EDIROL V4 VIDEO VJ MIXER FOR SALE £550

PERFECT CONDITION!!

On sale on eBay now.

WHEN IS THERE A DRY SPELL?

I walked back from dinner and he said "Some people are just destined to spend their lives single." I was laughing and crying with snot and tears down my face I begged him to stop and he said that it was just how it is sometimes. I couldn't even walk any more and cried and said "This year has been so so horrible. Please stop. I can't bare it." And kept laughing too. Someone else said I was emotionally incontinent.



My mother called and told me she had read my blog the other day. Before she went on I had to hold the phone away from my ear and shout "No no no please don't tell me you've read it. You can read it if you want but I don't want to hear what you have to say about it." Which turned into a big conversation about how on evening at the dinner table she sat their with my sister quoting sections of my diary they found back to me with great hysterics between the two. I was so ashamed. I wanted to die. So it must come as no great surprise then that after that my boundaries on public and private are totally fucked.



I heard some great gossip stories this weekend. I was really laughing hard. I also found some BRILLIANT material for the Sex Attack video.

HEARTBEAT

, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

SWALLOWED A STONE

So Sarah and Grissom are no longer together, their relationship withered as he couldn't make up his mind. Now Grissom is in Lady Heather's upstairs bedroom asking her to stay. As painful as they are, stories of breaking hearts, lust and longing and dreams that never come true are so attractive to me. And I guess why I end up in the world of lost loves with a pair of kiddies knickers on my dining room table and my heart feels like I swallowed a stone.



That is why I am so in love with some of the pictures I collect for lameatnames.com which I am relieved to say is now back online.



Tomorrow I will continue on my picture framing mission. I have pictures of cancers and illustrations of eruptive fevers from antique books, gems and flowers, naked ladies and drive in porn movie posters. I am looking forward to the next lot of London guests who may come my way. I will also put together a proposal for a video that I would like to make for Appareil for their song "Sex Attack" [which I have blogged about before].

Also in other news: Drx, Role Model and I have all swapped Wii numbers. We can swap Mii's... I only have two Mii's at the moment, me and my boyfriend who is a black guy called Wasteman. I made him tall and skinny like Snoop Dogg.

And this from harriet_the_spy is worth a note.


Trying To Start A Meme

What's the oldest item of clothing you own? I've had this PJ top since I was nine or ten and watched my breasts develop under its thin cotton M&S comfort: 'Take It Easy' you sheep.

I will get around to doing this one day only I feel disadvantaged cause my really old stuff is at home in Australia and probably in Mum's polishing rag basket by now. I'm sure to have some old NIKE tops from when I was in my Sporty Spice phase though if I dig deep enough. To elucidate on the Sporty Spice phase: It was actually when I was going to Rephlex Raves "back in the day" wearing things like neon pink Speedo swimming costume with a massive zipper down the back, combat trousers, a red Helmut Lang tulle vest and giant Nike trainers back in 1996. And made up like a cosmetic counter exploded in my face.

xx Lektrogirl

MINE

There are some things that I just can't tell because they are all mine things and I don't want to share them with you. But take Bryan Adams instead. It's a banger.

I'm stupidly tired and I can want to sleep and be alone with my dreams.

Tomorrow, I will worry about lameatnames.com - I have been approached by many different people - even a company who wants to assist because they think I can help them with amateur porn on the iPhone. Yeah big business.

I have two friends with a crisis each and I must assist them - one can't cook and the other one can't fuck someone cause she love him too much [a generalisation].

xx Lektrogirl

STORY OF MY LIFE

I don't know how fucking depressing it is to have to realise that something someone promised you they would do FOR TWO YEARS is never going to materialise and you have to do it yourself, even though you knew all along they were never going to do it and you would have to end up doing it yourself like every fucking thing you ever had to do the whole time you were with them.

H.M.L. TOTES!

xx Lektrogirl

FUCKING HELL!!! WHY IS IT WHEN I THINK LIFE IS TOTALLY LOST AND OVER I FIND SOMETHING ON YOUTUBE THAT MAKES ME THANK THE LORD FOR AMATEUR VIDEO PRODUCTIONS WITH AN EYE ON PROFESSIONALISM?!!



Oh I take back what I said about H.M.L.

NOT ONLINE A LOT

As I keep saying I haven't been online a lot lately. I have been feeling so shit you really cannot believe. It is my old friend "Lost At Sea Feeling" back again. If you have these times too, then you will understand. Hopefully you do, cause that will mean you are normal. But yeah, I have even thought about killing this blog. I started off not giving a fuck about what I wrote on here and telling great gossips and having a laugh. But has timed has moved on, I have found myself biting my tongue more often and thinking "Fuck should I say that?" and deleting half a paragraph. And that isn't why I started this blog in the first place. It was never meant to be a music blog, or a look at my H&M outfit blog, or anything, it was just supposed to be my place to sit down and chat away. Rather than have 4 AIM windows open and FB all running at the same time. What I find disturbing is why do I suddenly give a fuck even?



My relationship with my longest love is going through a rocky time. The relationship feels pretty empty and soulless at the moment? Maybe it is the weather? Maybe it wasn't meant to go on forever? Like the old man at Ed's bar in Chicago [when he was propositioning me to go back to his house and strip so he could look and not touch] said to Paul and I "You too are good for now. Not forever. Just for now." I am even looking at jobs back in Australia because I am tired of life with my longest love. City of London - I don't love you like I used to. But then - maybe it is the people I know and don't want to know any more that are making me feel less inclined to venture out doors and walk your streets in my big black boots.



God - fuck it - I feel like I am living someone else's life if I can't talk about my own here.

It is so weakening getting finger fucked by a guy who "doesn't want a girlfriend" and the only dicking I got is when they dicked me round. XXCENSOREDXX. What a waste of fucking time. It was in essence, my first lesbian relationship. LOLZ.

In other news: another friend told me once that they never wanted to work with someone on particular types of projects and that she wanted it to be 'our thing' - I guess she was having a hating on her particular day. Because now time has passed and indeed the two of them are working on something. I'm genuinely happy for my friend. It has put my nose out of joint tho.
So maybe it is my turn to be the possessive lesbian and I should go round finger fucking women like I was the aforementioned man? HA.
Actually I think it might have more to do with my absolute horror about getting forgotten about which stems from childhood favouritism, my parents not coming to a school party, my father missing my swimming tests, bullied at school etc etc. [a moment to cry folks and could have possibly deleted the whole paragraph] And something I definitely will not talk about here. Unless I'm totally drunk and wearing heels.



And speaking of being a lesbian - Max was apparently having a conversation with XXCENSOREDXX about how much I love cock. It is always a bit uncertain with Max when he has a glass of Rosé in his hand as to whether it is Tourette's at that moment, or he had it while talking to XXCENSOREDXX, or was serious then or laughing now. Either way I found it funny. He teases me constantly about XXCENSOREDXX and how I should get with him. Personally Pippa and I think it is because Max's wants to vicariously have sex with XXCENSOREDXX himself. The thing about loving cock - Mum if you are reading this - that is what MAX said not me.

And for the first time ever, I will reveal a XXCENSOREDXX by way of a photographic clue:



He is one of the men in this picture. And I am certain that he must find me so attractive sitting here in hot pink polka dot flannel pyjama bottoms, a Silas red t-shirt, and orange Ralph Lauren sweatshirt I cut into a cardigan, powder blue Falke socks and red Chanel flip flips eating banana muffins I cooked for dinner cause I had nothing else in the house whining about my life. So seriously Max's match making would be worse for him than me.

Yeah I should go to bed. But before I do:



This is the part of myself I absolutely hate hate hate the most. Compared to everything - all parts of me inside and out. This is it. We can all see that I would make an excellent Christmas ham and where the surgeons knife should go or straw or whatever he would do to get rid of the grossness on the inner AND outer thighs.

Hello friend. We are back together again like we should be and I have no secrets from you.

xx Lektrogirl

1 GIRL 1 CUP

1girl, 1cup, originally uploaded by nirE cigaM.

Today I am totally heavy hearted. I mean - he's below your league you need a man 'you're a prick you were wrong' stand up for yourself and don't let yourself be part of the negative problem 'you're being an idiot' so amazing 'not impressed' you can make each other happy 'he won't make you happy' i love you 'you aren't attractive any more'.

Everyone - I can't keep up with you - you are driving me crazy! Which way is fucking up?

The answer to that is neither way. Because ultimately, I'm a nihilist.

xx Lektrogirl

DROP THAT ASS

Hydraulic Style - DJ Nasty

Listen to the counter melody? Or does it count as a melody? Or just a synth line? It's so beautiful! And while you are dropping that ass to the ground - which is something people can do with all ass sizes - we don't have to be all bootylicious about this - why not check to see who got kicked to the curb lately? It might just surprise you!



I actually untagged this picture of myself on Facebook. I don't know why I bothered cause I have a totally private profile. I regret untagging it now. Because you know me - Mrs. No Secrets. The last time I was in the Glasshouse was years ago with Nick Phillips / Noodles drinking Ayingerbrau [a.k.a. The Angry Brew] Rail slide down a tube station bench on my shoulder [how I did that I will never know] and throwing up all night bright orange vomit until Noodle's flatmates thought I was gonna lose a liver. Speaking of Noodles, I saw ANDREW HARTWELL of all people at PIZZA the other night. AND BDL walked past while our whole table got a glacial vibe shower from his girlfriend. AND FOUL PLAY FOWLER. The shame. That hadn't happened to me since about 1999 when Karl Hutchinson, Chris Chang Towers, Dan Moss and someone else - probably Smiler all rolled into The Bricklayers Arms AND SAT AT THE SAME TABLE. I was there with The Witch at the time choking on my pint. See how much I have changed? I would down pints back then with a full face of make-up with a severe bob and Prada shoes.

I'm off to have more of a living room disco chill out and max out those dance vibes. So much fun.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #16 or so

It's a dog's life...




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 24 August 2008 04:57
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: Your unhappy news.


What a nuisance, for want of a better word. What stupid events has she perptrated to get herself in the dido? Nothing you can do to turn her around? XXCENSOREDXX If you were here in Tas then I could sign over my half of the house, then you could use it as security on a bank loan to create a busines here? Fark knows. Then again you aren't in a very receptive frame of mind after such bad news.
Keep pecking kid. it ain't the last job in the world.
Makes me think of Melbourne many years ago. Down to me last 8 bob. Bought a paper and applied to be Salesman for Dalgety's. Luck would have the Manager, Arthur Pattinson, ask me if I followed the footy. I answered , yes. Carlton. Arthur glowed and sai,"Good I'm a Drector for Carlton. Stood me in good stead for the next 12 years. as you know, or may remember?
Think lucky girl. There's always a bit of luck around the corner. Like you always say,"what goes around comes around." Mine is" Think lucky. You'll be lucky!" Though the golden eagle doesn't shit too often 0ut of the Lotteries. Strike me lucky. I only want a million to get us started'
See yer kiddo. Chun up and tell t.t.f.themselves.paXXXX

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If anyone else was having a bummed out moment, please feel free to take some of my Dad's advice for yourselves. There is plenty of The G.A.'s vibes to go around.



xx Lektrogirl

FFS

Appointment at work this morning that I got up at 7am for cancelled.

Just to let the universe know though, I was in the office at 8.55am - and this will NEVER happen again.

HOUSEWORK

At my new job I have been TCB - [learnt this from Bok Bok via Manara - Take Care of Business.] Basically, getting stuck into some long overdue paperwork house keeping so that I can get cracking with my job properly. So sorting, filing, researching, asking questions, updating computers etc etc. The people I work with are super nice and couldn't be more helpful - but for those of you who read my blog who have ever had a job [so that would be 90% the girls, 30% of guys who have had 'real jobs' 30% of guys who have kind of had 'pretend jobs' that were just like DJing for cash or something but it still counts - the left over girls and 40% men you won't get this] - you will understand that a new job is always A LOT; Working out if you wore the right thing, who will be your allies, how everyone has their tea, how long you can talk on the phone without looking like a slacker, can you install Miranda/Trillion etc... S.T.R.E.S.S. And of course, overcoming my Internet addiction and having to drink cows milk for the time being out of an ugly cup. [How long can I leave it before I can bring in my own china teacup for plunger coffee without everyone thinking I'm a tosser but thinking I'm cool and quirky? YGM?]

So the following song, Let There Be House, is dedicate to me and my new job.



This song also holds some very deep connections to my life back in Tasmania. When this record first came out, I bought the 12" and went totally nuts listening to it over and over and dancing all the stresses of my life out in the hallway on Mum's new carpet. I was in year 11 or 12 - so 16 or 17. I was the bane of Mum's life - because the carpet was so new and woolly, one dance session would kick up all the new fluff of the wool - virtually tumble weave - that she would go round clucking and picking up spluttering at me "Stop It!! You are kicking up all the carpet!! You will dance a hole in the carpet!!"

Listening to this song again now is a really great de-stress session for me. On top of the new job and the heartbreak over the Chanel lipstick really not being up to scratch, I had a fucking shit start to the week over really weird weird stuff that has also been on my mind. I just feel so much is in the bin right now - more like hard knocks from other people's misplaced weirdness - and like my astrology said today - 'just let it be like water off a duck's back' which is true, but when I'm super stressed/tired about a new job its hard. I went out to dinner with Max tonight and he asked me about all my woes [I cried in China Town - AGAIN! - FFS!! I really must be hitting menopause!!] and it was so nice to be sitting with one of my oldest bestest craziest friend 'chewing the fat'.

Something to look forward too though! I am going to Nantes to see Puyo Puyo and Eva on the 18th October for a gig there. WOOHOO. I don't know who else is playing but I am sure it will be excellent. I haven't seen them since I met them in Liege - the same night I met Lu and Bernd from Mash Gordon. FUCK ME!! THAT WAS A PARTY!! Yerrr...

HEAVY

My arms and legs are heavy. I am not sleeping and following the whole story of my dreams has stopped. I only remember tiny details of them remain when I wake - like a freckle on a shoulder or the tail end of a sentence.

And I get spam like this:

-----Original Message-----
From: Blossom Mcfarland [mailto:recombiningmz9@oelinger.com]
Sent: 07 August 2008 15:07
To: emma@XXCENSOREDXX.com
Subject: [SPAM]Re:

It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. http://alvs.prosperityanger.com

-----

In Kinshasa I imagine it is very hot and humid depending on the time of year.

xx Lektrogirl

GIVE AND TAKE AWAY

I woke up this morning - finally - to receive the following in my Flickr mail. It has lest me feeling totally heartbroken. How can this be? A random message from a complete stranger.

--------

06/08/08

Dear L

I’m writing to apologise for my borderline obsessive compulsive accessing of your blog.

You must admit, images of good food and vicariously experiencing jolly japes in dirty London town are quite seductive, addictive and an acceptable displacement activity. London hasn’t looked so good since irritant released the I-sound 7” back in the day.

However, you do have a point and I feel that I may not be able to adequately explain to my senior management team that it is appropriate for me to look at post-modern images of plates of food and nightclub toilets.

In addition, it may not be the most effective use of my time at work.

Therefore, I guess it’s time for me to clean up my desktop.

Goodbye Diana Scheuemann!, farewell Russian tramp racing,! Bless! Bless! Lektrogirl…

a new life for me.

kind regards, A.

p.s. I don’t think that is my IP address, so please don’t send any horse’s heads to my co-workers!

--------

Without dwelling on this too much, I will drag myself to the Worker's Cafe on Holloway Road for an omelette and coleslaw and then purchase the necessary dowelling to construct the makeshift stand for my new chromakey green roll. Mr Chips and I have a plan. The G.A. sent me another email this morning but only some sections are relevant if you didn't read the mail I sent him. And there is also some personal information regarding my latest interests in men which I don't feel like revealing. Pop's and I chat about all shit. But here are some edited highlights:

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 06 August 2008 07:03
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: sittin on me bum, bored to death on wed 7th August 2008. Needless to add, unusually quite elated.!


howdy shags, I already sent you a text about good news, Y.s. F.s No,I don't give you the credit for an adult aged 16 years, Sometimes I think you must be about six! As you often print HA.HA. yOU WANKER. XXCENSOREDXX? Your comment about teaching young folk about dealing with the future is very relavent.(how'd ya spell 'relevent?) Mind you even at my age it'soften hard to unravel the poxy governmental policies relating to any F.Thing.But then I always was a bit thick.
XXCENSOREDXX? Good show, mate.
I'm not exactly worried about you gettinng yourself up the duff. ai JUST WORRY THAT WE WOULDN'T BE THERE TO HELP YOU WHEN NECESSARY(FARK agen.Bleedin Caps LOck)
Any how you ain't u.t.d, enciente, preggars, so w.t.f am I worrying about? S.F.A.
Time to abandon ship EH? Got a job to do fer meself. Since I am of royal Scottish blood, it'll have 'glitters'n it. and so sparkle in the water!
Luv from yer DADA. WtFis that? PA.

What am I gonna do when this old bastard croaks?

xx Lektrogirl

DRESSED LIKE A MORMON

Oh Allah. Today was pretty lacklustre. Dinner was pretty dramatic and ended up giving me a stomach ache. I try and be still like a mountain and last for an eternity but the rain is wearing me down. Then my close friend and confidant Alex said I dress like a mormon. Then apparently I am too tall. I got better though when we got out his iPhone and started looking at knickers on the Internet. And then we saw Nadia dressed like a whore on Kingsland Road looking fucking AMAZING. I wanted to stay out longer but I really felt sick to my stomach - so I decided to come home. And what happens when I check my inbox? The second email of the day from my friend from Hamburg Christian Weiß telling me all about his triathlon competitions with pictures [makes me feel guilty cause I never do any exercise], his travelling [makes me feel sad cause I haven't been anywhere since Christmas and I love to travel]. Anyway it's good cause I love pen pals.

Actually me and Alex made some good joke, had a dance and drink and did a fake kiss for Jonjo so it wasn't so bad. It was Max's birthday.

Oh Jah. I'm just writing bullshit now.

I better go to bed.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Just to say I feel like I have committed a great sin by writing 'Oh Allah' instead of 'Oh God' and worry that I will be struck by lightening or stoned by men in the street tomorrow. Perhaps I should call and ask Manara for advice tomorrow and ask her if wearing a scarf to cover my hair will help? Tonight Alex said I dress like a mormon. Shit. I said that already. I'm not drunk I swear.

OMG!!!
XXCENSOREDXX, XXCENSOREDXX's sister apparently got drunk and fucked XXCENSOREDXX!!!!! OF ALL PEOPLE [who apparently licked some girl's arse hole in the toilets of a club until she came and I swear to you she so didn't...] I tell you - when I heard, my jaw dropped. I was reeling. I couldn't fucking believe it. Shock of a lifetime. My days.

I HURT PHIL

I hurt his feelings. It was a mistake. I can see that. I see his passion and his pain. Both of those things start with P. So does his name. But Philip sounds more like it starts with an F.



And today I am in the Shop sitting in the cool basement with my shoes off and feet up on a stool listening to ABBA sung in Swedish in a shirt I bought last summer and never wore and I went looking for some sandals this morning and couldn't find them and found the shirt instead. I had already changed three times but still didn't feel right but I found the shirt and my life just fell into place. I wonder if I can work Max's laptop to make a video like Mr Chips did? I hesitate only because I worry I will end up looking like I have an double chin.

xx Lektrogirl

YERRR REALLY HIDEOUS

It is no secret - I have been really vile lately. To everyone. To myself. To one person in particular who I think the world of and I have been a TOTAL loser. To other people who I have met along the way and really wasn't thinking clearly. I can't scrub any of that out. I wish I could. But I'm so like Cher on a warship right now you'd be like confused as to who was who. You Get Me?

So what changed? Well having someone unhappy with me really wasn't a good look. But waking up and feeling homesick and hung over and dreading another day unfolding. It felt like a long time ago. I really thought those days were far behind me. The turning point came when Fambles came over and watched TV with me. I did nothing but lie there while Fambles watched some show about the pilgrimage to Mecca. We didn't speak. Then today was the cure: I got the opportunity to have a big cry in an office with a man I just met [I don't know why - I always find men easier to talk to, especially strangers] and then I scooted off into town to meet Fambles again and go shopping. It was so good to have some serious old jokes times on a spiritual level.

*******
I just tried to explain two of the best jokes from the day and one involved preferring to get AIDS than have unprotected sex and the other about a guy with a camo backpack who walked past us. Neither joke translates at all.
*******

So yeah, the storm is over for now. I've been a dick. I was totally why u onnu bad mind? Like totally getting your period in a posh pair of expensive knickers. The worst. [This did not actually happen - it was an allegory: i.e. ON A PAR]

xx Lektrogirl

SO EFFING GROSS

In the mood for DIY today after my astrology reading said that I can be lazy today and only attend to the essentials. So I decided to clean out all the waste pipes in the bathroom from the sink and shower. The picture above is just from the sink. That is a matted mess of hair, toothpaste and grout and got knows what else. It smelt fucking rank.

My mother keeps calling me and I keep avoiding her. I have nothing to tell her other than I'm broke, my neck hurts and I'm looking for a new job but can't sit at the computer for too long. I'm not in the mood.

Last night at WORK IT was a real drag for various reasons. But I was able to conclude that XXCENSOREDXX is no longer the worst dressed girl in London. After only seeing XXCENSOREDXX in TWO outfits, she has superseded the original horror with a devastating skill. Really really bad. So apologies to the first worst dressed girl. I actually think you are quite pretty for what it is worth.



I was so distracted by trying to have a good time when really I wasn't last night that I didn't even think to test the smell of this. I wonder if it really smelt of baby powder!!

When I first woke up this morning I felt like another lead weight had been added to my load when I thought some random cat had puked in my back yard - the same cunty cat who broke the cover for my kitchen strip light perhaps?! - but no it turned out to be just a water logged slice of wholegrain bread my neighbours had thrown into the garden along with all the other shit they throw, when not yelling at their dog or singing Frère Jacques to their kid atonally.



And to cheer myself up, I am reposting this song from September 2007

Best song ever.

xx Lektrogirl

I MISS YOU!!

Ladies I love you and think about you every day!! This picture makes me so sad... You have really moved!!



xx Lektrogirl

I'M SO SORRY

Hey everyone, I have to say sorry. I've been lying flat on my back for the last two days with the sorest neck muscle spazz out since days. The Cardinal came over with bread, three cheeses, prossecco and pain killers. Oh and an Old Jamaica. She also brought her new R Kelly record over 'Why U Wanna Play Me'. Tears of joy. Silverlink, my doppelganger (I mean LOOK at us both - tall, shaggy hair and glasses), has kept me company online with chats of cake, coffee, ganache, macaroons and praline. And now in bed all I can manage is to type this for a few minutes while watching a repeat of Law and Order SVU.

Please put up with me until I recover, or get a real soya latte from Milk Bar - whichever comes first. OH COOL! Real Life FBI files on telly now.

xx Lektrogirl

GREAT MATCH

I found the song I was looking for to match me with today

Mr Fingers: Stars




xx Lektrogirl

THE BEST FRIDAY

At the depths of despair - or maybe it was chronic PMT - I rang my Mutts the other night crying about everything and nothing. [It is a long story.] And like a superstar she knew just the fixer. She told me to get £20 out of her bank account and go and do something nice the next day. So obviously I went and did the best thing you could do on a Friday in London - I went to Borough Market.



Like everyone else who sees these, I am always totally captivated by them hanging there at the stall at Borough. One girl came up to me after I photographed them and asked me if I thought the stall owners should be allowed to display them there. She thought that they should be hidden. I mean - I could see what she was saying, but I didn't see it as any different to all the other meat on display all over the market [albeit without fur and cute ears] or the fish in the fabulous fish stall which is my personal favourite stall.



Granted the rabbits did stink of blood. I asked her if she was a vegetarian and she said no. She just felt that the display of rabbits was 'a little violent'. The rabbits just made me think of when I was young and we had 'pet' rabbits that were actually bought to grow for meat anyway. But my sister and I had befriended them all and been playing with them regularly taking them out of the cage and letting them run all over the garden. When I went out to the garage one day to see The G.A. almost at staggering stage from a lot of whiskey and a half skinned rabbit hanging from the corrugated iron roof I felt really awful. I asked The G.A. if I could have a go at skinning it, he said yes, I ripped off some pelt and it sounded like Velcro ripping apart. I felt even more awful. Then later at the dinner table, I felt more awful still.

Anyway back to Borough Market.


The money Mutts gave me I spent at Brindisa on tortilla and chicory salad and a coffee. All for £12.04 [including service.] I made the chicory salad for myself the next day for lunch it was so good. And the tortilla was pretty good - warm and gooey - but not as good as the tortilla from La Rosa in Madrid!

Then I went and bought a variety of snacks to be had with Prosecco while Cardinal and I prepared ourselves for Deano's birthday. Focaccia bread, beetroot hummus, fresh tomatoes, blue cheese and garlic olives. Venom also came over but he broke one of my limited edition Babycham glasses that Max gave me as a present when I still worked at the shop. I was drinking 'Rose Royals' [prosecco and French rose syrup] while Cardinal had prosecco with Bush Liqueur I brought back from Tasmania made with Pepperberries. Anyway as soon as we got to the party, and the Imodium I gave Venom to stop him pooing all over the place worked it was good times all round.

And now by Sunday morning, the misery has gone and I am much happier! Thanks Mum.

xx Lektrogirl

MONDAY 15TH APRIL REPORT

Have I told you all recently how much I love Teki Latex? I love him!

Today I walked in the rain all on my own through London feeling sad cause a part of my died today and it was horrible and I cried and I felt terrible. But SO relieved that all the problems I got are my own and not the weirdness of someone else. Anyway the destination of my walk was 55 Doughty Street - the old house of The G.A.



I also took a few pics of surrounding pubs that he had described to Mutts. The wind was icy and my feet got really cold. When the hell is the warmer weather coming?!

We all know I regularly dream about someone who wishes I wouldn't. Last night he was in love with my sister who for some reason looked like Jessica Simpson in daisy dukes and showing a lot of butt. I don't know how successful he would have been with her cause he was wearing a gauze nappy full of shit and rubbing himself against my leg getting a stiffy. So weird.



Time is really passing.



On a lighter note, I was walking up Tottenham Court Road with a certain friend who was going to pull something out of the oven for me and we followed for a while this trio of finely dressed chaps - what a bunch of faggasaurs!

The one on the left had the peachest butt I had ever seen - and his jeans seemed tailored to give him a girls bum. In fact what jeans were they? My friend declared they had to be Dolce and Gabbana cause 'a queen like that would go straight for the Dolce and Gabbana' [mainline obvs] but I was so confused - the label looked like those little metal plates on the Marc Jacobs bags... Can someone please fill me in on that?

The guy in the middle was like the third wheel on the bicycle. His clothes were like the look of the other two but recreated with ill fitting finds from H&M. Only he had a really nice bag.

Finally, the guy on the right had us in hysterics - what is with this heavy chambray style mix jacket with the shoulder shits with black leather gloves and dark jeans. He looked like a psycho. And the jeans... hang on a minute... "those jeans are from Celine and they don't make a men's line!" I guess he had problems walking in them cause he was as stiff as a rod all the way up the road, even when the guy from the far left came over and put his arm through his, not an inch of warm, not a leaning in, a bend of the arm, even recognition this guy existed. Maybe he was just so dead set to get to the 134 bus stop all the way home?!

Anyway - dark day - and check this out:

I cried today, walked through the wind and rain and was cold, waited half an hour for a bus that wouldn't let me on cause the machine ate my money, had to get a tube, waited in line to top up my oyster card and had no change cause I'd lost it in the bus ticket machine, realised the tube machine didn't take notes and had to go and queue up again at the window and talk to a man. AND DESPITE ALL ODDS - STILL A BABE - STILL GOT THAT PHOTOFACE TM - STILL GOT THAT VIBE - STILL GOT THAT BABE HAIR - REGULATORS!!! MOUNT UP!!

xx Lektrogirl

MEGA LOL

Here is my friend Caz trying to be like me with the bra shot... Oh no.. hang on... LOL hahaha

ROTFLOL

Mum called this morning and I told her was really sad this morning feeling like I had nothing to get out of bed for today. I can't tell you the real reasons why other than to say XXCENSOREDXX has banned me from talking about XXCENSOREDXX here and another whole part of my life is totally XXCENSOREDXX anyway...



and here I was at the New Zealander party have a whale of a time.

But then I get up this morning to see the world has been moving on with out me and see visions such as Caz with a twisted bra. Lovely.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Alex T asked me on Sunday night what my favourite episode of C.S.I. is and I couldn't choose but now I know. It is an episode in season 5 of C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigation [the Vegas one] called COMMITTED set in a mental prison where a guy gets murdered by the mother of one of the patients who is masquerading as a nurse so that she can continue her Jocasta complex relationship with her mentally ill son. They crack the case when Grissom uses a really great piece of far fetched technology [LOL] - audio archaeology or something. The son was making a clay vase when his nurse mother came in to demand that he finish it with the guy who was murdered and apparently the sound waves of their conversation were picked up in the wet clay. The C.S.I. team were able to pick up the sound recording using lasers, processing it through something that looked a little bit like Sony Acid Pro but with a jazzier skin and they all realised who was banging who.

I MISS THE RESTAURANTS

In a bid to save money, I haven't been eating out as much as I used to [Like every other night of the week down to never] and I REALLY REALLY MISS IT.

Here is a list of outstanding meals from my memory:

BAR LUNA: Sitges, Spain
On a hot hot hot sunny day I ate calamari, salt and pepper mussels and patatas bravas washed down with beer with Ramiro.


BEACH BURRITO CAFE: Berwick St, London
I used to go here all the time for the chicken nachos. It has closed now and apparently moved further up the road. I didn't try out the other place.

ARBUTUS: Frith Street, London
Probably the best dinner I ever had was here. I had potted chicken liver pate, fish and then floating meringue island.

Oh God this is too painful. Yauatcha, Andrew Edmunds, Aurora [even though I had my wedding anniversary dinner in there the bad taste of that event would never taint the taste of the food], Julie's, Amuse in NY, BAR DU MARCHE I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU. I haven't even been to the pub at the end of the street in three months.

Today I am miserable.

xx Lektrogirl

WEEKEND ACTIVITY

Here, print these out and make yourself a little book to colour in.



















Possibly one of the most romantic series of pictures I have seen for a long time.

xx Lektrogirl

ITALO FOR YOU

I have a really heavy heart today. If you read the book before, I am having trouble managing my 'circle of concern'. LOL. On the plus side, all the cop shows are on tonight.

xx Lektrogirl

DEAR SUMMER

Dear Summer

Yesterday I went into the Old Man Umbrella shop with friend to buy an umbrella. There was an exquisite selection of lady's brollies in the corner with chocolate brown fabrics and mauve tassles. But the air was crisp and the sun was shining and I didn't feel like I needed a new umbrella yesterday. I thought that soon Spring would bounce into my life and Summer would be on the doorstep.

But urgh. No. I didn't even need to open my eyes today to know that it was grey and miserable and raining. Winter - you are not very popular with me.

Apart from the smell of newsprint on the back seat of a car on a hot Summer's day in the 80's, the opression in the tube carriages in the 00's and inflated travel prices online there is not a lot I dislike about you Summer. I don't need to wear all my clothes at once, in fact I can wear very few. Tights good bye! Sunglasses hello! Mango, barbeque, smiles and lobster. Good looking men appear in Summer - all the dark woolly hats and grey scarves matching the "non beard beard" on their face dissapears. Finally we can see you.

Summer, please come soon. I know you are still working in Australia and a Summer there is far better than any Summer could be here in Britain, but there is something quaint and pretty about British people pinking themselves up in Soho parks. And I have a friend who could use some Summer in his life too. Please come soon.

Thanks you for taking the time to listen to me,

Your friend

xx Lektrogirl

LUCKY MAIL DAY

I've been off work for a week and there are another two weeks to go. What is better to brighten then dark days than some BANGING treats that have come in the mail!?

My postman is unfortunately a really strange looking Fanta Pants. A bit like Ian off Shameless, with super red hair and red skin. I opened the door to him the other morning in my PJ's and witches hair and saw his skin has not improved since I saw him last. He handed me a little box all the way from Germany - Drx and Olia! What could it be?


An F... Dog of course! What exactly the F... could possibly mean I don't know. But this is the best USB stick I have been given in my life. [To be fair, it is the only one.] Sadly, there is no loop for a lanyard which is the only fault to find with this product but I shall be so happy to carry him in my Marc Jacobs zip purse in my Marni bag and let him out for a run whenever I need to transfer information.

I'm a little bit horrified by my nails in that picture - but this is all because the grouting is finished.


I just put up all the mosaic tiles. I'm not responsible for the big ones. I have also cleaned the walls about 1000 times to get rid of all the excess grout. That shit gets everywhere.

What I wore clubbing in the 90's to Rephlex Raves with Nike ACG trainers, camo army surplus jackets, a fluorescent pink Speedo swimming costume, combat trousers and neon eye shadow has become a home decorators stable fashion garment. These tracky-daks were from Primark on Kilburn High Road when there were still IRA bomb stores getting discovered there. The Verve were my next door neighbours and Brian Eno lived a few doors down. Sometimes we'd see Bono popping in to his studio for a visit.

So back to my mail box:




The long awaited 7" from Mash Gordon released on Les Armees des BonBons - another present from The Fatherland. I was super happy to receive this. I have heard that the guys are recording a new album this year in their Dresden studio. So cool. In summer maybe I will go visit them. I remember when I visited in winter last time - I had my headlights on 24/7. And I don't mean on a car.

I was also happy to see that Sish-Tick has done the cover for the record. I first saw the work of Sish-Tick when first met Mash Gordon.




Why is it always have such babe hair in photos but in real life it looks like the tail end of a witches broomstick?

And finally BIG UPS TO PAUL GORMAN with his book The Look which documents British Fashion and it's life with music from all the way back from the 50's to today. His book has made it to the top 10 books on British Fashion in the Independant.

The Look Blog is also always and interesting read!

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Watched the Real Life FBI files last night about a serial murderer and rapist. Could help but think of this anti rape condom Covvo sent me the link for.

Oh and how great am I? I blogged about the Australian dude below with the sunglasses that are "too famous" who wrecked his neighbourhood before it was even on the Channel 4 news.