Sunday, 10 January 2010


And don't give a fuck what anyone says.

Possibly my top YouTube video for Jan 10.

xx Lektrogirl

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Friday, 5 October 2007


I just got back from Paul Gorman's night, The Look down in South London. Pippa's band All About Eve Babitz played again and Superduck and I got the chance to video tape two songs on two cameras at once and hopefully I will be able to edit it together to make a little video for them.

Here is a picture of the only cunt I want to know about right now. [See pussy smelling face story below for reference.] Anyway I was quite thrilled in a pathetic way to be shooting video with Nick cause he has made a documentary about Depeche Mode, proper pop videos as well as being close personal friends with Jeremy Deller. Which if you ever read the Shop At Maison B blog you would know I have already made a prick of myself in front of him.
Important to note - here is Nick freestyling his first "showerface" on his own. A LOT. Please send me your review on my first pupil's "showerface" performance. I was actually trying to explain this to DJ Assault at the time but Nick really got a firm grasp of the "showerface" concept.

When I was in Milan I was so miserable. Here is my eye. I went and catalogued all the people in the SLOWHITE section who were on the stands there this way. I looked the tiredest. But I think it was all the secret crying I was doing.

Katharine on the other hand was coping with Milan this way.

I'm thinking of starting a new business in my lunch break. For one pound people can visit the Katharine Hamnett archive for one hour and be truly amazed at all the crazy shit we have out in the back room. I swear to got - Cassette Playa and Silverlink would LOVE it! I always think of Carrie when I see the paisley jeans for some reason. They are pretty fly jeans.

Anyway here I am a bit tired and sad. But tomorrow is another day, which just happens to be FRIDAY!! Woo-Hoo!! One more day til Saturday and that means I can go and meet Cory and get a guided tour of his new exhibition opening at Max Wigram Gallery on New Bond Street. This show is going to be really awesome. I relaly looking forward to seeing Cory again and what new direction he is moving in.

Okay - I'm too tired now.

xx Lektrogirl

OMG!! I forgot to say XXCENSOREDXX has been telling me how horney he has been lately and how he can't stop having sex and he was thinking that by 40 this would have stopped but it totally hasn't. Which was a bit weird cause like I don't know XXCENSOREDXX THAT well. So I told him all about the time I discovered that XXCENSOREDXX had been sending emails to men off gay sex sites [advertising himself as 9" un-cut who likes nipple work and leather] and reading all the replies from different guys - some even including pictures of themselves with giant dildos up their bums [do men's call them dildos too or is there a gay word?] or sitting astrid a horse in the nude except for leather chaps and a waistcoat.

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Tuesday, 26 June 2007


What an awesome concept for a TV show! I could watch it for hours. The best parts are when the tank has finally filled with water and in the studio they take long shots of the tank. The womans body distorts and she sometimes has massive thighs or Oompa Loompa butt or something. Really cool!

Oh and for all the peeps who read the thing I wrote about Female Ejaculation, here a cool video I found that made me laugh. It is a commercial from Australia.

The following video of a female gyno vaginal exam made me want to puke. Tho's its still easier than shaving a face everyday I think and getting stiffies at innappropriate times [or not at appropriate times]

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Tuesday, 19 June 2007


Poison - Nothin' But Good Time

So to put us all in the mood for something sexual, here is Poison with one of their hi-amped-NRG rock hits - although the part where Ian Astbury from The Cult rolls around on the floor on the video for Fire Woman does it for me but I think that is more a personal thing...

So - Poison put you in the mood?

Women ejaculate, too. It is just that there is no girl I know that gives a fuck. Guys on the other hand love spunk all over the place and they don’t care where it lands. Some guy’s will even ask if you can feel them spurt on your cervix cause their load is shooting out so hard. The answer to that, for the record, is no.

Some guy’s deepest regret is that they never saw the girl they were banging 'squirt' – they felt a wet spot but missed the show. One particular guy I knew would eulogise his ex-girlfriend like this: She had two great talents – one was that she could play the entire hits of 2Unlimited on the piano and the other was that he got her to squirt a bit once. Clearly to guy, finding a squirter up their with being able to suck your own cock – pretty fucking awesome. It is convenient to speculate that an ugly girl who squirts has a higher fuckability factor that a pretty one who doesn’t. So what is it they are expecting to see? A face full like Samantha got in Sex in the City? Would a guy rub it on his nipples and lick his lips given the chance?

The science of the situation is without the big words that sound like names for a venereal disease, girls pee hole tube runs through vagina tissue that gets sensitised through sexual arousal. In between the tube and the vagina are the Gräfenberg glands [aka G-spot] and joining the pee tube and the pee hole opening is what some guy called Skene's glands. With orgasm, tests have shown that these glands release on average about a teaspoon of a slightly milky alkaline fluid. Sometimes the fluid runs back up the pee tube towards the bladder, sometimes it seeps out the pee hole and very occasionally it can squirt out. Occasionally it mixes with pee or there is more of a build up of this liquid and it can squirt out more than a teaspoonful. It is most likely that in porn movies people who look like they squirting with loads of clear liquid gushing out all over the satin sheets thrown over some sofa are faking it by peeing instead. But who is to say that if a girl pisses when she comes and it feels good is doing a bad thing? I remember once standing in the bath with my little sister and I got all excited and ended up pissing in her eye. I felt great about that actually – was it my first ejaculation? Some people go so far as to believe that if a girl pees during orgasm, that IS female ejaculation. Check but beware the occasional stomach churning feminism.

For the majority of the female population, it seems that there are various methods that claim to turn a non-squirter into your regular Super Soaker: all of which look like they take a lot of time, practice and laying down clean sheets in case you piss the bed practicing. The results though aren’t for girls. It is a show and tell for the guys – cause they don’t know half the time when a girl is even faking or not.

Next time you have the chance, ask girls you know about squirting [and I asked a Canadian exotic dancer specialising in pole work and just won a position to compete in the sex show olympics, her lesbian girlfriend, my boss who was a Playboy nudie model, an art director at an image library, a make-up artist and the girl who sings opera for Venetian Snares] and I guarantee the first thing she would say is “Eurgh as if sex isn’t messy enough as it is.” The exception to that rule is if you ask the members of – they will add that they can squirt to their profile to make themselves sound more interesting – but it is the same way the female contestants on Big Brother all say that they are bi-sexual.

Why is squirting so important? Male ego? Maybe it even has some similarities to a particular bird’s mating ritual, which I viewed with a mixture of intrigue and feeling grossed out on some nature show. Big Bird turns Lady Bird on by pecking her in the vagina with his beak until she squirts out all the old come left behind by other birds who have given her one earlier that day. Then the bird gets his little pencil dick out [it’s so thin I was shocked to see it didn’t snap – he must have been packing major wood] to give her one of the fastest fucks from behind in the animal kingdom. But regardless of the golden showers, the final cumshot of this is: All girls release a little bit of fluid at least internally, some girls ooze, very few squirt and if you have given a girl head, you most likely already swallowed.

xx Lektrogirl


Thursday, 14 June 2007

Work Dinner & Drunk

Home after wine and food with Nick, Frank and Konan [sp] with Roxy and Kellie with a G. Just send a gang of links to Nickie that probably he wont wanna see with a red wine hang over first thing but while I was doing this I remembered this page which is one of many pages I have made for my neice and nephews of themselves on the internet. I particularly like this one with the use of the lake.class applet. It's Hot.

And I LOVE this gif:

xx Lektrogirl

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Tuesday, 12 June 2007

Need something to do?

Poing - Rotterdam Termination Source

Real gabba

The Melbourne Shuffle

Some useful dance moves. They have competitions for being able to dance like this well. And apparently, bagggggggy trousers [i.e. raver trousers] are encouraged cause when you get the moves right, and the trousers cover the feet, it can make the dancer look like they are floating over the stage. Not very sexual though. Probably more spiritual. Definitely a lot of lasers etc needed. And a smoke machinge.

I think the combination of these YouTube videos would make for a fun afternoon.

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Sunday, 10 June 2007


BASTO - Rock With You

I don't remembner wtf we were when we saw this but Brains was totally engrossed in this video every time it came on. And then when we got back to London we were trying to YouTube it and couldn't remember the dudes name and couldn't be bothered flicking through a gang of Michael Jackson Rock With You clips to find it.

Please also note these two incredible videos:

2 Brothers On The 4th Floor - Living In Cyberspace

AB Logic - HitMan

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Saturday, 2 June 2007

The Best and Wurst

BLUMCHEN: Boomerang

This is how all German girls were in 1996

MODO: Eins Zwei Polizei

I started to learn German with this killer track

NICK BEAT: Technodisco

DAISY DEE: Open Sesame

She was a TV presenter on Club Rotation - the best show on Viva2. And married to the head of some record label in Germany. "Check it out Chicky Babes"!!

SCOOTER: Maria [I Like It Loud]

Also featuring Dick Rules.


I'd forgotten about the awesome intro to this track.

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Monday, 14 May 2007

Baddest Nigga 4 Ever

OMG check out these awesome AWESOME pictures from Hugofreegow's Flickr. Totally HOT!

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Really my worst nightmare!


Last night I had a real nightmare! ASBO D was smooching with me in my old room at my mothers house. But they way he was kissing was horrible - he just was pressing his lips over my mouth and not moving and I couldn't breath. Then he was trying to feel up my tits in front of my mother. Fortunately I realised I was just dreaming when in the dream I had something in my hand that didn't feel at all kosher - if you get my meaning - so I knew I didn't have to be embarressed in front of my Mum. But please I don't think I can handle another dream like that. It really freaked* me out.

xx Lektrogirl

* I don't mean "freaky" with a Rick James / any Dance Mania kind of interpretation. I really mean it like The Blair Witch Project.

Just to cheer myself up. But OMG - I never saw this video before. I don't think there is a lot freaky about a chinese girl flicking her witches hair around like a horses tail.


Let's get Rick James in this room, totally wacked out on whatever, singing with these freaks. Also note - what an awesome mix on the New Dance Show in this clip!! Booyah!!

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Tuesday, 17 April 2007


So going back to dinner at Philippa's, we were talking about Extreme Animals that she is hoping to have come perform as part of the their tour I think in Summer. AWESOME. I can't wait to see Jacob again. There are just some things that Jacob understands so I'm really looking forward to acting a retard with him. And the Extreme Animals shows are going to be SUPER HYPE SHOWERFACE VIBES BRAAAAP. I was with them in Holland at WORM and I loved it. I met that dude e*rock though and we had a big fight over a Felix Kubin record... Anyway that is another story.

Cool Paperrad video I didn't see on YouTube before.

Brains just came in and told me about our home delivery dinner that I was waiting for him to bring in "Now if that's cold then my name is Ricky Ponting." He is more Australian than me sometimes.

xx Lektrogirl

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