Saturday, 19 December 2009


God, I have been cracking up to myself about this video and the party, with the baseball caps, divas, cats and disco lights. I can't possibly make the jokes I want to. But I laughed so hard I coughed up a slug of phlegm which landed on my sleeve. Gross.

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 21 July 2009


Bored, I checked out the H&M style guide and came up with this classic outfit. Oh God.

In other news, XXCENSOREDXX told me all about how he gave a blow job to a middle Eastern cab driver. All went well - BUT THE CAB DRIVER STILL CHARGED THE FARE!

Massive LOLS

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 21 December 2008


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Sunday, 1 June 2008


Here is the latest tip from Sara T that I want to post on the first day of summer here in the UK and dedicate to all the men in my life - I think there is a role in this video for all of you:

xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 19 May 2008


"What advice would you give to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton?"

"It's all about connection..."

xx Lektrogirl

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Sunday, 3 February 2008


The is a photo of me that has been banned from every surfacing on the Internet of me demonstrating to DJ Assault what exactly a 'showerface' is. This picture is completely inappropriate for illustrating this post. I did take a picture for it - but my big computer has a virus, so I can't be bothered uploading with the laptop which is also on it's last legs BUT I HAD MY FIRST SHOWER YESTERDAY. What a glorious moment it was. And indeed - SHOWERFACE.

Today I spent fucking around trying to remove the fucking virus off the big computer - I want to do my online shopping, check my bank balances etc - all kinds of serious password protected stuff. So I have been Googling tunstur.dll and Vundo like a fanny to work out how to get rid of it. Not as easy as one would think.

Halfway through the day I was forced to leave it to meet my friend Dal at Balans for a G-A-Y brunch and a Bellini where we coulnt believe our eyes at the bear who sat next to us in the Tron t-shirt and the gayers at the table on the other side having a typical gayer conversation. After than we went cruising for gays in Heals and Habitat, after having stopped off in Next Home stores forcing each other to select something on each shelf we would have to have if we were given gift vouchers. I was totally entranced by the number of varieties of "fragranced orbs" [smelly bits of stick] to put in a bowl on the side table there were. I'm not that kind of girl.

Sorry this isn't such an interesting post, it has been a really long week and I'm kind of emotionally exhausted. Not my problems, but someone else's. I hope they are okay.

xx Lektrogirl

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Monday, 7 January 2008


So, I now have a picture of XXCENSOREDXX and I keep it in my oyster card wallet. When you tap in, you don't even have to open the card wallet so it isn't as romantic as it sounds I guess. What is very romantic is that he has my birthday written in his Smythsons birthday book. I am guessing that XXCENSOREDXX is trying to seduce me for my Marni bag.

XXCENSOREDXX and I met tonight and had some incredible gossiping. I heard the most gruesome and fabulous story about two gay men. Gayer 1 went into the bathroom of Gayer 2 and started snooping through the cupboards [as you do. I hate it when you do that and the bathroom cabinet has a massive door bang that you aren't expecting or something] and found some jumbo tampons. Gayer 1 was really confused cause Gayer 2 was living alone and had no sister / friend that would have reason to leave jumbo tampons in his bathroom cabinet. At the time, XXCENSOREDXX and I were eating these layered cakes, the bottom layer seemed to have absorbed a rather large amount of liquid. It was quite strange and was rather unpleasant to eat. Even more so as this story progressed. So Gayer 1 didn't know what to do. He was curious about the tampons but didn't know how to ask without appearing as though he had been poking through all the cupboards in the bathroom. Finally Gayer 1's curiosity got the better of him and his asked Gayer 2 about it who was totally casual and replied "They are like for you know, after fisting I used them for absorbing all the slops."

I had to put my fork down.

After trying to get away with paying the wrong bill that was 5 pounds cheaper than the correct one, XXCENSOREDXX and I went for an evening stroll to Carnaby Street. I wish again I could make it out to be romantic, but it was just so that XXCENSOREDXX could use the free ATMs there. On the way you will never guess what we saw:

None other than London's number 1 urban blogger moonlighting in the Agent Provocateur window for some extra cash in a dishevilled Danielle Lloyd WAG wig and an ill fitting bra on the right cup. The pair of mannequins were standing in saw dust pretending to be at the circus. You could almost smell the piss from outside the window.

Finally, check out Pippa's latest video. I'm not really sure what it is for but my friend Alex looks amazing in it. [She is the one with the doll face and the bobbed hair]

xx Lektrogirl

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