SO MY LOVE LIFE

ROTFLOL

xx Lektrogirl

ONE FOR MANARA

xx Lektrogirl

I HURT PHIL

I hurt his feelings. It was a mistake. I can see that. I see his passion and his pain. Both of those things start with P. So does his name. But Philip sounds more like it starts with an F.



And today I am in the Shop sitting in the cool basement with my shoes off and feet up on a stool listening to ABBA sung in Swedish in a shirt I bought last summer and never wore and I went looking for some sandals this morning and couldn't find them and found the shirt instead. I had already changed three times but still didn't feel right but I found the shirt and my life just fell into place. I wonder if I can work Max's laptop to make a video like Mr Chips did? I hesitate only because I worry I will end up looking like I have an double chin.

xx Lektrogirl

SO EMO RIGHT NOW

Jo Apps sang this tonight at Hot Breath Karaoke at my request. It started something deep inside of me. Which revved like an engine fuelled by double Frangelico's [my own plus the ones for Mr Chips cause he didn't like his mixed with coke] and the 2-4-1 Cocktails. I fucking changed gear by the end of the night when this came on:



And by the time I got home, Mr Chips has told me to "Fuck Off" and I was sobbing down the phone to The Twin "Ohhh my God I don't know what I am going to do!! His eyes are too close together!!!"

Already my hangover is starting to knock on my door. I am by no means sleepy after sleeping all day and not being able to sleep all night from coughing the last few nights.

Perhaps I should take the advice of the The Twin and just go to bed...

xx Lektrogirl

[P.S. this is sounding pretty tragic isn't it?! OJ LOL]

OMG and on a random note - Denzel Washington! I feel just like him when he is an alcoholic in that great movie - fuck what was it called?! I can't remember but I wrote about it before on my blog. I watched it with Seb in Hamburg. It was INCREDIBLE.

=^..^= I CAN HAS HISTORY? =^..^=

Student Helene Dams has made the most amazing web page here that was forwarded to me today by Dragan Espencheid.

I have not seen such impressive work for some time.

xx Lektrogirl

RUM AND COCAL COLA

Mixed with beer. Who knew what a great hang over that would make? It definitely was a potion that removed all pain from my neck and shoulder allowing me to vibe along to R Kelly [My mind's telling me no.....] until this morning when I'm a crippled WRECK.



Here I am a 100% Babe Hair Babe so totally in love with myself I can't even look at Paul Pieroni. We had been to this exhibition at his gallery, seventeen, earlier.



Where the Cardinal and I had made this. It was great. Other visitors to the gallery saw it and were adding bottles like they were supposed to. I supposed no-one saw the value in the art there and it has been swept away. But whatever.



We bumped into Jenny Jenny in the street who was more than happy to pose with Lady. The Cardinal bought Lady from Nathaniel's new shop on Hackney Road full of the most amazing stuff.



See! Amazing! Jewellery, Clothes, Buttons, Music manuscripts, calligraphy practice, Gypsy Recipe Cook Books... all sorts...



And last night was the first night I met Phil. I mean WHAT A TOTAL BABE. [Not The Cardinal... I mean Chipstix Phil] His pictures on Facebook to date have not done him justice. He really is a handsome man! And so funny!!!


"Rambo" in a lonely pub

Giving birth is a Playa's Game.

Anyway - last night was major jokes and my body hurts too much to detail everything.



Paul Peroni definitely not fooling anyone.



We are SOOOO sad that Single White Female [DIAF] hates us.

I'm feeling so rough now and want to lie, cry and die right now I have to go. I will leave you with this beautiful Andrew Sisters song to reflect upon.



Thank you Captain Morgan.

xx Lektrogirl

GETTING OLDER

Here is me 7 years ago - so 28. My arms are nearly as thin as the Cardinal's! I'm in Zurich, which in my opinion is the best city to spend some summer time with someone you love. There is the lake that you can swim in on a hot day. There is also the Limmat which in summer time turns into two river banks of makeshift bars so you can swim, drink and eat sausage all day and night. There is also the woods up behind all the allotments of private gardens for the city folk with their mini chalets full of tools and garden furniture. It is so pretty. In this picture, we are having a barbeque my friend and me. Bratwurst, cervelas and senf from Migros [LOL that joke about the slice of Swiss cheese and an iMac still cracks me up after all these years. You won't even remember it.] Thinking about Molfina Thunderhunter, fishing with a tin can, drilling holes and painting in the nude with all that sunshine I could almost think that time was perfect. Of course nothing ever is... Karin, Frau Wick, Monsieur Raide, DJ Bobo.



And here I am 11 years ago. JOKES. I had only been in London a year. Maybe not even.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

Unfortunately, due to the sensitivity of some of the subject matter contained therein, I was forced to XXCENSOREDXX sections of the last email from The G.A.

Takes me 2 and a half hours to s.s.s.* and dress myself each morning, which is why I am typing this note at 11.15 a.m.
Good to hear from you shags, NO I am not really a racist? I remember Ruthy Rare (rahray say) who was a New Zealand Moari and as dark as a fukkin blood sausage, Good fun though, Could play a ujke and sing like a thrush. Only quite little, hard to find in a double bed!!! XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX?
XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX. shove it up yer joompa. Take ma's credit card and extract up to 20$ worth to buy yourself some British fish and chips. (think of me when you eat them!) I will give her my next fortnites allowance to cover your end. I hope to hell you can get a feed of f'n'c' for 20 $?
Yeah I know it must be tough having the imbalance problem. Specially if you got it off my side of the family. My ma and pa were quite a pair of fukkin wonkers during our lives. None of we three boys rarely ebver lived together, nor with our mother and father. We were always farmed out to one relative or another, even not relatives , just people who would take spare kids and bed 'em and feed 'em(like some old tart in Birmingham Mrs Hill) And Mrs Milligann in Renfrew street in Glasgow, et effincetera. Oo cares? that was yesterday and a whole lot of them ago. At least you and Sara spent most of your youth together, din ya?
I expect I was a bit of a pain in the arse. Selling grog and all. No wonder I ended up having a stroke.
I'll get a lottery ticket. We'll win 30 million and I'll come home! We'll live in the best hotel in Londinium! The Dorset? The Ritz? The park bench? Whatever
Luv from yer old fella. XXCENSOREDXX. cHEERS G.A. POPS.XXXX

I wish I could just leave that unXXCENSOREDXX cause it is so hilarious.
FYI - s.s.s. = shit shower shave

And thanks to everyone to wrote to tell me that they like my new video ALL OF MY FOR ALL OF YOU. It is always nice to receive positive vibes. We have all witnessed some odd behaviour from others on this blog of late. But like Lady Sovereign sang [I know - quoting her! YGM! LOLZ - but also kind of fitting]:

"Love me or hate me I'm still an obsession,
Love me or hate me that is the question,
If you love me then THANK YOU
If you hate me then FUCK YOU"



The best thing about that video is one of the garbage men who throws "Sov" in the truck is Jeyjon who used to be in Dead or Alive. NO JOKES.

xx Lektrogirl

TEKI LATEX

ROTFLOL



The only thing that would make this picture of Julien more perfect would be if he had his dick out in his left hand. I really want to go to Paris soon, and if Bitch Ass Darius comes in June, then I guess that is definitely gonna happen while we go and get all New Jack Swing with the Diamond Grills Boys.

xx Lektrogirl

SPRUNG BY HIS MUM

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

Well it seems that my father's email which I post on my blog recently has shown that he has a LOT of fans. Everyone I have bumped into since then has been like OMG I love your Dad. Cool.

So, here is a picture of his room at the home where he lives:



The dedicated observer will be able to count a number pictures of me on the wall to give variety and contrast to the little blonde heads and cute faces of my nephews and niece.

Now, I have an audio treat for you all - a little 400K MP3 of The G.A. telling us about his experience with his Internet Service Provider. Click here and listen closely.

And another tit bit of information about my father, The G.A. He is a very funny man and has made a number of classic jokes through his time. I would say an equal proportion were intended vs accidental. Anyway, this is my personal favourite joke.

The council wrote a letter to my father to remind him that the registration on the family dog Winnie [a corgi then buried under a rose bush] was due for renewal. My dad sent a one line letter back to the council saying, "Thank you for reminding me my best friend is dead."

I will endeavour to keep you updated on the life of The G.A. when I can.

xx Lektrogirl

BANNED FROM YIGGA'S LJ

DJ Venom has banned me from his LiveJournal. MEGA LOL ROTFLOL CARTWHEELS!!! And I haven nothing against Jewish people - but Jew jokes always get a rise out of Venom. But seemingly I shouldn't be offended about all his "All the Australians..." comments.

xx Lektrogirl

HUMAN TETRIS

YESTERDAYS LOLZ

ME 09:39:20: yeah what is up with him!
HER 09:39:28: well insecurity
HER 09:39:40: and when i was in "love" with him i didn't see anything wrong with him
HER 09:39:51: now i'm not i know XXCENSOREDXX is a big fat balding man with a 2 inch penis
HER 09:40:11: before it was like "ooooh he's so cute and cuddly! and though he's small he knows how to use it awww"
HER 09:40:22: i'm such a hater
HER 09:40:47: and i was pretty insecure to go out with him too really
ME 09:40:57: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHH
ME 09:41:01: HAAHHAhHAHHAHAHAHAHhHAHAh
ME 09:41:02: HAhaHHAHAh
ME 09:41:03: HAHAHAH

Whenever I talk with HER on AIM it is always the best and funniest chats ever. I've been thinking about this every since laughing. I love you HER!!

THROWN IN THE BIN

N.B. These three should be APC models.

x Emma