SPOILT FOR CHOICE

Listening to Snoop Dogg, eating pistachio icecream and checking these out:







And another 10 pages of them on my flickr.

MY FAVOURITE SWF

Well she is white and female but she isn't single - she's married to a man who frequently rocks a good look. Which makes her obsession with the pictures of my boyfriends on Flickr even stranger. I have to watch it - as soon as I put a picture of a man I am dating online Caz is there favouriting it up like nobody's business. ODder still they are usually nudie pics.

If you care to check out Mrs G's Flickr favourites, please do! She has also favourited lots of other pictures that I sometimes go and favourite after her.

xx Lektrogirl

NSFW: I COULDN'T RESIST

Well everyone - since the lameatnames domain hosting debacle and now my Flickr account has been switched to 'restricted' courtesy of the powers that be at Flickr [too many nips I guess] and I spend my Saturday mornings learning French from porn mags I suppose one could say I have reached a turning point of disregard. So here I present for you some images from the aforesaid French porn mag - more to show the brilliant graphic design and styling than anything else. And really I had no reason to write this bit of blurb other than to give you fair warning you might get into trouble at work for looking at this post on my blog.


Bob et Cindy. LOL.


THE FACE ON HIM!!! LOL.


Sorry for the burger, but what is that top she is wearing?! LOL.

Well I suppose it makes a change from me posting my tits all over the place.

I went into Milkbar this afternoon for my regular eggs and coffee and when I got off the tube I realised I had no money and no bank card. Thank god for the guys, they let me have my usual with the promise of paying later. Life is good.

xx Lektrogirl

MY TRUE FRIEND

Picture 018, originally uploaded by Tongue & Toys!.

Here is a picture of my true friend that I found among other peoples porn.

When I talk about feeling like a cat stuck in a petrol can, this cat illustrates pretty well the look on my face, if I really was that cat really stuck in that petrol can.

I am SO LOOKING FORWARD to 2009 you wouldn't believe.

xx Lektrogirl

YASOU LEKTROGIRL

Now you know how to greet people in Greek! Fuck off Flickr you malaka. [top diss back the playground]

xx Lektrogirl

QUEENS OF CANNSTATT & THE BOBBY

Queens of Cannstatt & The Bobby, originally uploaded by roglokacidparty.

In black is my friend Olia at the Wii Championships that were played at the Merz Acadmie recently. From what Drx said, he and his little son Juirj made the semi final!

I think Olia looks pretty good even though she is not wearing anything I gave her...

xx Lektrogirl

MY LOVE LIFE

My Love Life, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

2 SIDES

Питер 07/11/2008, originally uploaded by im_foto.

NIGHT NIGHT

koala bear asleep, originally uploaded by jamie mckerral.

MY LOVE LIFE

HEARTBEAT

, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

SWALLOWED A STONE

So Sarah and Grissom are no longer together, their relationship withered as he couldn't make up his mind. Now Grissom is in Lady Heather's upstairs bedroom asking her to stay. As painful as they are, stories of breaking hearts, lust and longing and dreams that never come true are so attractive to me. And I guess why I end up in the world of lost loves with a pair of kiddies knickers on my dining room table and my heart feels like I swallowed a stone.



That is why I am so in love with some of the pictures I collect for lameatnames.com which I am relieved to say is now back online.



Tomorrow I will continue on my picture framing mission. I have pictures of cancers and illustrations of eruptive fevers from antique books, gems and flowers, naked ladies and drive in porn movie posters. I am looking forward to the next lot of London guests who may come my way. I will also put together a proposal for a video that I would like to make for Appareil for their song "Sex Attack" [which I have blogged about before].

Also in other news: Drx, Role Model and I have all swapped Wii numbers. We can swap Mii's... I only have two Mii's at the moment, me and my boyfriend who is a black guy called Wasteman. I made him tall and skinny like Snoop Dogg.

And this from harriet_the_spy is worth a note.


Trying To Start A Meme

What's the oldest item of clothing you own? I've had this PJ top since I was nine or ten and watched my breasts develop under its thin cotton M&S comfort: 'Take It Easy' you sheep.

I will get around to doing this one day only I feel disadvantaged cause my really old stuff is at home in Australia and probably in Mum's polishing rag basket by now. I'm sure to have some old NIKE tops from when I was in my Sporty Spice phase though if I dig deep enough. To elucidate on the Sporty Spice phase: It was actually when I was going to Rephlex Raves "back in the day" wearing things like neon pink Speedo swimming costume with a massive zipper down the back, combat trousers, a red Helmut Lang tulle vest and giant Nike trainers back in 1996. And made up like a cosmetic counter exploded in my face.

xx Lektrogirl

PRACTICAL USAGE OF EMOTICONS

Practical usage of emoticons, originally uploaded by MRTHOMASWHITEHEAD.

I tell you I wish that there was some more of this kind of vibe going round today.

In other news I have Wii arm from playing boom blox in bed last night and it was difficult carrying my Marni bag into work. I stopped for a soya chai latte on the way [SATC LOL] and the barista totally fluffed the order. I couldn't stop laughing and asked him if he had a late night or an early morning. He said it was a good question. I saw the back of his neck and he had a giant pimple there not unlike some of the videos I have post on my blog previously and there was a white head appearing. This in itself didn't ruin the lovely moment we had together as we laughed and joked our way into the morning. And when he winked at me told me to have a nice day and see me tomorrow I knew I was just moments away from getting upsized latte's for life. I stopped off back in there to pick up my lunch and he was out the back in the kitchen. He came out for a moment and I could see that the heat of the toasting machines and grease was really giving the pimple on his neck a real leg up. I will be sure to check it in the morning and report back. It may burst in the shower!

After getting my life in check with the Cardinal last night - she is very good and sorting out the here and now's for me, I got a beautiful email from my spiritual advisor who is wonderful for sorting out big picture emotional traumas of the heart. She fixed something for me in one sentence. Then, I spoke with Madame on the phone on the way to buy a pair of leather gloves - and speaking to her is sometimes like talking to myself but with a few years extra wisdom. Ahh... wonderful. Finally, I need to check in with my friend who is just like me 12 years ago. And that is how my life goes round.

I am looking forward very much to Zurich at the end of the month. But not so much to Christmas this year. Last night I had dreams all about getting divorced and an ex who had bought a wig which was as poorly manufactured 'hair' as the hair that gets sticked on cheap plastic dolls. His new girlfriend was French and as stupid as they come. Even he thought so. I just got more and more angry. Then I woke up really early cause I needed to piss.

Okay - lunch break over. The world of big business back knocking at my door.

xx Lektrogirl

jordan.jpg

jordan.jpg, originally uploaded by Bennett 4 Senate.

PHIL THE PHOTOGRAPHER

My friend Phil [Mr Chips] has been using a camera to take pictures that I think Sanna got him from the charity shop. He has been running black and white film in it and I have been checking out his pictures with great delight. Every time he uploads a new set, his picture - particularly those of women - are just full of a nice magic.



It is true that 'reducing' everything to black and white can hide a multitude of sins and suddenly make things look like 'art' but I personally think what is the most powerful thing about Phil's pictures is the dialogue between himself and his subjects. These are not 'models' or just 'shitty friend snaps'.



I guess Phil is just lucky to have so many female friends who are comfortable in his company.



And because of that, he seems to be able to make all the women beautiful. And I find that all the other pictures of men - the pictures seem devoid of the same kind of commitment to the subject, or that subject is more disconcerted by the camera. I dunno what it is.

Compare this:


to this:


It just isn't the same.

The other thing I love about Phil's ability to engage with his subject and in turn tell a story with the image is how he can turn something totally inanimate into something magnificent







Anyway - I think Phil is my new favourite photographer. If you want to check out his other pictures, here is his Flickr. [rated - SFW].

YGM

To all the girls in the world... YGM!!!



Obvs there should be a Flickr group for "Babes With Pussy On Their Shoulder". A bit like a swashbuckling pirate of the blogging age.

If anyone else has a picture like this [and the guy in question is definitely worth looking at on a Saturday morning] please let me know.

xx Lektrogirl

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV, originally uploaded by s manara.

FROM MANARA'S FLICKR - another fucking hilarious rant and another reason why I love her:

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV

I put my headphones on immediately. FUCKING CUNT i hate this stupid twat so much she is everything that is wrong with the world today. reinforcing unachievable aspirations, FOR FUCKS SAKE IF YOU CAN'T AN ORGASM THEN FINGER YOURSELF WHILST GETTING BANGED OR GET YOUR MAN TO LICK YOUR PUSSY IT'S NOT HARD. FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNFORTUNATE AND CAN NEVER HAVE THIS, THAT'S THAT A TV SHOW WON'T HELP WILL IT YOU FUCKING VIVACIOUS BUBBLY CUNT. i also hated how she was like 'oh i have nice shoes, and nice pets, so what's missing?' err my shoe kicking you in your fucking cunt? AND she has a boyfriend! i know she's doing it for the money obv but god. i hate how the female orgasm has been standardised as a tangible, set experience that can be analysed by a tv show. besides, most of the world is conceiving without orgasming, i'd love to see her go to bangladesh and teach village women about orgasms. it's not like she's correlating orgasming with power hierarchies or autonomy or anything, the premise it is literally her being unsatisfied with what she's got and wanting to ~dig deeper~. obviously it's mainstream tv and it's going to be shit and offensive but whatever

also i love how in the first ep they watched 2 girls 1 cup lol

Uploaded by s manara on 1 Oct 08, 2.09AM BST.

Хорватия июнь

Сroatia / Хорватия июнь 2008, originally uploaded by im_foto.

I love it when I find a new photostream to subscribe to.

Today I calculated I was happy to wake up to banana muffins. I deliberately didn't take my sunglasses or my camera to work so that I could take my £1 junk shop book "Faces, Figures And Feelings: A cosmetic Plastic Surgeon Speaks" by Leslie E. Gardener published in 1959. Dr Gardener has very bushy eyebrows a bit like Sam The Eagle from the Muppets. The book is illustrated with all kinds of before and after pictures which I will no doubt at to my Flickr or blog at some stage while referencing another bleeding heart story from my tragic life. Anyway - as it transpired The Cardinal came into town and met me for lunch. AND SHE IS NO LONGER A VIRGIN!!! After our bacon and avocado salads we went down to Ladurée in The Burlington Arcade. Her favourite is pistachio. A discerning palette. The statement of the afternoon had to be when she said "I didn't even know all this was here in the Burlington Arcade. Last week if I won the lottery I'd have gone off shopping somewhere else. This Saturday if I win the lottery, I'll be coming here first. Look at all the bling." Sadly, the harlequin pendant for £9500 I had my eye was was gone. I could settle for an antique Rolex. And we sat in the sun [very shiny today!] and she took some pictures and we discussed a friends wedding that we heard of where the venue alone will cost £20,000. A lot. But yerrr I could have used my sunnies and my snapper today.

Speaking of a lot, this is my most viewed picture in my photostream:



Watching the pair of them dance was such a funny night.

xx Lektrogirl

DEATH BAG

Drunk Girls in Manly Beach Australia, originally uploaded by manuiwa1.

Sorry about the boob everybody but while browsing Flickr for more pictures for lameatnames.com I came across this beautiful picture - not cause of the girls, or their clothes or the tit hanging out, the nature strip or the houses or the cars - but because the blond girl is clutching what is commonly known from my part of Australia as "A Death Bag". It is one of the inner bags from a cardboard cask of wine - and that's how we do at parties back at home. The silver one's are cooler than the clear plastic ones [they look like colostomy bags] but either way, whatever is in them has so many preservatives in the 'wine flavoured drink' [lolz] that the morning after you feel like fucking death. Hence the name. You Get Me?!



Yesterday as I said the Troll came over and did my garden. It was amazing. In two hours the Troll totally changed the whole place. I keep looking at it in surprise - it is so incredible! But whatever happened in the garden yesterday has meant that a huge number of insects have come inside [are they angry?!] and I woke up this morning itching like crazy. Then I packed my record back full of tools and screws and DIY stuff and trundled round to the Troll's grotto and put some shelves up. I can't tell you how great these last two days have been. I mean - I'm totally broke right now and have been working super hard at my job and keeping myself in line - there are a lot of things I could be miserable about. But then these simple pleasures come along... I'm really getting old right?! Only I'm now covered in another set of itchy bites this time from being shut in the cupboard doing these shelf things...

I went to Mc Donalds for dinner tonight because I was too knackered to do anything else. It was a big treat - I had a 6 nugget meal with OJ and curry sauce plus a cheeseburger on the side. Thank Allah there was actually an burger in there this time. Last time I was there, I got a cheese burger with ONLY CHEESE in it!! The shame!!



Seriously looking like this I knew I was gonna spend the night alone. Anyway while I was there, three youths came in and as one of them was ordering, one of the trio 'lighthoused' him so he was standing there in just his boxers with his trackie dacks round his ankles. Massive LOLZ.



Here is the Tarte Tartin thing I cooked yesterday. It is massive mauled cause already a lot got eaten and then I kept picking at it. But yerrr it was good.

Sorry I'm talking bullshit now. Yerrr so that is a deathbag!

xx Lektrogirl

LAMEATNAMES.COM

At last, an arena for posting all my Internet intimate pictures. Everytime I put pics on here I get told by everyone "I CAN'T LOOK AT THAT AT WORK!!!" so instead, there is now a dedicated website to forlorn desire, absurd nudity and heartbreaking loneliness. There is a lot in the bin there.

http://www.lameatnames.com

BOOKMARK IT! V and I will be continually updating the site with new pictures when we can. V is based in Paris. I have never met her. We both like to be bitten. We both had sex with the Parisian Jew.

And yerrr take care. Definitely not suitable for work.

xx Lektrogirl

LOVING MYSELF

Loving Myself, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Yes pretty cool today. Also, I created my own Facebook Application today called CONTEMPORARY ART. For dinner I ate the last of the roast pork belly with some potato roesti. I watched the third episode of CSI Miami today. I put the heating on. Can you believe it? Then I went through all my desktop and random folders and realised I have quite a collection of great Flickr Porn now. I can't wait for Valeria to come to London in September so we can discuss such matters. I hope she likes to sit around and do nothing as much as I do. I am already thinking about what I will do for Christmas - it looks like tickets to Australia are £1600 - a £400 increase on last year. So maybe I will go for my birthday or something which is half the price. But still - Christmas alone in London. Thank Allah for all the Muslims who have chicken shops that are open on Christmas day or WTF would I eat?

xx Lektrogirl

CRAZY DAY

opp7, originally uploaded by carsick.

Today was all weird!

And I think that even the dog Coco upstairs is feeling it cause it won't stop barking.

I was walking along the street today and saw this:



I was on my way to Archgate for the usual but ended up having a falafel instead - a big mistake I thought. Then when I got home, Alex T rang to tell me all about going to an Art gallery and the conversation ended with him promising to punch me in the stomach if I ever got pregnant by anyone which is a sweet relief cause I don't think I could handle going to the dry cleaner and asking for one of those horrible coat hangers [they also ruin your clothes]drinking gin and eating green paw paw all in a hot bath. I think I would rather have Alex T punch me in the guts as hard as he can. I would even like it if he took a little run up. How that conversation happened I don't know and on that note we rang off from one another and I went to Waitrose cause I'm cooking a lunch for a friend tomorrow. I hope it turns out good cause he is on a par with the food fascism. I am just as guilty. Though I can't say what I am making now cause it is meant to be a surprise.


NOT the fire I am about to talk about.

On my way to Waitrose though, an old man scrunched up a piece of paper and set it alight and buried it in a huge pile of dry twigs outside someone's apartment under an overhanging tree on Magdala Avenue. I just watched him do it. As the flames rose and started licking the tree I was on 999 straight away and calling telling them my story. The owners of the house came out in the meantime and threw some water and kicking the bush stamping out the fire. I went up to them and told them what I had seen the old dude do. He was still sitting at the bus stop watching what was going on. He started yelling that he didn't do it. The guys from the house were calling him a fucking mental. The fire truck arrived. I needed to poo [sorry TMI!] so I went off to McDonald's. Etc.



And speaking of weirdness! You'll never guess who Japper's fancies like mad!! HOUSE!!! She said he is totally DREAMY! And she said the reason she fancied him is cause he is like EXTREME XXCENSOREDXX. Fucking LOLZAPOLLOZA!! Really good one. I wonder if I have to XXCENSOREDXX more of that.



And in further weirdness, I had a Internet chat with a friend who was in an Internet café at a nudist beach where he was hanging out with his father and his father's boyfriend. If I thought about it too much, I started tripping.

Anyway I hope you had a happy day everyone cause mine was pretty awesome in it's own little way. I'm not going out tonight though I was going to go to that thing The Cardinal and Antoinette are going to - bugger what is it called?! Can't remember.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. I hope you appreciated the nice Flickr finds I have exhibited for you too.

NOT MY IDEA

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Pippa's feet.

GIVE AND TAKE AWAY

I woke up this morning - finally - to receive the following in my Flickr mail. It has lest me feeling totally heartbroken. How can this be? A random message from a complete stranger.

--------

06/08/08

Dear L

I’m writing to apologise for my borderline obsessive compulsive accessing of your blog.

You must admit, images of good food and vicariously experiencing jolly japes in dirty London town are quite seductive, addictive and an acceptable displacement activity. London hasn’t looked so good since irritant released the I-sound 7” back in the day.

However, you do have a point and I feel that I may not be able to adequately explain to my senior management team that it is appropriate for me to look at post-modern images of plates of food and nightclub toilets.

In addition, it may not be the most effective use of my time at work.

Therefore, I guess it’s time for me to clean up my desktop.

Goodbye Diana Scheuemann!, farewell Russian tramp racing,! Bless! Bless! Lektrogirl…

a new life for me.

kind regards, A.

p.s. I don’t think that is my IP address, so please don’t send any horse’s heads to my co-workers!

--------

Without dwelling on this too much, I will drag myself to the Worker's Cafe on Holloway Road for an omelette and coleslaw and then purchase the necessary dowelling to construct the makeshift stand for my new chromakey green roll. Mr Chips and I have a plan. The G.A. sent me another email this morning but only some sections are relevant if you didn't read the mail I sent him. And there is also some personal information regarding my latest interests in men which I don't feel like revealing. Pop's and I chat about all shit. But here are some edited highlights:

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 06 August 2008 07:03
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: sittin on me bum, bored to death on wed 7th August 2008. Needless to add, unusually quite elated.!


howdy shags, I already sent you a text about good news, Y.s. F.s No,I don't give you the credit for an adult aged 16 years, Sometimes I think you must be about six! As you often print HA.HA. yOU WANKER. XXCENSOREDXX? Your comment about teaching young folk about dealing with the future is very relavent.(how'd ya spell 'relevent?) Mind you even at my age it'soften hard to unravel the poxy governmental policies relating to any F.Thing.But then I always was a bit thick.
XXCENSOREDXX? Good show, mate.
I'm not exactly worried about you gettinng yourself up the duff. ai JUST WORRY THAT WE WOULDN'T BE THERE TO HELP YOU WHEN NECESSARY(FARK agen.Bleedin Caps LOck)
Any how you ain't u.t.d, enciente, preggars, so w.t.f am I worrying about? S.F.A.
Time to abandon ship EH? Got a job to do fer meself. Since I am of royal Scottish blood, it'll have 'glitters'n it. and so sparkle in the water!
Luv from yer DADA. WtFis that? PA.

What am I gonna do when this old bastard croaks?

xx Lektrogirl

TIGHTS FETISH

IMG_3620, originally uploaded by zhanlan9.

There is someone every day now inviting me into their worlds by making favourite any picture I have on my Flickr of women's legs and tights - most of which I take for just jokes. I DO NOT HAVE A NYLON TIGHT FETISH - anyone who knows me will know I only wear cotton rich Falke or Woolford tights through the cold months. But I don't have a fetish about it!

Anyway today, zhanlan9 came into my life by making favourite one of my pics and I think they have to be the best pictures I have seen of any tight fetishist yet. They are full of such as mixture malaise which I think comes from the rooms disarray and ennui which comes from the model. I can only imagine what their sex life must be like. If only the pig on the door knob could tell it's secrets!

And who said Asian* girls have no arse?

xx Lektrogirl

* I always make the same mistake I think cause in Australia we say Asian for Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Viet etc and Indian for India but here in the UK I don't know wtf to say cause I know Asian means India / Pakistan etc... Someone sort me out.

THE BORING ONE

Dear Mathieu

In celebration of our conversation this evening, I have decided to curate a new Blog exhibition called THE BORING ONE with some of my favourite pictures from V aka the 'boring' one. Who as you know, I prefer to your last girlfriend known as 'the boy'. As for poor Julie, I am sure she would prefer to remain out of all of this.

So, for the grand opening of THE BORING ONE, please scroll down to view the pictures I have selected. Which you have already seen a thousand times before.

On curating this exhibition:
I love the internet. I love that people post the post intimate things on there. The most public domain. And then, often in private, thousand of people look at it. Thousands of people could all be looking at it in private all at the same time. It is mind boggling. I love it. There is no privacy any more. I love looking for people's secrets.

Et Voila.

THE BORING ONE
Photographs by .v


fantôme
Taken on May 26, 2008


Tu as dit laisse-moi te mettre dans un taxi si tu rentres chez toi dans cette tenue tu vas te faire violer et tuer et on retrouvera ton corps au bois de Boulogne.
Taken on April 30, 2008


ce n'est pas privé c'est un portrait/ I need you to hold on while the sky is falling
Taken on September 8, 2007


Taken on January 2, 2008


laideur fascinante de la décoration des hôpitaux
Taken on January 11, 2008


DSC09767
Taken on January 11, 2008


DSC08439
Taken on November 30, 2007


that night I fell asleep with the light on
Taken on October 4, 2007