SORRY

Sorry about that - I've have been off the radar!

But, I went to a big gay sweatbox on the weekend with some friends and found myself in the middle of the dancefloor after giving birth to Ed Hardy next to a guy in an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt and three girls with a bottle of poppers. Spiritual moment of Mare Street and I find myself reborn.



The old me was in a terrible shape. I was a caterpillar of duvet and Namelesses old hoodie he got from the guy who ended up sleeping with his ex even though he said "Bros before hoes". I was watching endless cop shows nourished by cups of tea and phonecalls from my lady friends who wanted to see me through a dark patch.



The Italian, after coming over on Friday night and leaving me with a kiss and a see you later love and feeling all happy in my stomach, sent me a text on Tuesday saying "I don't need a new job, a girlfriend and friends take months even years. Please do me a favour and give me a break."

• He was calling me asking me how to teach him something.
• I had already told him twice "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now" [meaning HIM in particular but hanging out and being friends with him was super fun, though he didn't know that directly.]
• And I have known this guy for about 2 years.

Then AIR PIE from him for the whole week after trying to find out WTF that was all about!

My cleaner Dora settled me down to a few home truths:

• You dress like an African woman.
• God took this man out of your life because you have everything - a house, a job, a computer, the internet, money, your things, friends, you are a nice person - and all you need is someone to love and care for you. He is too stupid to even do that so God took him out of your life.
• You need to have more fun. Look at your friends [meaning The Cardinal cause she goes round there too.] She always is having fun. I see all the wine glasses. You need to have fun.
• The man you are looking for is out there searching for you.

Then the two coolest people in Paris arrived.



Hobart unfortunately turned into a shit machine all weekend. Unbelievable.

xx Lektrogirl

BUMMER

An American woman's body had became attached to her boyfriend's toilet after she sat on it for two years, police in Kansas said.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," said Bryan Whipple, the sheriff of Ness County.

It appeared Pam Babcock's skin had grown around the toilet seat, he added. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

The 35-year-old initially refused emergency medical care but her boyfriend, 36, and police officers finally convinced her to go to hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Mr Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."
The county attorney still has to decide whether any charges should be brought against Kory McFarren, the boyfriend.
Mr McFarren told investigators that he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow'," Mr Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."
The house in Ness City had a second bathroom that he could use.
On Feb 27, Mr McFarren called police to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend", Mr Whipple said, adding that the man never explained why it took him two years to pick up the phone.
Officers found Miss Babcock sitting on the toilet - fully clothed, except for her tracksuit bottoms pulled down to her mid-thigh.
She was "somewhat disoriented" and her legs looked like they had atrophied, the sheriff said. "She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave."
She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles away, where she is in a fair condition.
However, Miss Babcock has since refused to speak to police. Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.
James Ellis, a neighbour, said Miss Babcock's mother died at a young age and she was apparently mostly kept inside the house where she grew up.
"It really doesn't surprise me," Mr Ellis said of the bathroom incident. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."