Tuesday, 5 May 2009

INCOMPREHENSIBLE

James Chorley? Can this be true!!??

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Tuesday, 27 May 2008

TODAY SUCKED

For no particular reason, today sucked cause I had loads of errands and stuff to catch up on by have spent the day in a come down from the weekend. I feel like I've been wandering around in a daze all day. On the plus side, there are only a few days left to the weekend! Hopefully by then I will have cleaned the trailed by various house guests which started last week and my iTunes will like me again: I put on the shuffle play and the songs that played were all hating on my personal body energy and made me feel even weirder.

Nothing new to add to the coverage of the R Kelly court case of any consequence. However I just wanted to let you all know that it was not a case of mistaken identity on March 22nd when the Police arrested a woman who screamed "Free R. Kelly" at jurors in the R&B singer's child pornography trial as they stepped off an elevator near the courtroom.

Police immediately grabbed the woman who was later confirmed as Debra Triplet and led her away in handcuffs. The judge in the case later ordered the mother of three held on contempt charges in lieu of $50,000 bond.

I definitely wasn't me - I was at the George and Dragon listening to Pippa DJ as I reported earlier last week.



Caz will vouch for me.

Anyway - I have to go now cause I've still got some chores.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 22 May 2008

I'M A BEAST

One of my favourite R Kelly tracks is "I'm A Beast". But is he?



So following the R Kelly trial on the Chicago Tribune Video's I note with interest the advertisement linked with the video is from a bedding company with images of little children bouncing all over the mattresses. Please no.



Here is the incredible coverage of the most important show business story since God only knows when.



So some important information relevant to the case:

Apparently the man in the video who is allegedly R Kelly does NOT had a mole on his back which is clearly visible on the real R Kelly.

Also Backstreet Boys are playing in the background when the alleged sex acts took place. I mean durrr... Wouldn't R Kelly play R Kelly?!

Sad to note:

R Kelly is really a bad dresser. He isn't a P.I.M.P. at all in the courthouse. He should have gone to Savile Row.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 2 May 2008

THERAPY

I don't know if anyone has picked up on this at all but I LOVE R Kelly. It used to be that Showdown was my ultimate favourite track by R Kelly, but I've really got into some other tracks of his that I will share with you today. My advice is listen to them when you have a bad headache cause I find them really therapeutic.

I'm A Beast (Dirty)









I imagine Alex T also sings this song when he gets up in the morning.
Like Snoop Dogg did, it seems Kels has dabbled with the T-Pain style voice box vocals.

There is no denying that this is another one of R Kelly's epic tracks.

Real Talk (Dirty)









'I aint gave no-body no damn money, girl. Are you tweaking??!!'A brilliant slow jam that takes you on a great journey. Oh, the trials and tribulations of and R&B legend's love life. 'And the next time your ass get horny you can go fuck one of your funky assed friends. Hell, you probably doing that shit anyway!'

Real Talk (Dirty) Juke Remix









I LOVE R KELLY

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 30 April 2008

I CAN'T WAIT



Isn't Christmas fantastic?

xx Lektrogirl

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Saturday, 26 April 2008

UPDATE

Today is another day of remembrance. It was with great sadness I received the news from Philippa this morning that Jamal the blind cat has passed away. I shed a few tears from my feather down pillows in his memory. Yesterday it was just tears of pain from the Cava hangover.

In a Cava induced stupor:

P.S. Please don't hate me cause I'm such a babe.

Captain Morgan was a lot friendlier to my system last night which I drank in the company of Alex T, The Cardinal and Amph who Alex T and I called Bongo more than anything else last night. I'm still laughing about the man in the off licence on Brick Lane who gave directions to the nearest ATM as being 'Go down derre. Long way.' to Amph and I. The best joke EVER. Can I also say, Amph has the most amazing thighs? He tells me that his family are from Ghana which reminded me of Hugofreegow's flickr pics



And as Alex T and Amph spent most of the night wrestling while scantily dressed women played musical statues I wasn't too difficult for me to place Amph in some of those funny wrestlers undies.

OMG and now you have to work out what happened to who for yourselves:
There wasn't much else left to the imagination after XXCENSOREDXX got a stiffy after XXCENSOREDXX whispered in XXCENSOREDXX's ear "I can't wait to see your cock". I mean they are as homo as each other...

We all drank so much that we all started to look like this at the end of the night:



So I hope today that the sunshine will treat me well today as I need the Vitamin Sun beauty treatment to be babed out for tonight. I am DJing at my old friend Molly's birthday party from 10pm at the Alphabet Bar on Beak Street in Soho. I'm not allowed to play any 'black music' so it will be all italo, pop, disco etc. Which is a great shame as I have been showing a lot of face to R Kelly's Hairbraider track. A beautiful slow jam.

So in summary, this is my life right now:



xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 22 January 2008

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

As I go through the piles of random stuff I have stored away in all sorts of places [rent books from when I lived in the homeless persons unit paying 6 pounds per week rent, passport photos and flyers from parties I DJ's at around Europe for example] I have had some wonderful things to think about in my head from - and I'm sure it will suprise many of you - the incredibly spiritual DJ Venom.

Just now he hit me up with an email:

"Philippa's the brunette Cat Blanchett [sic]. Discuss?"

I could only reply that there was nothing to be said cause it is true.

Last night I was asked "Describe Prancehall."

The only response I could think of was "The best thing to happen to UK Grime in the last two years."

Jo Mitchell also phoned me so we were able to discuss in detail Denzel Washington in the movie Training Day. Her favourite part is at the beginning where Denzel flicks all the switches in his car for the hydraulics and Dr Dre comes on the sound system. I prefer towards the end where Denzel looses it a bit and cried out into the ghetto streets "King Kong's got nothing on me!!" [I wonder if he ad libbed that part?]It is interesting perhaps to note at this point that Rick Ross also refers to his crew as gorillas and there is also the INCREDIBLY SPIRITAL cry R. Kelly makes in his song "Snake" - LIKE TWO GORILLAS IN THE JUNGLE MAKING LOVE !! Totally sexual spiritual vibes.

Anyway this line of conversation referencing big strong men and gorillas leads me to another Denzel Washington movie which I caught the end of on TV last night. WOW! Unbelieveable. I can't be bothered to get up and find the Heat magazine with the name of the movie in it. But it was about College football in a time where racism towards a black coach was more overt than it is today [maybe]. There were some monkey "jokes" in it and Denzel even threw a banana. But basically good triumphs over evil though someone ends up in a wheelchair in this movie too.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 11 January 2008

YESTERDAY


With recent events in my life, it has taken me a while to get this thing online. I challenge everyone to nominate a better Facebook Grafitti Artist than Nicholas Abrahams. Here he has depicted a more realistic scene than that depicted on my birthday cake. Even though my mother's work came from actual photographs of R Kelly and I, somehow Abrahams seems to have captured something MORE. WHAT A GENIUS. I would prefer to think we were sucking car exhaust fumes though from a tailpipe than a bong. Cause I don't do drugs. Maybe something from a V8 engine machine - maybe like a Ford Cobra



or even this


check the number plate!

Just for your information - cars like this are all over still in Australia.

Yesterday was really a nice chilled out day - except for the part where I got really rained on. I went and met XXCENSOREDXX for coffee at Flat White. Oh the coffee was AMAZING. XXCENSOREDXX was quite jealous I new a number of the staff by name. Then off to snoop through Liberty and see what Spring Summer 2008 collections were in store.

Well!! Forget See by Chloe for this season unless you want to look like a 5 year. There were also a number of dresses that looked sneakily too much like other designers collections - one dress in fact was a total Marni knock off. Besides, you know that the whole collection will be ripped off in H&M and Top Shop by next week.

Marni knock off. I remember seeing the Marni one in a magazine which was grey with the grey painterly brush print thinking "Oh that would look great on a fat girl like me." I actually really liked the Marni one. Maybe I will make my own dress with a cut off t-shirt and some vintage fabric.

Pussy Pelmet. I can tell you know that this is going to be a big look for AW08 - so you better get some big knickers or your filet mignon's are going to be available to all and sundry. After Liberty I went to see Pippa at Maison B - I wish I had photographed the page out of the A.P.C. catalogue for SS08 cause there is a practically identical dress to this on a far more sour faced girl, except the dress was even shorter. The print was the same colour as well.

Having said that, there was a lot of REALLY NICE A.P.C. stuff in that look book and I'm waiting for my bag that I ordered when I was over in Paris with Max and Pippa in the A.P.C. studio. BRING IT ON!

So after half of an eclair with Pippa, I went up stairs to see the Noel Fielding painting exhibition. I really didnt like about 98% of it. What I do like is that Tania from Maison Bertaux has started curating these exhibitions in the the upstairs tea rooms. I think it is a really wonderful thing.

Anyway - sorry I'm rambling.

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 2 January 2008

FRIEND FOR LIFE


Jo M might joke over The Denzel and Wesley Snipes and his Private Party to which I'm cordially invited but R Kelly is always going to be my number one guy. He has a song for all seasons. I certainly have a friend in R Kelly.

So, I had a friend who was asked to test Posh Spices Vegan Diet for Closer Magazine. She has to have before and after pictures and you know what they told her? They said she had to come in for the before picture as fat as possible. Like to bulk up. So wrong. I never read those stupid diet things anyway.

And here I am back in London yesterday unpacking my bag.

Still exxxplosive. LOL.

Tonight I'm feeling a bit let explosive fucked up with jet lag but I have had some amazing chats with people online and catching up on all the gossip. Apparently a certain IDM Fanta Pants [I guess though you would call him Tango Pants here] has been bored at home posting shit on loads of peoples blogs and stirring up shit for everyone. I mean - what is going on here people?! Him and my personal hater - both cunts.

Oh speaking of four letter words and the like - the Restaurant Adviser on Facebook wouldnt let me use the word "cum". I was using it writing a sentence with an Australian accent... I had to spell it properly. I thought that was a bit cheap of them.


Here is the last picture from my Tasmania holiday before I got on the plane.

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 28 November 2007

R KELLY PLEASE RAIN ON ME



I know it is old, but it was so nice to walk into the office this morning and swap R Kelly verses with my assistant Jon. So to all the R Kelly freaks and freaks [YGM] out there let's all rejoice in the Make It Rain remix.

WHAT A NICE START TO THE DAY

And fuck the fat cunt in the "JOKES ON YOU!!!" slogan t-shirt. He needs to talk to Ruff Sqwad. My people had to have big talks with their people and those boys should be well versed into wassup these days.

AND CHECK THIS:


IT IS GONNA MAKE FOR AN AWESOME AFTERNOON

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 15 August 2007

BIGGEST PLAYA IN DA GAME



Okay - so this is "In Love With a Stripper" with a gang of people representing. I just need to remind you all of the supremecy of my main guy R Kelly. Ignore the others - cause the song is absolutely shit. EXCEPT R Kelly as per usual take the game to another level. He shoots, he scores, and blows the ball through the floor when he slams it down. BOOYAHH. Check the last two lines of his verse referring to 1] his "dong" and 2] his head. Oh yes.

Today I woke up pretty miserable - spent the whole night editing the Shop At Maison B / APC video on my laptop and the whole thing kept corrupting because the file is so massive - maybe my laptop just couldn't handle the hot babes. I also had a massive fight with Nameless who is totally being a Vortex Of Pain[TM]. Which also left me really really sad. But then I tried again with the video and got that to work and it is looking HOT! I'll post it when it is ready!

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 3 August 2007

LIKE WOAH!

Best morning of my life! I have the whole studio to myself to do my work, I am drinking plunger coffee, eating baguette and creme de saumon listening to my old Mac external hardrive full of MP3's of Jane's computer. R Kelly's SHOWDOWN over and over again. Ron Isley is totally sexual! [FYI R Kelly has had more in his career than In The Closet and weeing.]

Show Down
[ Verse 1 (R. Kelly) ]
I feel that the time is here
for you to bring your body here
And give me what I've waited for
Hurry up and come on in and close the door
I'm about to get up on it
Feed me girl cause I'm so hungry
Got plenty money but I'm still lonely
Gotta have you now cause me so---
Black and Asia girl,
Tattoo on your tongue
Thugged out and scared
But I'm uh make you love me
Say some aphrodisiacs
Baby girl its on
I promise you I will do all
these words to the song

[ Chorus ]
Showdown
(I'm about to lay your) body down
(Rodeo be like) up and down
(Bout to show you how I) roll down
Its about to be a

Showdown
(I'm about to lay your) body down
(My rodeo be like) up and down
(Bout to show you how I) roll down
Baby its about to be uh...

[ intermission ]

[ Verse 2 (R. Kelly) ]
I'll be making you my lady
S.E.- got me going crazy
Any-thing that you want me to do
I'll do anything cause I'm feeling you
All through the club girl you dance so freaky
Tall diamond pierced with a look that kinky
Ac-ting like you want me to turn you---
Attitude like what, Kelly turn me now
Black and Asia girl,
Tattoo on your tongue
Thugged out and scared
But I'm uh make you love me
Say some aphrodisiacs
Baby girl its on
I promise you I will do all
these words to the song

[ chorus x1 ]

[ intermission ]

[ Verse 3 (R. Kelly) ]
Now give me the mic so I can get buck buck
Like fiesta, fiesta still moving the crowd
Out of all the girls I've loved before
Got plenty of honeys--
Puff puff give now let me hit it once more
Fake ass niggas get out and close my door
Its my house for me to live not yours
If I wanted to I could- on the floors
Through the doors like a western
flick the club is crunk
Penny and Chris you know that boys tow up
About 8 or 9 black stallion riding up
Its Mr. Big screaming
[ Lyrics provided by www.mp3lyrics.org ]
showdown I'm like what...

[ Mr. Big ]
Now Kelly-
Its not enough room in this town
For you and me so lets get down
I'm sick and tired of you and
this down low fight
From contagious all the way to Mrs. Price
You done it now with Ms. Black Asia
I knew something was funny
when she stopped paging
House, cars, shopping mall
Man I tell you its a battle call
Like an Asian vull
I'm about to charge
Carry, you won't see tomorrow
Its time to put a end to
your late night creeps
Now any last words before my pistol speaks...

[ (R. Kelly) -spits- ]
Mr. Biggs-
Now no disrespect but man I'm tired
Cause all these years its my
back you've been riding
We've been in and out of
fights on these videos
Now its about time you felt the real rodeo
See I did it back in 98 of September
You took her from me yea
right you don't remember
I remember so clearly we were
coming from an opera
How clever you were when you
slipped her your number
(ooh) I know that makes ya'll wanna know
(ooh) Who's really on the down low
You wonder why we're always at it there it is
Sleeves up Mr. Biggs
Cause I'm about to get- wild, wild, west
Sick and tired of your mess
You put me to the test
And now I'm sticking out my chest
So any last words before I draw these cannons
Cause when the smoke clears I'll
be the last man standing

[ chorus x2 ]

In lieu of there being a video for R Kelly and Ron Isley on YouTube, you can watch one of my own home movies taken just the other day at my local pub:


Hoho- really it is Divine in Lust in the Dust. But I look just like that anyway.

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 25 July 2007

KENNY KINGSTON / DR DRE

Kenny Kingston's mix CD Extra Sensory Bass is in high rotation in our office so I wanted to write a post to tell you how amazing it is. But then I was at the Burleque Design website to give you all the right links etc but then I found this t-shirt:


BOOYAH!!


AND THESE STICKERS!!
And loads of other Dre Day sticker packs.


And of course this.

Check out all this cool shit for yourself at
Burlesque Design. You can even listen to the Kenny Kingston CD.

OR you can check
Kenny Kingstons Myspace Page.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 8 June 2007

Zoophilia



All the ladies! I wanna see you line up right here and wait for R Kelly call out "Like two gorillas in the jungle making love!!"

I swear your knicker elastic is gonna pop!

N tell me - does that jersey say "Hug A Thug"?

Now you gotta go home and you gotta get the hell outta here...

xx Lektrogirl

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