Sunday, 28 October 2007


The boots cleaned me out until I get paid in a couple of days. Sad thing is that they don't match my Marni bag, but I worked round that with the APC raffia bag when I went to meet Cardinal today at the pub on Junction Road for a gastro lunch. It was the worst one we have had in the area, the potatoes were horribles, the staff rude and our puddings were on hot plates and cold in the middle. And no full length mirror in the bathroom so I could check out my outfit properly.

I was a bit worried when I showed them to Nameless tonight - he just started laughing. For a second I was worried I was never going to have sex again! But then I showed them [via Flickr] to my hot secret lover man who said that he thought they were hot! This is the same guy who said that now that I'm single he would be happy to have casual sex with my behind his girlfriends back [she is HOT HOT HOT FYI] because the sex with me was so incredible. Tek weh yuself! Talk about ego boost.

Anyway - enough about that cause I also found out my father reads my blog from the old man's home. Fuck me. The thought of my father reading about my fanny is enough to make my vajayjay dry up and dessicate like coconut.

xx Lektrogirl

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My father is famous for a lot of his quotes in my family, and the above was a regular in dad's catalogue. The tie in here is not about how I am feeling, but about the number of scat ref's I have had in as many days this weekend.

Superduck sent me this:

This is probably the biggest load of girlpoo ever featured on the internet and possibly in the world. Myranda Didovic (22) was constipated for little over a week due to I.B.S. when this scene was recorded.

And view images here. This is NOT for work unless you work in my office.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 27 October 2007


I watched the original video too. And I was heaving just from the blue eye makeup.

Friday, 26 October 2007


God I have been so miserable lately finding out about big lies and little lies from little people who can't keep their big mouths shut. [What goes around comes around.] On to more positive vibes, what a gorgeous surprise to see the pictures Cardinal took the other day and me looking so happy! Here is a very rare picture of me SMILING with a ginuwine face having a happy time doing happy things. Thank fuck I am normal after all.

And as I have been reminded that my mother reads my blog when we had big chats on the phone this morning [she was telling me all about my sister's new job as a swimming teacher] and mum also commented on my pink nipples in some picture [shame] I thought I best put some more pics up of me just for her. With my clothes on.

This is me in a club Mum. What I am doing with my hand is called "throwing signs". What this one means is "2 in the pussy [vagina] and 1 in the bum". I don't actually know if that just means with fingers or dicks, but either way it purile and funny and I even taught Katharine Hamnett how to do. FYI Mum I never had sex with more than one person at once so I could have only ever acheived this with the fingers but to tell you would be TMI. [see note below.]

Tek Weh Yuself!
Here is me in the same club later in the night Mutts. [Everyone else - Mutts is the name I call my mother.] I am saying "You Get Me?" to Philippa. Which means "Are we on the same wavelength?" I was only a little bit drunk that night and I didn't "Get my rocks off" as you used to say about cousin James going to Amsterdam. Oh no actually the next day I ended up puking once in a saucepan and Nameless had to come over with a loaf of bread cause I was too ill to get any food. He actually ate most of the bread cause I couldn't and shaped the loaf into an Oriental slipper for me. I must have been pretty wasted. Not as bad though as in my youth when you took me to the doctor for the injections to stop puking. Oh God. That was bad.

xx Lektrogirl

TMI = Too Much Information. Here is an amazing conversation which used TMI to great advantage and works some graet TMI extras in too!

him 22:10:16: GROSSSS I dont imagine its like this at all
him 22:10:39: haha oh man next time i see him all ill be able to think will be
me 22:10:40: this video is the last way on earth i would want to bang
him 22:10:41: XXCENSOREDXX
me 22:10:45: XXCENSOREDXX
him 22:10:53: XXCENSOREDXX
him 22:10:58: omg
him 22:10:59: just FYI
him 22:11:09: im not one of these people whos like TMI
him 22:11:21: or DID *NOT* WANNA KNO THAT
him 22:11:23: but if i was was
him 22:11:32: id be like doing TMI cartwheels right now
him 22:11:47: TMI fukin firework show
me 22:11:51: HAHAHAHA
me 22:12:14: ROTFLOL
him 22:12:35: anyway i dunno if ill be able to look at him in the same way (neutral)
me 22:12:46: and it is so funny cause the neighbourhood bad boyz are letting off crackers now

P.P.S. For reference, this is the video we are talking about:

WHAT A HO!! This is the worst song and video ever and makes me want to puke.

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So after the music war continues the album the whole office decided on to listen to as okay is NO DOUBT !!

I kept quiet.

I HATE GWEN STEFANI - she is maxium ho!! I suppose she isnt as ugly as Fergie tho' from the Black Eyed Peas. I wish that fucking Pepsi machine would fall on her head.

Please keep sending me DJ mix links!! I'M LOVING THE MIX FROM DJ GUY!!! I think G**K HOES is one of my favourite tracks of all time. Thank God for headphones.

xx Lektrogirl



Last night I spent hours working on amazing spreadsheets containing all the information for the Katharine Hamnett SS08 wholesale orders. I love my new computer screen. I had five workbooks open at once. Chats with Bitch Ass Darius, Prancehall, Bok Bok, Manara in the AIM about various matters. Some long tings, some casual matters. Vibing to an assessment mix of DJ Venoms', then some mix of Kenny Kingston's that B.A.D. sent me and then some cool mix by Girl U No It's True. Total vibes with me and the Windows music visuals and Excel.

I got to work this morning and my assistant started first track up REGULATE!!! Blud - he is my boy!! Then all the other end of the room came in [the PR end!] and started playing all the new Take That stuff and Tears for Fears.

OMG - split hearing! You get me!!

DJ Guy sent me a link today though for a new mix that I want to share with the world too on

Here is the track listing:
Bitch Ass Darius - Ride Wit Me (NES Records)
DJ Guy - Bucked Up (Global Fire)
Professor X - Professor X (Saga) (Techno Kut)
Eerk & Jerk - Eerk & Jerk (House Mix) (Shantell Records)
Model 500 - Future (Metroplex)
DJ Guy - Big Pussy (Global Fire)
Bass Tribe - Dance Like A Freak (X-Tend-A-Freak Club Mix) (Pandisc)
Bitch Ass Darius - G**K Hoez (NES Records) <---- A PERSONAL FAVOURITE FYI
DJ Guy - The Raw (Global Fire)
Stone Age - Raw Dog (acapella) (MCA)
DJ Assault - Livin' The (Good Life) (Jefferson Ave)
DJ Guy - Who Wanna (Global Fire)
Ectomorph - Parallax View (Interdimensional Transmissions)
Freestyle - Don't Stop The Rock (Pandisc)
Disco D - D-Down (Intuit-Solar)
Electric Soul - X2 (Electrofunk)
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - Just Vibe (Acapella) (Interscope)
DJ Slugo - Smoke-N-Ride (Dance Mania)
Emynd & Bo Bliz - Get F'd Up (Flamin' Hotz)
AJ McGhee - Have A Drink (Thorn Entertainment)
DJ Guy - The Runner (Global Fire)
P-Dog - Got This Feeling (M.A.P.)

And here is the link here.


xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 24 October 2007


You know it is going to be a pretty shit day when you wake up to receive an email from the new girlfriend of your ex to tell you that the relationship you had been told was only 6 weeks old was actually 3 months old.

Monday, 22 October 2007


To all the haters
And to all the people who think that me and two other people are trying to do something really weird
This is my fantasy band that we are in and this song is for you.

ADDED 24 October 07
I take that back, There is no-one in my band with me. This is my song.

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Sunday, 21 October 2007


ME 09:39:20: yeah what is up with him!
HER 09:39:28: well insecurity
HER 09:39:40: and when i was in "love" with him i didn't see anything wrong with him
HER 09:39:51: now i'm not i know XXCENSOREDXX is a big fat balding man with a 2 inch penis
HER 09:40:11: before it was like "ooooh he's so cute and cuddly! and though he's small he knows how to use it awww"
HER 09:40:22: i'm such a hater
HER 09:40:47: and i was pretty insecure to go out with him too really
ME 09:41:02: HAhaHHAHAh
ME 09:41:03: HAHAHAH

Whenever I talk with HER on AIM it is always the best and funniest chats ever. I've been thinking about this every since laughing. I love you HER!!

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Saturday, 20 October 2007


This is just two of a few in one day!!!

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Friday, 19 October 2007


Somei nteresting press release that went out from my office today:


On Tuesday 23 October, politicians from the UK are taking part in a major review of European pesticide legislation and this presents a once in a generation opportunity for a major re-think of our reliance on pesticides.
As an EU constituent you have a voice. And that’s why it’s vital that you make your views heard.
On 13 July 2007, a young German researcher working at the European Parliament bought eight fruit items from the convenience store located inside the Parliamentary building in Brussels. The purchase itself was unremarkable: some oranges, apples, pears, apricots, strawberries and three bunches of grapes. But the story of what happened next has astounded many working at the heart of European Government. The young researcher sent the fruit samples to the TMO analytical laboratory in the Netherlands where they were tested for traces of pesticides.
In total the eight fruit samples contained 28 different pesticides; including 10 carcinogens, eight suspected endocrine disruptors, three neurotoxins, three reproductive toxins, and two chemicals classified by the World Health Organisation as ‘Highly Hazardous’. The strawberries contained 14 different pesticide contaminants. Worse still, three of the eight fruit items contained pesticides at levels exceeding legal limits – thus rendering their sale illegal. Researchers later calculated that a five year old child eating just two of the oranges would ingest carcinogens at a dose 40% above internationally recognised safety levels.
While the results of this analysis are shocking, they are well in line with current estimates of EU food contamination. According to a 2006 survey published by the European Commission, the EU food chain is contaminated with 324 different pesticides – within which some of those most commonly detected are among the most detrimental to human health. In total 40% of fruit and vegetables sold in Europe contain pesticide residues, while one item in 30 contains pesticides at levels above EC legal limits. Based on these figures the average European consumes fruit and vegetables containing excessive levels of pesticides on an almost fortnightly basis. Even baby foods are affected – with 2.7 percent containing levels above the legal maximum.
It is difficult to quantify the negative health impacts that pesticide residues impose, but there is now mounting evidence to link pesticide exposure with serious impacts on human health.
- Findings reported at the European Respiratory Society annual meeting of 2007 show that adults in contact with pesticides face a higher risk of developing respiratory problems
- An EU study on Parkinson’s disease found that low-level exposure might increase the chances of developing the condition.
- In 2004 Family Physicians in Canada published a report strongly recommending that people reduce their exposure to pesticides after identifying consistent links to serious illness including reproductive problems, neurological diseases, leukaemia and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma
- More recently researchers in Liverpool have found evidence that pesticides may be a major factor in breast, testicular and prostate cancer.
Most fruit and vegetables eaten in Europe are grown in Europe. In total an estimated 2.4 percent of fruit, vegetables and cereals grown and sold in the EU exceed legal limits on pesticides.
Those attempting to justify these excessive levels of pesticide use often claim that present levels of application are somehow essential to maintain high levels of agricultural productivity. Yet this claim is unfounded. Perhaps the best demonstration of the viability of long-term pesticide use reduction comes from Denmark. In 1985 Danish politicians, alarmed by the growing presence of pesticide contaminants in their food and water resources, instigated a national ‘Pesticide Action Plan’ aimed at achieving substantial decreases in pesticide use. They set concrete targets for pesticide use reduction, introduced forward-thinking market incentives for low-pesticide methodologies, and supported a comprehensive advisory service to work with farmers in using pesticides more effectively. Denmark’s farmers now use just half as much pesticide as they did 20 years ago, Danish vegetables are now six times less contaminated than their equivalent imports, and water quality has doubled. All this has been achieved with no significant economic impact on Danish farmers – and the Danes still reckon on further decreases in pesticide use in the coming years.

Denmark is not alone. In addition to the 4 percent of Europe’s agricultural land now farmed organically, small pockets of farmers are already engaged in low pesticide strategies. Two thirds of apples and pears grown in French-speaking Belgium are produced according to low pesticide methods. 8,000 farms in Italy have adopted strategies aimed at eliminating pesticide residues from food produce. And farmers in the Netherlands are working with their government to minimise the impacts of pesticide use. In each of these examples the aim is simple: to ensure sustained levels of production while using fewer toxic agrochemicals.
Persistent organic pollutants such as DDT, Dieldrin and Heptachlor are now largely phased out but many of today’s most widely used pesticides are actually far more toxic than those they have replaced.
Washing fruit and vegetables although strongly advised does not eliminate all pesticide residues as many become integral within the fruit and cannot be removed by washing or peeling.
Visit to send an e-mail to your MEPs asking for better legislation on pesticides. Ask your MEP to support:
• The prioritisation of human health and the environment
• The elimination of Europe’s most toxic pesticides for example
• Chlorpyrifos (neurotoxic)
• Imazalil (carcinogenic + reprotoxic)
• Iprodione (carcinogenic)
• Procymidone (carcinogenic)
• Thiabendazole (carcinogenic + reprotoxic)
• 2 Phenylphenol (carcinogenic + reprotoxic)
• Pirimiphos-methyl (neurotoxic)
• Malathion (neurotoxic)
• Dichlorvos (carcinogenic + neurotoxic)
• Targets for conversion to low pesticide farming methods
• Support for farmers in reducing pesticide use
• Greater protection for vulnerable groups and rural residents
• Better safeguards for European water resources
• More public information

For further information please contact Rebecca Atwood and
Elliott Cannell

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Here is my first picture from the Lady Gang Dinner round at Sarah's house that Pippa cooked and Jasmine, Alex, Bev and I all ate. I don't know why it is, but whenever I post tights and stocking pictures to my Flickr, the views for these pics TOTALLY BLOW UP. There are always these different Sock and Tight groups wanting me to add my picture to their group etc etc. I've checked some of them and I don't think they are for people with fetishes other than being into socks, tights and stockings but you never know.

I think the green spot on Sarah's cashmere tights comes from when she and I were falling on the floor together in the kitchen. I can't really remember the joke now but it involved throwing amaretto biscuits directly into the mouth and Sarah striking a weird pose and talking so I couldn't understand her.

What I do remember clearly was wiping tears from my eyes asking "What the fuck are you doing?"

Pippa and Alex

Jasmine. Her face says a lot about Sarah's iPod. German choral music, hymns, the Australian Brandenburg Orchestra and Big Boi. ED DMX used to say I had the worst record collection in the world, but fast forward to the year 2007 and if I had an iPod I now know that isn't true.

Bev and I
Bev was telling Alex and I about a big photography fair in Paris in November. I'm tempted to go. Any excuse to go to Paris is a good one.

xx Lektrogirl

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N.B. These three should be APC models.

x Emma

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Wednesday, 17 October 2007


Prancehall called me his "friend Emma" on his blog - times are changing it seems. He post my blog about Ruff Sqwad fashions on his blog adding his own comments along the way. He even corrected my typos which was very generous but fucked up KathArine Hamnett totally wrong.

Tonight I am going to go round to Sarah Lee's house with my Lady Gang [Pippa & Jasmine etc] and we are making a video. It is going to be a cooking show themed one. The first night I even met Zazie [the one who just got the job on E4 from the Coconut Twins] we spoke briefly about how we both played cooking show when we were little. My sister and I had the idea set up at Mum's - the kitchen table was directly under a perfectly square window looking out onto the back garden. But our window was actually the TV camera. We had this walk in pantry and everything. Really cool. Except for when I got older - cause the pantry wall ajoined my bedroom wall and on the weekend when I was lying in bed trying to recover from too much Midori and Lemonade [my best friend was a hairdresser - the other drink we had was Kahlua and Milk] and VB's when we ran out of money, my mother would be in the kitchen and be putting pots and pans away banging the wall like a crazy lady and turning on 7ZR radio so the whole house was listening to fucking Macca on a Sunday Morning.

I'm sure the fact that there is a beer in Australia called VB [Victoria Bitter] is the reason why Victora Beckham changed the name of her label from VB to DVB.

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 16 October 2007


Seems there are big changes on the street. Big news that big knits really hit the big time and even Jammer was trying to give away his hoodie. A lot.

The other night I went down to Cargo and whooped it up on the whiskey sours with Raggatha Christy and took the opportunity to cast my expert eye over the Ruff Sqwad.

Rapid, FudaGuy and Slix.

Rapid is really a Yacht Rock guy and only a few steps away from joining Duran Duran on Simon Le Bon's boat. Slix dresses like he kind of is, but his shoes look like an indi boy. FudaGuy... Cap is a little bit 8-Ball Lucky Strike with the embroidered dice, but I guess he is big on the stitches with the hat like that, the embroidered Pink Panther on the knee and the ICE-B embroidery on the pocket.

See - ICE B

I'm really not into these jeans and even less into his pants. They look really cheap and nasty and infact, the entire outfit could have been bought at Camden market.
At the next Ruff Sqwad gig I have half a mind to present Fuda Guy with a selection of new undies. I am opposed to so much hanging out, for real. Imagine if he does a sloppy fart or something! FudaGuy could to be painted with the Ginuwine brush for example - Versace undies would be great. I am thinking that maybe Vilebrequin in the Moorea traditional boxer short cut would be great if FudaGuy really wanted to go round with his bum out. Vilebrequin also do incredible cotton boxers embroidered with strawberries or bees [if a girlfriend buys you these, she is a keeper.] About 2000 times better that Polo. Finally another option could be from Clone Zone on Old Compton Street. I know it is a Gayer shop and the pants are for Gays but the brand is called XTG - almost like XTC - YGM??!!

Here is Scholar who I am deeply in love with. He wears the coolest sunglasses and he has a beautiful smile. A big smile fixes everything. But sadly he is wearing one of those rotton t-shirts. I don't think much of all the slogan t's rolling around the East End these days. These ones in particular are pretty painful because I am almost certain that they aren't made from organic cotton. Conventional cotton - like the cotton used in these bulk t's that printers supply you cost them .70p each - represents 10% of world agriculture and uses 25% of the world's pesticides. 20,000 people die every year from accidental pesticide poisoning in conventional cotton agriculture. I can also be pretty sure that the inks on those garments are not water based inks and probably contain PVC.

Now Scholar is hiding in shame cause his t-shirt is so wrong and FudaGuy is suffering from all the chemicals and pesticide residue in his t-shirt.

[if people are really interested in looking for better quality (better in quality because they are better for the environment) for printing on, you should contact me and i can maybe get you a hook up. no time wasters.]

Here is Slix up close.
The Wikipedia Handerchief guide says that a black bandana means the wearer is into heavy S&M Pain and wants to whip others (if worn on left); wants to be whipped (if worn on right). Ah so Slix, what you into?!!

And forget about Claire's Accessories, this is Slix Accessories.

Rapid really wipes the floor with the rest of Ruff Sqwad in the fashion stakes, smart, clean, sexual. Look at Slix little fat face here - he looks like one of the Fat Boys! So check this:

YACHT ROCK!! WOO HOO!! So beautiful. Deano from Real Gold was also wearing some of these last night and I noticed that they are Clarks. Personally I would get the Sperry Top Sider from Zappo's OR the Rockport Bridgesport for guys and Sebago Docksides for women.

What is in the bag though? From the bump in the side it could contain a tampon, lipgloss or a battery. Cardinal suggested it looks like a bag for a travel hair dryer. Nicely unwashed denim vibes. Totally Hard Yakka early '90s vibe. Though of course, all that Hard Yakka stuff that came out over here and got worn by Oasis was all fake. Hard Yakka [and tougher it'd rust] is made for jackroos in the Australian Outback. Where it is fucking hot. A sheepskin lines denim jacket just did not exist. Until workwear was cool over here and everything got faked up.

xx Lektrogirl

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This is my cousin Lucy in Thailand chilling at her crib. Don't mess or she be throwing shade. This is REAL GOLD. You get me?!

xx Lektrogirl

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Big Word! Nelly's fashion line Apple Bottoms has finally hit - Praise!!

I actually saw a REAL girl on the tube once wearing a pair of Apple Bottoms jeans with big embroidered apples on each pocket. I was kind of blown away.

Last night was really fun. Was round at ASBO's crib with Zara, Cardinal, Ronojoy and Deano and had a really delicious dinner. Late night and early start and I'm feeling it. I can't believe that Ronojoy remembers me from a 10 minute meeting 3 years ago - amazing. Watch this space people cause W.S.P.P. might actually be happening. Can't give too much cause I know there are always haters trying to peep my steelo. But here is a clue:

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 14 October 2007




This is DJ Guy's first release of his brand new label Global Fire which is pretty grand considering he also just bought Serato yesterday too. He said he felt really sad cause it really felt like the end of an era. But he said already Serato was amazing. Last night DJ Guy, Bitch Ass Darius and I "had a drink or two" at the The Star. It was the triad of minds that evening on the sofa, and later at my crib where we decided it would be a great idea to drink the two bottles of red wine on top of all the drinking we have already done.

Originally presented to me in a Morrisons*** bag, here is a slighter hotter picture of the new record!

Left Tittie:
Bucked Up
Who Wanna
The Raw

Right Tittie:
The Runner
Big Pussy

So from the expert mind of Lektrogirl [who miraculouly woke up totally clear headed this morning!]
Bucked Up - "Get Buck" / Young Buck and some great music. Great for getting your titties out to and shaking your F.U.P.A.
Who Wanna - well who doesn't? I know I always want to.
The Raw - You Get Me!? This is the best track on the EP and it makes me want to dance like a German girl all up in the place and fuck the snot out of any guy. Well there is a man in particular... Anyway - you will know which bit of the track I mean when you hear it. You will start doing the Wutang* and the Spongebob Dance** all at once on the floor.
The Runner - The "Doh" vocals etc by DJ Guy himself. [Yes it is true that I didn't believe Bitch Ass Darius sang "Mount Up Bang That Butt" himself, but he did a live performance of it in the living room later that evening that was most convicing!]
Big Pussy - A vintage DJ Guy track written back in 2002. My only negative comment on this track is that it doesn't say BIG PUSSY enough. But maybe that is cause if all pussy's smelt like mine the world would be a really happy place [they don't call me Platinum Pussy in Hamburg for no reason you know] - but maybe you can get too much of a good thing? It must be awful for those girls out there with fannies like crabsticks.

You can listen to samples of some of these tracks on the Global Fire MySpace page.

*The Wutang Dance

**The Spongebob Dance

xx Lektrogirl

***Oh FUCK! I just remembered about an amazing thing Carrie said by accident!! She mixed up Dries Van Noten with Denise Van Outen! Love it!!!

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Wow! Live!

The worst mime ever - on par with Betty Boo. The promo video clip though is pretty cool though.

Jonny Chingas & J-vibe in 1989

I can't believe that Jonny Chingas who sings Automatic Lover is such a fat ugly cunt! Highlights of this video are the conversation about chrome tape being really good and watching Chingas pick the pilling off his jacket.

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I know there has been a few of these in my blog lately but I'm fucking obsessed. I even post some of the oldies on Nasty Nets to bring some UK styles over there after the Melbourne Shuffle went down so well.


Saturday, 13 October 2007


And for a change, here is one with some Sheilas in it.

It would be cool to see people London crews - like Real Gold or something - making videos like this.



Here is my latest exhibition that I have curated online called "I'm Not The Only One". Someone in my office was on the phone to someone in another office and the girl my office was telling me that the person she was talking to in the office had a friend in his office that was looking at nude pictures of me on the internet. Good Times.

If you are into these pictures, you can check the whole profile for as long as it lasts. I really love them a lot.

Ramiro goes to nudist beaches. But he never came back with stories about a view like this. It was always about seeing other men's assholes.

Speaking of assholes:

I still adore this picture of Paul. Hey, HOT TUB HARRY!! [private joke]

xx Lektrogirl

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So she might be looking more Xtina these days and didn't do such a great job performing 'live' [the look on 50 Cents face is worth far more than his name in the video of that event] but I still love Britney.

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Friday, 12 October 2007


Teki from TTC is totally sexual in the most completely spiritual way.
Here he is in a XL Katharine Hamnett slogan LOVE t-shirt. Buy yours here.

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All through this video I expected to see clouds of talc coming out of Kylie's hair all over the piano - a fucking powdered wig from the back of Aunt Sally's broom closet. The skull microphone? Fuck me. What a travesty.

And when I first saw this I thought Mutya had rejoined the Sugababes for one last cover song until I realised this was a task from the Big Brother house. Charley does a good impersonation of Kylie whoring herself out there on stage striving to put as much inner thigh on show as possible.



Well not quite but I had an ace time Carrie down at YoYo. I saw loads of old friends there when was a great surprise and I also, by accident, bumped into THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE (t.h.m.a.) - WooHoo! Good times. Bit hung over today and the woman eating her wrap from the supermarket that has that real lettuce-y smell is making me squeamish.
It was funny in the queue last night - I overheard this white DJ say "I'm so glad there are so many black people here tonight, it makes DJing that much better." Don't worry folks, he had apparently puked from nerves moments before and he was walking round with a light spray of it on the edge of his Barbour.

XX Letrogirl

Thursday, 11 October 2007


I just cracked the office up by referring to someone as a horror headed ferrit faced ho in passing.



Massive ear ache today and I think it is too much late night tete a tete on this fucking Nokia . You get me. I'm in the back of a black cab right now on Finchley Road and I have to tell you how urban it is getting round here lately, you get me. The McDonalds has got all jazzed up which is a sign og ghetto McDonalds are back in business. Easy Internet or whatever it was has gone - but they were like gone, even when they were still there - you get me. So in McDonalds I noticed they have a series of American burgers - Texas, Chicago and Vegas. The Vegas Classic has a slice of that plastic cheese with flecks of red and green capsicum in - slice of puke - you get me. I thought they should be profiling THE GREAT CSI BURGERS and have them for New York, Miami and Vegas. Obviously McDonalds have done a lot of market research that brings them to conclude that puke cheese is gonna work for them so I wont air pie them on that idea. But the Miami burger could be alligator meat and the New York on is obvious - ground up hot dog meat. Then Gary Sinease could be there like flipping burgers and one of the others could be in the ad too calling out "Hey! Mac!" Y.G.M??!!! What a CSI joke I MADE THERE. big ups me. Y.g.m.

Anyway, laterz I walked past a very fly 15 year old with a giant fro comb on his bike. Hey was also 'macking'. Y.G.M!!

XX Lektrogirl

P.S. Chorley and Phillipa are back from America! Yee-harrr!! I hope that means drinks and goodtimes again soon!!!

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I got a call just after 7 this morning from my friend Alex to say that JoJo had given birth to an 8 pound boy shortly after 2.15am. Congratulations to the little family!! Everyone is well and I can confirm the baby is white so JoJo was telling me a big fib for 9 months when she said Sean Paul was the father. I think I can forgive her - particularly as I have her desk now. I am so so happy for her and Alex.

xx Lektrogirl


MuSiC SHoW!!!
paper rad, 8 bit construction set, the potions
shoulders, bitch ass darius, paul b. davis

thursday 11 october, 8pm
old blue last, 38 great eastern street, shoreditch, EC2A 3HY (tube: old street / liverpool street)

after wiping the floor clean at mike paradinas' birthday party [he was so thorough, the cleaners didnt even have to show up after the party, the punters took everything home...], paul is daring to show his face again at the decks alongside SHOULDERS and BITCH ASS DARIUS at a party tonight!!!!

those two are enough to go along to this free party for!!!

don't expect too much from the live band performances however - the potions havent seen each other in years, the 8 bit construction set never really works because cougar shuttle gets too drunk to do anything and paul doen't have a helmet any more to cover the bald spot so he is not gonna be vibing. paper rad is ben and jessica so i can't say either which way - jacob isn't going to be there.

anyhow i've seen this kind of party before - im not going - so don't think you will be able to shank me on the sly on those perilous stairs at the old blue last - but if you want to see what that amazing scene from america with it roots firmly in places like "camp gay" - GO! ask for your beer in a paper cup and expect all the toilets to get blocked. and demand a turn on the fireman's pole!!!



Wednesday, 10 October 2007


I just saw someone who I think was Jamie James Medina walking really slow down road wearing a white tshirt, black pants and jacket and a bright blue cap. Whoever it was, this colour combo is so NO and a sky blue je ne sais quoi would have saved it. My deepest apologies to you Jamie James if it was not you in the vicinity of Finsbury Park mosque. If it is a consolation, I was actually rubbernecking the guy in question as he had amazing poise and looked well fit.

xx Lektrogirl


Do I look like a girl with a broken heart? I think not... Look at my amazing hair!
Here I am with Caz at the last The Look party. I am projecting my aura and getting totally spiritual with Aussie girl vibes. I can't be bothered showing you all the other pics that Pippa took cause they are all of other people. And Caz and I look so gorgeous that the others aren't worth much.

xx Lektrogirl

Tuesday, 9 October 2007


It's true - a new computer is definitely the way to this girls heart, a chillax on a sofa and some Pad Thai Jay. Oh and getting to bed and sleeping for a change. I also have learnt I got a lot of really supportive friends. I may die alone stinking of piss but I know my Inbox will be full of mails from people wishing me all the best. Last night I had some serious bullshit chats with Drx on Miranda - it was just like the old days - back in 2000! We discussed windabgenang (I think that is the Deutsch) and I explained to him about skid marks. The underpants variety. Good times.

Anyway - so I'm well refreshed on the number 4 into work. The house down the road that had the plain clothes cops a while ago chasing that guy with the pillow marks in his hair had three cops in uniform banging on the door in the rain. It was a bit weird last night actually - I had just got run over by the kid with the glasses on his bike (who looks like the biggest twerpy nerd but actually he is the biggest prick in the neighbourhood) and was relieved to finally make it home when down the road at the house in question, a woman saw two guys coming and raced inside and slammed the door.

Finally, I didn't know what to wear this morning so I have decided on a version of Tektonik. Now that Prancehall has finally got hoodies are out, in certain circumstances I think hoodies are definitely in. Still not with a collared shirt EXCEPT if the hoody is made from 30G cotton in a pastel colour and is worn with a white shirt and seer sucker shorts.

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 7 October 2007


Oh and something to do on a Sunday:



One thing I love about not living with Brains any more is that he always used to clap really loud when he walked in to the room when I was DJing at home. I never got why he did that.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 6 October 2007



Dal called me from Paris to tell me how much he misses me. It was so lovely to hear him say that he wants me to be the mother of his children. He told me that we would have the most beautiful babies. I told him that I didn't think I would be doing much for the kids in the looks department but I certainly got the childbearing hips. He said that was true and all I would need to do is cough and they would be out. I told him that he was gonna need to cough in my direction before any babies were even gonna get made. But that is the problem. Dal likes fellas.

Tonight I was out to dinner with Jessie and Kellie. The -ie isn't an affectation. That is really their names. Well actually it is Jessiebabes and Kellie-Ann. But Kellie's real name is Kellie Francis. It is a long story.

Here is another picture of Roxy's that I have nicked from her Flickr of me in Milan pretending with all my might that I wasn't miserable as all fucking hell. I almost do a convincing job right?

OMG - XXCENSOREDXX told me that the receptionist actually did the design for an exlusive store product going on sale soon and not the designer in question. How I laughed at that.


xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 5 October 2007


I just got back from Paul Gorman's night, The Look down in South London. Pippa's band All About Eve Babitz played again and Superduck and I got the chance to video tape two songs on two cameras at once and hopefully I will be able to edit it together to make a little video for them.

Here is a picture of the only cunt I want to know about right now. [See pussy smelling face story below for reference.] Anyway I was quite thrilled in a pathetic way to be shooting video with Nick cause he has made a documentary about Depeche Mode, proper pop videos as well as being close personal friends with Jeremy Deller. Which if you ever read the Shop At Maison B blog you would know I have already made a prick of myself in front of him.
Important to note - here is Nick freestyling his first "showerface" on his own. A LOT. Please send me your review on my first pupil's "showerface" performance. I was actually trying to explain this to DJ Assault at the time but Nick really got a firm grasp of the "showerface" concept.

When I was in Milan I was so miserable. Here is my eye. I went and catalogued all the people in the SLOWHITE section who were on the stands there this way. I looked the tiredest. But I think it was all the secret crying I was doing.

Katharine on the other hand was coping with Milan this way.

I'm thinking of starting a new business in my lunch break. For one pound people can visit the Katharine Hamnett archive for one hour and be truly amazed at all the crazy shit we have out in the back room. I swear to got - Cassette Playa and Silverlink would LOVE it! I always think of Carrie when I see the paisley jeans for some reason. They are pretty fly jeans.

Anyway here I am a bit tired and sad. But tomorrow is another day, which just happens to be FRIDAY!! Woo-Hoo!! One more day til Saturday and that means I can go and meet Cory and get a guided tour of his new exhibition opening at Max Wigram Gallery on New Bond Street. This show is going to be really awesome. I relaly looking forward to seeing Cory again and what new direction he is moving in.

Okay - I'm too tired now.

xx Lektrogirl

OMG!! I forgot to say XXCENSOREDXX has been telling me how horney he has been lately and how he can't stop having sex and he was thinking that by 40 this would have stopped but it totally hasn't. Which was a bit weird cause like I don't know XXCENSOREDXX THAT well. So I told him all about the time I discovered that XXCENSOREDXX had been sending emails to men off gay sex sites [advertising himself as 9" un-cut who likes nipple work and leather] and reading all the replies from different guys - some even including pictures of themselves with giant dildos up their bums [do men's call them dildos too or is there a gay word?] or sitting astrid a horse in the nude except for leather chaps and a waistcoat.

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Wednesday, 3 October 2007


Today I am feeling more chillax than I have in ages! I've upgraded and I'm double fisting a Mac and PC cause I have my own office assistant doing his thangdizzle on the data entry on my other PC. So while I train him on the intimate details of Sage, I'm nursing a little headache from only 3 beers that I drank last night with two men in North London.

Prancehall doesn't let me take pictures of him any more, but here is his new jacket that Daniel told me was from TK Maxx. Daniel was there thinking I was gonna laugh, but TK Maxx are cool.

Much of the evenings mirth was taken up by a story I had about the smell of XXCENSOREDXX's pussy which I smelt on the face of Brains when he came round to my house once [much to Brains shame now... I mean... dirty! Totally XXXtina! And it was commented on the state of Brains bathroom in his studio. I went to the loo in there the other day and worried that I was going to get hepatitis.] Also, did you know how much Prancehall hates the smell of olives. I wonder how he goes with anchovies. I LOVE them. We went and had an amazing dinner all three of us at The Star. Me and ASBO had miso marinated fish and Pranny had a Poussin. This food totally shat all over anything I ate in Milan.

So I hope they don't think I'm a complete freak any more - though I think I was on shakey ground when I was giving fashion tips about collared shirts being worn with hoodies is totally wrong, and also I had another dream about Prancehall where his character was included in the background as a line dancer. I don't think I'm going to get air pied any more, but let's see.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. There is the full write up with pictures you asked about.

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Tuesday, 2 October 2007


There were loads of poor translations on the menu at this place. We were laughing til crying. This is meant to be sea urchin. Also "deep fried" became "deep freezing". Wrong.

And here is Bex and Joc in Bagutta. We went here twice. I wasn't really feeling the food at this place that much to be honest, but I loved the story of the restaurant. Bagutta was a place back in the days that artists, journalists, writers, actors and creative types met. Then they decided that they would meet there regularly each week for meetings. Then they decided that anyone who couldnt make the meeting should be fined. Then they decided that the fine should be used as a literary award for the favourite book of each year. So the Bagutta is the first Italian literary award. All over the walls in the restaurants are pictures for the awards, but also pictures painted by the different artists who ate there which the owner of the restaurant accepted as payment and all the people present would sign it. Down another wall was the winner of the Bagutta each year going back to the 20's or 30's. Amazing. The artwork was beautiful. I loved it.

And this was the last thing I ate in Milan. It was fucking gross.

I have to stop here: I am listening to Paul DJing on React FM with DJ Magic. It is all over the fucking place. Some good tunes, but a really awkward mix between them. It is hurting me.

Fortunately then, I got to go. I am meeting Prancehall and ASBO at a secret location in North London for the possibility of hosting parties in our neighbourhood. Prancehall has already asked if there will be a full write up on my blog saying "XXCENSOREDXX is a fucking cunt. But I promised I won't take any pictures unless someone pukes.


xx Lektrogirl

OH GOD... Now on the show Brains is playing that stupid Won Ton remix with the lamest chorus ever. IN BRAINS FAVOUR he played me some awesome new tunes round at his house today. Really brilliant.

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Monday, 1 October 2007


I spoke on the phone with XXCENSOREDXX and he was being a real fucking cunt.