ABBA GO YOU MUG

For the record, I don't even really like ABBA but I have just really got into them when they sing in other languages. Also, it is kind of fitting - a lot of the customers today have been Aussies too - Muriel's Wedding and all.



Commendations to the creator of this video who has spent some time with the Windows Movie Maker software using every transition possible. Perhaps they would use OneTrueMedia these days - the method of choice for modern pimps.

xx Lekrogirl

P.S. Gotta add



Watching this does give me spiritual homeland vibes chills up my spine. You can take the girl out of Australia but you can't take Australia out of the girl.

FOR THE OCKERS

I got this list in an email from my Mum, The Mutts, this morning:

You know you're Australian if.....

1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.

10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.

11. You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.

12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend 'a total ba$tard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a ba$tard'.

15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.

19. You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'.

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.

35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours’.

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

Now - here are the JOKES!!

I sent this list to Covvo and Cazza and neither of them knew what GIRT means [number 1].
So I refreshed their memories: "National Anthem Ladies!"
To which Cazza replied "I thought it was DIRT by sea!!"

MEGA LOLLAPALOOZA

The SHAME Cazza - THE SHAME!!!

xx Lektrogirl

OZ ROCK

Everything from Australia isn't jokes back from home.

Pseudo Echo - Listening


The Church - Under The Milky Way


xx Lektrogirl

OH and the delicious Caz Facey has reminded me of Aunty Jack

Fuck Me...

END OF THE ROAD

And I mean the Australian brand, COUNTRY ROAD!!

This video of Boyz II Men shopping probably isn't gonna be all that funny to anyone who doesn't have an accent like they star in the Sheila's Wheels commercial BUT I can't believe that BIIM are in Country Road going off the heezy at the gear available AND PICKING UP BLUNDSTONE BOOTS. Those boots are made round the corner from my mother's house in Hobart. The Blundstone Boot factory absolutely stinks of glue and leather but it isn't nearly so bad as the factory nearby that makes Weetbix [as we call them at home.] That smells like beery bready vomit.

xx Lektrogirl

ANZAC DAY

They shall grow not old,
As we that are left grow old,
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning
We will remember them. Lest we Forget

Anzac Biscuits

1 cup dessicated coconut
1 cup flour
1/2 cup butter
1 level teaspoon baking soda
2 cups rolled oats
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons golden syrup
2 tablespoons boiling water

Mix dry ingredients, melt butter & syrup together in small saucepan. Dissolve soda in boiling water, add to dry ingredients. Cook until golden brown on 180c

And my shame while writing this rather solemn post is that I have a Cava fuelled hangover courtesy of Liliana at the George and Dragon rendering me quite useless for anything other than rest and recuperation before the opening of Nervous Stephens exhibition tonight.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. The photo above is from one of my Flickr Contacts who you can check out here.

G'DAY G'DAY

I've just woken up. I have news to report on the furthering career of Wendy James from last night but my two crumpets with morello cherry and rose jam haven't quite sunk in and I think I need another Milo.



xx Lektrogirl

P.S. My DIY book for home wiring and lighting came in the post today. It is a big think hard back like a kids book! I can make like Sam Fox - "Nothings Gonna Stop Me Now"



Oh my GOD! She looks like Prancehall in drag!
ROTFLOL

DEAR SUMMER

Dear Summer

Yesterday I went into the Old Man Umbrella shop with friend to buy an umbrella. There was an exquisite selection of lady's brollies in the corner with chocolate brown fabrics and mauve tassles. But the air was crisp and the sun was shining and I didn't feel like I needed a new umbrella yesterday. I thought that soon Spring would bounce into my life and Summer would be on the doorstep.

But urgh. No. I didn't even need to open my eyes today to know that it was grey and miserable and raining. Winter - you are not very popular with me.

Apart from the smell of newsprint on the back seat of a car on a hot Summer's day in the 80's, the opression in the tube carriages in the 00's and inflated travel prices online there is not a lot I dislike about you Summer. I don't need to wear all my clothes at once, in fact I can wear very few. Tights good bye! Sunglasses hello! Mango, barbeque, smiles and lobster. Good looking men appear in Summer - all the dark woolly hats and grey scarves matching the "non beard beard" on their face dissapears. Finally we can see you.

Summer, please come soon. I know you are still working in Australia and a Summer there is far better than any Summer could be here in Britain, but there is something quaint and pretty about British people pinking themselves up in Soho parks. And I have a friend who could use some Summer in his life too. Please come soon.

Thanks you for taking the time to listen to me,

Your friend

xx Lektrogirl

CALL THE RSPCA

Sorry pets, I have been neglecting you for a number of days I know. Please call the RSPCA if you feel the neglect has been too much. :(

Yesterday was Australia Day!

I sent a text around to my friends to excite them into - I don't know - something. Covvo replied saying "Oh I forgot it was Australia day". The Witch said "I'm having a Milo right now!!" And the typical British Gent, Alex T responded with a picture text of a 'gang' of - who I can only assume to be - Australians [they looked equally British!] outside a pub, drinking. He attached the message "This is why I will not be celebrating Australia day today." At least he wasn't saying I turned him of Australians.

Let's celebrate some great Australians!

Phar Lap!


Errol Flynn

Just for the record, he is also Tasmania.

Acca Dacca

Check out Angus' license to sell hot dogs. [He's fly is low in a live show.]

Dame Edna Everage AND Jason Donovan


xx Lektrogirl

Early 90's Australian Pop

AUSTRALIAPHOBES LOOK AWAY NOW

I have had this band EUPHORIA on my mind for like ages now - but I couldn't remember the life of me. I thought I would be easier to trawl through the internet that have to call my sister and sing all the songs to her. We both used to dance around the house to this. And Drx will totally choke - this song even has a SAXAPHONE solo. I hate the saxaphone. I like REALLY hate it.


The ugly woman with the brown frizzy hair was the main vocalist but in the first #1 single Love You Right the blonde one lip synced all the way through. Which was bad cause it happened at the same time Milli Vanilla got caught out. I didn't give a shit about that - I liked the songs anyway.

Melissa - Read My Lips


Can you remember clubbing back in '91? Those two tone jeans were soooo cool. Down in Hobart we would hear all these stories about Three Faces and Chasers [two cool clubs in Melbourne] and I imagined everyone was dressed like that.
Anyway, this song was pretty hilarious as it was easy to sing along with your lyrics - but offensive. I mean instead of "Read my lips" it was "Suck my clit" etc etc. Melissa also had an incredible song called Sexy is the Word.

Collette - Ring My Bell



This wasn't my favourite one of hers - I preferred ummm... hang on Wikipedia... All I Wanna Do Is Dance but there is only one video of it on YouTube.


OH MY GOD! FUCKING HILARIOUS!

Not only is this an awesome rendition of So Excited by Dannii Minogue when she was still in Young Talent Time but also some of her fashion designs on show! Dannii actually designed a range of clothing for K-mart as I recall.

So folks, these are the hot Australian fashions in 1987.

AND OHHHHHH SHIT
Speaking of hot fashions from 1987, here is the video PaperRad and Paul made in Ireland. Jacob is coming to stay on the 20th and I'm so Excited. Just like Dannii Minogue! I need some Vapoorize! [Did you see that on TV last night?]



xx Lektrogirl