Hi! My name is Lektrogirl and I am a business woman, musician, DJ, internet artist and general new media puppet.
I LOVE THE INTERNET. I collect animated gifs of love hearts, I make web pages. I love food. I miss my Dad who is back home in Tasmania, which is where I used to be from. Now I am from London. Booyah!!!
Having trouble readying my blog? Check it in IE, the internet's lowest common denominator [and personal favourite].
One of the many reasons I hang out with the boys for Madame whenever she asks me. I have to say, I wasn't there when this happened, but how fabulous that Madame recorded the event for all of us to see!
And oh!
More interesting than this woman having a go at the Beyoncé routine is the kid in the background. What is she up to?
But, I went to a big gay sweatbox on the weekend with some friends and found myself in the middle of the dancefloor after giving birth to Ed Hardy next to a guy in an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt and three girls with a bottle of poppers. Spiritual moment of Mare Street and I find myself reborn.
The old me was in a terrible shape. I was a caterpillar of duvet and Namelesses old hoodie he got from the guy who ended up sleeping with his ex even though he said "Bros before hoes". I was watching endless cop shows nourished by cups of tea and phonecalls from my lady friends who wanted to see me through a dark patch.
The Italian, after coming over on Friday night and leaving me with a kiss and a see you later love and feeling all happy in my stomach, sent me a text on Tuesday saying "I don't need a new job, a girlfriend and friends take months even years. Please do me a favour and give me a break."
He was calling me asking me how to teach him something.
I had already told him twice "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now" [meaning HIM in particular but hanging out and being friends with him was super fun, though he didn't know that directly.]
And I have known this guy for about 2 years.
Then AIR PIE from him for the whole week after trying to find out WTF that was all about!
My cleaner Dora settled me down to a few home truths:
You dress like an African woman.
God took this man out of your life because you have everything - a house, a job, a computer, the internet, money, your things, friends, you are a nice person - and all you need is someone to love and care for you. He is too stupid to even do that so God took him out of your life.
You need to have more fun. Look at your friends [meaning The Cardinal cause she goes round there too.] She always is having fun. I see all the wine glasses. You need to have fun.
The man you are looking for is out there searching for you.
Then the two coolest people in Paris arrived.
Hobart unfortunately turned into a shit machine all weekend. Unbelievable.
Paul C accused me of being racist on the grounds he is caramel and Alice I never met. But I love this video they made at home. I wonder if the will know I ripped it? I should probably tell them. Anyway isn't it wonderful to know that I wasn't the only one who was making videos over the weekend. You can check more about Wamp-Nation on their blog.
Life has been going a bit better for me than this rat I saw on the Holly Lodge Estate over the weekend. And better than this fish at the 02 Centre on Finchley Road where their aquarium mortality rate is incredibly high I think. Who can forget that big black fish that was floating around in the tank for months "asleep"?
Then I went out to Real Gold with The Cardinal after scoffing a bottle of Champagne that V gave me for Christmas, what was left of a bottle of vodka mixed with tonic on the tube and even more at the party itself.
Louis Enchanté was there standing in a puddle of water and I had a great chat to him later after he came to dry land and he then introduced me to his brother. While we all talked, a guy spent the evening on his hands and knees scooping up the flood with a plastic half pint glass into a bucket. I was thinking we were going to build an ark but it didn't come to that.
I was very excited to see DJ Assault play. He had called me earlier that day to ask me if I was able to come and hang out cause he had arrived earlier than he thought and he didn't know wassup. Unfortunately I was standing on The Frenchman's kitchen chair with a paintbrush in my hand and couldn't go. A shame. Never the less I got to see the "Porn Star In Training" later that night.
Don't hate a playa guys, just hate the game. It wasn't Assault's best set ever I have to say. He was doing a lot of juggles with doubles which I felt did not work out so great. His set was also his hits one after the other. Rumour has it that Daniel Lee is putting on DJ Assault some time later in the week at The Social which I think is the perfect club for DJ Assault. I would go check out Assault at The Social if the rumour is true!
I prefer sweaty dancing in big gay sweatbox dance clubs. A lot of people were standing there just watching the technique [Serato or equivalent...] which made serious dancing difficult - The Cardinal and I had some real moves going on. Fists ladies. The way to go. I got a lot of compliments from men telling me I am a good dancer. Thanks! Now get out of my way - I have some floor to shine. Guys were also presuming that just because I was dancing to the music that I wanted to be a sub on the dancefloor. I don't want to get dry humped by some English man with the front of his t-shirt pulled over his face. Remember that Icey Blu song Pump It?
On the way home, I found these on the side of the road. What happened?
The following day I didn't wake up til it was time to cook dinner. Yes. I stayed at The Frenchman's. I had dreams all night about sexual liaisons with a very good drinking friend of mine - I'm not sure we actually had sex but we were definitely vibing. If that wasn't peculiar enough, in the dream the windows of his house were wallpapered with aluminium foil, all the shelves were wonky and there were all this random horrible cheap plastic statues of pigs and carts with some crepe paper. And there were chewed up and mangled feathers all through the draughty cold and wet apartment from this mental cat that was eating an old feathered bathing costume. Freud - that one is all yours.
xx Lektrogirl
P.S. In other news, lameatnames.com was down again for bandwidth over usage this month. Valeria and I have to come up with some money making schemes.
Listen to the counter melody? Or does it count as a melody? Or just a synth line? It's so beautiful! And while you are dropping that ass to the ground - which is something people can do with all ass sizes - we don't have to be all bootylicious about this - why not check to see who got kicked to the curb lately? It might just surprise you!
I actually untagged this picture of myself on Facebook. I don't know why I bothered cause I have a totally private profile. I regret untagging it now. Because you know me - Mrs. No Secrets. The last time I was in the Glasshouse was years ago with Nick Phillips / Noodles drinking Ayingerbrau [a.k.a. The Angry Brew] Rail slide down a tube station bench on my shoulder [how I did that I will never know] and throwing up all night bright orange vomit until Noodle's flatmates thought I was gonna lose a liver. Speaking of Noodles, I saw ANDREW HARTWELL of all people at PIZZA the other night. AND BDL walked past while our whole table got a glacial vibe shower from his girlfriend. AND FOUL PLAY FOWLER. The shame. That hadn't happened to me since about 1999 when Karl Hutchinson, Chris Chang Towers, Dan Moss and someone else - probably Smiler all rolled into The Bricklayers Arms AND SAT AT THE SAME TABLE. I was there with The Witch at the time choking on my pint. See how much I have changed? I would down pints back then with a full face of make-up with a severe bob and Prada shoes.
I'm off to have more of a living room disco chill out and max out those dance vibes. So much fun.
Had a WICKED time though before that at PIZZA which is Cesca's mates party. Me and Mr Chips totally cleaned up the dance floor together. So happy! I really needed a dance out. I drank far too much and am a bit hung over today. Thank Allah that there is a lunch date planned with the Kuntish Frown crew [The Cardinal, The Air Commodore] at The Junction Tavern. Be there at 2pm if you have a score to settle and have a mind to shank. I'll be ready for you.
I bought two Marjan Pejoski shirts the other day and am LOVING them. Here is a fucking overly gross picture of me in one of them.
Got I get onto YouTube today and it recommends a video to me that is just like watching myself in another 10 - 15 yers... hell maybe 5 if someone throws acid in my face.
She has a better body than me.
I have to say that for the time being I cannot bare to look at gash being held open with craggy fingers for a fat husbands delight any longer so I won't be updating lameatnames.com for the time being - it will all be Valeria. I know that it is in good hands. I bet the the lady dancing in the video also has her own Flickr page. YGM.
She also does Haddaway what is love. Fellas imagine giving her a ride...
Anyway I'm cooking roesti right now which need my attention.
OH SHIT forgot to say - in the tragic mind of a sad and lonely blogger such as myself who can't help but occasionally tease someone. I am personally a big fan of Prancehall's blog just for the record even thought he hates me.
the best things on your blog you nick from other people. lucky you sit at home all day surfing the net or you'd have no content at all. 2:12 AM
Was me. I was rotfling when I wrote it and didn't realise Pranny was going to have a little pebble in his pants over it like someone on the planet mu forum. I'm sorry.
At my new job I have been TCB - [learnt this from Bok Bok via Manara - Take Care of Business.] Basically, getting stuck into some long overdue paperwork house keeping so that I can get cracking with my job properly. So sorting, filing, researching, asking questions, updating computers etc etc. The people I work with are super nice and couldn't be more helpful - but for those of you who read my blog who have ever had a job [so that would be 90% the girls, 30% of guys who have had 'real jobs' 30% of guys who have kind of had 'pretend jobs' that were just like DJing for cash or something but it still counts - the left over girls and 40% men you won't get this] - you will understand that a new job is always A LOT; Working out if you wore the right thing, who will be your allies, how everyone has their tea, how long you can talk on the phone without looking like a slacker, can you install Miranda/Trillion etc... S.T.R.E.S.S. And of course, overcoming my Internet addiction and having to drink cows milk for the time being out of an ugly cup. [How long can I leave it before I can bring in my own china teacup for plunger coffee without everyone thinking I'm a tosser but thinking I'm cool and quirky? YGM?]
So the following song, Let There Be House, is dedicate to me and my new job.
This song also holds some very deep connections to my life back in Tasmania. When this record first came out, I bought the 12" and went totally nuts listening to it over and over and dancing all the stresses of my life out in the hallway on Mum's new carpet. I was in year 11 or 12 - so 16 or 17. I was the bane of Mum's life - because the carpet was so new and woolly, one dance session would kick up all the new fluff of the wool - virtually tumble weave - that she would go round clucking and picking up spluttering at me "Stop It!! You are kicking up all the carpet!! You will dance a hole in the carpet!!"
Listening to this song again now is a really great de-stress session for me. On top of the new job and the heartbreak over the Chanel lipstick really not being up to scratch, I had a fucking shit start to the week over really weird weird stuff that has also been on my mind. I just feel so much is in the bin right now - more like hard knocks from other people's misplaced weirdness - and like my astrology said today - 'just let it be like water off a duck's back' which is true, but when I'm super stressed/tired about a new job its hard. I went out to dinner with Max tonight and he asked me about all my woes [I cried in China Town - AGAIN! - FFS!! I really must be hitting menopause!!] and it was so nice to be sitting with one of my oldest bestest craziest friend 'chewing the fat'.
Something to look forward too though! I am going to Nantes to see Puyo Puyo and Eva on the 18th October for a gig there. WOOHOO. I don't know who else is playing but I am sure it will be excellent. I haven't seen them since I met them in Liege - the same night I met Lu and Bernd from Mash Gordon. FUCK ME!! THAT WAS A PARTY!! Yerrr...
I have been listening to nothing by The Isley Brothers for the last couple of days. I reckon I could be a great mini cab driver soon. I just have to be able to deal with the smell of those trees. Anyway there are two songs you really need to check out - one is called "I Like" written by and featuring R Kelly and Snoop Dogg. The other one is called "Body Kiss" which is a slow, sexual and spiritual jam that is like flies caught in syrup on a hot day - it is sweet and sickly - especially the kissy noises that Ronald does through the song and L'il Kim sounds real husky and dirty too even though they have put auto tuner on her vocals. Amazing. LOL. Amazing delivery by Mr Biggs. His voice is exquisite. Slow jammer. See I told you I should be a mini cab driver.
Not like the poor pigeon above which is more like the state of my life than the vibes going on in an R&B jam. Having said that, I had an amazing time last night. In a suspect outfit I met with Mr Chips, The Cardinal, Jappers and Bird Cage and went to Cocadisco for some above and below the waist dancing. There I saw SPENNY TUNGATE OMG - he is the greatest dancer - gave myself serious bruises fisting Rachel and got spit on by Paul Pieroni who was doing really incredible floor skids. I was super impressed.
Julianiswatching was also there and looked like a cheese string on the dance floor and pulled some pretty impressive shapes. He's a super sexual dancer!! I would want to be his friend if he didn't spend the whole night inferring I was fat by trying to tickle me all night. There are only two places I'm ticklish and one of them is my inner thigh. The other is more available to the general public so I'm not going to tell. Though my father was a big one for tickles so I spent my childhood years developing the power of mind over matter as an invisible force field for tickle threats.
Earlier in the evening I had a really interesting conversation with James and Amph keeping my eye on what is really important. Here we see the guys eye to eye discussing man to man stuff.
Even earlier in the day, Carri came to see me at the shop. I made her pose for hours while I worked out the flash on the camera that Mrs Kipling has leant me.
Don't think she found it such a chore. When other visitors came in to see me I had to kick them all out cause we were having a really good conversation about tummy rolls and the best meal deals from KFC. Carri and I are high rollers you may have noticed. No fucking junior spesh for us for one pound fifty.
Genuine good times. So much fun! God yesterday turned out to be WWIICCKKEEDD.
Probably cause I went and had a proper dinner for a change at The Giaconda Dining room. It is on Denmark Street. It is so good. I had tuna, puy lentils - everything you see pictured here. People at a nearby table were saying rather loudly "Why is she taking pictures of her food?" so I bogged them out hoping to give one of them a dirty look, but they were too busy talking about me they didn't look back over. They were saying that people who blog food are good for recommendations of restaurants on the internet. If I could recommend any place in London right now, it would have to be The Giaconda Dining room. I can't wait to go back again.
Thank God I disable scrobbling cause just now I ate some macaroni cheese and a bit of floury pear and danced around the living room more times than I would care to admit to the trashy Calvin Harris / Dizzee Rascal song Dance Wiv Me. I know. THE SHAME. Lots of cool hand clap dancing and spinning though. Amazing. I cannot tell you how much better I feel for it though! A little bit like scoffing two macaroons from Ladurée. Def on a par. So L'Oreal. YGM.
I know I have been long on this, but tomorrow I will go and get the charger for the Leica Mrs Kipling leant me [OMG the conversation I witnessed yesterday between Mrs Kipling and Lord Fauntleroy over who was most posh and how obvious it was in each other. ROTFLOL. HILARITY.] cause tomorrow night I am going to WORK IT with The Cardinal - so all the dancing now and getting loose is in preparation for that.
Oh and wag1 with prancehall.com today? It's dead?!
TWO TIMES IN ONE DAY!! First my Auntie sent me an email about the YearOfTheDragonWikkid.doc which is basically a number/list thing chain letter. I did it just because I was actually really busy today and when that happens, anything to procrastinate. The upshot of the Auntie chain email thing is that Pippa Brooks knows me well, Jasmine is my Lucky Star, the song A$$ Clap by Khia makes me think of Silverlink, I connect the song Hairbraider with my ex Paul [I know!! MEGALOLZ!!] who I really care about but just don't get along with This Guy's In Love with You by Sasha Distel is my state of mind and I'm In Luv With A Stripper is how I feel about life. SO RANDOM. I am supposed to pass the email onto 9 other people due to the number I wrote down at the beginning of the whole questionnaire but as I really am not into this kind of thing at all I wasn't going to bother.
The rules are set by Simon Reynolds [dunno who he is]: “List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.” Only I don't know 7 other people who write blogs so I won't be spreading this around. It is true - I am that self obsessed. However please if you feel the urge feel free to post your top 7 as a comment to this post. Remember you can post with Live ID [remember that hideous moment when I had to switch of anonymous posts cause of the shit stirrer trying to make trouble between me and my ex and his new girlf? LOLZ - it didn't work! The 'alleged perpetrator' of that posting crime is now single. I hope they are crying their eyes out on their pillow every night... Awww that wasn't very nice of me. But that is cause I'm such a bad person I guess.]
So here are my 7 tracks:
Khia My Neck My Back
Well I am not ACTUALLY listening to this song at all - but it is rolling around in my head due to the substantial neck injury I have sustained recently. I have to comment that my neck has improved a whole lot more today after receiving an amazing massage that I was trying not to enjoy too much and keeping my knees together cause I was in the presence of children as well as a total babe. Khia always reminds me of Pippa - because she used to have the Thug Missus CD. That is still a joke like 6 or 7 years later.
Amon Duul II Archangel Thunderbird
I KNOW!! A Prog Rock track made by Krauts while lying in bed and tripping on acid. In fact the comments on YouTube are like "chaos6270 (1 month ago) best version of this is on the live in london album did some good trips to that." SO NOT ME but I love this song. Please excuse the hideous video. It was the least offensive I could find.
Kap Bambino New Breath
I'd also like to sneak in SAVE by Kap Bambino as well but I don't want to expend too many of my choices to the same band. I think I might have post them before as well.
Roger Miller Dang Me
This song reminds me of my father getting totally shit faced and listening to his Roger Miller album and singing this song over and over. I remember him from when I was really little driving home drunk, coming out of the car covered in sick and my mum having to hose him down in the back yard. There are a number of Roger Miller videos on YouTube but only from when he is an old man with too much Botox. Okay so obviously it looks like I dunno WTF I am doing cause I forgot about this song SLK - Hype Hype and but liked the story of my vomiting father. The Cardinal and I after enough to drink will be bouncing down any Dalston Street getting all Hype Hype. Oh and old jokes! I used to crack Nameless up singing round the house "Hype Hype Lotion Hype Hype Lotion Gonna Get You Wid Da Hype Hype Errrrghhh".
Scooter Maria
This version is the remix of the original song, featuring Dick Rules, and DJ Mark Acardipane. So fucking hard to pick which Scooter song I love the best but this is pretty fantastic. Guaranteed to get me super hyped at the right time! Watching this makes me miss all my family in Hamburg that I never get to see enough. And OMG you need to check them out back in the day. Okay and before they were a rave band, they were THIS:
OKAY!!??
Pineapples Come Closer
Best song. I love this so much. This is how I feel when I fall in love and get all mushy and teenage again. The best feeling ever.
Ginuwine Pony
Those who know me, know that this song is on my ALL TIME GREATEST SONGS EVER OF EVER EVER EVER and whenever it comes on where ever I am I am just flipping out all over the room. Like these two... I am trying to make head or tail of this video as I type. I bet her mother must be proud. And I bet that guy is really proud of himself. So awkward. And who was the camera person?
And as an aside to this whole 7 videos thing
J Smoov in the parking lot. How is that that kids the the UK can only come up with shanking in the 02 centre carpark here in Finchley Road? Shouldn't they be up to a load of sexual healing in the sunshine good times with their homes after training on the track team Stateside?
xx Lektrogirl
THURSDAY UPDATE: Another reason why I hate writing lists like this is now today if I were to list again, it would be TOTALLY different. I mean, I forgot Sexy Results that I listen to once a day, In Flagranti, Tom Ware, Hikashu, YMO blah blah and DJ mixes from all my favourite usual suspects - DJ Venom, DJ Guy, Bok Bok & Manara, Goon & Koyote, Bitch Ass Darius etc.
From: khriskhaos2 Joined: 1 year ago Videos: 25 Please login to subscribe. Added: September 29, 2007 (More info) Click This To Learn New Dance Moves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuG46sPc-LU Watch That Video & Comment Please http://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/FLAWLESSKBLACK ADD ME ON MYSPACE! This Is A 10 Minute Dance Tutorial That You Will Not Regret Watching.' I have been requested by over 300 people to make a serious dance tutorial on how to dance for women. This video is for both women and males.. i know alot of girls dont know how to grind and are embarrassed to dance for their boyfriends so ladies u can learn from this because it looks even sexier when done by a female.
this will not work when done for EVERY single girl.. alot of girls don't find this sexy at all,but i guareentee you that the MAJORITY of women LOVE to see a guy dance this way.. it turns them on and it makes them wonder if you can move your body like that in bed..
The easiest way to figure out if a girl will enjoy watching you do this.. is to find out what TYPE of music she listens to.. If she listens to any music artists that mostly talks about sex.. that means she will LOVE to see you dance this way and will be wishing she was there to dance with you.. here are a few examples.. Pretty Ricky Usher Tyrese Jagged Edge J Holiday Genuwine Silk D' Angelo Justin Timberlake LL Cool J Ludacris Lil Kim 112 R Kelly Blackstreet Bobby Valentino Ne-Yo B2K Brandon Hines If the girl enjoys listening to any of those artists... theres a good chance that she would love to see a guy who can do these freaky dances.
I Have A Myspace Page Too www.myspace.com/flawlesskblack
This was the December post for The New Dance Show. I haven't stopped watching it since it went online. Some sexual man dancing. About 2 minutes in the music is phenomenal.
Now this show has got to be a winner - Cooking with Coolio.
Remember Gangsters Paradise? I was working in the Joseph consession at Harvey Nichols when that came out. That was my first job in London. We weren't even allowed to wear open toed shoes and we had to wear suits. And I would spend my nights drinking at The Coach and Horses and Riki Tiks, going out in Shorditch didn't even exist then, and clubbing at Smashing on Regent Street. There were girls I worked with a Joseph I wish I was still in contact with - Claudine, Maude and Jessica. And this is where I met Molly [Mollywood] who was to be a long standing partner in crime - not so much these days - but we sure did make a lot of trouble together! This is also where I met Reuben for the first time - covering him on the men's floor when he couldn't be bothered to come home from holiday in France with his girlfriend on time. We first met over the phone when I blasted him for being a loser and that he owed me big time for making me stand downstairs and miss out on all the commission I would have earnt upstairs. It wasn't such a big loss - I met Martin Gore and Fletch from Depeche Mode shopping in there. And when Reuben [Hot Dog] came back, he and his girlfriend Pascale [C.I.B.] became too of my best friends. Good times.
Prancehall has just learnt about tektonik / jumpstyle / Melbourne shuffle when we were all talking about it on Nasty Nets [not a porn site, promise] back in September 07. Some of you more dedicated fans of my blog will remember me blogging about the little meuf Yelle who sang the shitty song about Cuisinier and TTC back in August 07 and the the next track she had remixed - A Cause des Garcons - a Tektonik version - which I was totally in love with.
Anyway thankfully Prancehall has finally caught up cause I was reminded and went searching for un update par les clubbeurs et voila:
You also need to check out this community for these people. Here is Karmapa92. I don't need to link more - it is finally 2008 and you all know how to work the Internet.
Thanks for giving me this... I will never sleep now.
This is OUR SONG? Well I challenge you to sing this at karaoke! Cursing me with this song was pretty heavy! LOL.
Anyway majority audience, this is one for you.
Just checking up on my buddy Babyjoker21 to see how his Christmas went. GREAT CHOICE OF TRACK. There is nothing sweeter than R Kelly with the water drop snare. I don't think I would want to unwrap my presents after this happened in front of them. Finally I think I have been pushed to my limit with the hip rolling. Particularly when he takes his top off and you get to see that he is wearing little budgie smuggler panties with those white tracky daks and socks. The outfit is wrong. Now that XXCENSOREDXX has come clean about thinking I'm a bitch etc, there is no way I will ever get to be able to restyle Ruff Sqwad! Maybe I'm gonna have to contact these guys. [Hang on - was XXCENSOREDXX hating on me when he used my post about the Ruff Sqwad fashion commentary on his blog? Weird.
God, there arent't as many videos made like this one by Etiquette 13 any more. AWESOME!!
And I am totally obsessed with the hip rolling guys!! AKA "{Dance/Fan Pg}DEM BOYZ can get U(_)U FILL IT N's" I'm not quite sure what it mean's but that is who they are. My favourite one is called Killa J.
And I have a new affection for T-Pain I didn't know could be possible. And he is such a weirdo to sing with the Cher voice.
Totally was weird. I had this moment in the fitting rooms. I couldn't stop looking at myself thinking "life is different now". I don't know if I am mental or sane. Either way it meant I was an hour late for meeting Paul at Top Of The Town. So I had to go find him at Wong Kei which always makes me cry in there after the shittiest night of my life some years ago with an Irish cunt called Kevin Sheridan. I made Paul leave his plate of puke behind and we went and had our old usuals at T.O.T.T. Me - Sweat and Sour Pork. Him - String Bean Szechuan Style with Pork. But I was late for everything today. I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date... I hope Dal forgives me.
So I tried on a lot of clothes today as well. I was in the Mui Mui section trying on knitwear with this puffy mohair sleeves. They made me look like I had arms like the Gorilla in the Cadbury's commercial. Really. So I went back to the area I was really interested in - the Lingerie. Unfortunately, Alex Tea must have got lost on the way cause he Facebooked me to say he was gonna meet me in Agent Provocateur at 3 to help me choose bra's but he didn't show. Gutted. In my deep greif, I ended up buying four new bra's.
Vampirella. I was talking with Manara the other day about one knocker being bigger than the other.
Frumpy. I really like awkward underwear. There is a bra in Fifi Chachnil in Paris that I am obsessed with that I have gone back to see twice now. Only it is hideously expensive cause it is made from silk. And usually by the time I get there I have spunked my money in the antique jewellery shop over the road.
Anyway - while shopping in Agent Provocateur for these two, the music that came on was WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT:
Joe Jackson: Steppin' Out FUCK WHAT AN UGLY MAN!!! Talk about ruin your vinegar stroke. but I this is the third time I have heard this song in a shop lately... A while ago it was this:
His hip rolling though is really bad... [check end of the post for more...]
Cutey. This one is DJ Venoms favourite, but I dedicate this one to the man in the bar who I think is cute but I'm not sure if he is gay or not. I'm glad that DJ Venom, my lifestyle coach did have words to say about my shopping tonight on AIM.
00:21:34: do you think i should take the blue bra [not pictured] back 00:22:13: i think you need blue pants to go with it 00:22:24: i never wear matching underwear 00:22:31: cheap ho 00:22:36: yeah i know 00:22:42: you'll never impress a guy like that 00:23:02: i often wear matching socks, pants and t-shirt 00:23:08: same pantone 00:23:18: the only other person i know who does that is a homo. but he is thebest dressed man i know 00:24:53: omg - XXCENSOREDXX* agrees with you about the matching knickers
* Would love to tell you but I can't. Here is what he said tho' online tonight.
00:24:02: my lifestyle coach, daniel lee, says i will never impress a guy if i dont wear knickers that match my bra. 00:24:05: is that true? 00:24:23: yeah 00:24:25: totally true 00:24:40: does it have to be the same set or can it colour co-ordinate. 00:24:48: same set 00:24:58: fuck me 00:25:13: that is gonna be a LOT 00:25:16: yep 00:27:09: do all girls match their underwear? 00:27:23: i mean i imagine rhiannan does 00:27:31: sorry that is a lezza i know 00:27:40: i mean the umbrella girl 00:27:57: yeah i think so 00:27:59: most do 00:28:09: o rly
Sadly, my obsession - that was started by Ramiro Elena - rests with bras alone. Not knickers. My other obsession is taking pictures up girls skirts.
Here is Jo, the new girl at work. Her photoshop skills are exception and she has an amazing eye for detail. Though the small hole in her tights might lead you to a different opinion of her. That and the chipped nail polish.
Finally: Keeping with the sexual vibe of this post - on to the Hip Rollin videos that are good. No no, they are AAMMAAZZINGGGG!!
Turn the sound down on this and crank up Skream's Midnight Request Line. If you decide to bother to stand up, just hop from one leg to the other without taking your foot off the ground. Basically, that's it.
This is DJ Guy's first release of his brand new label Global Fire which is pretty grand considering he also just bought Serato yesterday too. He said he felt really sad cause it really felt like the end of an era. But he said already Serato was amazing. Last night DJ Guy, Bitch Ass Darius and I "had a drink or two" at the The Star. It was the triad of minds that evening on the sofa, and later at my crib where we decided it would be a great idea to drink the two bottles of red wine on top of all the drinking we have already done.
Originally presented to me in a Morrisons*** bag, here is a slighter hotter picture of the new record!
Left Tittie: Bucked Up Who Wanna The Raw
Right Tittie: The Runner Big Pussy
So from the expert mind of Lektrogirl [who miraculouly woke up totally clear headed this morning!] Bucked Up - "Get Buck" / Young Buck and some great music. Great for getting your titties out to and shaking your F.U.P.A. Who Wanna - well who doesn't? I know I always want to. The Raw - You Get Me!? This is the best track on the EP and it makes me want to dance like a German girl all up in the place and fuck the snot out of any guy. Well there is a man in particular... Anyway - you will know which bit of the track I mean when you hear it. You will start doing the Wutang* and the Spongebob Dance** all at once on the floor. The Runner - The "Doh" vocals etc by DJ Guy himself. [Yes it is true that I didn't believe Bitch Ass Darius sang "Mount Up Bang That Butt" himself, but he did a live performance of it in the living room later that evening that was most convicing!] Big Pussy - A vintage DJ Guy track written back in 2002. My only negative comment on this track is that it doesn't say BIG PUSSY enough. But maybe that is cause if all pussy's smelt like mine the world would be a really happy place [they don't call me Platinum Pussy in Hamburg for no reason you know] - but maybe you can get too much of a good thing? It must be awful for those girls out there with fannies like crabsticks.
Yes! It is true that there are pictures of Brains in glitter pants and glitter make up and marajuana leaf socks in a Katharine Hamnett SAVE THE WORLD t-shirt!! However, you will have to content yourselves with this:
Don't send me to the Big Brother Diary Room for saying Cholo, but if I sang the song on Big Brother, would they evict me? I don't think I would get away singing Fuck 'Em by David Banner but maybe cause there aren't so many Mexicans here I'd get away with it. The fake Aussie should be thrown out for her AWFUL accent. I dunno what state she thinks she is from... I'll have to ask her where 'The Black Stump' is.
Anyway...
DJ Koyote said once I dance like a German girl. It wasn't until much later he admitted that he danced like a German guy so I was less cut. Actually I think I probably look more like this little dude. I will be busting out some of his moves on Saturday night at the DJ Assault gig I think. I still haven't managed to be Blankin' for more than 30 seconds without dying. And then I can't even stand up again. As for Strokin' that is just too homo, and I will leave it to the experts like Prancehall and ASBO D to dance like that. I maybe I will just stand in the corner with a bottle of beer and drink until I wet myself like XXCENSOREDXX used to do regularly at the Rephlex gigs at Heaven. In fact, he actually shat himself once.
Oh Man! So I'm awake now and I really wanted a cool chill out weekend with a lot of rest. Next weekend I'm in Paris with Pippa and that will take a lot of energy eating cake. Etc. Max is also going to be there too I think. He will want to chew the fat. But I don't want to do that. Pippa and I planned to check out Fifi Chachnil but I don't think I can stand Max's tourettes whilst doing that and also the £1200 for the ticket to Australia for Christmas burnt a hole in my... soul... Anyway where was I?! Okay so on Friday night was the Extreme Animals show at the Old Blue Last. I like that pub a lot and think it is great for "traditional" bands, DJ's and MC's but not the best for making a big gay sweatbox - which I was definitely in the mood for. But many very very cool things happened though, which resulted in this:
Thug Missus
Daniel ASBO D kissed me right on the mouth in front of Prancehall when I said hello. It was a total moment. My knickers couldn't keep it all in. Prancehall won't let me take pictures of him any more. It doesn't matter. I still have a lot of old ones I can post and make stupid jokes that I don't mean and totally offend him with...
The Incredible Hulk
Philipa promoting the 7Yeezie / DO IT! party featuring DJ Assault
After the sound check, Philipa, James, Jacob, David and I all went and had dinner together. James was being the Alpha Male all night. But that is okay cause he is doing some design work for really big cosmetic companies right now and I'm sure his office is like full of girls walking around in bath robes getting facial treatments and bikini waxes. Philipa and I were trying to calculate the number of beers she could drink to stay under the legal limit cause she had to drive the drum kit back again. We had a good time at dinner with a lot of warm converstation and friendly laughs. I wish we had invited these guys along. They would have really helped keep our positive vibes buoyant.
Brains, Easychord, Thugly.
Oh no - hang on it's okay - Brains got loose. Paul and Paul
Silverlink and Paul came. Cassetteplaya came.
The Extreme Animals came.
And with the rythmic wild congo style deep from africa spiritual drumming of David:
Jacob got naked:
Silverlink and Brains got sexual and demanded Carrie and I perform a Booty-Off with one another:
And with the out of control vibes rising I spiritually raped Jacob: And the whole night ended in a fried chicken orgy back on my sofa bed at 2AM. We listened to Mo-Do and all fell asleep. BOOYAH! xx Lektrogirl
P.S. Also to note XXCENSOREDXX and XXCENSOREDXX are hating on XXCENSOREDXX right now cause they feel like XXCENSOREDXX isn't being a good enough friend right now. There was some major air pie around.
P.P.S. Also, XXCENSOREDXX writes gossip as their main job. But XXCENSOREDXX is the first person to give me grief if I write something here that XXCENSOREDXX doesn't like. XXCENSOREDXX's justification is that the people I write about are people me and all my friends know which is personal stuff. Maybe I have ideas about my station and I think that me and all my friends live in our own celebrity stratosphere, but are celebrities people too?
Some useful dance moves. They have competitions for being able to dance like this well. And apparently, bagggggggy trousers [i.e. raver trousers] are encouraged cause when you get the moves right, and the trousers cover the feet, it can make the dancer look like they are floating over the stage. Not very sexual though. Probably more spiritual. Definitely a lot of lasers etc needed. And a smoke machinge.
I think the combination of these YouTube videos would make for a fun afternoon.
Take a look. Where ever you are, whatever city you are in, check my personal recommendations to eat and drink WITH PICTURES. Better than a day old pasty. lektrotour.wordpress.com
She BY LEKTROGIRL / Emma Davidson FROM THE ALBUM 'I LOVE MY COMPUTER' [REPHLEX CAT079]
No Rap No Rock DIRECTED BY NICK PHILLIPS FROM THE ALBUM 'I LOVE MY COMPUTER [REPHLEX CAT079]
Midnight Maglev DIRECTED BY MAPH'S BROTHER FROM THE ALBUM 'I LOVE MY COMPUTER' [REPHLEX CAT079]
Microtel as Lektrolab w/ Paul B. Davis
A LIVE IN TWO WEEK TELETEXT PROJECT WITH DUTCH TELEVISION STATION NOS, BROADCAST COUNTRY WIDE DURING THE ROTTERDAM INTERNATION FILM FESTIVAL 2006.
The Wedding Website - Lektrogirl 2004
AN INTERNET BASED INVITATION/PROJECT THAT PAUL HATED UNTIL IT WON EQUAL FIRST PLACE IN OLIA LIALINA'S 1000$ WEBSITE COMPETITION. COMING SOON: THE DIVORCE WEBSITE
