorry HER. W.K.O.F. name is Hobart for a female?F.C.S.
Got an Email ex Sars today and she tells me there's a parcell in the post, which I'll prolly get to-morrow. She doesn't know I know it's seeds so I can plant things to remind me of you lot. I have planted cuttings of Roses, Iceberg and Bridal shower for your reminder. BIG Sharpish tasting radishes for me. Can't tell wot I'm putting in for the kids and Sars till I get the package tomorrow.. The prickles on the roses will be for Pussie!.
Look after yorself Kiddo. Winter's on it's way. Keep away from any fukka who has a runny nose or is sneezing. Swine Flu is a bastard. Bad for yer health.Cheers from yer old Dad. Since The Cardinal makes you happy, say hullo to her from me.

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@XXCENSOREDXX]
Sent: 06 September 2009 04:55
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: my cooking - macaroons


P.S. Your cooking you faggot? You nicked them from them from the Dorchester. You ought be doing Nigella Lawson's job on T/Vif that's really your cooking. Fark. They look delicious mate. Cheers again. Poppa.xxxx

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Saturday, 5 September 2009

GERM


Spotted Fever, originally uploaded by otisarchives1.

Friday, 4 September 2009

A SMALL VICTORY



Today I couldn't be bothered going to work on time cause I wanted to have a go at making these instead.

Campari and Orange Macaroons.
Grenadine and Fresh Blueberry Macaroons.

I can't decide which was better.

Not to self: when it comes to colouring them, you really cannot hold back on the colour. More is definitely less in this case - which doesn't often happen.

The girls at work were really impressed. When I crack the recipe I will Booyah Cook them.

Then we went for dinner at The Diner. When I got home, I stuck my fingers down my throat after champagne at work, a cocktail, a sailor jerrys with coke and fresh lime and a glass of horrid white wine. I feel a lot better now.

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 1 September 2009

BANK HOLIDAY


Bank Holiday, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

I spent my bank holiday helping my friend Mrs Kipling out of a hole. Then Professor Kipling, Mrs Kipling and I had coffee, chocolate and went out for Thai. Frieda was great company. I bought a rug on Sunday. Who could have thought my life was more exciting than this! Oh I forgot the part where Mrs Kipling and I ate too much crap, suddenly got tired and rolled around on the giant sofa and checked out eBay showing each other what we always look for first.

You want my life?

If so, you also have to take care of this:



My favourite little Thunder Hunter who shits out the front of her shit house. And I thought Der-Alexan's cat Tetue was a little bitch.

OH AND CONGRATULATIONS TO DRX AND OLIA WHO BROUGH LITTLE ZELDA INTO THE WORLD THE OTHER DAY!!!
Drx said Zelda looked identical to his son Jurij when he was born so they were thinking of just sending his baby pictures around to everyone. He also said his daughter looked like a raisin with eyes. I used to say my nephew looked like a scrubbed potato.

Anyway back to my thrilling life which is enough to send some people into euphoric palpitations.

xx Lektrogirl

IMG_0097


IMG_0097, originally uploaded by sdfkt.

This is my friend Helena from Hamburg. She has a number 1 world class smile.

xx Lektrogirl