Friday, 30 May 2008


From Chicago Tribune Online:

May 29, 2008 3:01 PM: Tale of the tape: Video expert testifies

If you ever wanted proof that forensic investigative techniques are just not as interesting as they appear on TV dramas, this last witness is your guy.

George Skaluba, a video analyst with the forensic unit of the FBI, spent the better part of an hour and a half Thursday discussing the various ways that videotapes are produced, reproduced, analyzed, morphed, doctored and damaged.

We call it the "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Videotapes Plus An Hour More" testimony.

He used more technical terms than helpful in a blog, and ultimately concluded the following:

1) The tape is not an original, and he doesn't know what generation tape it is.

2) The more you copy a tape, the more the quality and clarity of the video deteriorates.

3) It was not a good-quality tape.

4) The copy he reviewed didn't appear to be altered, but the original may have been.

5) To morph the faces and images in the 27-minute video (think "Little Man") was possible, but it would take "years" and would be "very, very difficult because of the length" of the tape. On top of that, he said, it would likely be easily identifiable.

Azam Ahmed

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Instead of me 'rabbiting' on about my vagina, [LOL get the rabbit joke? very topical given the SATC movie is with us... YAWN... are manara and i the only females who doesn't give a shit? actually the whole maison b lady gang couldn't care either] - it already seems like half of East London are already wanting to know if I'm still cobwebs or not, I will let Lil Wayne go on about gash instead.

It was my ex who brought this video to my attention noting 'It looks like Lil Wayne has been working out a bit!' [homo?] On inspection, it is true.

Anyway - I like the part about the worm and the apple butt. And JOKES BRUV when he can make it rain with his hurricain tongue.

Oh fit plasterer is here who smells sweet like dax pomade.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 29 May 2008


Oh yeah and I forgot to say, my track The Result is now available for download at my old buddy

The Result is the track I made with the video not so long ago [scroll down on the left there to see it.]

If you want to just hear an audio preview:

xx Lektrogirl

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There are loads of parties on Friday night, but the one I am going to is this! The Cardinal from Kuntish Frown [LOL] will be DJing around midnight or so. I will have to find out before so I don't peak too early on Gin and Tonic and end up crying in a corner. Or if I had any sense, I would seek out a bar serving my new favourite Koko Kanu which claims to be "the natural aroma and flavour of coconuts with the finest Jamaican Rum." The bottle is very pretty to say the least. And it is a bit like Malibu but not as sickly. Or maybe if I had even more sense I would shy away from booze all together after the crazy long weekend I just had - but I put all that down to stress release from the week before.

Also tomorrow night is another Night Slugs in Camberwell at the Red Star. DJ Guy is playing there... I'm sorely tempted cause he is good times and funny guy! I will never forget playing scrunchy football with him in Paris at Le Triptyque at the end of a Diamond Grills where Bitch Ass Darius was playing, Goon and Koyote [obs] and a guy that DJ Guy and I thought all night the French were calling "Bum 'ole". We later realised it was "Bobmo". Mega LOLZ and shame face all round!!

God I just remembered the other two 'night slugs' that the Rubber Band Man and I saw ages ago on the pavement in Archway. GROSS!

I'm really bored today. There is a plasterer coming over tomorrow and I still have chores. YAWNSVILLE.

xx Lektrogirl

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xx Lektrogirl



And I mean the Australian brand, COUNTRY ROAD!!

This video of Boyz II Men shopping probably isn't gonna be all that funny to anyone who doesn't have an accent like they star in the Sheila's Wheels commercial BUT I can't believe that BIIM are in Country Road going off the heezy at the gear available AND PICKING UP BLUNDSTONE BOOTS. Those boots are made round the corner from my mother's house in Hobart. The Blundstone Boot factory absolutely stinks of glue and leather but it isn't nearly so bad as the factory nearby that makes Weetbix [as we call them at home.] That smells like beery bready vomit.

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 28 May 2008


Joe, originally uploaded by All About Eve Babitz.

I wish I lived a life where I could run around in big pants and a vest all day wriggling on a sun lounger. Here is Madame's son Joe chillax to the max!

xx Lektrogirl


Or not so lazy I should say.

My life isn't that interesting, really. Really?!

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 27 May 2008


For no particular reason, today sucked cause I had loads of errands and stuff to catch up on by have spent the day in a come down from the weekend. I feel like I've been wandering around in a daze all day. On the plus side, there are only a few days left to the weekend! Hopefully by then I will have cleaned the trailed by various house guests which started last week and my iTunes will like me again: I put on the shuffle play and the songs that played were all hating on my personal body energy and made me feel even weirder.

Nothing new to add to the coverage of the R Kelly court case of any consequence. However I just wanted to let you all know that it was not a case of mistaken identity on March 22nd when the Police arrested a woman who screamed "Free R. Kelly" at jurors in the R&B singer's child pornography trial as they stepped off an elevator near the courtroom.

Police immediately grabbed the woman who was later confirmed as Debra Triplet and led her away in handcuffs. The judge in the case later ordered the mother of three held on contempt charges in lieu of $50,000 bond.

I definitely wasn't me - I was at the George and Dragon listening to Pippa DJ as I reported earlier last week.

Caz will vouch for me.

Anyway - I have to go now cause I've still got some chores.

xx Lektrogirl

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RuskiLektro, originally uploaded by Michael O'Neill!.

Oh God! I'm getting hotter and hotter as the long weekend draws to a close. Here you can see me at DJ Venom's birthday dinner getting instruction from Manara on how to be a good Muslim. I think it is a good look and now I know the difference between strict Muslims, Persian Muslims and the Queen Mother as far as scarves go.

So much happened this weekend. First part of the Lady Gang met and went to the Fervent Moon party and Louis Enchantés DJing was most delicious. After that we went to The Star for the new Say Yes party. Whoever was DJing there played "Circus Bells" by Robert Armarni. A highlight of that party. Then we traipsed down Cambridge Heath Road only for The Cardinal to get a wine bottle stuck down her jeans.

It was an emotional moment. Tragedy was averted when she realised she could get it out again by just undoing her jeans. We were all pretty waste, YGM by then - not too bad. But obvs enough to not be thinking logically. Venom and the Air Commodore had to piss in a side street together. I wonder if they were rubbing willies?

Then we all made it to some party in Dalston and I have to say that I really hate it round there - no offence to the locals - but in my minds eye, this is what Dalston looks and smells like:

I'm up for being better educated like from Ladette to Lady, though after having to make myself puke before I thought I could stomach any breakfast, I don't think making it to the status of Lady is gonna happen any time soon. I rolled home late in the day hoping to grab 40 winks only the Cardinal and I really needed to have a lengthy conversation before we were due to meet in about 3 hours, even though we had spent the whole night at a party together as well. I cannot divulge what it was exactly we spoke about - I'm sure my stalkers who come here looking for dirt, haters who come here with nothing better to do and my dad who comes looking for titty pics would love to know - only I will say the Cardinal came up with the line that has cracked me up ever since - "God, what do guy's think we talk about? Nail polish?" Well, true dat.

So after no sleep, that night at the Tate Modern in the Turbine Hall me and my two friends settled down on our little cushions that looked like kickboards from a learn to swim class to check out "Past-Potential- Furtures: Early Experiments in Computer Animation."

I didn't take these videos - someone else did and I think that this person was the one who was fucking me off the whole night with their camera cause the back light of the display on their camera was so bright it was burning the corner of my eye...

GOOGOLPLEX - Lillian Schwartz and Kenneth Knowlton


Though my absolute favourite was CIBERNETIK 5.3 from 1965 by John Sterhura. And check this out - look at his banging URL I always regret not having a tripod site or angel fire. So ghetto.

Anyway so I was totally in another world watching these. So happy!

Then tonight after the laziest day ever, spent all of it in bed and watching Starsky and Hutch:

[Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughan and Snoop Dogg - Ben Stiller can make jokes to get me in the mood and the other three can do what ever they want to this princess.] we all went to a Russian restaurant for Venom's birthday where I ate this:

And so now night night everyone.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 24 May 2008


Some guy, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

And so this is how I was last night, I wonder how I will be tonight and I'm wondering if I should be wearing fancy knickers cause I'm not sure who will be out with a camera with a vendetta against me after getting the elusive upskirt shot of Pippa on Thursday night.

xx Lektrogirl


I just heard a track over a friend's beat with 'Trim call me Trimothy' getting all mystical over his love for his 'friend' 'Flow Dan'. Trimothy talks long but doesn't say a lot. Though it is funny when he makes jokes about 'Flow Dan' being so hard 'cept really he's bubble when he thinks he's shower. LOL. Or some inane shit like that. And Trimothy sounds so intense I tripped right out - or maybe it was just the MP3 player graphic visualiser.

xx Lektrogirl

Friday, 23 May 2008


Sorry, I have been so distracted by my real life to have post any real updates with pictures from my real life. I don't know what last nights demented phone blog was all about - but after 20 Drunk Dialled Calls

You Frigging Get Me?! Not so pretty... But see all that hair? I did smell just like BDL but not this morning. All I could smell were my weird dreams about a guy called Moose [like I know... so random] a swimming pool and going to the toilet in a room that had a latch made from leather in the shape of a dog with it's tongue hanging out.

I blame




for being too much fun.

Oh God - I just remembered the most hilarious cab driver of all my days last night!! Only I don't have time to tell you now cause I just woke up from a nap [real life was big tings today] and have already missed seeing my lady friends Covvo and Mrs V in town from Berlin and am trying to get ready to DJ at 333 Bar or where ever it is I'm meant to be. Moskow Disco or DJ Aligator. A hard choice.

Urgh and I ate the Chicken Diamond for early dinner at Archgate and keep burping spicy sausage. No toungers from me then.

xx Lektrogirl

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I had such a wonderful night with some of my favourite people in London I the Maison B Lady Gang (pictures to follow.) And strangely, my hair smells of BDL which is the most simple pleasure and at the end of the day, the only relationship I'm into right now. Only it's a hard thing to explain.

Apparently all I write about on my blog is sex cause it's all I think about. Is that true? Is there a website for hair smelling?

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 22 May 2008


Courtesty of the MAD DECENT blog [] here is an AMAZING new mix by Bitch Ass Darius. It is INCREDIBLE.

Bitch Ass Darius - Do It 2 It Promo Mix

Bitch Ass Darius - We Can Jack

But then I am incredibly biased.

xx Lektrogirl

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One of my favourite R Kelly tracks is "I'm A Beast". But is he?

So following the R Kelly trial on the Chicago Tribune Video's I note with interest the advertisement linked with the video is from a bedding company with images of little children bouncing all over the mattresses. Please no.

Here is the incredible coverage of the most important show business story since God only knows when.

So some important information relevant to the case:

Apparently the man in the video who is allegedly R Kelly does NOT had a mole on his back which is clearly visible on the real R Kelly.

Also Backstreet Boys are playing in the background when the alleged sex acts took place. I mean durrr... Wouldn't R Kelly play R Kelly?!

Sad to note:

R Kelly is really a bad dresser. He isn't a P.I.M.P. at all in the courthouse. He should have gone to Savile Row.

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 20 May 2008


I'm DJing with Noriko at Mother Bar on Friday night between 10.00pm and 12.30am or so. I haven't been there for years so dunno what it is like. Obviously the music will be as exciting as a life affirming wank over your neighbours teenage daughter. Or not.

xx Lektrogirl


L'il Money sleeps on the sofa so what should mbrain and I do but surf YouTube showing each other our favourites. As per usual I get embroiled showing 'Dem Boys' etc. We also check some other random shits, and now today I have time to go back through all the bookmarks and do some intense URL C.I.O.-ing.

Now - who remembers "EXPLICIT CONTENT ONLY" by Evan Roth. He is one bad ass mother fucker. EXPLICIT CONTENT ONLY is a project of his started in 1995 and is the entire N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton album edited down into just the "explicit" content.

It sounds like this:

Fabulously this project has been released on vinyl this year. So while reading all about that project I learnt about #BADA55 and #BADA55 In A Can. #BADA55 is the hexadecimal representation for light green and another one of Evan Roth's projects. Anyway through reading about this, I discovered something which is indeed the true subject of this post called FUCK FLICKR. "FuckFlickr is open-source image gallery software that won’t narc you out."

And then I looked at a bunch more of the stuff on his Roth's website. Then I got bored. Then I got cold. Then I turned the heating on.

xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 19 May 2008


xx Lektrogirl

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"What advice would you give to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton?"

"It's all about connection..."

xx Lektrogirl

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The Father
Just worked out wot FYI TEXT Y MORE THAN MUM means. Goodness me! Fancy u knowing words like that? Specially to y'r old fashioned papa. R u in bed? What time ru?

The Child
I'm pissed in a club with my mate Philippa

The Father
Half yer 'f'in luck. Have one 4 me. Cheers 2 u both. Luv ya, Pa. xxx

And the next morning

The Father
How's the head? Both of you pissed yet? Cheers. Pa.

The Cardinal and I had such a great time on the weekend. Even though I was standing in the middle of Dalston with no clue where the fuck I was.

xx Lektrogirl

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I always ask mbrain the same question "Can vegan's swallow?" cause he really razzed some girl once asking her the same question.

We spoke for a while on the topic and I have now done some research on the matter.

So from a piece on the Times Online by Dr Thomas Stuttford [mega paraphrasing]:

The Oxford Dictionary defines a vegan, as opposed to a vegetarian, as “a person who does not eat or use animal products”.

There could be hardly any substance that is more essentially animalian than semen, or one that has such an animal origin, even if the animal is your boyfriend.

Even if you didn’t swallow, you would still be using — by your standards — an animal product although you were not consuming it.

anyone who interprets being a
[strict] vegan, all sex — whether oral, mutual masturbation or penetrative — that resulted in ejaculation would contravene your rules. This must be nonsense.

And Suzi Godson [mega paraphrasing]:

At Nerve, America’s coolest, smartest, most honest sex magazine (, Tana, 29, a vegan for four years, navigates herself and her principles around this thorny issue by refusing to swallow “if the semen belongs to a guy who is not a vegan”. She has no problem with vegan semen and says that, as an aide to fellatio, a cream made from tofu is good.

Beer also sweetens the taste of semen and, fortunately, the big brands can be classified as vegan. Budweiser, Red Stripe Lager, Kirin, Cobra, Heineken Export, Hoegaarden, Rolling Rock, Beck’s and Kingfisher. Though beer isn’t the place you’d expect to find animal products, many are filtered with animal ingredients such as “isinglass” (derived from fish) or “bone char ” (charcoal derived from animal bones).

The filtering process leaves only trace animal residues in the final product, but if you are experiencing a moral dilemna about whether or not to swallow your boyfriend’s semen, then you sound like the kind of girl that this would matter to as well.

xx Lektrogirl

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Dankse, Pirate Bay, Copyright, No Copyright, Intellectual Property, Ice Cream, Italo, Good Times, 2.0, Riots, Racists, Theory, Trains, Moon Rock, Garden, Playground.


It is so nice to have old friends in town.

Sunday, 18 May 2008


DSC00399, originally uploaded by Michael O'Neill!.

Last night was super fun thanks to numerous Ted's, a Michael, a Bruno, some midget breakdancers and random texts from the G.A. I ended up having a fight with my mum on the phone after I text her 'fuck you' after getting some weird text from the G.A. And now I am suffering a minor hangover in the company of the world's cutest 5 year old.

Saturday, 17 May 2008


I am about to nip out and get some number 2 drill bits in an attempt to child safe my flat for L'il Money's visit as of tomorrow. She is worried I can't speak Danish or Swedish and I'm worried I can't speak Danish. Fortunately her father can speak both Danish and English so everything should be cool. I'm really looking forward to it. Though I really worry about the time Venom broke the Babycham glass - you know how slivers of glass can turn up mysteriously months later no matter how many times you vacuum.

Before I do go out I just wanted to say I really didn't think I had any shame on the Internet and I often talk to my friends 'Blah Blah whatever I just don't care about what people can find about me on the Internet... I've always had a personal website since 1999 it's all like NBD blah blah' like Miss Big Tings. I thought I would feel embarrassed to have a video circulating of me singing, or my Dad send me an email about my boobs on Flickr but no. There is an Achilles heel tho' - MY RECENTLY LISTENED TRACKS ON LAST FM PROFILE. If someone really wanted to have a go - at any level - I would suggest going through there and having a really good laugh. Ed DMX was right when he said I have the worst record collection ever and it is looking that way with the MP3's as well. The other day when BDL was having brunch, I was SO ASHAMED by some of the music that come on iTunes.
So if it is any consolation to anyone who has felt over exposed by chatter on my posts perhaps take solace in the fact that as long as I'm scrobbling I'm paying my penance - and for that reason I am obliged to scrobble for eternity.

xx Lektrogirl

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I found the song I was looking for to match me with today

Mr Fingers: Stars

xx Lektrogirl



Here is me 7 years ago - so 28. My arms are nearly as thin as the Cardinal's! I'm in Zurich, which in my opinion is the best city to spend some summer time with someone you love. There is the lake that you can swim in on a hot day. There is also the Limmat which in summer time turns into two river banks of makeshift bars so you can swim, drink and eat sausage all day and night. There is also the woods up behind all the allotments of private gardens for the city folk with their mini chalets full of tools and garden furniture. It is so pretty. In this picture, we are having a barbeque my friend and me. Bratwurst, cervelas and senf from Migros [LOL that joke about the slice of Swiss cheese and an iMac still cracks me up after all these years. You won't even remember it.] Thinking about Molfina Thunderhunter, fishing with a tin can, drilling holes and painting in the nude with all that sunshine I could almost think that time was perfect. Of course nothing ever is... Karin, Frau Wick, Monsieur Raide, DJ Bobo.

And here I am 11 years ago. JOKES. I had only been in London a year. Maybe not even.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 16 May 2008


12, originally uploaded by diep°.


Okay so I know that from looking at the clock, it is shortly after 1pm. If I look out the window though, it could be 8am, 10am, 1pm, 3pm, 5pm, 9pm. [Well not 5pm or 9pm in Winter I haven't got the heating on so I know it isn't Winter.]

Doesn't anyone else not feel completely cheated by the weather today?!

Maybe my life would be more fun if I had one of those kind of fashion blogs [just reading Susie Stylebubble et al infinitum] where I dress up and take pictures of myself. These girls always look so happy sincere, precious, intense BUT CONTENT. And much younger than me. Are there any guys who write these kinds of blogs?

I'm going down to Brindisa for for some tortilla and a coffee. Who wants to bunk off work and come too?

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 14 May 2008


OBSESSED with this video of Amii Stewart performing Knock On Wood live and considering the possibility of learning all the dance moves. AMAZING top half to the dress. Don't think much of the handkerchief hem weighted down with gold tassels. I didn't really realise what Pop music was when I was little but I do remember my cousins who were all older than me arguing over a record and whos turn it was to play what song - it was some green vinyl compilation. Then I saw the video to this song with Amii Stewart and all the Fairlight CVI effects [an Australian invention just so you know] thinking it was so amazing. And then my cousin Sally Ann and I working out dance routines and writing the moves out on large pieces of paper and practising them for hours.

xx Lektrogirl

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I spent a few moments at lunch time trying to make a response video to Sara T's bubble blowing vlog - but I soon learnt I'm far better at sucking than blowing.

xx Lektrogirl


Unfortunately, due to the sensitivity of some of the subject matter contained therein, I was forced to XXCENSOREDXX sections of the last email from The G.A.

Takes me 2 and a half hours to s.s.s.* and dress myself each morning, which is why I am typing this note at 11.15 a.m.
Good to hear from you shags, NO I am not really a racist? I remember Ruthy Rare (rahray say) who was a New Zealand Moari and as dark as a fukkin blood sausage, Good fun though, Could play a ujke and sing like a thrush. Only quite little, hard to find in a double bed!!! XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX?
XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX. shove it up yer joompa. Take ma's credit card and extract up to 20$ worth to buy yourself some British fish and chips. (think of me when you eat them!) I will give her my next fortnites allowance to cover your end. I hope to hell you can get a feed of f'n'c' for 20 $?
Yeah I know it must be tough having the imbalance problem. Specially if you got it off my side of the family. My ma and pa were quite a pair of fukkin wonkers during our lives. None of we three boys rarely ebver lived together, nor with our mother and father. We were always farmed out to one relative or another, even not relatives , just people who would take spare kids and bed 'em and feed 'em(like some old tart in Birmingham Mrs Hill) And Mrs Milligann in Renfrew street in Glasgow, et effincetera. Oo cares? that was yesterday and a whole lot of them ago. At least you and Sara spent most of your youth together, din ya?
I expect I was a bit of a pain in the arse. Selling grog and all. No wonder I ended up having a stroke.
I'll get a lottery ticket. We'll win 30 million and I'll come home! We'll live in the best hotel in Londinium! The Dorset? The Ritz? The park bench? Whatever
Luv from yer old fella. XXCENSOREDXX. cHEERS G.A. POPS.XXXX

I wish I could just leave that unXXCENSOREDXX cause it is so hilarious.
FYI - s.s.s. = shit shower shave

And thanks to everyone to wrote to tell me that they like my new video ALL OF MY FOR ALL OF YOU. It is always nice to receive positive vibes. We have all witnessed some odd behaviour from others on this blog of late. But like Lady Sovereign sang [I know - quoting her! YGM! LOLZ - but also kind of fitting]:

"Love me or hate me I'm still an obsession,
Love me or hate me that is the question,
If you love me then THANK YOU
If you hate me then FUCK YOU"

The best thing about that video is one of the garbage men who throws "Sov" in the truck is Jeyjon who used to be in Dead or Alive. NO JOKES.

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 13 May 2008


xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 12 May 2008


Watch the whole video - WHAT A TRIP!


xx Lektrogirl

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MY LIFE THREE YEARS AGO [while married.]

This video is worth watching to the end for the intense atari drum rolls

gwEm is a nerd from way back and probably cooler that a lot of people I know.

A shame the audio isnt better. Check the crowd for the guy in the Nasa t-shirt. That is Nullsleep.

and check out gwEms brains - probably only need to watch this for about 30 seconds before you realise that we are in ubergeek world

And here are some other nerds from Stockholm - Appareil.

They are the same band that did Sex Attack a few posts ago. Anyway so now I'm gonna get out my old Tangerine iMac that I bought in 1999 and see if it still works and get all the old MP3's off it's external hard drive! What a nerd's day of delight.

xx Lektrogirl

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So finally the sun is up and you are all probably on your way to work. I wish I could share a cup of tea with you and anyone in my back garden.

If I could could eggs like this perfectly every time I would.

I would play some music for you.

Sexual Healing - Hot 8 Brass Band

Perfect High - Peppermint Lounge

And once I had post my photos from the toilets at the George and Dragon where we will probably never meet, some guy will post comments on my Flickr and I will feel totally violated

Sex Attack - Appareil

in a way I never thought possible. But actually I have d/l quite a number of his images to Photoshop friends faces onto should I ever need to.

xx Lektrogirl

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So I haven't heard much from The G.A. of late - but it seems it was my turn to get in touch with him anyway.


Bored to tears. Sick to death of aged wittering twats of 'THE DUMPED ELDERS OF THE COMMUNITY' God help us we don't contribute much to current events. Penty of hot air, but what else to do?
Ofcourse one can wait patiently for a word from an errant daughter. Word to know she has eaten enogh to subsist, that she has a quid to pay for necessities and that some bastard hasn't done the wrong thing by her---apart from your best friend the Tin Tank, of course!
I think of him as the Crunt from Chigago. Still, as you have told me a million times, what goes around comes around. And even you must admit poor old Dutchy DeJong suffered a bit? pOOR DULL BASTARD. Still I would be lost without his Grand Daddy's big arm chair in which I plant my bum most days for a bit of private reading time. And I hide things under the cushion from prying eyes.
Lunch is up, kid. Luv yer to bits. Hope things are bearing up and all? Love DadXXXX


I wish The G.A. didn't say that about the Dutch Boy because I still think of him and wonder where he is and what he is doing and if he will ever talk to me again. Dad is right - I wasn't the greatest. I'm sure he wouldn't even want to hear me say sorry. But some of my happiest memories are with this guy. And some of my biggest regrets. I didn't think he was dull. As for the 'Crunt from Chicago' next time I hear from Dad he will have a go at me about something mean I did to him as well. So fickle! So I take that with a pinch of salt. As the crunt should too.

xx Lektrogirl

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I went to bed shortly after writing my last post yesterday and woke up at about 4am. I always wondered when I would ever listen to Absolute Body Control and now is the perfect time.

Ergh - Kate Bush on iTunes now - she is late night music not early morning.

Cup of tea time. Back later.

xx Lektrogirl


Sunday, 11 May 2008


Today was the most fantastic day ever.

2 lovely friends
2 lots of talking story

And no-one with any spite, bad vibes or ill wishes can take this away from me.

Now I just want to go walkabout and think some private things.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 9 May 2008


They always seemed really fake. And now I know why:

Lo-bat. is a really good friend of mine - he was even at my wedding with his girlfriend Wendy. Probably, if he had been asked he would have been up for any kind of collaboration or his music being used. A shame he didn't even get the chance.

What I don't get is why musicians do this - rip someone off so blatantly and think they aren't gonna get found out. There was some other Scandiavian twats who did the same thing recently too. I can't think who they were...

Anyway - if you want to hear the tracks that Crystal Castles have ripped off and ignored the Creative Commons license that they were distributed with, check Lo-bat.'s website. WARNING - complete chip musician nerd zone... LOL... Actually before I say that, Wauter [Lo-bat.] is a classically trained guitarist at some amazing school in Belgium AND a brilliant cartoonist.

xx Lektrogirl

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With every major bummer going on in life, there is always some fantastic things.

I'm at Mozart's (Beethoven's LOL Bitch Ass Darius) with a cranberry spritzer (the Cardinal is right to say Pomegranite'n'soda is a more refreshing drink w DIY), macchiato and eggs florantine on the way. Debating on whether I'll have time for the Heath or not as I gotta go back to the Dr this arvo. Even so like Inner City sang GOOD LIFE. Amazing - I'll listen to that when I get home.

xx Lektrogirl


You know it is going to be a good day when a YouTube video lands in your inbox from a mate in Denver miming a long to Betty Boop. Meet Sara T! I also received a random text from my sister [also called Sara] about contracting BV [gardnerella - ergh poor thing].

In fact, I might call my sister for a chat right now.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 8 May 2008


Yesterday I finally got around to framing a lot of images I had been wanting to.

Here are two by Carlo Mollino. Actually he is an architect foremost, then furniture designer. He actually looks really scary if you ask me. But I love his polaroids.



less well known are mollino’s erotic polaroid photographs.
after carlo mollino died, his executors found more than 2,000 polaroid
photographs, made beginning in the 1960s, subjects are turin’s unpenitent magdalenes - most of them nude.
at one level they can be confused as little more than a genre of amateur
pornography with a disinterested will to artistic form.
the beauty of mollino's images resides primarily in the pathos and humor
of the incommensurability between the ordinariness of these women,
however lovely, and the artist's need to weave a fantasy around them.
‘every nude betrays its author’, wrote carlo mollino in 1959.

But his photography from negative was heavily retouched when printed - I really like that aspect - that the the medium of photography that is often considered documentary still isn't a finished piece yet. It is also disappointing though cause I always believe the fantasy of something. When I realise, it is a bit heart breaking.

F.Y.I. Those images I put in those Victorian ivory frames are from a book I pulled apart - they obvs aren't original! They aren't even the best reproductions - a cheap Taschen. When I realised my original Polaroids book was worth £100's I thought it best to keep it in tact...

I also framed this:

xx Lektrogirl

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waiting . . .

Wednesday, 7 May 2008



u u

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And some spiritual acid contained within.

Do you think it is true that Eminem is now 300lbs?

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 6 May 2008


By reminiscing about our childhood crushes on Paul Hogan I was prompted to YouTube Paul Hogan's old comedy show 'The Paul Hogan Show' and I found this clip with Delvene Delaney - THE HOTTEST BABE EVER!

Also, please note Paul Hogan's very revealing shorts. I remember being at many family BBQ's in the 70's and all the men wore those shorts. And Aussie AFL players still do.

But back to Delvene - my sister was so in love with her she called on of her dolls Delvene Delaney. My doll was called Jana Wendt. Jana was a journalist on TV - the Aussie version of 60 Minutes. I can only find A Currant Affair interview with Jana - it isn't the right era... but never mind...

Oh no - here is Jana Wendt looking like who I wanted to be when I grew up:

Here is some random thing I found that isn't Australian obvs.

xx Lektrogirl

WEB 2.0

Oh yeah! And on other matters of the heart, I'd been talking to someone recently trying to explain briefly what the difference between Web 1.0 and Web 2.0 is - as it is something very dear to me. Anybody interested in New Media Art or who wonders WTF I have such a giant 'coolection' [not a spelling mistake Alex T] of animated .gif files should have a read. Dad - you should read these too instead of coming to my website looking for pictures of boobs.

A Vernacular Web by Olia Lialina [Web 1.0 shits]

Vernacular Web 2 by Olia Lialina [Web 2.0 shits - with glitter]

And finally, Dragan Espenscheid sent me a really cool Microsoft Paintbrush cartoon he did about some really dumb ravers. It is awesome! Check It Out Chicky Babes [I wish Daisy Dee was still on TV - those were the days on VIVA Zwei]

Here is a sample

xx Lektrogirl

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Okay so I have mentioned before that I have a passing Web 2.0 obsession with Kevin Brewersdorf - I mean, his name sounds like a keg of beer - what is there not to like! Anyway, here is a song that I LOVE of his that I came across on his website called NO WAY from his album BABES.

So his song is on high rotation at home, but I haven't yet set my desktop to a tiled background of his album cover. Perhaps I should in testament to my fascination to this man who can light his own farts AND theorise on music and internet art. Actually this sounds like every guy nerd I know.

To read more about the making of the album BABE and to d/l it for yourself, check here.

xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 5 May 2008


Photograph of the weekend by the Air Commodore. My hair needs some fucking work - it is all over the place!

Today was spent having some girl chats with The Cardinal drinking Lady Grey Tea and we did like all self respecting Brits do on a Bank Holiday - we put together her new garden shed.

Not only did we put this together, we killed a large number of gross spiders which I found personally exciting as it reminded me a lot of my childhood days. Then we went to the pub to meet the Air Commodore for dinner.

And an early night to bed for me.

xx Lektrogirl

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The last person I spoke to last night was my mum. I was telling her about something a bit awkward that happened recently and the reason why it happened and she CRACKED ME UP when she stared singing "HE'S A WANKER HE'S A WANKER HE'S A WANKER".

She was really pleased with herself - she said "I'm just like you - I'm in my pyjamas until 2pm! But maybe it's genetic cause my father stood there in his pyjamas and dressing gown all day if he really got into his architectural drawings..."

When I woke up this morning I called Mutts again. I asked her why we never got on when I was growing up. She said that I was quite distant, and I found her exactly the same. She also said that I used to really push her buttons by climbing up on to the fridge and refusing to get off. Neither of us could remember why I did that. Anyway now Mum and I get on really well. I guess I didn't get her until the last couple of years.

xx Lektrogirl



I remember trailing through Melbourne airport just before Christmas and posting on my blog that I was in search of some answers to that question 'Who am I?' while staring up at oversized Christmas baubles suspended from the ceiling checking out my distorted reflection. So much has happened since then. It is nice to find some moments of knowing myself - but then other times I wake up and it's like Freaky Friday and I've woken up in someone else's body. The Cardinal told me tonight about how much she hates washing up cutlery. This was really encouraging - I thought there was something wrong with me cause I also REALLY hate cutlery. I'm so happy to know I'm normal in that respect. I have been talking with Rubber Band Man. To be honest - I thought that maybe he was just a London party dude. I was so wrong. He is funny and clever and such a warm person. It is funny - when you meet someone sometimes you can find out so much about yourself, but at the same time have so much just tipped on it's head.

Tonight at the Air Commodore's birthday we had the worse Margaritas known to man at Diner on Curtain Road. I would rather drink bile than go back there again. And here are some pics from Go Bang! which was great. Alex T's DJing was awesome!

Fav picture of the night.

Me and the Air Commodore.

The greatest DJ. Check out the aura of the decks! Spiritual vibes.

What else to tell you - well there is a LOT. I'll tell you about the man I has sex with ten years ago that was at the party tonight another time. I think I want to go and thing a bit more about the answer to that question, who am I?

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 4 May 2008



The only thing that would make this picture of Julien more perfect would be if he had his dick out in his left hand. I really want to go to Paris soon, and if Bitch Ass Darius comes in June, then I guess that is definitely gonna happen while we go and get all New Jack Swing with the Diamond Grills Boys.

xx Lektrogirl

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We all replaced lunch with cake - or in my case, I sipped Lucozade from a tea cup. These pics are all by Sarah Lee who sometimes pops up in the Maison B videos with her camera of the new season A.P.C. and Pippa in a SONIA by Sonia Rykiel skirt.

Fellow gorgeous Australian Caz. We call her "Princess Margaret in the period before she burnt both her feet".

Madame. I wish I knew what was going through that guys mind. At least he knew he had to stand behind the yellow line cause Pippa Brooks was coming through...

Yours Truly repping one for the Tassie R Kelly fans from behind the desk cause it was the coolest, darkest spot in the whole shop. I'm gonna send this to my Mum so she can print it out for my Dad to put in his room.

Lisa Legs with the figure of a Barbie doll - she is my favourite Maison B 'model'. Here she looks a little bit like a teenager in a crazy bedroom with all her favourite pictures. Also it has a nice view of a few of the Madame A Trois in the corner of the shot.


How it really was... A bunch of mentals with a Neanderthal in the corner.

xx Lektrogirl

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It is the Air Commodore's 29th birthday today and so we shall be heading off to Go Bang to give him a 12 gun salute or something equally as fancy to celebrate that doesn't imply we are lowering his coffin into the ground. I'm excited cause Alex T is DJing and I'm trying to talk Mr Pink into coming too - we can pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend as we often too. Apart from the fact he bats for the other team we aren't such a mismatched couple.


Wow - got caught in a Web 2.0 time warp. I'm back now though... Where was I?

Thats right - at Ima Doll's birthday party. Check out her website 'excuse me while we under go some changes page'. HA!

And this is Ima in action.

xx Lektrogirl

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I have so much to write from over this weekend - Birthday parties, photographs in the shop with Mrs Kipling and Princess Margaret etc - and it is only Saturday night. But like Spiderman as photographed about, I have to take the day off. You cannot imagine how much I am looking forward to climbing into my bed and drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

Unlike these girls who were obs off to Tek Weh Yurselfs tonight:

Who were happy to pose away at the top of the escalators in Waterloo Station for all and sundry flashing their gusset and giving a wave.

xx Lektrogirl

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Warrick Brown - The straight George Michael and IMHO way hotter.

This news is a few days old now but still disturbing none the less. Especially the part where he is gonna get written out at the end of the 8th series!! I PRAY that Nick Stokes doesn't go too. Watching season 6 on DVD I even have started to fancy him with the moustache.

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 3 May 2008


It is so nice to be in Soho sitting in the basement shop in the cool sipping Lucozade from a teacup rejuvenating myself after another night on the grog. Duvel, Pinky Vodka [never had it before - super nice!] and half a bottle of prosecco. Felt like a complete troll when I woke up this afternoon and made it into town cause it is the Lady Gang afternoon tea party today.

Something incredibly unlady like is yesterday while strolling though my neighbourhood with a friend, we had to step around two of the most giant greasy poos glistening in the moonlight on Junction Road. They had to be human. Two night slugs. Totally heavy.

Tomorrow night is Nadia's Go Bang! which I am looking forward to go to - and most markedly because the Clearasil Cover Boy Alex T will be DJing.

It sounds like all I am doing at the moment is drinking too much. It is true. I promise I will stop soon.

xx Lektrogirl


Friday, 2 May 2008


so happy!



Can't stop thinking about this A.P.C. purse at Shop At Maison B. The Eley Kishimoto shoes are gorge but I rule out heels because I'm tall enough as it is...

xx Lektrogirl

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I don't know if anyone has picked up on this at all but I LOVE R Kelly. It used to be that Showdown was my ultimate favourite track by R Kelly, but I've really got into some other tracks of his that I will share with you today. My advice is listen to them when you have a bad headache cause I find them really therapeutic.

I'm A Beast (Dirty)

I imagine Alex T also sings this song when he gets up in the morning.
Like Snoop Dogg did, it seems Kels has dabbled with the T-Pain style voice box vocals.

There is no denying that this is another one of R Kelly's epic tracks.

Real Talk (Dirty)

'I aint gave no-body no damn money, girl. Are you tweaking??!!'A brilliant slow jam that takes you on a great journey. Oh, the trials and tribulations of and R&B legend's love life. 'And the next time your ass get horny you can go fuck one of your funky assed friends. Hell, you probably doing that shit anyway!'

Real Talk (Dirty) Juke Remix


xx Lektrogirl

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Shit, so last night at the Tabby Cat Lounge was really fun! On the walk to the venue from different directions, Venom and I both noticed how many really nice bars, pubs and restaurants there are in our area. The Tabby Cat Lounge [the name?!] looks really tiny from the front but actually inside it is massive and split over two giant rooms with a garden.

The Bad Things:
My major criticism was the horrid 'window' display they had of all the drinks on a computer print out without the file names removed - so everything was like tabbycat001.jpg, tabbycat002.jpg, tabbycat003.jpg etc etc. However, when I walked into the impressive interior I forgot about it.

A few of my drinks were listed in the menu to be garnished with cherries or mint. It disappointedly me [and I think reasonable to be saddened] that these items were omitted when the drink was served. It only impacted on my inner vibes that likes to have things done properly but did not impact on the drinks.

At another table there were four American girls talking so loud - one about her husband this that and the other, the other about sticking her fingers into a lighting sconce and electrocuting herself etc etc until one of them deservedly spilt a drink all over herself and down the back of the chair she was sitting on - everywhere.

The Good Things:
They serve Miller's Gin - £2.95!
Short cocktails are £5.95
Tall cocktails are £6.95
Champagne cocktails are £7.95
2oz cocktails are £3.95

My sick drink and Venoms Slippery Nipple.

I had a Cherry Martini, a Louisiana Lush, a Classic Champagne Cocktail, a Tom Collins [with Tanqueray Gin] and some red 2oz drink I can't remember the name of but it did taste a bit like sick and Venom kept up all the way and the whole bill was £60 [including service]. Which Venom paid!

My favourite drink was the Louisiana Lush that was Vanilla Vodka, Limes and something else.

Venom and I got REALLY PISSED. And were even friendly with one another!

It is of course just a matter of time before we fall out with each other again but we really had a great evening. Hopefully we don't have another big falling out before Summer time cause there are definitely going to be some good times there.

I did not have such a great morning this morning when the neighbours alarm clock went off at 5.45, then a wood pigeon from the Heath had a rest in my garden cooing to it's heart's delight in its throaty calls, then the hot mail man came to bring the rest of my new tea set:

I have settings for 6 people in this set. When will we all have a tea party? Maybe when Mrs Vanderbilt and Covvo are back in town which I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO!!!

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 1 May 2008



Awesome. YGM.

I'm sitting here listening to the the thunderstorm outside wondering what to put on to go and vote. Then I'm meeting Venom at the Tabby Cat Lounge at 9pm for anyone who wants to come along for a shankfest.

xx Lektrogirl

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Anyway then on my way home on lovely man on the tube gave me his copy of the Sunday Times. There was an article in it about the workers in London's Chinatown working for £5 a day - and everything else they got in tips was their good fortune - after having paid for their own uniforms and travel each day - what's left? Theya re also not allowed breaks etc etc. If you want to read the whole article, it is here. How bullshit is that?! I don't think I will be able to stomach eating in Chinatown again. I'm not a real political person, but I don't want to support people being employed under these conditions, illegal immigrants or not.

It has answered one of those questions for me like the ones about cheap clothes from places like H&M / Primark / Topshop / Uniqlo etc. If clothes are so cheap, who is actually paying the price? It seems the same way in Chinatown. Just think about the poor person in the kitchen who hasn't sat down all day, no healthcare, no holiday, no sick pay, working hours exceeding the legal minimum, no statutory rights... nothing... and bon appetite!

xx Lektrogirl



I'm now very used to this wet weather, even though I'm longing for summer. It seems being cooped up indoors is driving a lot of other people mad but I pulled on my Tretorn wellies today and stomped into Soho to pick up some 'clap' I had left there.

[N.B. I got a message from my Japanese friend Noriko who told me she was 'talking clap'. Oh how I laughed.]

While there, Pippa and I took loads of pics out on the street of dresses and all sorts. Then the rain got too heavy and we were indoors rolling around on the floor taking pictures of all the t-shirts in Shop At Maison B for the Shop website.

Pippa is really into all the OBEY t-shirts - she is really into the artwork. So her. I really like the new SONIA by Sonia Rykiel [pronounced Rik-i-el - like Rikki off Eastenders okay?]

I'm LOVING this blouse.

xx Lektrogirl

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