Tuesday, 28 August 2007


I went to work this morning and asked Hammed in the Café if I should still have a hang over 3 days later. He said yes, because I didn't have another drink yet. That was advice coming from a good Muslim.

Tonight I tried the Honey Soy HOW meal box [fully reccommended] and watch Toulouse at the time to lose [hoho] playing against Liverpool and saw Crouch [Liverpool's answer to David Beckham] not do the robot dance when he kicked a goal.

Oh God - this lot look they are are dressed for a night out a DO IT. Or that Welsh lot with the one called Maggot.
My sister LOVED Liverpool FC back at the time this song came out - it was when we were living in England at the time. I was following Manchester United, but now my team is Arsenal cause I don't wanna get shanked on the way home.

xx Lektrogirl

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Wednesday, 8 August 2007


Once upon a time, Paul and I used to spend time talking about music, art and holidays. Now it is a different story...

22:37:12: The girls ive imed are u, XXCENSOREDXX and lauren viera
22:37:24: WTF
22:37:26: HAHAHA
22:37:29: dick rash city
22:37:54: im sure she has a cunt like a grater
22:38:00: i feel sorry for XXCENSOREDXX

22:38:01: I used 3 condoms
22:38:18: It was to make my dick look bigger tho
22:38:24: yeah - you put one on but had to stuff it with another two to stop it from falling off
22:38:34: But i didnt catch anything!
22:38:38: yeah you did
22:38:44: you caught herpes from tounging her
22:39:06: the scabs round your mouth were so bad they went up your nose

22:39:19: No i got hepatitis from slashing up her face...blood spatter
22:39:29: i thought you hated her
22:39:35: what are you talking to her for

22:40:21: Googletalk dummy...anyone who ever emails is automatically added to yr googletalk friends
22:40:35: Nimbuzz does googletalk
22:40:45: well when did she
22:41:01: as i said = what are you takling to her for
22:41:06: you didnt answer the question


22:42:49: well - it kind of makes sense. she is short, scraggy hair and a bit cross eyed. she looks just like your type
22:43:00: and a total slut

22:43:07: She obviously wants 2 have sex with me, thats why she askeds me about it
22:43:11: i wonder if XXCENSOREDXX made her hallucinate
22:43:32: What so shed find me attractive?
22:43:42: yeh - im surprised you havent gone around telling me you think she is flirting with you already
22:43:47: cause she sent you some random email

22:44:27: I wouldnt do that
22:44:31: why?
22:45:47: If an email is random thats all it is, yeah? Yr suggesting i make something out of nothing for some other reason
22:46:13: ive been thinking - i should just be proud of the work i have done with you.
22:46:41: i mean - you came here smelling, with a sock on your arm, in weird american clothes your mother bought, and nasty hair.
22:46:53: now you look amazing. and you know about presenting yourself
22:46:58: no wonder girls like you
22:47:09: it is just a shame so far it is just those whorey runts
22:47:32: XXCENSOREDXX is a midget, not a runt
22:47:43: so was XXCENSOREDXX
22:47:54: and so was her stupid tape assed dog
22:49:01: Er.....so?
22:49:27: what is it with you and small girls? is it cause you have issues with your sexuality?
22:49:30: Whats wrong with a matching midget and midget dog?
22:50:05: you put your dick in one of them. only they were both so ugly you could never be sure which was which.
22:50:14: probably it was the dog that gave better head
22:50:21: with an asshole that was less hairy
22:50:38: Shit i forgot about that
22:50:47: Thx for reminding me
22:50:56: reminding you about what?
22:51:11: That bridgette had a hairy asshole
22:51:24: HAHAHAHAHAHA you never told me that
22:51:27: HAHAHAHAHA
22:51:28: HAHAHAHA
22:51:30: oh man
22:51:47: i guess you never knew if she was standing on her hands or her feet then cause she so ugly

22:51:48: Hahaha!
22:51:52: cause you cant smell.
22:52:02: her breath would have been the only giveaway
22:52:09: I can taste tho remember!

22:52:20: im sure her mouth tasted like shit too
22:52:52: i know how much you love to kiss ass though - particularly when you think you are going to get a show or exhibition out of it
22:53:24: Yeah but asshole tasted of lice medicine, that was the giveaway
22:53:39: what?
22:54:07: Her asshole, even
22:54:18: what?
22:54:50: I was making a joke that she had lice but only on her anus hair
22:55:04: oh - too obscure. i out joked you. a point to me

22:55:39: Sure have a point if that makes u feel better

Sadly that point did make me feel a whole lot better. I wish I could tell you who XXCENSOREDXX is but my life wouldn't be worth living if I did.

I did have a nicer conversation with Paul earlier when he was telling me all about Lynden in the HOUSE OF WINGS was talking about. He was saying that Lynden was complaining about all some West Indian coming in bitching cause he doesn't serve rice and peas. And getting all dark saying "Well what kind of restaurant is this?" And Lynden saying "Barbeque" And the peep saying "But you're from Trinidad. So where are the rice and peas?" And then Lynden was telling Paul "You'd never get a white person in here complaining." So Paul was acting like he was from the American South asking for rice and peas and Lynden was ROTFLOL.

For those of you who haven't seen it already here are the "sticky smokey bbq" + "it bunnin meh" 8 piece meal boxes, one with macaroni pie and bombay rice, the other with pie and slaw. 6 quid each.

Sad news on the grime scene today - you read it here first before this vital information ends up in VICE Magazine GRIMEWATCH - 2 top North London MC's went round to see Brains to talk music. Sadly, HOUSE OF WINGS had a burst water pipe and was closed for business. All went home hungry. Boohoo. There might be a shanking.

xx Lektrogirl

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Thursday, 19 July 2007


Today at the Katharine Hamnett HQ it was all systems go shooting all the new High Summer t's going on line on the webstore. I as running in and out all day and was able to get a few shots on my little snapper of what was going on:

Unbelieveable I know but Brains was a natural and amazing model.

Here is Katie who is the work placement who got roped into modelling too. She is wearing my favourite outfit of the day - a mushroom Katharine Hamnett t-shirt with the red dickie bow.

And here is little Joe chilling in one of the women's t-shirts.

Callum from the band Radar also was modelling and he was amazing. And Alex Sturrock was the photographer. I can't wait to get the pics and put them online on our webstore katharinehamnett.com But I tell you what - I'm absolutely pooped! I couldn't make it out for drinks after work.

Outside of work at Katharine Hamnett HQ the big news of the day is that Prancehall and ASBO D don't have a clue where to take DJ Assault for dinner this weekend when he comes to play for their gig at Corsica Studios. Everyone is saying Nando's but I am saying House Of Wings, 714 Holloway Road. The best chicken shop in London.

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 26 June 2007

SEXE - My French VICE

Here is something I wrote that was included in the first edition of French VICE Magazine.

Grâce à Brigitte Bardot, les Français ont eu le monopole du sexe pendant des millénaires. En réalité, ils ne font que parler de sexe et parler et parler et parler... Et pendant qu'ils jouent à la pauvre petite chose romantique avec une ame complexe et torturée, la meuf s'ennuie et se demande quand elle va enfin pouvoir se faire mettre. L'autre truc, c'est que les Francais adorent l'adultère. Ils font ça d'une façon tres typique qui comprend des crises des larmes, des cigarette roulées fumées à la chaine et des centaines d'expressos.
Les Anglais sont plutôt du genre, on parle trois secondes au pub, on baise rapide dans un voiture pourrie. Le mec dépose la grosse meuf en larmes dans le parking. Puis, elle va se taper le barman dans une ruelle entre deux poubelles et finit avec deux enfants à charge dont le beau-père est alcoolique. Les Allemands, eux, ont beau se sentir coupables à cause d'Hitler, ils n'arrêtent pas de baiser comme des lapins sans en faire toute une histoire. Alors, qu'avant même de t'embrasser les Français se sentent obligés de te raconter qu'ils sont encore traumatisés par le jour où leur mamam leur a mis une tape parce qu'ils avaient renversé de la grenadine sur le canapé du salon.

In other news:

DJ Magic and Brains had lunch the other day at House of Wings. Apparently Magic had 12 wings and woofed 'em down.

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 22 April 2007


The other day after work I went round to Brains studio and met up with him and Silverlink who was there. We sat around and bitched about XXCENSOREDXX who I was only too happy to tell Silverlink what a bunch of c***s they are. And the guys guffawed when I told them I had XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX on the back of the tour bus. Together Brains, Silverlink and I ate the best fried chicken in North London from HOUSE OF WINGS on Holloway Road over the road from where the palm reader used to be. Cause Brains lives so nearby, we get it home delivered - the dudes just bring it over once it is cooked. All the chicken is cooked from fresh and there are a gang of different sauces.

We decided that we should make HOUSE OF WINGS a website BUT would you believe it,
they already have one.

So there we were all chill feeling eating chicken, corn bread and macaroni pie when suddenly this happened:

Silverlink and Brains did something unusual. Woah. Wierd.

Later they went to see Planning To Rock and I went home cause I had to work with Pippa at Shop At Maison B. Paul turned up later and told Pippa that Alex Tea has an OLD picture of her performing in her band Posh on his Flickr. I had been avoiding telling her cause someone had said in the comments they had recently seen her getting off the tube at Waterloo declaring Pippa looked old now. Which is never nice to hear. But Pippa did say "Well I am over forty." So over coffee and cake we webstalked this girl who claimed Pippa looked old... Our conclusion: Pippa is no Dorian Gray and this girl is no oil painting either.

It is alway great hanging out with Pippa and working. We made some videos for her boutique Shop At Maison B which you can see
on her blog here. There are all the guys from Cuts modelling the mens Obey t's that are in stock and Pippa, Hannah and I are wearing a bunch of other stuff for women.

Joe and Duke came in for a visit too. They always end up licking me, squashing me, wrestling me or climbing me like I'm a tree. Which is the coolest fun. But the only way to get them to step off is to take pictures or make movies of them. Which they love more than ANYTHING!

xx Lektrogirl

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