SORRY

Sorry about that - I've have been off the radar!

But, I went to a big gay sweatbox on the weekend with some friends and found myself in the middle of the dancefloor after giving birth to Ed Hardy next to a guy in an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt and three girls with a bottle of poppers. Spiritual moment of Mare Street and I find myself reborn.



The old me was in a terrible shape. I was a caterpillar of duvet and Namelesses old hoodie he got from the guy who ended up sleeping with his ex even though he said "Bros before hoes". I was watching endless cop shows nourished by cups of tea and phonecalls from my lady friends who wanted to see me through a dark patch.



The Italian, after coming over on Friday night and leaving me with a kiss and a see you later love and feeling all happy in my stomach, sent me a text on Tuesday saying "I don't need a new job, a girlfriend and friends take months even years. Please do me a favour and give me a break."

• He was calling me asking me how to teach him something.
• I had already told him twice "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now" [meaning HIM in particular but hanging out and being friends with him was super fun, though he didn't know that directly.]
• And I have known this guy for about 2 years.

Then AIR PIE from him for the whole week after trying to find out WTF that was all about!

My cleaner Dora settled me down to a few home truths:

• You dress like an African woman.
• God took this man out of your life because you have everything - a house, a job, a computer, the internet, money, your things, friends, you are a nice person - and all you need is someone to love and care for you. He is too stupid to even do that so God took him out of your life.
• You need to have more fun. Look at your friends [meaning The Cardinal cause she goes round there too.] She always is having fun. I see all the wine glasses. You need to have fun.
• The man you are looking for is out there searching for you.

Then the two coolest people in Paris arrived.



Hobart unfortunately turned into a shit machine all weekend. Unbelievable.

xx Lektrogirl

PRON

PRON, originally uploaded by pilgrim' s progrock.

EMAIL COMPUTER

IMG_3039, originally uploaded by Dixon Steele.

NO SECRETS

I was thinking about this on the walk home from the tube station today, rather than trying to take photos of yellow things in the rain.

As a point of note for all guys, it is almost 85% certain that your girlfriend knows your password. And she knows it in the same way she knows where you left your cheque book / keys / belt. It is deeply mystifying to males how females do this [specially as we are always losing stuff.]

However girls, if your boyfriend has any brains at all and is a bit techno savvy, he will be well aware of keystroke capture software he will be able to install on computers you use and learn all your secrets. It isn't hard. Monsieur Raide was expert at stuff like this. And a German I knew.

I'm stuffed from dinner with my favourite Mr Pink at The Duke Of York on Doughty Mews. He really is so funny. Our most current joke involves a story about the look on his old dog's face when it licked a wee in the street and Mr Pink prancing around calling out random disses like he was a Kingston dancehall queen. He also had some great stories tonight about riding in a rickshaw with Pete Burns round Soho back in the 80's and Daryl Hall allegedly having a wooden leg. But I can't go for that. No can do.

xx Lektrogirl

Toadfish is a total bogan [The Simpsons]

THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I HAVE SEEN IN AGES. Jacob showed me and we were talking like Toadfish for the rest of the day. And they way Homer says "Marge, You are breaking my heart!" is a real tear jerker.

You can find more of the Famicon peeps who made this here.

Did I marry a homo?

Last night was Paul's exhibition opening at Seventeen and the gallery was rammed. Every time I turned around tho' Paul was talking to a different old guy with a pierced ear who was staring at Paul rather too intently. Philipa Cardinal said that it was perhaps Paul's outfit was a little suggestive of that of a rent boy.

My favourite piece is this:

Video Compression Study 1
Paul B Davis and Jacob Ciocci

This one is the mash up of two sets of data from two separate YouTube videos using Paul's fucked up keyframe technique. It's hot.

I also like this:

Inside Edition
Paul B Davis

This one is a hacked NES cart. It's hot.

Later on over the road at Jaguar Shoes, we had a really great time:

Paul was thrilled, and Silverlink and I discussed hair care tips and styling issues cause as Silverlink noted, he and I have very simlar hair. One thing for sure is that Silverlink really needs to work on his Photoface[TM] - I have got Photoface[TM] DOWN these days.

Through the journey of the evening I heard that Prancehall has started playing Blondie records - in particular Heart of Glass is a favourite of his. This was the source of great mirth. At the same time I was told this Prancehall actually walked in but so did Silverlink I went over to say hi to Silverlink and Prancehall came to talk to who I was just talking to. Not sure if it was a dual Air-Pie cause apparently I'm still in trouble for saying he PHYSICALLY has a big head or just one of those social circumstances. Anyway - this thing about Blondie - that's not all I heard but the rest is under wraps for now.

I saw ASBO D at the exhibition too. He came up to me and though he didn't officially apologise for calling me cunt, his first track he DJed at the Jaguar Shoes afterparty was my remix for Puss. He also said that I was far more musically talented than Paul.

It was nice to spend time with Philippa hearing news from her travels and tales of amazing food. Apparently her syphalitic cat is still well and survived her absence. OMG - brain clicked back into gear - she told me that XXCENSOREDXX used to stroke the beard of XXCENSOREDXX who uses bikini clippers on his beard and say that XXCENSCORED'SXX beard feels just like XXCENSORED'SXX pussy hair. Lord.

Alex Tea was also present, after having some root canal work.

There is something really sexual about this picture. I think it is the seam line down the roof of his mouth that does it to me.

And finally - latest neighbourhood news is that local store Pure Groove that used to be the epicentre of UK Garage and 2 Step, now more useful record store, had a display in their window of BOY BETTER KNOW t's. [You know - the ones that everyone on Prancehall's blog wears] Unfortunately for them some local lad ran in and swiped the lot. While I was in Pure Groove browsing the other day there were THREE enquiries in 30 minutes from people wanting to buy these t's.

xx Lektrogirl

Personality transplant

God and there I was thinking I had no life. Check this out:


I have to say that before I met Prancehall, I imagined him to be a bit like this dude who made the video. I am wrong of course, and Pranny is what is termed "Internet Thug". I don't know if he has ever played Spyromania, but I have. Though my favourite is Crashbandicoot.

Oh this is a fucking awesome video with the flickering screen!!

Wow - this guy spends a lot of time playing Crash. Artist!

Anyway to sit here and watch cheats and videos of Playstation games isn't the most loserish thing I ever did. Once I did a comparative impersonation of an ink jet printer vs. a laser jet for Pippa and I was deadly serious. She hasn't let me forget it.

Oh and one more thing! This is from when Katharine met George Bush.



Katharine doesn't need a personality transplant.

xx Lektrogirl

Self proclaimed new media artist.

I have said it often enough, and so in lieu of anything more eventful happening today other than Nick phoning me at work to say that the SEO report he sent over no-one had responded to him yet, here are some examples of the work I do.



EROTIC [view online here]
YouTube Triptych with midi file. Original Video work of artist.
It didn't take much egging on to enter this into a Wimmins Film Festival recently that were looking at alternate ways of treating video. The account I created to host these videos on YouTube "brendanthecat" receives quite a lot of interest with people sending me notes on how they would like me to shoot the next lot of videos. I would say these guys have spent more time checking the videos than the film festival lot.

Erotic was the second piece like this I created, the first one uses found YouTube videos online. Unfortunately the javascript crashes most browsers so big up yourself if you are using OSX Firefox with blah blah shitsville. This next work is optimised for PC's running Windows XP Home Edition view in IE. [And even bigger and genuine up if it doesnt work cause you are running and iMac with OS9.2]



MY WORST NIGHTMARE [view online here]
YouTube Triptych with javascript.gif display. Found Video work.
This piece is inspired by Werners Head Shop on the Langstrasse in Zurich, kids that play with hacky sacks, and Spanish kids with dreads.

Some other less cool but more recognised internet / new media art projects I have worked on are:


MICROTEL a teletext television station which ran from an art gallery in Rotterdam during the film festival there. View here.

DA MYSPACE HUSTLERZ a project created for Michael Connor's exhibition My Friends Electric at Sonar last year. View here.

xx Lektrogirl