Saturday, 1 March 2008

SOME OF MY 7 INCH RECORDS

Back in 1999 I had just come out of the Women's Homeless Women's shelter on West End Lane [just a few doors up from DJ Venoms house actually.] The council moved me into my new council flat round on Balmore Street with a single mattress, a single duvet without cover and a kettle and that was it. The start of my beautiful new life. When the money that gets paid out to people who were in my situation, which at that time was about 1200 quid to fully decorate their apartment [cooker, fridge, saucepans, curtains, chairs, table etc] I chose to ignore all of that on my shopping list and go to MicroAnvika and get a Tangerine iMac for 999 pounds. I bought a table from IKEA and a chair. And then I took over my own website. Monsieur Raide had started on for me already but I wanted to make stuff myself. Everything I learnt about the Internet and computers was from a string of Internet boyfriends - I ICQ'd my way into the hearts of many nerds. And it really helped that I had a record out on Rephlex too.

During that time, I started collecting 7" records. I now have hundreds. It was great when I met Foul Play Fowler [that you might know as Nervous Stephen] because we used to go on 7" record shopping dates and then DJ together at The Dog Star on Sunday afternoons. God - I will never forget the number of crack heads that would come in and start freaking in the middle of everyone else having a Sunday lunch.

So below is some recycled content from my old website probably first online in about 2001. A shame that the Shorditch Whore joke is still exactly the same with the clothes and everything. And I have added a few YouTube videos to bring us up to date to Web2.0.




It is not often that a girl would find seven inches lasting three and a half minutes anywhere near satisfying - unless it is made with vinyl and comes with a picture cover



KOTO : Jabdah (1986) and Japanese war game (1983) Italian euro pop from the mid eighties. The cover art is credited to Al Porta. Both sleeves come with "dj information" - Jabdah is 117bpm for example. The tracks themselves echo the futuristic hi tech covers but don't be fooled into thinking that they show any kind of Kraftwerk electro type futurism. Jabdah for example sounds more like something you would find on an album of library music described as "modern, uplifting, punchy" but with a few vocals written by someone who barely understands English and spoken by someone that never heard English. Japanese War Game give a very vague nod to computer sounds that appear to be in some sort of conversation but I wouldn't like to push that notion too far.


RIGHEIRA: vamos a la playa (1983)
Italo - thin synths, not quite in time drums - inane lyrics This is one of the times you take a risk on the cover alone and are rewarded with a great treasure. The title translates as "Let's go to the beach" and from knowing that and looking at the cover you kind of get what Righeira are about. Their follow up single "No Tengo Dinero (We've got no money)" sounds almost identical but it doesn't matter, it is just an excuse to keep drinking sangria all summer. Drx from Bodenstandig 2000 promised me that their next album cover will look just like this but it will have Drx and Bern on the front dressed as soldiers from WWII
1Kr from the Record Palace in Stockholm


J.J. FAD: supersonic (1988) and way out (1988)
Girl rap produced by Dr Dre and Easy E - quite pop
Well the cover of the J.J. Fad album and these two 7" sleeves are all from the same photo shoot but the girls look great. They manage to slag off Salt and Pepa in one of their tracks. My favourite track they did though is "Blame it on the music" from their album that has a great little talking section between one of the girls and a guy about learning to dance "I don't believe it! I'm dancing!!"
Supersonic was £2.50. I paid US$8.50 for Way Out and it wasn't really worth it.


DAIMYO: electric dance (1984)
deluded Michael Jackson fan. The lyrics are "the Jackson Five should be the Jackson Six" with different Jackson hits in the mix. A poor substitute for the real thing, but now that Michael is entirely prosthetic maybe Daimyo has a place in the real world after all.
5Kr from some shop in Stockholm that smelt like pee.



THE FLIRTS: passion (1982) danger (1983)
Bobby "O" produced girl group
Now that The Flirt's look has been worked to death by every Shoreditch Whore and her best friend around Hoxton, Bobby Orlando's sound is also finally trendy - The Hacker even gives respect to him on the back of the album he has released with Miss Kittin. This version of Danger isn't the best - cause it doesn't have all the explosion sound effects in it. But the 12" doesn't have their version of "Love Reaction" that Divine also did for Bobby O. so i would say it is better to own both.
15DM for all 7 'hit' singles by The Flirts on ebay


BOBBY O: i'm so hot for you
Bobby Orlando singing and producing his own brand of synth pop. I have waited over 8 years to own a copy of this 7" after a friend gave me a cassette she nicked from Woolworths bargain bin. This is a Belgian version of the 7". The lyrics are banal and Bobby O thinks he sounds like Elvis. Great cow bells and synth but as for the girl on the cover - MINGER.
PET SHOP BOYS: west end girls
pet shop boys produced by Bobby O before they got the vocal delivery right. B-side is an amazing track "pet shop boys" that sounds like it was cut with scissors.
MY TWO MOST COVETED RECORDS - price DONT ASK



NEW EDITION: popcorn love (1983) and candy girl
boy band sound like they have been singing whilst sucking helium - produced by Maurice Starr and Arthur Baker The picture disc and poster sleeve for the two tracks are form the same photo shoot but there are a few important points to note. The major one is that Bobby Brown is the only one wearing squeaky clean 'sneaks' and has all the chains so maybe he was getting paid even from back then. The poster for Popcorn Love folds out with the same photo from the cover, but there it is easier to see the pubic hair that was printed onto all the artwork. I just wonder who's it is as New Edition on these records sound as though they are yet to hit puberty.
Popcorn Love was £1.50 and Candy Girl was £3


I wish the real song was on YouTube but watch this instead.

SIDNEY: let's break
let me hand over to my operations manager and dear dear friend Soby to explain this record
"about the jpeg..... it's really great and funny. the guy on the first is come directly from my children time i was a tv show called H.I.P H.O.P on the French TV with 80's tunes and first hip-hop tunes. i'm really a big fan of his show. and in this show. it's the first where i can see Madonna like a dancer. 1or 2 year before her first album."
Soby really made me laugh the day we walked around in the sun and ate nectarines in Brussels and he sang "papa don't preach"
this record was 25p but now it is worth a lot more....


And this is a second best as well. The Clean Clean video was rotten.

BUGGLES: video killed the radio star and clean clean
Clean Clean is one of my favourite 7" for not only the cover but the track is awesome. Trevor horn is a brilliant producer - even if they had crappy video's. and the b-side kid dynamo is better than the a-side video killed the radio star.
I paid more than I should have for clean clean and I cant remember how much the other was. I have a few copies of it cause I really like the cover and don't like that it gets so trashed


LOL - I bought this from Black or Dread and the man put the needle on the record for two seconds and whipped it off. "You want it or not?" I think he would have also shanked me if he wasn't so stoned. The record by the way is fucking terrible and I only bought it out of fear.
It is Babycham and Foxy Brown.

A selection of records [some with nudity] that I liked for some reason or other to be bothered enough to scan them:


And the only videos I could find for all that lot:

Colonel Abrahms then


Motley Crew now. LOL - Imagine this for a whole set!
HAHAHAHAHA I cried laughing.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 3 August 2007

LIKE WOAH!

Best morning of my life! I have the whole studio to myself to do my work, I am drinking plunger coffee, eating baguette and creme de saumon listening to my old Mac external hardrive full of MP3's of Jane's computer. R Kelly's SHOWDOWN over and over again. Ron Isley is totally sexual! [FYI R Kelly has had more in his career than In The Closet and weeing.]

Show Down
[ Verse 1 (R. Kelly) ]
I feel that the time is here
for you to bring your body here
And give me what I've waited for
Hurry up and come on in and close the door
I'm about to get up on it
Feed me girl cause I'm so hungry
Got plenty money but I'm still lonely
Gotta have you now cause me so---
Black and Asia girl,
Tattoo on your tongue
Thugged out and scared
But I'm uh make you love me
Say some aphrodisiacs
Baby girl its on
I promise you I will do all
these words to the song

[ Chorus ]
Showdown
(I'm about to lay your) body down
(Rodeo be like) up and down
(Bout to show you how I) roll down
Its about to be a

Showdown
(I'm about to lay your) body down
(My rodeo be like) up and down
(Bout to show you how I) roll down
Baby its about to be uh...

[ intermission ]

[ Verse 2 (R. Kelly) ]
I'll be making you my lady
S.E.- got me going crazy
Any-thing that you want me to do
I'll do anything cause I'm feeling you
All through the club girl you dance so freaky
Tall diamond pierced with a look that kinky
Ac-ting like you want me to turn you---
Attitude like what, Kelly turn me now
Black and Asia girl,
Tattoo on your tongue
Thugged out and scared
But I'm uh make you love me
Say some aphrodisiacs
Baby girl its on
I promise you I will do all
these words to the song

[ chorus x1 ]

[ intermission ]

[ Verse 3 (R. Kelly) ]
Now give me the mic so I can get buck buck
Like fiesta, fiesta still moving the crowd
Out of all the girls I've loved before
Got plenty of honeys--
Puff puff give now let me hit it once more
Fake ass niggas get out and close my door
Its my house for me to live not yours
If I wanted to I could- on the floors
Through the doors like a western
flick the club is crunk
Penny and Chris you know that boys tow up
About 8 or 9 black stallion riding up
Its Mr. Big screaming
[ Lyrics provided by www.mp3lyrics.org ]
showdown I'm like what...

[ Mr. Big ]
Now Kelly-
Its not enough room in this town
For you and me so lets get down
I'm sick and tired of you and
this down low fight
From contagious all the way to Mrs. Price
You done it now with Ms. Black Asia
I knew something was funny
when she stopped paging
House, cars, shopping mall
Man I tell you its a battle call
Like an Asian vull
I'm about to charge
Carry, you won't see tomorrow
Its time to put a end to
your late night creeps
Now any last words before my pistol speaks...

[ (R. Kelly) -spits- ]
Mr. Biggs-
Now no disrespect but man I'm tired
Cause all these years its my
back you've been riding
We've been in and out of
fights on these videos
Now its about time you felt the real rodeo
See I did it back in 98 of September
You took her from me yea
right you don't remember
I remember so clearly we were
coming from an opera
How clever you were when you
slipped her your number
(ooh) I know that makes ya'll wanna know
(ooh) Who's really on the down low
You wonder why we're always at it there it is
Sleeves up Mr. Biggs
Cause I'm about to get- wild, wild, west
Sick and tired of your mess
You put me to the test
And now I'm sticking out my chest
So any last words before I draw these cannons
Cause when the smoke clears I'll
be the last man standing

[ chorus x2 ]

In lieu of there being a video for R Kelly and Ron Isley on YouTube, you can watch one of my own home movies taken just the other day at my local pub:


Hoho- really it is Divine in Lust in the Dust. But I look just like that anyway.

xx Lektrogirl

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